Identity Thief Quotes
Julian: [having just been shot]You know what, you're crazy!
Skiptracer: Yep. Diagnosed and everything.
Skiptracer: Yep. Diagnosed and everything.
Movie: Identity Thief
Bartender: These aren't your friends. They like you because you're buying them drinks. People like you don't have friends.
Movie: Identity Thief
Sandy Patterson: I said no jewelry.
Diana: Oh, were you serious?
Sandy Patterson: Yeah.
Diana: You've got to work on your tone.
Diana: Oh, were you serious?
Sandy Patterson: Yeah.
Diana: You've got to work on your tone.
Movie: Identity Thief
Sandy Patterson: You're diabolical.
Diana: Thank you.
Sandy Patterson: That's not a compliment.
Diana: I know.
Diana: Thank you.
Sandy Patterson: That's not a compliment.
Diana: I know.
Movie: Identity Thief
Sandy Patterson: Now, I have allotted us each $8 per meal, so it looks like you can get one of the... [gets attention from the Waitress]
Sandy Patterson: One of the salads or a soup or... [to the waitress]
Sandy Patterson: Sorry, I'm quick. The tomato soup for me, please. That'll do.
Diana: I'm gonna take a full slab of the baby backs, and I'm going to take that with mashed taters, hushpuppies, and I'm going get a... I'm going to have sweet tea.
Sandy Patterson: The fuck you are.
Diana: [chuckles]I don't know what that means.
Sandy Patterson: I asked you to eat less food.
Sandy Patterson: One of the salads or a soup or... [to the waitress]
Sandy Patterson: Sorry, I'm quick. The tomato soup for me, please. That'll do.
Diana: I'm gonna take a full slab of the baby backs, and I'm going to take that with mashed taters, hushpuppies, and I'm going get a... I'm going to have sweet tea.
Sandy Patterson: The fuck you are.
Diana: [chuckles]I don't know what that means.
Sandy Patterson: I asked you to eat less food.
Movie: Identity Thief
Diana: [In front of Sandy and Trish's preschool-aged daughters, during visitation]Some of these dykes are still really getting up into my sweet junk, but I don't let 'em.
Trish Patterson: Um, girls, s-sweet junk is just...
Sandy Patterson: ...dessert. She's having a problem in the mess hall.
Trish Patterson: Um, girls, s-sweet junk is just...
Sandy Patterson: ...dessert. She's having a problem in the mess hall.
Movie: Identity Thief
Sandy Patterson: Hi. Good morning. Something wrong with pump five. It's not taking my card. [Luis swipes card]
Sandy Patterson: Thanks.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: [Speaks Spanish to hearing device and then turns to Sandy]You don't pay your bills, man. I gotta cut the card.
Sandy Patterson: Cut the card. No, I absolutely pay my bills. Run it one more time. Nothing wrong with that card.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: That's not what it says right here.
Sandy Patterson: I don't care what the screen says. Maybe it's broken. I'll go somewhere else. You're not cutting that card. [Luis speaks Spanish once more]
Sandy Patterson: Cutting the card? That's ridiculous. Tell you what, I'll go somewhere else.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: You go somewhere else? Look, that's my papi. He owns this store. He says cut the card.
Sandy Patterson: Se±or...
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: If you don't pay your bills...
Sandy Patterson: My bills are paid.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: Oh, your bills are paid. I gotta cut the card.
Sandy Patterson: Do not cut the card.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: I'm gonna cut the card. [he cuts the card]
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: I just cut the card. Go pay your bills, Randy.
Sandy Patterson: It's Sandy.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: Sandy? [mocks in Spanish]
Sandy Patterson: Thanks.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: [Speaks Spanish to hearing device and then turns to Sandy]You don't pay your bills, man. I gotta cut the card.
Sandy Patterson: Cut the card. No, I absolutely pay my bills. Run it one more time. Nothing wrong with that card.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: That's not what it says right here.
Sandy Patterson: I don't care what the screen says. Maybe it's broken. I'll go somewhere else. You're not cutting that card. [Luis speaks Spanish once more]
Sandy Patterson: Cutting the card? That's ridiculous. Tell you what, I'll go somewhere else.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: You go somewhere else? Look, that's my papi. He owns this store. He says cut the card.
Sandy Patterson: Se±or...
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: If you don't pay your bills...
Sandy Patterson: My bills are paid.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: Oh, your bills are paid. I gotta cut the card.
Sandy Patterson: Do not cut the card.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: I'm gonna cut the card. [he cuts the card]
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: I just cut the card. Go pay your bills, Randy.
Sandy Patterson: It's Sandy.
Luis the Gas Station Attendant: Sandy? [mocks in Spanish]
Movie: Identity Thief