Invader Zim Quotes
Eric: The Chicky meal! It comes with a dirty chicken toy! The head comes off and can be used like a little grappling hook.
Dib: That's a...weird thing for a chicken to do.
Dib: That's a...weird thing for a chicken to do.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Customer: [angrily, with a bowl of coleslaw right in front of him] I want my slaw!
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.
Customer: [angrily] I want my slaw!
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.
Customer: [angrily]I want my slaw!!!
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.
Customer: [angrily] I want my slaw!
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.
Customer: [angrily]I want my slaw!!!
Eric: You have your slaw, sir.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Reporter 1: You mean Chickenfoot was a fraud all along?
Dib: This just proves that paranormal studies isn't a bunch of crazies believing in anything! We also disprove the frauds!
Reporter 2: I'll bet this means Bigfoot is a fraud too!
Reporter 1: And UFOs!
Reporter 2: And hobos!
Dib: No wait! Those are real! Except the hobos. Wait, no. They're real. I...I guess. But- what's wrong with you people?!
Dib: This just proves that paranormal studies isn't a bunch of crazies believing in anything! We also disprove the frauds!
Reporter 2: I'll bet this means Bigfoot is a fraud too!
Reporter 1: And UFOs!
Reporter 2: And hobos!
Dib: No wait! Those are real! Except the hobos. Wait, no. They're real. I...I guess. But- what's wrong with you people?!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Dib: You're just going to blow us all up? This is stupid! This is stupid, stupid!
TV Show: Invader Zim
[The Tallest are examining the Megadoomer]
Tallest Red: The Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech!
Tallest Purple: I don't like it.
Tallest Red: We didn't build it so you could like it. This one's going to Planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it.
Tallest Purple: Well, I should like it.
[They move on to a room full of malfunctioning SIR units]
Tallest Purple: Malfunctioning SIR Units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these things could really get hurt! [pauses] Send them all to Zim.
Tallest Red: [gasps] But they'll destroy him!
[Both laugh uproariously]
Tallest Purple: Ah, let's go eat.
Tallest Red: The Megadoomer Combat Stealth Mech!
Tallest Purple: I don't like it.
Tallest Red: We didn't build it so you could like it. This one's going to Planet Meekrob to help Invader Tenn conquer it.
Tallest Purple: Well, I should like it.
[They move on to a room full of malfunctioning SIR units]
Tallest Purple: Malfunctioning SIR Units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these things could really get hurt! [pauses] Send them all to Zim.
Tallest Red: [gasps] But they'll destroy him!
[Both laugh uproariously]
Tallest Purple: Ah, let's go eat.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: And then, THEN, Dib says, "RAR!" in front of the whole class! Filthy slug. Mrs. Bitters called on ME, understand? Filthy squirmy Dib! SQUIRMY!
Kid: What are you talking about? Who are you?
Zim: I can't believe the things that H-H-HUMAN has done to me. ME! [makes angry noises] DIB! [more angry noises]
Kid: Why are you following me? I don't even go to your school!
Zim: And the- OH! He makes me so mad! The horrible puny brain meat child. With his little glasses and his [angry noises] HEAD!
Kid: [runs into house and shuts door]
Zim: My name is Dib with my pointy hair. POINTY HAIR! I eat food and have stuff!
Kid: What are you talking about? Who are you?
Zim: I can't believe the things that H-H-HUMAN has done to me. ME! [makes angry noises] DIB! [more angry noises]
Kid: Why are you following me? I don't even go to your school!
Zim: And the- OH! He makes me so mad! The horrible puny brain meat child. With his little glasses and his [angry noises] HEAD!
Kid: [runs into house and shuts door]
Zim: My name is Dib with my pointy hair. POINTY HAIR! I eat food and have stuff!
TV Show: Invader Zim
GIR: [gasps] It's got chicken legs!
Zim: Yes...chicken legs. It also possesses a new generation distortion cloaking system. You know what that means?
GIR: Oooh... [flips out then stops]
Zim: That means it turns invisible!
GIR: I had no idea.
