Jack of All Trades Quotes
Captain Brogard: [he and the Dragoon with sword points at each others throats] In chess, this is what we call a stalemate.
Daring Dragoon: Yeah, in Parcheesi this is what *we* call a... come to think of it, there's no such thing as a tie in Parcheesi.
Captain Brogard: What does that have to do with anything?
Daring Dragoon: Well, *you* brought up the games. I'm just making conversation.
Captain Brogard: Then I have a proposition for you. Let us agree to live one more day.
Daring Dragoon: Fine by me. Oh, captain, don't look now, but your barn door's open and your cows are getting out. [Brogard looks down, the Dragoon vanishes with an evil laugh]
Daring Dragoon: Yeah, in Parcheesi this is what *we* call a... come to think of it, there's no such thing as a tie in Parcheesi.
Captain Brogard: What does that have to do with anything?
Daring Dragoon: Well, *you* brought up the games. I'm just making conversation.
Captain Brogard: Then I have a proposition for you. Let us agree to live one more day.
Daring Dragoon: Fine by me. Oh, captain, don't look now, but your barn door's open and your cows are getting out. [Brogard looks down, the Dragoon vanishes with an evil laugh]
Movie: Jack of All Trades
Jack Stiles: Why am I doing all the work while you sit there drinking tea?
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Because tea time happens to be a time honored British tradition. When it's burger time I'll pedal.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Because tea time happens to be a time honored British tradition. When it's burger time I'll pedal.
Movie: Jack of All Trades
Kentucky Sue: She always go on like that?
Jack Stiles: Only when she's not yelling at me.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Excuse me, I do not yell. I chastise.
Kentucky Sue: Too bad. I've never been one for chastity.
Jack Stiles: Yeah, you got that right, baby. Hey, you remember in Valley Forge when we melted that snow?
Kentucky Sue: You were some Minuteman.
Jack Stiles: Minuteman? What are you talking about, baby? I was a five-minute man at least.
Jack Stiles: Only when she's not yelling at me.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Excuse me, I do not yell. I chastise.
Kentucky Sue: Too bad. I've never been one for chastity.
Jack Stiles: Yeah, you got that right, baby. Hey, you remember in Valley Forge when we melted that snow?
Kentucky Sue: You were some Minuteman.
Jack Stiles: Minuteman? What are you talking about, baby? I was a five-minute man at least.
Movie: Jack of All Trades
Monsieur Martin: I have a - how shall we say - a condition which requires me to wear special undergarments.
Jack Stiles: [sotto voce, to Emilia] A Jacques-strap, no doubt.
Jack Stiles: [sotto voce, to Emilia] A Jacques-strap, no doubt.
Movie: Jack of All Trades
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Ten of your American dollars says God is a woman.
Jack Stiles: Which explains why nothing we do ever pleases Her.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: And also explains why we're no longer covered in fur and hunting our neighbors for sport.
Jack Stiles: Next you'll tell me God's British.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: I'm trying to break you in slowly, Jack.
Jack Stiles: Which explains why nothing we do ever pleases Her.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: And also explains why we're no longer covered in fur and hunting our neighbors for sport.
Jack Stiles: Next you'll tell me God's British.
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: I'm trying to break you in slowly, Jack.
Movie: Jack of All Trades
Jack Stiles: [after crashing through a stone wall] I would have knocked, but my fists had other plans.
TV Show: Jack of All Trades
Jack Stiles: It's a beautiful day, and the scent of violence is in the air.
TV Show: Jack of All Trades
Jack Stiles: Why am I doing all the work while you sit there drinking tea?
Mrs. Emilia Smythe Rothschild: Because tea time happens to be a time honored British tradition. When it's burger time I'll pedal.
TV Show: Jack of All Trades
Dr. Benjamin Franklin: In the name of Democracy, I demand that you let me go!
Blackbeard the Pirate: Shut up, Piggy!
Dr. Benjamin Franklin: How about giving me a six-course meal and a washmaiden instead?
TV Show: Jack of All Trades
Thomas Jefferson: Jack, if you don't keep your hands off my niece, I'll have George Washington cut off your cherry tree.
Jack Stiles: [thinking] Good thing I don't have a cherry tree!
TV Show: Jack of All Trades