How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Barney: The World is going to come to an end tonight. Yes think about it. End of the World, Nostradamus, Notre Dame, Fighting Irish, Irish, St. Patrick's Day. This is it Bro. Bro-pocalypse Now... Bro-Mageddon.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Stella: Ah the butterfly tramp stamp, my bread and butter. So I'm guessing that the real story involves a bad break up and some booze, unless it's a gang tattoo, in which case I thinks time to find a new gang.
Ted: Ah no, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo, then a few weeks went by, and all of a sudden...
Stella: Well, I think I can remove it in ten one-hour sessions, but I should warn you, laser surgery's very painful.
Ted: Well, I think I you'll find that I have a very high tolerance for pain. Just last night I sat through the worst movie ever made.
Stella: Oh, Plan 9 from Outer Space?
Ted: No...the Worst Movie, Manos Hands of Fate.
Ted: Ah no, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo, then a few weeks went by, and all of a sudden...
Stella: Well, I think I can remove it in ten one-hour sessions, but I should warn you, laser surgery's very painful.
Ted: Well, I think I you'll find that I have a very high tolerance for pain. Just last night I sat through the worst movie ever made.
Stella: Oh, Plan 9 from Outer Space?
Ted: No...the Worst Movie, Manos Hands of Fate.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Ted's wooing of Stella backfires when he discovers that Abby, her receptionist, likes him]
Robin: [at the bar] Ted, I hate to say this, but I think it's "nail the receptionist" time.
Ted: I'm not gonna nail the receptionist.
Barney: Ted, every little boy wants to grow up to nail the doctor or the lawyer. Somebody's gotta nail the receptionist.
Robin: [at the bar] Ted, I hate to say this, but I think it's "nail the receptionist" time.
Ted: I'm not gonna nail the receptionist.
Barney: Ted, every little boy wants to grow up to nail the doctor or the lawyer. Somebody's gotta nail the receptionist.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves.
Robin: Of course there are.
Barney: Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.
Lily: You can not be more evil.
Barney: Sorry five. Recently widowed.
Robin: Of course there are.
Barney: Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.
Lily: You can not be more evil.
Barney: Sorry five. Recently widowed.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: Hey! I don't remember you. I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've slept with and all of the horrible things that I have done to them- and I have done some horrible things. I mean, at one point I'm pretty sure I sold a woman. I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hand, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there. I am the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her. So, from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, I apologize.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Ted: Gee, is that ice cream cone big enough?
Robin: Uhhh, it's delicious enough.
Robin: Uhhh, it's delicious enough.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: Shotgun for eternity!
Robin: You can't call shotgun for eternity.
Barney: I just called it.
Robin: You can't just call things!
Barney: I call that I can call things!
Robin: You can't call shotgun for eternity.
Barney: I just called it.
Robin: You can't just call things!
Barney: I call that I can call things!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Robin: I wanted to be sixteen again.
Barney: Robin, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. You're the most awesome person I've ever met. Well, second.
Robin: Right, first being you.
Barney: No, actually, it's this guy I know who lives in something called the mirror. What up?
Barney: Robin, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. You're the most awesome person I've ever met. Well, second.
Robin: Right, first being you.
Barney: No, actually, it's this guy I know who lives in something called the mirror. What up?
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Robin and Barney just had sex]
Robin: Okay, here's the deal, Barney; the moment my feet touch the ground this never happened.
Barney: Okay. Wait! [lifts up covers] Right-click, save as, into the b-peg folder and okay! This never happened. It's a good plan.
Robin: Now we go back to exactly the way things were before.
Barney: Okay.
Robin: [whispering] Okay.
Barney: All right... So Robin?
Robin: Yes Barney?
Barney: Guess who nailed the chick from Metro News One last night?
Robin: Okay, here's the deal, Barney; the moment my feet touch the ground this never happened.