Zim: Yes...chicken legs. It also possesses a new generation distortion cloaking system. You know what that means?
GIR: Oooh... [flips out then stops]
Zim: That means it turns invisible!
GIR: I had no idea.
TV Show: Invader Zim
GIR: CHICKEN! [giggles] I'm gonna eat you!
Dib: Wow! [starts taking pictures of the Megadoomer] Crop Circle Magazine is gonna put me on the front cover for sure! Someone take a picture of me with it. [pauses, then hands the camera to GIR, who begins taking multiple pictures of Dib]
GIR: Aww you. You look so cute.
Dib: Wow! [starts taking pictures of the Megadoomer] Crop Circle Magazine is gonna put me on the front cover for sure! Someone take a picture of me with it. [pauses, then hands the camera to GIR, who begins taking multiple pictures of Dib]
GIR: Aww you. You look so cute.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: I've put up with you long enough, Dib! Now fight an enemy you cannot see!
Dib: ...You're right there.
[Zim gasps, then scoots over. Dib points at him again]
Dib: There! Your mighty Irken cloaking device cloaks the robot, but not you.
Zim: LIES! Now behold the doom cannon!
Dib: I can't. It's invisible.
Zim: But you can see me?
Dib: That's what I said.
Zim: Oh, that's STUPID!
Dib: Really stupid.
Zim: You dare agree with me? Prepare to meet your horrible doom!
Dib: ...You're right there.
[Zim gasps, then scoots over. Dib points at him again]
Dib: There! Your mighty Irken cloaking device cloaks the robot, but not you.
Zim: LIES! Now behold the doom cannon!
Dib: I can't. It's invisible.
Zim: But you can see me?
Dib: That's what I said.
Zim: Oh, that's STUPID!
Dib: Really stupid.
Zim: You dare agree with me? Prepare to meet your horrible doom!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Delouser: Level 1 infestation, ma'am.
Countess von Verminstrassor: A level 1... I am Countess von Verminstrassor, the Delouser! For your own good, you will cooperate! You have lice, and until your condition improves, you will be detained here indefinitely!
Dib: You can't really make us stay here...
Countess von Verminstrassor: You dare question me, question my methods?! You, who stands to benefit the most from my work?! You disgust me!
Ms. Bitters: What a nice lady.
Dib: All I said was-
Countess von Verminstrassor: Silence! Let the delousing begin!
Countess von Verminstrassor: A level 1... I am Countess von Verminstrassor, the Delouser! For your own good, you will cooperate! You have lice, and until your condition improves, you will be detained here indefinitely!
Dib: You can't really make us stay here...
Countess von Verminstrassor: You dare question me, question my methods?! You, who stands to benefit the most from my work?! You disgust me!
Ms. Bitters: What a nice lady.
Dib: All I said was-
Countess von Verminstrassor: Silence! Let the delousing begin!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: [to Tak] I have accepted your choice to make me your 'love-pig'..... FEEL HONORED! Prepare yourself, filthy beast of meat and hair. Your magical love adventure begins NOW!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Tak: [reading her poem to Zim] For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you. Someone with a head like yours and a torso too. Birds sing AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY! The end! HERE'S SOME MEAT COVERED IN BARBECUE SAUCE! [pulls a giant slab of ribs covered in bbq sauce and throws it at Zim]
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: TAK! I'm glad you've stopped by, It gives me a chance to end our hideous relationship, and enjoy your shrill cry having been rejected by ZIM!!!!
Tak: You've got to be kidding!
Zim: I assure you I am quiet serious. Now cry! Cry like you've never cried.... before!
Tak: You've got to be kidding!
Zim: I assure you I am quiet serious. Now cry! Cry like you've never cried.... before!
TV Show: Invader Zim
[After Tak finishes explaining her past]
Zim: Yes, yes, so you blame me for your horrible life, blah, blah, blah, BIG DEAL!
Tak: This is about taking your mission, Zim, not revenge!
Zim: You're after revenge?!
