JAG Quotes
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Commander, you gave it your best and came up short. When you grasp for straws like that letter, maybe its time to punch out.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Punching out is the last thing a pilot ever wants to do. People think you get in trouble, pull the magic handle, and float safely to the ground? Every time you punch out you end up an inch shorter.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: No problem, Commander, you've got a few inches to spare.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Punching out is the last thing a pilot ever wants to do. People think you get in trouble, pull the magic handle, and float safely to the ground? Every time you punch out you end up an inch shorter.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: No problem, Commander, you've got a few inches to spare.
TV Show: JAG
Chief Herradin: Takes a big man to admit he's wrong, Commander.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I don't know about being a big man. But I was wrong.
Chief Herradin: You're damn right you were wrong. My son died for his country. You tried to take that away from me.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: He didn't die for his country, Chief. He died for you.
Chief Herradin: (chuckles) What's that supposed to mean?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Your son was HIV positive.
Chief Herradin: What?
Harm: And he couldn't admit that to you. Or that he was a homosexual. So rather than face you, he stood up into Chief Connors' line of fire.
Chief Herradin: (disbelieving look)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Congratulations on your son's Navy cross, Chief.
(throws his entire glass of beer in Chief Herradin's face)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (cont'd): You earned it.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I don't know about being a big man. But I was wrong.
Chief Herradin: You're damn right you were wrong. My son died for his country. You tried to take that away from me.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: He didn't die for his country, Chief. He died for you.
Chief Herradin: (chuckles) What's that supposed to mean?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Your son was HIV positive.
Chief Herradin: What?
Harm: And he couldn't admit that to you. Or that he was a homosexual. So rather than face you, he stood up into Chief Connors' line of fire.
Chief Herradin: (disbelieving look)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Congratulations on your son's Navy cross, Chief.
(throws his entire glass of beer in Chief Herradin's face)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (cont'd): You earned it.
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Cute does not work on me, Harm.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I wasn't being cute. I was being funny.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, like the way you fired that H&K in court?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I thought it was pretty funny when you ducked under the table.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm a Marine, Harm. Marines don't duck.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do Marines do?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: They take cover, but they never duck.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I wasn't being cute. I was being funny.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, like the way you fired that H&K in court?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I thought it was pretty funny when you ducked under the table.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I'm a Marine, Harm. Marines don't duck.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do Marines do?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: They take cover, but they never duck.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Elizabeth 'Skates' Hawkes: For a woman to be 'one of the guys', sometimes she has to be willing to give up somethings of herself. You know, be less of a woman. Sometimes it sucks.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: So the question is, why should she have to be 'one of the guys'?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: So the question is, why should she have to be 'one of the guys'?
TV Show: JAG
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: You look nice. Uh, I'm sorry, I did not mean that.
Ens. Harriet Sims: So you don't think I look nice?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Well, I just don't know if it was appropriate to say. I outrank you, and I may have inadvertently uttered a yellow-light remark.
Ens. Harriet Sims: You have an ulterior motive, Lieutenant?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No! I don't think I do.
Ens. Harriet Sims: Then I'll choose to believe you were sincere.
Ens. Harriet Sims: So you don't think I look nice?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Well, I just don't know if it was appropriate to say. I outrank you, and I may have inadvertently uttered a yellow-light remark.
Ens. Harriet Sims: You have an ulterior motive, Lieutenant?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No! I don't think I do.
Ens. Harriet Sims: Then I'll choose to believe you were sincere.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You grounded Lieutenant Isaacs after a substandard landing. The LSO log indicates: OSCB, EGAR, DNKH.
Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): That's correct.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Can you tell me what those initials stand for, sir?
Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): OSCB, Over Shot Came Back. EGAR, Eased Gun At Ramp.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What about, uh... DNKH?
Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): Well, that's the technical one, Major. Damn Near Killed Herself.
Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): That's correct.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Can you tell me what those initials stand for, sir?
Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): OSCB, Over Shot Came Back. EGAR, Eased Gun At Ramp.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What about, uh... DNKH?
Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): Well, that's the technical one, Major. Damn Near Killed Herself.
TV Show: JAG
Capt. Thomas Boone (CAG): (re: carrier aviation) You miss it?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sometimes. Never at night.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sometimes. Never at night.
TV Show: JAG
Ens. Harriet Sims: I want you to kiss me.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Green light?
(they kiss)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (watching from a distance) I just had a scary thought.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Their children?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Green light?
(they kiss)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (watching from a distance) I just had a scary thought.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Their children?
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I though you said this Barnes was a ghost.
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Well, Major, I guess that makes you two ghostbusters.
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Well, Major, I guess that makes you two ghostbusters.
TV Show: JAG
Barkeep: This clientele consists solely of self-declared degenerates.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Any IRA?
Barkeep: No. Just your regular thieving bastards. We're not political.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Any IRA?