Barney: Okay. Wait! [lifts up covers] Right-click, save as, into the b-peg folder and okay! This never happened. It's a good plan.
Robin: Now we go back to exactly the way things were before.
Barney: Okay.
Robin: [whispering] Okay.
Barney: All right... So Robin?
Robin: Yes Barney?
Barney: Guess who nailed the chick from Metro News One last night?
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Ted is furious with Barney over sleeping with Robin and comes to a decision]
Ted: You know what Barney, earlier this week I've been putting some stuff into a box and that box was labeled "Stuff I Have No Use For Anymore."
Barney: What do you mean?
Ted: All I'm saying is, maybe you belong in that box.
Barney: Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore?
Ted: I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore.
Ted: You know what Barney, earlier this week I've been putting some stuff into a box and that box was labeled "Stuff I Have No Use For Anymore."
Barney: What do you mean?
Ted: All I'm saying is, maybe you belong in that box.
Barney: Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore?
Ted: I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Ted and Stella agree to have sex, but both are nervous]
Stella: How long's it been for you?
Ted: It's been a while.
Stella: Tell me. [Ted shows full palm] Me too!
Ted: It's been five months for you, too? [Stella is open-mouthed]
Robin, Lily, and Marshall: [at flat] FIVE YEARS!??!
Stella: How long's it been for you?
Ted: It's been a while.
Stella: Tell me. [Ted shows full palm] Me too!
Ted: It's been five months for you, too? [Stella is open-mouthed]
Robin, Lily, and Marshall: [at flat] FIVE YEARS!??!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: Now remember my three beginner's tips for picking up chicks: address her by name, isolate her from her friends, subtly put her down.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Abby: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Barney: Yes!
Abby: You're thinking about having sex with Ted?
Barney: Yes!
Abby: You're thinking about having sex with Ted?
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Ted and Marshall are at the apartment of the gay couple who bought Lily's painting just for the frame]
Ted: Since you're a clearly man of impeccable taste and style, I want to ask you: what do you think of the boots? [shows red cowboy boots]
Lawrence: Walter. [Walter goes out of bedroom] Boots.
Walter: [looks down at boots] Pulling. Them. Off!
Ted: [to Marshall, smiling] I'll be in the cab.
Ted: Since you're a clearly man of impeccable taste and style, I want to ask you: what do you think of the boots? [shows red cowboy boots]
Lawrence: Walter. [Walter goes out of bedroom] Boots.
Walter: [looks down at boots] Pulling. Them. Off!
Ted: [to Marshall, smiling] I'll be in the cab.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Stella: So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend.
Ted: Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy! Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'. That guy's an idiot.
Stella: Actually, she's marrying him. I just wanted your honest opinion.
Ted: He's actually a really nice guy. There's a wisdom...
Ted: Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy! Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'. That guy's an idiot.
Stella: Actually, she's marrying him. I just wanted your honest opinion.
Ted: He's actually a really nice guy. There's a wisdom...
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: [Who is giving an example of a miracle] July, 1999, Kennedy airport.
[A flashback to March 1997, when Marshall arrives home from Amsterdam and checks into Immigration at JFK]
Guard: Did you enjoy [Looks at Marshall's passport] Amsterdam?
Marshall: [Nervous] No? Nothing illegal. Some paintings...
Guard: Alright Bob Marley. [Takes Marshall's backpack] Let's have a conversation! [another guard enters, coughing and eating a bag of chips.]
Replacement Guard: Shift change! [First guard leaves; new guard looks at Marshall's passport] Amsterdam? Alright! Float on through, brother!
Marshall: [Current day] Miracle!!!!!
[A flashback to March 1997, when Marshall arrives home from Amsterdam and checks into Immigration at JFK]
Guard: Did you enjoy [Looks at Marshall's passport] Amsterdam?
Marshall: [Nervous] No? Nothing illegal. Some paintings...
Guard: Alright Bob Marley. [Takes Marshall's backpack] Let's have a conversation! [another guard enters, coughing and eating a bag of chips.]