Tak: NOOOOOO! It's not about revenge! It's about taking what's rightfully mine. I should have been an invader! I should have been part of the Great Assigning! I shouldn't HAVE to be stealing THIS planet from YOU!
Zim: [pause] YOU'RE AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!!
Tak: NOOOOOOO!!!! Listen to me. Listen...carefully!
Zim: Hm? Hm? Hmmmmmm?
Tak: I'm a better invader than you could ever be. I blend in perfectly. The plan I have in store for this nasty rock will so impress the Tallest that they'll have no choice but to make me an invader.
Zim: WHAT IS THIS-- [lowers his tone] And what is this plan?
Tak: [laughs softly]
Zim: Yeah, yeah, I'm a master of comedy. Now tell me this plan!
Tak: Part One involves crippling your base, so that you could only watch... AS I RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!!
[She unleashes nanites that consume Zim's base]
Zim: [horrified] MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!!
Tak: Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: [irritated] Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Part--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Okay, I'm--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Okay, I'm leaving now.
Zim: [calmly] But you didn't tell me your plan.
Zim: Yes, yes, so you blame me for your horrible life, blah, blah, blah, BIG DEAL!
Tak: This is about taking your mission, Zim, not revenge!
Zim: You're after revenge?!
Tak: NOOOOOO! It's not about revenge! It's about taking what's rightfully mine. I should have been an invader! I should have been part of the Great Assigning! I shouldn't HAVE to be stealing THIS planet from YOU!
Zim: [pause] YOU'RE AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!!
Tak: NOOOOOOO!!!! Listen to me. Listen...carefully!
Zim: Hm? Hm? Hmmmmmm?
Tak: I'm a better invader than you could ever be. I blend in perfectly. The plan I have in store for this nasty rock will so impress the Tallest that they'll have no choice but to make me an invader.
Zim: WHAT IS THIS-- [lowers his tone] And what is this plan?
Tak: [laughs softly]
Zim: Yeah, yeah, I'm a master of comedy. Now tell me this plan!
Tak: Part One involves crippling your base, so that you could only watch... AS I RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!!
[She unleashes nanites that consume Zim's base]
Zim: [horrified] MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!!
Tak: Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: [irritated] Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO, MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Part Two is--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Part--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Okay, I'm--
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Tak: Okay, I'm leaving now.
Zim: [calmly] But you didn't tell me your plan.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Tak: The great thing about your people, Dib, is that most of them don't notice. All they see is another faceless corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest!
Dib: Wait. Is there really a difference?
[Zim busts through the wall with the Voot Runner]
Zim: It's over, Tak! The earth is mine to devastate! And I've already promised the moon to GIR!
Dib: Zim! How did you know we'd be here?
Zim: I placed a tracking device on you!
Dib: Tracking device? Where?
[Dib turns around to reveal GIR clinging to his head]
GIR: Your head smells like a puppy!
Dib: Wait. Is there really a difference?
[Zim busts through the wall with the Voot Runner]
Zim: It's over, Tak! The earth is mine to devastate! And I've already promised the moon to GIR!
Dib: Zim! How did you know we'd be here?
Zim: I placed a tracking device on you!
Dib: Tracking device? Where?
[Dib turns around to reveal GIR clinging to his head]
GIR: Your head smells like a puppy!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Gaz: Are there any video games around here?
Zim's Computer: No. Not really.
Gaz: I guess I'll help save the earth, then.
Zim's Computer: No. Not really.
Gaz: I guess I'll help save the earth, then.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: Once I have tainted the human's meat supply with filth, the planet will be ripe for the taking. Soon the name of Invader Zim will be synonymous with... DOOKIE! GIR! Bring me cows.
GIR: [in duty mode] Yes sir! [out of duty mode] I like dookie!
Zim: [voiceover] Sometimes I'm scared to think of what goes on in that insane head of yours...
[In GIR's mind, the cows on the field turn into hot dogs wearing tuxedos and top-hats]
Dapper Weenies: [in GIR's mind] Dance with us, GIR! Dance with us into oblivion!
GIR: [in duty mode] Yes sir! [out of duty mode] I like dookie!
