Justice League Quotes
[Villains are terrorizing Metropolis.]
Kalibak: This looks like a job for Superman! But I don't think he's coming.
Kalibak: This looks like a job for Superman! But I don't think he's coming.
TV Show: Justice League
Superman: You're insane.
Vandal Savage: True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house?
Superman: ...
Vandal Savage: Like you've got something better to do.
Vandal Savage: True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house?
Superman: ...
Vandal Savage: Like you've got something better to do.
TV Show: Justice League
Superman: [holding a rock over Vandal Savage's head] I should smash your skull.
Vandal Savage: Go ahead, we both know it wouldn't work.
[Superman pauses and drops the rock. They both stand up.]
Superman: What now...?
Vandal Savage: Lunch?
Vandal Savage: Go ahead, we both know it wouldn't work.
[Superman pauses and drops the rock. They both stand up.]
Superman: What now...?
Vandal Savage: Lunch?
TV Show: Justice League
[Superman picks up a copy of "Life Strategies: Coping With Yourself"]
Superman: Self-help books? You don't seem the type.
Vandal Savage: I read whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues, what with my destroying the Earth and all.
Superman: Self-help books? You don't seem the type.
Vandal Savage: I read whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues, what with my destroying the Earth and all.
TV Show: Justice League
Vandal Savage: Don't worry about me. Go back to your friends. Do what you do best. What you were born to do - save the world.
TV Show: Justice League
[Everyone is marveling at Superman's return]
Martian Manhunter: You were greatly missed, my friend... by all of us.
[All eyes turn to Batman, who is standing apart with arms crossed, emotionless]
Wonder Woman: Don't let him fool you. Your death hit him as hard as it did any of us.
Superman: Really?
Batman: No. I never believed you were dead in the first place.
Superman: I guess that's sort of a compliment.
Martian Manhunter: You were greatly missed, my friend... by all of us.
[All eyes turn to Batman, who is standing apart with arms crossed, emotionless]
Wonder Woman: Don't let him fool you. Your death hit him as hard as it did any of us.
Superman: Really?
Batman: No. I never believed you were dead in the first place.
Superman: I guess that's sort of a compliment.
TV Show: Justice League
Lobo: [angry about Superman kicking him out of the Justice League] Next time you lollipops need help, don't bother asking the Main Man!
Martian Manhunter: ... We didn't ask you this time!
Martian Manhunter: ... We didn't ask you this time!
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: Ah, ah, ah! Don't touch that remote. I know it's heartbreaking to have your favorite shows preempted, but look what you're getting instead: me! And a whole truckload of mindless violence and wanton property damage, everything that makes TV great! So stay tuned - you won't believe your eyes.
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: Here's how we do this little tango: I've tucked away a great, big time bomb somewhere on the Vegas strip. Only the Justice League can defuse it, 'cause if anyone else tries, (shows audience a switch) I press this, and kablooie! No waiting! Now, I know you want to see the big bomb hunt from the best point of view, so I've set up hundreds of cameras all over town! The League won't be able to burp without us looking in! And since every good suspense show has to have a ticking clock, here's mine! [a display appears on screen, counting down from 23 minutes - the average length of an episode without commercials] Oh, what were you expecting from me? A round number?
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: [watching Batman's jet land and Batman step out] I see one of our stars approaching the red carpet! And he’s in black — always chic. [Javelin lands and the rest of the Justice League step out] But here come the fashion disasters. I’m surprised their mummies let them out of the house looking like that.
TV Show: Justice League
[The Royal Flush Gang is fleeing the scene]
Joker: Oh, you're breaking an old man's heart, kids! Stand up to them like I would! If I were there... and if I had superpowers and... Oh, for Pete's sake, go back there and beat on them!
Joker: Oh, you're breaking an old man's heart, kids! Stand up to them like I would! If I were there... and if I had superpowers and... Oh, for Pete's sake, go back there and beat on them!
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: [after telling the origin story of his minions] The governement said it was protecting them. But what it really wanted was to turn them into weapons. And they would have gotten away with it too, if not for me meddling with the kids!
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: [about Ten] Ten feels no pain - literally! And he's just as strong as Stupidman!
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: The suspense is killing me! Of course, it's going to be the explosions that kill them.
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: [after Green Lantern reveals a false bomb located at the bottom of a river] Aww, I was hoping someone would drown trying to disarm that. C'est la vie.
TV Show: Justice League
Flash: [After locating a bomb but not knowing how to disarm it, talking to Batman via comlink] Batman, I've got a problem!
Batman: [Being strangled in a battle with Jack, and attempting to fight] You... don't... SAY!
Flash: I found a bomb. You've got to talk me through disarming it.
Batman: [throwing exploding batarangs at Jack] Okay. Remove the lid...
Flash: Already done.
Batman: Don't jump ahead! Do exactly as I say!
Flash: I opened it before I called! [sound of blow landing] Batman, you okay?
Batman: [evading Jack's punches] Grasp the red metal collar with both hands, pull it straight up. It's magnetized, don't touch the sides, or it'll blow up the whole block.
Flash: Done.
Batman: Disconnect the following wires in- [Jack hits him]AH! -in precisely this order: blue, yellow-and-black striped, red, then black.
Flash: [does so] Okay, what next?
Batman: You're done. Find another one!
Flash: I'm on it!
Batman: [Being strangled in a battle with Jack, and attempting to fight] You... don't... SAY!
Flash: I found a bomb. You've got to talk me through disarming it.
Batman: [throwing exploding batarangs at Jack] Okay. Remove the lid...
Flash: Already done.
Batman: Don't jump ahead! Do exactly as I say!
Flash: I opened it before I called! [sound of blow landing] Batman, you okay?