Replacement Guard: Shift change! [First guard leaves; new guard looks at Marshall's passport] Amsterdam? Alright! Float on through, brother!
Marshall: [Current day] Miracle!!!!!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Future Ted: Kids, here's something I wish my dad had told me. The longest pause you will ever experience in your life is the one that follows asking the question..
Ted: [to Stella] Will you marry me?
Future Ted: Your brain goes into overdrive, imagining every possible response.
[Flashbacks to every possible response]
Stella: No
[Next response]
Stella: Oh, god no!
[Next response]
Stella: [bursts into laughter] You want me to marry... No.
[Next response]
Stella: Awww I'm sorry Ted, I can't. Mark Johnson, the quarterback from the high school football team, already asked me.
Mark Johnson: What's up turd?
Ted: It's TED!
[Back to present time]
Future Ted: But if you're lucky, she might answer with the single greatest word in the English language...
Stella: Yes.
Ted: [to Stella] Will you marry me?
Future Ted: Your brain goes into overdrive, imagining every possible response.
[Flashbacks to every possible response]
Stella: No
[Next response]
Stella: Oh, god no!
[Next response]
Stella: [bursts into laughter] You want me to marry... No.
[Next response]
Stella: Awww I'm sorry Ted, I can't. Mark Johnson, the quarterback from the high school football team, already asked me.
Mark Johnson: What's up turd?
Ted: It's TED!
[Back to present time]
Future Ted: But if you're lucky, she might answer with the single greatest word in the English language...
Stella: Yes.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Ted: [aboutStar Wars] It's just a movie.
[Cut to Ted and Marshall watching the TV. Subtitle: '121 minutes of awesomeness later']
Ted: Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie I can't marry her.
Marshall: No, you can't.
Ted: Wanna watch it again?
Marshall: Yes, I do.
[Cut to Ted and Marshall watching the TV. Subtitle: '121 minutes of awesomeness later']
Ted: Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie I can't marry her.
Marshall: No, you can't.
Ted: Wanna watch it again?
Marshall: Yes, I do.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Ted: Chinese?
Barney: I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian?
Barney: I just said I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian isn't Chinese.
Barney: Weird meat, funny music, side of rice. Why are we splitting hairs?
Ted: Mexican?
Barney: I just said I don't like Chinese!
Barney: I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian?
Barney: I just said I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian isn't Chinese.
Barney: Weird meat, funny music, side of rice. Why are we splitting hairs?
Ted: Mexican?
Barney: I just said I don't like Chinese!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it’s so much more than "just a burger." I mean…that first bite—oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then... a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a…a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us through food.
Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the internet?
Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the internet?
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Stella: Bruce Springsteen.
Ted: Sinatra.
Stella: Yeah, he's from Hoboken...New Jersey.
Ted: Yeah, but what city is he singing about? It's not Secaucus, Secaucus!
Ted: Sinatra.
Stella: Yeah, he's from Hoboken...New Jersey.
Ted: Yeah, but what city is he singing about? It's not Secaucus, Secaucus!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: I hate New York! I'm sorry, but it's true! Today, I was walking around PriceCo. Have you ever been there? It's huge! All the stores in New York are so cramped! Every time I turn around I knock something over. I'm like some huge monster that came out of the oceans to destroy bodegas! ...I'm too big for New York, okay! I'm always trying to fit into cramped little subway seats, or duck under doorways that were built a hundred and fifty years ago. "Hey, guess what, people are bigger now! Build bigger doorways! What the hell is wrong with you?" ...And it's so loud. All the time. Yes, I know it's the city that never sleeps, but guess what? I like to sleep! I've been tired for eight years! Tired and scared, with black and blue marks on my elbows from trying to fit into all these tiny elf doorways! New Jersey's great! It's got huge stores, and lawns, and you never have to carry a cup again! For the rest of your life! I'm not afraid to say it: I love New Jersey! [sees Lily's face] I'm just kidding.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Barney: [in old man make-up] You there, what's your name?
