JAG Quotes
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: What they say about dress whites and gold wings?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yeah?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Very overrated.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: We'll see.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yeah?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Very overrated.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: We'll see.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: A little late, aren't you?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: 30, 35 seconds. Sorry about that.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: 30, 35 seconds. Sorry about that.
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: He's only got 46 minutes.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do you do that?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's a Marine thing.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do you do that?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's a Marine thing.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Major, the file you're looking for is…
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I know where it is, Bud.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am, but its already..
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's 0939 and the flight doesn't leave until 1100, we have plenty of time, so relax! You're so nervous.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am. I'm just trying to point out to you that file you're looking for is...
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: There it is! For heaven sakes' Bud, it was right in front of you.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes, ma'am. How about that.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I know where it is, Bud.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am, but its already..
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It's 0939 and the flight doesn't leave until 1100, we have plenty of time, so relax! You're so nervous.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes ma'am. I'm just trying to point out to you that file you're looking for is...
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: There it is! For heaven sakes' Bud, it was right in front of you.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Yes, ma'am. How about that.
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You'd follow Captain Koonan to hell.
Sergeant Tesla: And back, ma'am. He'd get us back.
Sergeant Tesla: And back, ma'am. He'd get us back.
TV Show: JAG
(After a fight with a group of Army Rangers)
Sergeant Tesla: I got to admire your restraint, Gunny. You held off decking that jerk for a good two, maybe three seconds.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Man, I don't remember it hurting this much.
Sergeant Tesla: Don't tell me you're out of practice, Gunny?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You know, it's getting harder and harder to find a good bar fight.
Sergeant Tesla: I got to admire your restraint, Gunny. You held off decking that jerk for a good two, maybe three seconds.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Man, I don't remember it hurting this much.
Sergeant Tesla: Don't tell me you're out of practice, Gunny?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You know, it's getting harder and harder to find a good bar fight.
TV Show: JAG
Captain Koonan: There is only one thing I want to know.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sir?
Captain Koonan: How did the men perform?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Outstanding, sir.
Captain Koonan: How can that be, Gunnery Sergent Post? My men ended up in the brig. Did you see any rangers in the brig, First Sergeant Creed?
First Sergeant Creed: Not one Ranger, sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Rangers are in sickbay, sir.
Captain Koonan: I see. How do you feel about that, First Sergeant?
First Sergeant Creed: I'm appalled by their conduct, sir.
Captain Koonan: The First Sergeant and I are appalled, Gunny.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes sir I thought you would be sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sir?
Captain Koonan: How did the men perform?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Outstanding, sir.
Captain Koonan: How can that be, Gunnery Sergent Post? My men ended up in the brig. Did you see any rangers in the brig, First Sergeant Creed?
First Sergeant Creed: Not one Ranger, sir.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Rangers are in sickbay, sir.
Captain Koonan: I see. How do you feel about that, First Sergeant?
First Sergeant Creed: I'm appalled by their conduct, sir.
Captain Koonan: The First Sergeant and I are appalled, Gunny.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes sir I thought you would be sir.
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: It is the custom to salute an officer.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (salutes) Yes ma'am. You are loving this new relationship.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: (salutes) Yes ma'am. You are loving this new relationship.
TV Show: JAG
CPO Paul Bauwer: Sometimes it's better just to put an old guard dog down. He's more trouble than he's worth once he's outlived his usefulness.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You can always find some way to be useful, Chief.
CPO Paul Bauwer: And what am I supposed to do, sir? If I don't want to be a mercenary, what am I supposed to do? I can kill a man 18 different ways with my bare hands. I can break down 43 different assault rifles. I can jump out of a chopper going 30 knots 30 feet into a freezing ocean and swim all night to a submarine. But what am I supposed to do now?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: You can always find some way to be useful, Chief.