Batman: [evading Jack's punches] Grasp the red metal collar with both hands, pull it straight up. It's magnetized, don't touch the sides, or it'll blow up the whole block.
Flash: Done.
Batman: Disconnect the following wires in- [Jack hits him]AH! -in precisely this order: blue, yellow-and-black striped, red, then black.
Flash: [does so] Okay, what next?
Batman: You're done. Find another one!
Flash: I'm on it!
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: Will Green Lantern ever admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that big honkin' mace? Will true love conquer all? Not on my show! [punches button that detonates the bomb early.]
TV Show: Justice League
Superman: Give it up, kid. There's no way you can beat me.
Ten: I don't have to beat you. I just have to slow you down until the bomb blows!
Superman: Hold that thought! [Punches Ten high into the sky, and defuses the bomb. Ten falls back down] Now, where were we?
Ten: I don't have to beat you. I just have to slow you down until the bomb blows!
Superman: Hold that thought! [Punches Ten high into the sky, and defuses the bomb. Ten falls back down] Now, where were we?
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: Let's go back to watching Green Lantern croak - that should cheer me up.
TV Show: Justice League
Batman: Harley! Where's Joker?
Harley Quinn: After all these years, you still think I'd give up Mister J?
Batman: Why not? He gave you up.
Harley Quinn: That was a long time ago! He's changed! We've been to couple's counseling!
Batman: I'm talking about right now. Or haven't you been watching the show? You've seen the way he touches her hair, the way he rubs her shoulders.
Harley Quinn: You mean Ace? She's just a kid!
Batman: Really? Then why is she with him while you're out here in the cold?
[Harley pauses, then punches Batman in the face.]
Joker: Have to admit, didn't see that one coming...
Harley Quinn: After all these years, you still think I'd give up Mister J?
Batman: Why not? He gave you up.
Harley Quinn: That was a long time ago! He's changed! We've been to couple's counseling!
Batman: I'm talking about right now. Or haven't you been watching the show? You've seen the way he touches her hair, the way he rubs her shoulders.
Harley Quinn: You mean Ace? She's just a kid!
Batman: Really? Then why is she with him while you're out here in the cold?
[Harley pauses, then punches Batman in the face.]
Joker: Have to admit, didn't see that one coming...
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: Even you can't disarm one of my bombs in time!
Flash: Shut up!
Joker: What kind of retort is that? You're not even trying!
Flash: Shut up!
Joker: What kind of retort is that? You're not even trying!
TV Show: Justice League
Superman: That was quite a stunt you just pulled off.
Flash: I know. Can't wait to catch the rerun.
Flash: I know. Can't wait to catch the rerun.
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: She can send out thought waves that can alter perception... but enough with the jargon, she can drive you crazy just by looking at you - either in person, or on tv. Even as I speak, millions of you slack-jawed couch potatoes are slowly losing your grip on reality - which in my opinion is highly overrated anyway. But you can't look away, even though you know something is terribly wrong. And the best part is, I'm immune to all of this because I'm ALREADY crazy.
TV Show: Justice League
Joker: We can't let everything we have be ruined by a silly misunderstanding!
Harley Quinn: And just what is it that I'm not understanding?
Joker: That we're two of a kind. That you'll always come back to me.
Harley Quinn: Yeah, I guess I do, don't I...?
Harley Quinn: And just what is it that I'm not understanding?
Joker: That we're two of a kind. That you'll always come back to me.
Harley Quinn: Yeah, I guess I do, don't I...?
TV Show: Justice League
[Joker sings to the tune of "London Bridge"]
Joker: (punches Batman) Big old Bats in falling down. (punches him again) on the ground. (again) Mind unsound. (again) Big old Bats is falling down (again) I'm so happy.
Joker: (punches Batman) Big old Bats in falling down. (punches him again) on the ground. (again) Mind unsound. (again) Big old Bats is falling down (again) I'm so happy.
TV Show: Justice League
Batman: [over radio-link] We're cutting it a little close! Have you shut off the force-field?
Superman: Not yet. Where are you?
Batman: Aboard the Watchtower, guiding it to target.
Superman: [shocked] That's insane! Get out of there!
Batman: Negative! I'm staying until... [static over radio]
Superman: Batman! [abandons fight]
Superman: Not yet. Where are you?
Batman: Aboard the Watchtower, guiding it to target.
Superman: [shocked] That's insane! Get out of there!
Batman: Negative! I'm staying until... [static over radio]
Superman: Batman! [abandons fight]
TV Show: Justice League
(Batman has pulled the mind-control headband out of Jokers pocket, Ace is furious)
Joker: Just,... Just a souvenir, that's all! Give me that! (Tries to take it back)
Ace: (stands up and advances on Joker) I'm not afraid of you.
Joker: (scared) Wait ... puh-please ...! (backs away)
Ace: I know what it's like to frighten other people. That's why I'm not afraid of you. I'm the only one!
Joker: Don't do this! (cowers in fear and closes his eyes, obviously terrified)
Ace: (petting Joker's head) Do what?
Joker: (Looks up) That's my little Acey! Everything's going to be ... ARRGH!
(Ace uses her powers on Joker to plunge him into a catatonic state)
Joker: Just,... Just a souvenir, that's all! Give me that! (Tries to take it back)
Ace: (stands up and advances on Joker) I'm not afraid of you.
Joker: (scared) Wait ... puh-please ...! (backs away)
Ace: I know what it's like to frighten other people. That's why I'm not afraid of you. I'm the only one!
Joker: Don't do this! (cowers in fear and closes his eyes, obviously terrified)
Ace: (petting Joker's head) Do what?
Joker: (Looks up) That's my little Acey! Everything's going to be ... ARRGH!
(Ace uses her powers on Joker to plunge him into a catatonic state)
TV Show: Justice League