Woman: Cindy.
Barney: Cindy. I knew it! You're the Cindy, the one that can change everything...or spell our inevitable doom. Now listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson. And I am on an urgent mission from the future.
Woman: The future?
Barney: The future! And I can prove it! In exactly four seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man. [Clears throat loudly]
[Robin slaps Ted; woman is amazed]
Barney: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane...but in order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him. Tonight.
Woman: What?
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson, tonight, in whatever way he wants it...or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race!
Woman: What are you talking about?
Barney: I have no time to explain. I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away!
[Barney returns a few minutes later, looking like himself]
Woman: Oh my God! You're-oh my God! Can I buy you a drink?
Barney: Well, I guess I have time for one drink, and forty-five minutes to an hour of some other activity. But after that I have to get back to, uh, a secret research project I'm working on.
Woman: Global warming?
Barney: My god. How did you know that?
Woman: Cindy.
Barney: Cindy. I knew it! You're the Cindy, the one that can change everything...or spell our inevitable doom. Now listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson. And I am on an urgent mission from the future.
Woman: The future?
Barney: The future! And I can prove it! In exactly four seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man. [Clears throat loudly]
[Robin slaps Ted; woman is amazed]
Barney: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane...but in order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him. Tonight.
Woman: What?
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson, tonight, in whatever way he wants it...or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race!
Woman: What are you talking about?
Barney: I have no time to explain. I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away!
[Barney returns a few minutes later, looking like himself]
Woman: Oh my God! You're-oh my God! Can I buy you a drink?
Barney: Well, I guess I have time for one drink, and forty-five minutes to an hour of some other activity. But after that I have to get back to, uh, a secret research project I'm working on.
Woman: Global warming?
Barney: My god. How did you know that?
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Robin: Wait, whoa, what damage did I cause?
Marshall: Remember that night where you drank the twelver of Molson and got all "Super Canadian"?
[flashback]
Robin: [holding a hockey stick]Stanley Cup. Game six, eh? The Rangers are aboot to be sorry they ever played shinny with the Canucks.
Marshall: Hey hey Robin, I'll give you twenty bucks if you can shoot it through the front door.
Robin: Oh! You're nuttier than a Tim Horton's maple log! Tally Ho! [tries to shoot the puck through the door]
Lily: [grabs the puck] No. That's it, Robin. Gimme the stick!
Robin: I'll give you summer teeth... Some are here, some are there.
Lily: Robin, give me the stick!
Robin: Take off, [shoves Lily] hoser!
Lily: Alright, that's it!
[Robin and Lily begin to fight]
Marshall: Go America!
Ted: Alright, alright! Break it up! BREAK IT UP!
Barney: Te-ed, no! You never break up a girl fight! NEVER!! [punches a hole in the wall and storms out]
Marshall: Remember that night where you drank the twelver of Molson and got all "Super Canadian"?
[flashback]
Robin: [holding a hockey stick]Stanley Cup. Game six, eh? The Rangers are aboot to be sorry they ever played shinny with the Canucks.
Marshall: Hey hey Robin, I'll give you twenty bucks if you can shoot it through the front door.
Robin: Oh! You're nuttier than a Tim Horton's maple log! Tally Ho! [tries to shoot the puck through the door]
Lily: [grabs the puck] No. That's it, Robin. Gimme the stick!
Robin: I'll give you summer teeth... Some are here, some are there.
Lily: Robin, give me the stick!
Robin: Take off, [shoves Lily] hoser!
Lily: Alright, that's it!
[Robin and Lily begin to fight]
Marshall: Go America!
Ted: Alright, alright! Break it up! BREAK IT UP!
Barney: Te-ed, no! You never break up a girl fight! NEVER!! [punches a hole in the wall and storms out]
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: There's no meat.
