Homicide - Life on the Street Quotes
Lewis: Luther, Luther, look both ways before crossing the street, my brother.
Luther Mahoney: You do the same.
Luther Mahoney: You do the same.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Howard: I'll go have a conversation with the illustrious Luther Mahoney.
Lewis: I'm goin' to put a bullet in his brain.
Howard: Hey, that's a thought.
Lewis: I'm goin' to put a bullet in his brain.
Howard: Hey, that's a thought.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Kellerman: We do this job. A job that nobody gives a piss about and what are we? We're garbagemen. There isn't any consideration anymore, they just keep killing each other. They should have to go out and roll a body and see what we see.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Kellerman: He stands up for us and where are we for him? Have a beer, right? So we can raise a toast to the son of a bitch because he was an idiot, thinking he could make a difference in the world.
Lewis: He wasn't an idiot.
Kellerman: No? All he had to do was go along with the program; just let them sell drugs off the corner, just accept things as they are and he'd still be alive. Your old partner Crosetti - he was an idiot too.
Lewis: What?
Kellerman: He let it all get to him.
Lewis: Why you wanna go there, man? Why you wanna drag Crosetti into this?
Kellerman: I see certificates of merit hanging in the squadroom. For what? So we can remember what a great guy he was, what a great detective? Does him a lot of good that he's remembered. Just a stupid, pathetic moron is what he was.
Lewis: Why you wanna talk about Crosetti like that? Why you wanna talk about someone you didn't even know?
Kellerman: There's the door. You don't wanna hear it, get out.
Lewis: He was a good man and he was a good detective. You don't know the first thing about him so what gives you the right to talk about someone you don't even know?
Kellerman: What, he's a mystery?! He kills himself. He tossed his drunk, pill-popping ass in the water. He should have eaten his gun.
Lewis: Mike-
Kellerman: No! No "Mike"! No more partner, no more friend, none of it! This is done between us!
Lewis: He wasn't an idiot.
Kellerman: No? All he had to do was go along with the program; just let them sell drugs off the corner, just accept things as they are and he'd still be alive. Your old partner Crosetti - he was an idiot too.
Lewis: What?
Kellerman: He let it all get to him.
Lewis: Why you wanna go there, man? Why you wanna drag Crosetti into this?
Kellerman: I see certificates of merit hanging in the squadroom. For what? So we can remember what a great guy he was, what a great detective? Does him a lot of good that he's remembered. Just a stupid, pathetic moron is what he was.
Lewis: Why you wanna talk about Crosetti like that? Why you wanna talk about someone you didn't even know?
Kellerman: There's the door. You don't wanna hear it, get out.
Lewis: He was a good man and he was a good detective. You don't know the first thing about him so what gives you the right to talk about someone you don't even know?
Kellerman: What, he's a mystery?! He kills himself. He tossed his drunk, pill-popping ass in the water. He should have eaten his gun.
Lewis: Mike-
Kellerman: No! No "Mike"! No more partner, no more friend, none of it! This is done between us!
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: You letting them tell you that you don't matter, but we do matter, Mike. We do. I miss Crosetti. Sometimes I wake up and I think I'm gonna see his big head in the squadroom. But I don't; I just see you. You a better cop than he was. I ain't taking nothing away from him, but you are and I ain't just saying that. This is the job, Mike. This is what we do. I just wanna be a good cop. And if I walk outta here and I let you smoke yourself, am I still a good cop?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: Ah, provolone and onion. Bland and zing. Soft and crunch. The Yin and Yang of sandwich filling.
Brodie: Only a man with no woman in his life eats extra onion for lunch.
Brodie: Only a man with no woman in his life eats extra onion for lunch.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: Nothin's missing, so I guess we can rule out a robbery, huh?
Pembleton: We don't guess, Meldrick, we hypothesize. We infer. We extrapolate from the evidence. We do not guess.
