House Quotes
House: What exactly is the difference between pretending to cooperate and actually cooperating?
TV Show: House
House: I started to connect with one guy but then my propensity for screwing things up overtook me. And then my desire to have fun overcame my propensity.
TV Show: House
House: Bed is for sissies. Unless you're having sex, in which case... no, bed is still for sissies.
TV Show: House
House: Like breaking up with a clingy girlfriend. Sure I'll miss the sex but now I get to drink milk right out of the carton.
TV Show: House
House: Right, doctors world-over treat chronic pain with collections of Hummel figures.
TV Show: House
Wilson: Try not to be a jerk.
House: I'm trying. I'm just failing.
Wilson: Roll your meatballs and keep an open mind. (After a few seconds) How hard are you trying not to make a ball joke right now?
House: They're smoking. Your balls.
Wilson: Oh! Ow. No, no. They're browning way too fast.
House: Blue is the color you got to watch out for.
Wilson: Enough!
House: I'm trying. I'm just failing.
Wilson: Roll your meatballs and keep an open mind. (After a few seconds) How hard are you trying not to make a ball joke right now?
House: They're smoking. Your balls.
Wilson: Oh! Ow. No, no. They're browning way too fast.
House: Blue is the color you got to watch out for.
Wilson: Enough!
TV Show: House
House: Daddy's little co-dependent is all grown up. Making room for Daddy's hot bisexual with boyfriend problems.
Thirteen: It's not a problem, it's a … okay, it's a problem.
Thirteen: It's not a problem, it's a … okay, it's a problem.
TV Show: House
House: Taste this.
Thirteen: God. This might be the best thing I've ever eaten … and yes, I'm including what you're thinking of now.
Thirteen: God. This might be the best thing I've ever eaten … and yes, I'm including what you're thinking of now.
TV Show: House
Foreman: I got you a donut. [pause] The florist was closed.
Thirteen: I'll get a vase and put it in water.
Thirteen: I'll get a vase and put it in water.
TV Show: House
House: Started thinking about what you said; about me obsessing; started obsessing about obsessing.
TV Show: House
House: How like a man to think I enjoy slaving over a hot stove all day while you're off banging secretaries.
TV Show: House
House: That's like adopting a puppy; suddenly someone's whining, following me everywhere, chewing up my LP's...
TV Show: House
House: The only thing you know is that I'm a genius who got a dog to pee in your toilet. You don't know how I did it, or more interestingly, where I peed.
TV Show: House
House: (about his urine) If the lab says this is Labrador too, please let me know right away. It'd explain my overwhelming desire to wipe my butt on your carpet.
TV Show: House
[Foreman, Cameron and Chase enter the office]
House: Oh my God it's three years ago! — Does that mean I'm still crazy?
House: Oh my God it's three years ago! — Does that mean I'm still crazy?
TV Show: House
[Thirteen got a job offer]
Foreman: Douglas owes me a favor.
Thirteen: Most people send chocolates.
Foreman: I'd stand outside your apartment all night holding a boombox, except you told me you hate eighties music.
Foreman: Douglas owes me a favor.
Thirteen: Most people send chocolates.
Foreman: I'd stand outside your apartment all night holding a boombox, except you told me you hate eighties music.
TV Show: House
Wilson [to House]: How was your first day of school?
House: Didn't pee once in the sandbox.
House: Didn't pee once in the sandbox.
TV Show: House