Lily: There's no alcohol.
Marshall: It gets worse—I am 90% sure that guy you were talking with used to be lead singer of the Spin Doctors.
Lily: There's no alcohol.
Marshall: It gets worse—I am 90% sure that guy you were talking with used to be lead singer of the Spin Doctors.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Robin has reservations about Ted and Stella's wedding, and Ted is not pleased]
Ted: We broke up over a year ago.
Robin: Yeah, but that's not that long ago. Watching you marry another woman isn't exactly something I was looking forward to. I don't know, if I would change my mind about marriage and kids, it was nice to know that you were there.
Ted: So I was your safety school. How flattering.
Robin: That's not it. It's just that, I..
Ted: Why are you bringing any of this up? There's nothing between us anymore.
Robin: Well maybe there is! I mean, of course, there is, that kind of stuff just doesn't disappear without a trace. I'm not just another guest here, Ted.
Ted: Great. We used to date, but we've both moved on and look, we got what we wanted. I'm getting married, you got your dream job in Tokyo, and we live happily ever-
Robin: I quit my job.
Ted: What?
Robin: I'm moving back to New York. I thought I wanted that job, but I want to come back to my real life, and I think you should go back to yours.
Ted: What does that supposed to mean?
Robin: Don't get married. Look you're rushing into this, it's like you're trying to skip ahead to the end of the book. Ted, you're the most romantic guy I know; you stole a blue French horn for me, you tried to make it rain-
Ted: I did make it rain.
Robin: It was a coincidence, but after all that, this is how your great romantic quest comes to an end? You're just disappearing into someone else's wedding, someone else's house, someone else's life without a second thought. That's not the amazing ending that you deserve. That's not Ted Mosby.
Ted: [after long pause] I love Stella, she's the one. You really feel that way, I guess it's a good thing you're not coming to the wedding after all. [storms
Ted: We broke up over a year ago.
Robin: Yeah, but that's not that long ago. Watching you marry another woman isn't exactly something I was looking forward to. I don't know, if I would change my mind about marriage and kids, it was nice to know that you were there.
Ted: So I was your safety school. How flattering.
Robin: That's not it. It's just that, I..
Ted: Why are you bringing any of this up? There's nothing between us anymore.
Robin: Well maybe there is! I mean, of course, there is, that kind of stuff just doesn't disappear without a trace. I'm not just another guest here, Ted.
Ted: Great. We used to date, but we've both moved on and look, we got what we wanted. I'm getting married, you got your dream job in Tokyo, and we live happily ever-
Robin: I quit my job.
Ted: What?
Robin: I'm moving back to New York. I thought I wanted that job, but I want to come back to my real life, and I think you should go back to yours.
Ted: What does that supposed to mean?
Robin: Don't get married. Look you're rushing into this, it's like you're trying to skip ahead to the end of the book. Ted, you're the most romantic guy I know; you stole a blue French horn for me, you tried to make it rain-
Ted: I did make it rain.
Robin: It was a coincidence, but after all that, this is how your great romantic quest comes to an end? You're just disappearing into someone else's wedding, someone else's house, someone else's life without a second thought. That's not the amazing ending that you deserve. That's not Ted Mosby.
Ted: [after long pause] I love Stella, she's the one. You really feel that way, I guess it's a good thing you're not coming to the wedding after all. [storms
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: Stella hated Star Wars! She lied to you. Search your feelings, Ted. You know it to be true!
Ted: Well, that's her business.
Barney: Come on Ted, she left you at the altar! [gang begins arguing until Lily notices the taxi]
Lily: Wa-wait, where's she going? Her cab just missed the turn to the Lincoln Tunnel.
Robin: Why would anybody buy take-out food and take it all the way back to New Jersey, anyway?
Ted: She's going to her office.
Marshall: No. [recounts restaurant order scene] The waiter asked her, "And you need utensils?" She said, "No,I'll just take them straight home."