Lewis: Go easy on me, would you Frank? It's early in the morning, I haven't had my first donut yet.
Pembleton: We don't guess, Meldrick, we hypothesize. We infer. We extrapolate from the evidence. We do not guess.
Lewis: Go easy on me, would you Frank? It's early in the morning, I haven't had my first donut yet.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Jeff: Who do you guys think did this?
Lewis: In my best extrapolation? Professor Plum, in the library, with the candlestick.
Lewis: In my best extrapolation? Professor Plum, in the library, with the candlestick.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Gee: Do I smell the acrid aroma of squad room discord? The breakdown of the collabrative process? 'Cause I'd hate to think that two of my carefully matched detectives are finding lumps in the honeymoon mattress.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: And you know what else, Frank? Love spelled backwards is "evil." E-v-o-l.
Pembleton: That's not love spelled backwards. That's live spelled backwards.
Lewis: Cut me some poetic slack, will ya, Frank?
Pembleton: That's not love spelled backwards. That's live spelled backwards.
Lewis: Cut me some poetic slack, will ya, Frank?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Kellerman: You sure you want me with you?
Bayliss: Yeah. Sure, why not?
Kellerman: I don't know. The last time we worked together, you, uh, were kinda snarky.
Bayliss: Snarky?
Kellerman: Yeah. Snarky. You know, from the ancient Greek, meaning butthead.
Bayliss: Yeah. Sure, why not?
Kellerman: I don't know. The last time we worked together, you, uh, were kinda snarky.
Bayliss: Snarky?
Kellerman: Yeah. Snarky. You know, from the ancient Greek, meaning butthead.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Dr. Cox: I just love bombs. They always make the autopsy so easy.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Gene: Hey, I found an ear.
Bayliss: Friends, Romans, countrymen....
Kellerman: Ear today, gone tommorow.
Dr. Cox: You guys are so sick.
Bayliss: Friends, Romans, countrymen....
Kellerman: Ear today, gone tommorow.
Dr. Cox: You guys are so sick.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: [to Gee] What we do down here is important. We speak for those that can...no longer speak for themselves.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: The only thing I have in common with Judaism is we both don't like to work on Saturdays.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: Come on, do it for me just one more time, please, and I won't ask you again.
Kellerman: Would you give it a rest?
Munch: Just once more, please?
Kellerman: Oy vey iz mir, I'm so meshugenah I could plotz.
Munch: Do it again.
Kellerman: No.
Kellerman: Would you give it a rest?
Munch: Just once more, please?
Kellerman: Oy vey iz mir, I'm so meshugenah I could plotz.
Munch: Do it again.
Kellerman: No.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: You remember when you were young and the most exciting thing that you thought of was that girl in your French class. You hoped she'd talk to you, let you walk her home, maybe even let you hold her hand.
Kellerman: Every time you looked at her you got embarrassed.
Munch: You couldn't imagine sleeping with her. All you could think about was reaching down for her hand, weaving your fingers together, have her palm touch your palm. We forget what that was like. We have sex, get married, fight, get divorced. Somewhere along the line we forgot how wonderful it is to hold another human being's hand. What happens to us that we take things like that for granted?
Kellerman: I don't know. We get older, I guess.
Munch: We get older, forget who we used to be, what we used to believe in. Love, peace, the Colts would always be in Baltimore. Here's to all the Helen Rosenthals of the world.
Kellerman: Every time you looked at her you got embarrassed.
Munch: You couldn't imagine sleeping with her. All you could think about was reaching down for her hand, weaving your fingers together, have her palm touch your palm. We forget what that was like. We have sex, get married, fight, get divorced. Somewhere along the line we forgot how wonderful it is to hold another human being's hand. What happens to us that we take things like that for granted?
Kellerman: I don't know. We get older, I guess.
Munch: We get older, forget who we used to be, what we used to believe in. Love, peace, the Colts would always be in Baltimore. Here's to all the Helen Rosenthals of the world.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: Okay, we got multiple chest wounds, an open door, and a weapon halfway across the living room.