Barkeep: No. Just your regular thieving bastards. We're not political.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Linda Nivens: No, I'm coming with you.
Lorcan Barnes: I'm afraid I can't have that.
Lt. Linda Nivens: (re: Commander Rabb) You're taking him.
Lorcan Barnes: He's insurance. I don't look at you in the same way. No offense.
Lt. Linda Nivens: He's my son, too, Lorcan.
Lorcan Barnes: Aye, and he'll need a parent left to raise him. (kisses her) God be with ye, my love.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'll get him back, Lieutenant.
Lt. Linda Nivens: Bring them both back, sir.
Lorcan Barnes: I'm afraid I can't have that.
Lt. Linda Nivens: (re: Commander Rabb) You're taking him.
Lorcan Barnes: He's insurance. I don't look at you in the same way. No offense.
Lt. Linda Nivens: He's my son, too, Lorcan.
Lorcan Barnes: Aye, and he'll need a parent left to raise him. (kisses her) God be with ye, my love.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'll get him back, Lieutenant.
Lt. Linda Nivens: Bring them both back, sir.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Is all of it? Necessary? The violence?
Lorcan Barnes: Only legitimate targets.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Still, there are always alternatives to killing.
Lorcan Barnes: Well, you can afford such civility, can't ye? You have your liberty. Spilt a fair share of British blood for it, too, if I recall.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: It was a different time, different place.
Lorcan Barnes: Different war. And what the hell do you think this is?
Lorcan Barnes: Only legitimate targets.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Still, there are always alternatives to killing.
Lorcan Barnes: Well, you can afford such civility, can't ye? You have your liberty. Spilt a fair share of British blood for it, too, if I recall.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: It was a different time, different place.
Lorcan Barnes: Different war. And what the hell do you think this is?
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: So you abducted him, coerced him into drinking alcohol, and then forced him into the trunk of a car.
Midshipman Danvers: Yes, sir.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: At any point did you try to revive him?
Midshipman Danvers: Yes ma'am, we tried to get him on his feet and walking, but he had stopped breathing. Malcolm - Midshipman Holmes - even tried mouth-to-mouth resecitatation.
(Bud and Mac laugh)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Can I see you outside a moment, Major? You too, Lieutenant.
(they leave the office)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You think this funny?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No, sir.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Come on, Harm, you've got to admit…
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Bill is dead, Mac! They killed him!
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harm, he's a goat.
Midshipman Danvers: Yes, sir.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: At any point did you try to revive him?
Midshipman Danvers: Yes ma'am, we tried to get him on his feet and walking, but he had stopped breathing. Malcolm - Midshipman Holmes - even tried mouth-to-mouth resecitatation.
(Bud and Mac laugh)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Can I see you outside a moment, Major? You too, Lieutenant.
(they leave the office)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You think this funny?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No, sir.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Come on, Harm, you've got to admit…
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Bill is dead, Mac! They killed him!
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Harm, he's a goat.
TV Show: JAG
Laura Delaney: Is it unreasonable to think that love should rank above some stoic warrior ethic?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He probably just wants to protect you, ma'am.
Laura Delaney: I don't want protection. I want to share things. He has no right to shut me out.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's not his fault, ma'am it's what he's been trained to do. But the Admiral is smart, and smart people can be retrained.
Laura Delaney: Even the old ones?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: (smiles) I have no opinion about that, ma'am.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He probably just wants to protect you, ma'am.
Laura Delaney: I don't want protection. I want to share things. He has no right to shut me out.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's not his fault, ma'am it's what he's been trained to do. But the Admiral is smart, and smart people can be retrained.
Laura Delaney: Even the old ones?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: (smiles) I have no opinion about that, ma'am.
TV Show: JAG
P.O. Jason Tiner: (re: Osbourne) Sorry sir, he got passed me. Should I call security?
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: No. I might order them to shoot him.
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: No. I might order them to shoot him.
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes, please.
FBI Analyst: Well, that's nice. No one around here says please or thank you.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, thank you's my favorite word.
FBI Analyst: Yes is mine.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: That depends on the question
FBI Analyst: Dinner. At Indigo's on Wisconsin Saturday night. Yes?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes.
FBI Analyst: Well, that's nice. No one around here says please or thank you.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, thank you's my favorite word.
FBI Analyst: Yes is mine.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: That depends on the question
FBI Analyst: Dinner. At Indigo's on Wisconsin Saturday night. Yes?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes.
TV Show: JAG
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Try out my chair, commander, my guess is it's going to be yours in a couple years. (Harm hesitates) Go ahead, Rabb, it's not gonna turn you into a growling old salt, you'd have to grow a couple stars for that.
TV Show: JAG
Marine: Tell the lieutenant.
Seaman Angel Munoz: What?
Marine: When were you born?
Seaman Angel Munoz: August 17.
Marine: 1980. What does that make him, sir?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: A Leo.