Ted: And if she's going home, why are we still heading to- oh my God. Tony lives downtown. 'Home' is Tony's apartment. She was gonna make me move to New Jersey, and she's moving into the city WITH TONY?!? Son of a bitch! [Gang cheers him on]
Marshall: Finally, finally, buddy.
Ted: I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!
Marshall: I know, I know, and I love it! [Ted rips off window crank] Yeah, that is awesome! [to taxi driver] Sir, we'd be happy to cover the cost of that window crank! I love angry Ted!
Ted: So do I!
Ted: Well, that's her business.
Barney: Come on Ted, she left you at the altar! [gang begins arguing until Lily notices the taxi]
Lily: Wa-wait, where's she going? Her cab just missed the turn to the Lincoln Tunnel.
Robin: Why would anybody buy take-out food and take it all the way back to New Jersey, anyway?
Ted: She's going to her office.
Marshall: No. [recounts restaurant order scene] The waiter asked her, "And you need utensils?" She said, "No,I'll just take them straight home."
Ted: And if she's going home, why are we still heading to- oh my God. Tony lives downtown. 'Home' is Tony's apartment. She was gonna make me move to New Jersey, and she's moving into the city WITH TONY?!? Son of a bitch! [Gang cheers him on]
Marshall: Finally, finally, buddy.
Ted: I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW!
Marshall: I know, I know, and I love it! [Ted rips off window crank] Yeah, that is awesome! [to taxi driver] Sir, we'd be happy to cover the cost of that window crank! I love angry Ted!
Ted: So do I!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[After Ted fails to deliver his 'cold-blooded' speech to Stella because he just saw Tony and Lucy happily greeting her.]
Future Ted: From that moment I wasn't angry anymore... Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward. And that kids, was the perfect ending to a perfect love story. It just wasn't mine. Mine was still out there, waiting for me.
Future Ted: From that moment I wasn't angry anymore... Kids, you may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward. And that kids, was the perfect ending to a perfect love story. It just wasn't mine. Mine was still out there, waiting for me.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Marshall and Lily are making out on the couch when a pajama-clad Robin sits down and munches ice cream with beer]
Marshall: So Robin, how's the job and apartment search going?
Robin: [sarcastic] Oh you didn't hear? I'm a lead anchor on CNN and I've got a penthouse overlooking Central Park made of gold! Get your head out of your ass, Marshall!
Marshall: So Robin, how's the job and apartment search going?
Robin: [sarcastic] Oh you didn't hear? I'm a lead anchor on CNN and I've got a penthouse overlooking Central Park made of gold! Get your head out of your ass, Marshall!
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother
[Barney just discovered he did not sire a baby with his latest sexual conquest and tells Marshall about it]
Barney: Marshall, great news - I'm not a father.
Marshall: Congratulations, buddy. [Shakes Barney's hand]
Barney: I know, this is the happiest moment of my life! Marshall, the way I feel about not having kids... I never knew I could love something this much. That's why, I'm creating a holiday. From now on, today will be known as "Not A Father's Day"!
Marshall: Wow, you're creating a holiday.
Barney: Why not? Everyone else gets a day - mothers, fathers, Bastille's...why can't there be a day for those who are single and like it that way?
Marshall: Now you just sound like a fat girl at Valentine's Day.
Barney: Marshall, great news - I'm not a father.
Marshall: Congratulations, buddy. [Shakes Barney's hand]
Barney: I know, this is the happiest moment of my life! Marshall, the way I feel about not having kids... I never knew I could love something this much. That's why, I'm creating a holiday. From now on, today will be known as "Not A Father's Day"!
Marshall: Wow, you're creating a holiday.
Barney: Why not? Everyone else gets a day - mothers, fathers, Bastille's...why can't there be a day for those who are single and like it that way?
Marshall: Now you just sound like a fat girl at Valentine's Day.
TV Show: How I Met Your Mother