Dr. Cox: It's going to be hell writing this one up as a suicide, I'll tell you that much.
Dr. Cox: It's going to be hell writing this one up as a suicide, I'll tell you that much.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Well, now I've seen it all. Frank Pembleton, public defender?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Dr. Cox: You depress me, Munch. Don't you ever think of anything positive to say?
Munch: Hey, if he's not murdered, it's not my problem.
Munch: Hey, if he's not murdered, it's not my problem.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Stivers: Luther Mahoney. What do you say? You in?
Lewis: You mention Luther Mahoney, we'll follow you to the ends of the earth.
Lewis: You mention Luther Mahoney, we'll follow you to the ends of the earth.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Parking Attendant: Could you please bring some identification to the front desk?
Lewis: No problem. [drives through gate]
Lewis: No problem. [drives through gate]
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: [after beating up Luther] I'm a good cop, Luther. I'm an honest cop. That means I got standards.
Luther Mahoney: I'm not armed.
Lewis: Never beat on a man half your size. People won't think it's a fair fight.
Luther Mahoney: I'm surrendering.
Lewis: Never put an ass-whooping on a man unless you're damn sure he got it coming to him. I'm going to be beating on you for a little while.
Luther: You're crazy, Lewis.
Lewis: I've been a cop for a long time. And drugs out there, we're never gonna win that. There's a hundred open-air drug markets in this city and 50,000 drug fiends out there. And we are taking on human desires with lawyers and jailhouses and lockups and you and I both know human desire is kicking us in the ass. So what I need to know, Luther, is why you couldn't be happy with just the package. If you were just slinging drugs maybe you and I wouldn't be here. But the bodies. What about the bodies? What is up with that?
Luther Mahoney: I'm not armed.
Lewis: Never beat on a man half your size. People won't think it's a fair fight.
Luther Mahoney: I'm surrendering.
Lewis: Never put an ass-whooping on a man unless you're damn sure he got it coming to him. I'm going to be beating on you for a little while.
Luther: You're crazy, Lewis.
Lewis: I've been a cop for a long time. And drugs out there, we're never gonna win that. There's a hundred open-air drug markets in this city and 50,000 drug fiends out there. And we are taking on human desires with lawyers and jailhouses and lockups and you and I both know human desire is kicking us in the ass. So what I need to know, Luther, is why you couldn't be happy with just the package. If you were just slinging drugs maybe you and I wouldn't be here. But the bodies. What about the bodies? What is up with that?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Kellerman: [to Luther] You have the right to remain silent.
[He shoots Luther]
[He shoots Luther]
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch[shocked at finding a cooperative murder witness in West Baltimore] Tell me, Mr. Joseph, are there anymore like you at home?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Hey Gharty, who's house are you in? Frank here, has closed more cases than the two of you will in a lifetime.
Gharty: This is his house? I'm a guest?
Gharty: This is his house? I'm a guest?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: Hey pal, where you from?
Scott Russell: [an obvious New Yorker] Baltimore.
Kellerman: Oh yeah?
Scott Russell: Abso-freakin'-lutely. I love Baltimore. Eat crabs. Go, Orioles.
Munch: That's not how we say it.
Kellerman: It's 'Bawlmer,' hon. We lose the 't.'
Scott Russell: Oh yeah, well lose this, pal.
Scott Russell: [an obvious New Yorker] Baltimore.
Kellerman: Oh yeah?
Scott Russell: Abso-freakin'-lutely. I love Baltimore. Eat crabs. Go, Orioles.
Munch: That's not how we say it.
Kellerman: It's 'Bawlmer,' hon. We lose the 't.'
Scott Russell: Oh yeah, well lose this, pal.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Dr. Cox: Personally, I feel that if anyone gets killed after 2 AM, they have no right to a quality death investigation.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street