Zim: [voiceover] Sometimes I'm scared to think of what goes on in that insane head of yours...
[In GIR's mind, the cows on the field turn into hot dogs wearing tuxedos and top-hats]
Dapper Weenies: [in GIR's mind] Dance with us, GIR! Dance with us into oblivion!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: GIR! What have you done?! This isn't information retrieval! Are you insane?!
GIR: [in duty mode] I have captured the enemy for meat infesting. Praise me! Praise meeeee!!
GIR: [in duty mode] I have captured the enemy for meat infesting. Praise me! Praise meeeee!!
TV Show: Invader Zim
GIR: [in duty mode] The knowledge, it fills me. It is neat.
Zim: GIR! You've drained enough humans today!
GIR: [in duty mode] Data canister is not yet full!
Zim: I command you to get out of here before we're noticed...some more.
Zim: GIR! You've drained enough humans today!
GIR: [in duty mode] Data canister is not yet full!
Zim: I command you to get out of here before we're noticed...some more.
TV Show: Invader Zim
GIR: [in duty mode] Your methods are stupid! Your progress has been stupid! Your intelligence is STUPID!
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Zim turns a dial, resetting GIR back to normal as he falls to the ground face first]
GIR: [out of duty mode] Hi Floor, make me a sammich!
Zim: That's better, I guess...
GIR: [out of duty mode] Hi Floor, make me a sammich!
Zim: That's better, I guess...
TV Show: Invader Zim
Zim: [eating cafeteria food, gags] It's delicious! It's delicious! I AM NORMAL!!
TV Show: Invader Zim
Dib: Today, things are gonna change. I'm not just gonna sit around and let Zim get away with his... things he do. I mean-
Gaz: [mockingly] "Things he DO"? What's your problem?
Gaz: [mockingly] "Things he DO"? What's your problem?
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Dib throws a muffin at Zim's head]
Zim: What?! WHO?!
Gaz: That... that was horrible.
Zim: [grabs muffin] WHO DID THIS?! Who dares to soil my normal boy head with this... PORK COW?!
Poonchy: That's a stinking muffin!
Zim: SILENCE! Whatever this is, I will find the beast who threw it! I WILL FIND YOU!! Sleep peacefully now, for it is the last peaceful sleep you will know from this moment on!
Classmate: But we're not asleep right now!
[Zim stares at the watching classmates before running away, screaming. Dib snickers.]
Gaz: Actually, that was kinda funny.
Zim: What?! WHO?!
Gaz: That... that was horrible.
Zim: [grabs muffin] WHO DID THIS?! Who dares to soil my normal boy head with this... PORK COW?!
Poonchy: That's a stinking muffin!
Zim: SILENCE! Whatever this is, I will find the beast who threw it! I WILL FIND YOU!! Sleep peacefully now, for it is the last peaceful sleep you will know from this moment on!
Classmate: But we're not asleep right now!
[Zim stares at the watching classmates before running away, screaming. Dib snickers.]
Gaz: Actually, that was kinda funny.
TV Show: Invader Zim
[Dib is asleep in bed. Two aliens fly in and wake him up. They transform into shoes]
Dib: What?! What's happening?! Who...what are you, and why did you transform into giant shoes?
Meekrob: We are beings of pure energy. This is merely a form your human brain can understand.
Dib: But you just looked like aliens before you turned into shoes.
Meekrob: Hmmm. Yes, but you couldn't comprehend that.
Dib: Yes, I could.
Dib: What?! What's happening?! Who...what are you, and why did you transform into giant shoes?
Meekrob: We are beings of pure energy. This is merely a form your human brain can understand.
Dib: But you just looked like aliens before you turned into shoes.
Meekrob: Hmmm. Yes, but you couldn't comprehend that.
Dib: Yes, I could.
TV Show: Invader Zim
Dib: Why did you choose me?
Meekrob: You're the worthiest, Dib. And no one else had a head large enough to accommodate such power.
Meekrob: You're the worthiest, Dib. And no one else had a head large enough to accommodate such power.
TV Show: Invader Zim