CPO Paul Bauwer: And what am I supposed to do, sir? If I don't want to be a mercenary, what am I supposed to do? I can kill a man 18 different ways with my bare hands. I can break down 43 different assault rifles. I can jump out of a chopper going 30 knots 30 feet into a freezing ocean and swim all night to a submarine. But what am I supposed to do now?
TV Show: JAG
(on a note pinned to Chief Bauwer's uniform)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: "I hope I got the ribbons right."
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: "I hope I got the ribbons right."
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Bud, if you were a girl I'd kiss you.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: (laughs) Red light, Commander. Does this mean I get my Game Boy back?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: (laughs) Red light, Commander. Does this mean I get my Game Boy back?
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Nardoni argued his way to a weaker position. The jury knowing only helps us.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Funny how that happens.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Are you saying you planned it?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do you think? I think I like the big leagues.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Funny how that happens.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Are you saying you planned it?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What do you think? I think I like the big leagues.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: How do we as a society treat the warriors we create? By locking up them for protecting their children the same way they protected us? The prosecution would say yes. I say Chief Bauwer is a hero, a guardian angel, whose love for his son kept him always there, in the shadows. He came through for his son, just like in ways we'll never know, he came through for all of us.
TV Show: JAG
Doctor Jenna: I'd like you to stay overnight for observation.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: In the hospital?
Doctor Jenna: Well, I think it's a little early in our relationship for you to stay at my place.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: In the hospital?
Doctor Jenna: Well, I think it's a little early in our relationship for you to stay at my place.
TV Show: JAG
Temir: I fear no man.
CPO Walter Hume: Well, I guess that makes you stupid as well as annoying. I sure as Sam Hill wouldn't like a Navy SEAL hunting me down like a mad dog.
Temir: He's a Navy SEAL?
CPO Walter Hume: Yeah. A real killer. He'll sneak up on you and snap your skinny chicken neck like that! I know, I taught that boy everything.
Temir: And you are?
CPO Walter Hume: Admiral Walter Hume, United States Navy Covert Operations!
CPO Walter Hume: Well, I guess that makes you stupid as well as annoying. I sure as Sam Hill wouldn't like a Navy SEAL hunting me down like a mad dog.
Temir: He's a Navy SEAL?
CPO Walter Hume: Yeah. A real killer. He'll sneak up on you and snap your skinny chicken neck like that! I know, I taught that boy everything.
Temir: And you are?
CPO Walter Hume: Admiral Walter Hume, United States Navy Covert Operations!
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: He want's to know how many centimeters you're dilated.
Pregnant Woman: It feels as big as the Grand Canyon! Oh come on, I've got nothing you haven't seen before!
(Harm examines her)
Pregnant Woman: Well?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I can honestly say, I have never seen that before.
Pregnant Woman: It feels as big as the Grand Canyon! Oh come on, I've got nothing you haven't seen before!
(Harm examines her)
Pregnant Woman: Well?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Well, I can honestly say, I have never seen that before.
TV Show: JAG
Zaki: We are not murderers! We are fighting for the freedom of our people.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: By killing old men and young women?
Zaki: Do you know how many old men and young women and even babies we have lost?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Too many. It doesn't justify killing more.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: By killing old men and young women?
Zaki: Do you know how many old men and young women and even babies we have lost?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Too many. It doesn't justify killing more.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: What happened?
Doctor Jenna: A little language problem. How do you say 'stay where you are or I'll pistol whip you' in Farsi?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: (speaks Farsi)
Doctor Jenna: It sounded just like that.
Doctor Jenna: A little language problem. How do you say 'stay where you are or I'll pistol whip you' in Farsi?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: (speaks Farsi)
Doctor Jenna: It sounded just like that.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: The navy doesn't reprimand its skippers for asserting American naval superiority. It basically comes down to who has the biggest…
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Ship?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Something like that, yeah.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Ship?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Something like that, yeah.
TV Show: JAG
(after meeting Mac)
Lieutenant Matovic : She's a Marine?
Commander Zoltan Petavich: God bless America.