Marine: Sixteen, sir.
Seaman Angel Munoz: What?
Marine: When were you born?
Seaman Angel Munoz: August 17.
Marine: 1980. What does that make him, sir?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: A Leo.
Marine: Sixteen, sir.
TV Show: JAG
Seaman Angel Munoz: He's not answering. He's either not at home, in the shower, having sex, or dead. Or a combination.
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I can't out run them, Harm. You go.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Like that's really gonna happen.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Like that's really gonna happen.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Come on, let's go.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I can't. I'm sorry. I can't.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do you mean you can't? You're a Marine! Come on, Mac, what happened to that gung-ho, Semper Fi, kick-ass jarhead I used to know? Don't let me down now, Mac, we've made it this far. Damn it. This is precisely why we shouldn't allow women in combat. 'Cause when it come to the clinch you know they're gonna fall apart. If you were a real Marine-
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: All right, already, shut up! You've made your point. (gets to her feet, struggles up the hill)
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I can't. I'm sorry. I can't.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do you mean you can't? You're a Marine! Come on, Mac, what happened to that gung-ho, Semper Fi, kick-ass jarhead I used to know? Don't let me down now, Mac, we've made it this far. Damn it. This is precisely why we shouldn't allow women in combat. 'Cause when it come to the clinch you know they're gonna fall apart. If you were a real Marine-
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: All right, already, shut up! You've made your point. (gets to her feet, struggles up the hill)
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What happened to Sarah?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Nothing. She lives in Bellville, Pennsylvania.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You still love her?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'm wild about her. She's my grandmother.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Nothing. She lives in Bellville, Pennsylvania.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You still love her?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I'm wild about her. She's my grandmother.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Do I have a say in this, sir?
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Not if you're smart.
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden: Not if you're smart.
TV Show: JAG
Princess Alexandra: Commander, you're a pleasant surprise.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And how is that, your highness?
Princess Alexandra: Well, usually Minister Kepish arranges for someone much older and quite unattractive.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And how is that, your highness?
Princess Alexandra: Well, usually Minister Kepish arranges for someone much older and quite unattractive.
TV Show: JAG
(after the Princess kisses Harm)
Minister Kepish: That really isn't a very good idea.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I thought it was a damn good idea. Too bad I didn't think of it.
Minister Kepish: That really isn't a very good idea.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I thought it was a damn good idea. Too bad I didn't think of it.
TV Show: JAG
Ens. Harriet Sims: You can't ask me out on purpose, but you can ask her out by accident?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: You were mad at me and she laughed at one of my jokes. At least, I think it was a joke.
Ens. Harriet Sims: You know what worries me, Bud? (he shakes his head) I'm starting to understand what you're saying.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, Harriet, I'm really, really glad you're here in Washington. When I saw you at JAG, it was like eating Mexican food. You know, how your heart gets all tingly and you can't catch your breath because your whole body feels like its on fire?
Ens. Harriet Sims: I've been waiting for you say that. Dance?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No. (she looks disappointed) But I'd sure like to try.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: You were mad at me and she laughed at one of my jokes. At least, I think it was a joke.
Ens. Harriet Sims: You know what worries me, Bud? (he shakes his head) I'm starting to understand what you're saying.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, Harriet, I'm really, really glad you're here in Washington. When I saw you at JAG, it was like eating Mexican food. You know, how your heart gets all tingly and you can't catch your breath because your whole body feels like its on fire?
Ens. Harriet Sims: I've been waiting for you say that. Dance?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: No. (she looks disappointed) But I'd sure like to try.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: And then we went to an all-night diner and ate cheeseburgers and onion rings.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: My kind of place. And then you took her home.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Red light, major!
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: My kind of place. And then you took her home.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Red light, major!
TV Show: JAG
Harm: When awkwardness goes to $40 a barrel, I want the drilling rights to Bud's head.
Mac: Aw, Harm, it just takes him a little while to get warmed up.
Harm: Warmed up? Love isn't baseball, Mac.
Mac: How would you know?
Mac: Aw, Harm, it just takes him a little while to get warmed up.
Harm: Warmed up? Love isn't baseball, Mac.
Mac: How would you know?
TV Show: JAG
Special Agent Clayton Webb: Admiral Chegwidden thinks I'm a pain-in-the-ass bureaucrat who should never have involved the Marines in the first place. And he was right.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Taking the blame, Webb? How unlike you.
Special Agent Clayton Webb: If I hadn't involved the Marines, my ass would not be hanging over a very deep chasm right now, no offense, Major.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: None taken. I hang asses frequently in my profession.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Taking the blame, Webb? How unlike you.
Special Agent Clayton Webb: If I hadn't involved the Marines, my ass would not be hanging over a very deep chasm right now, no offense, Major.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: None taken. I hang asses frequently in my profession.
TV Show: JAG