Lieutenant Matovic : She's a Marine?
Commander Zoltan Petavich: God bless America.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Can we be charged with mutiny on a foreign vessel, Commander?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: No. This would be considered an act of terrorism.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: No. This would be considered an act of terrorism.
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: How long have you been standing there?
Commander Zoltan Petavich: Long enough.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Long enough for what?
Commander Zoltan Petavich: Long enough for me to realize that you are unlike any woman I have ever met. Yet not quite long enough for me to fall in love with you.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Does that line work on Russian women?
Commander Zoltan Petavich: Not very often. But I have had limited success with it in the lower Balkans.
Commander Zoltan Petavich: Long enough.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Long enough for what?
Commander Zoltan Petavich: Long enough for me to realize that you are unlike any woman I have ever met. Yet not quite long enough for me to fall in love with you.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Does that line work on Russian women?
Commander Zoltan Petavich: Not very often. But I have had limited success with it in the lower Balkans.
TV Show: JAG
Captain Grinkov: Tell Captain McNamara that I will miss our games. We were never good friends, but we were the best of enemies.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Oh, my goodness. The Admiral sent Sarah MacKenzie.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You nervous already?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And why would I be nervous?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, you know, I have beaten you before.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That doesn't count. I dropped that case.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, you keep dreaming, flyboy.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: You nervous already?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: And why would I be nervous?
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Well, you know, I have beaten you before.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: That doesn't count. I dropped that case.
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, you keep dreaming, flyboy.
TV Show: JAG
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Payday was the worst. He'd go to the NCO Club with his buddies and most of the time they'd have to drive him because he was too drunk to drive himself.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Mac, you don't have to…
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes, I do. My mother would help him in, and he'd flop on the couch and yell for me to take off his shoes. He reeked of cigarette and stale beer, and sometimes something worse. Then the yelling would start. And then the slapping. And then the sobbing. His. I don't know which was worse, his hitting or his sobbing that he was sorry. She left him. And me with him.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Mac, you don't have to…
Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yes, I do. My mother would help him in, and he'd flop on the couch and yell for me to take off his shoes. He reeked of cigarette and stale beer, and sometimes something worse. Then the yelling would start. And then the slapping. And then the sobbing. His. I don't know which was worse, his hitting or his sobbing that he was sorry. She left him. And me with him.
TV Show: JAG
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: She did good today.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, Major MacKensize? Yes sir! She was great, sensational, terrific! She really did a a good job.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I said good, Bud, not the Second Coming.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, yes sir.
(fax machine beeps)
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Uh, I think that might be for me, sir! Yes! Lieutenant J.G. Roberts, that's my name!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes, that's you, Bud. Are you OK, Bud?
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, Major MacKensize? Yes sir! She was great, sensational, terrific! She really did a a good job.
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: I said good, Bud, not the Second Coming.
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Oh, yes sir.
(fax machine beeps)
Lt. J.G. Bud Roberts: Uh, I think that might be for me, sir! Yes! Lieutenant J.G. Roberts, that's my name!
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Yes, that's you, Bud. Are you OK, Bud?
TV Show: JAG
Ens. Harriet Sims: Could I ask you a question, sir?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sure, fire away.
Ens. Harriet Sims: Lieutenant Roberts…Bud…um…(loudly) Why are men such jerks!?
(both look surprised)
Ens. Harriet Sims: I am so sorry sir! That just popped right out of my…I'm so! That is not like me, sir! That will not happen again, I'm so sorry! (she starts to leave)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: It's okay, Harriet! You want to talk about it?
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: Sure, fire away.
Ens. Harriet Sims: Lieutenant Roberts…Bud…um…(loudly) Why are men such jerks!?
(both look surprised)
Ens. Harriet Sims: I am so sorry sir! That just popped right out of my…I'm so! That is not like me, sir! That will not happen again, I'm so sorry! (she starts to leave)
Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb: It's okay, Harriet! You want to talk about it?
TV Show: JAG