Kick-Ass 2 Quotes
Dave Lizewski: You're gonna pay for what you did to my dad.
Chris D'Amico: Your dad? You blew up my dad with a bazooka.
Chris D'Amico: Your dad? You blew up my dad with a bazooka.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Mindy Macready: Hit me.
Dave Lizewski: You're a 15-year-old girl. [Mindy slaps Dave]
Dave Lizewski: What the hell? [Mindy slaps Dave again]
Mindy Macready: Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.
Dave Lizewski: You're a 15-year-old girl. [Mindy slaps Dave]
Dave Lizewski: What the hell? [Mindy slaps Dave again]
Mindy Macready: Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Dr. Gravity: This is the zero-G device I invented. It can levitate any object up to a ton.
Dave Lizewski: For real?
Dr. Gravity: Hell no, man! This is a baseball bat wrapped in tin foil. But it fooled you!
Dave Lizewski: For real?
Dr. Gravity: Hell no, man! This is a baseball bat wrapped in tin foil. But it fooled you!
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Mindy Macready: You don't have to be a bad-ass to be a superhero, Dave. You just have to be brave.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
[Mindy kisses Dave] Dave Lizewski: What was that?
Mindy Macready: That was my first kiss. Be nice or I'll rip your ass out through your mouth.
Mindy Macready: That was my first kiss. Be nice or I'll rip your ass out through your mouth.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Mindy Macready: If I ever catch you robbing again, shit-burger, I'm going to go to Saudi Arabia on your ass and cut your hand off. Promise me you're done with a life of crime?
Alley Hood: I-I promise. [grabs a knife but quickly has his hand severed]
Mindy Macready: Pants on fire.
Alley Hood: I-I promise. [grabs a knife but quickly has his hand severed]
Mindy Macready: Pants on fire.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Dave Lizewski: What's the matter, Chris? Shit hit your shorts?
Chris D'Amico: Yeah, and I'm gonna wipe my ass with your face.
Chris D'Amico: Yeah, and I'm gonna wipe my ass with your face.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Dave Lizewski: I want to team up, like Batman and Robin.
Mindy Macready: Nobody wants to be Robin.
Dave Lizewski: What's wrong with Robin? Weren't you like Big Daddy's Robin?
Mindy Macready: Okay, Robin wishes he was me.
Dave Lizewski: What I'm trying to say is we should be partners. You and me, like the dynamic duo.
Mindy Macready: I'm in the NFL, Dave. And you play pee-wee.
Dave Lizewski: So train me. I want to walk the walk, and you're the closest thing I know to a real superhero. Aren't you tired of being on your own? Don't you want to know someone's there for you? Someone who's got your back?
Mindy Macready: Nobody wants to be Robin.
Dave Lizewski: What's wrong with Robin? Weren't you like Big Daddy's Robin?
Mindy Macready: Okay, Robin wishes he was me.
Dave Lizewski: What I'm trying to say is we should be partners. You and me, like the dynamic duo.
Mindy Macready: I'm in the NFL, Dave. And you play pee-wee.
Dave Lizewski: So train me. I want to walk the walk, and you're the closest thing I know to a real superhero. Aren't you tired of being on your own? Don't you want to know someone's there for you? Someone who's got your back?
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Mr. Kim: Ow, it hurts!
Colonel Stars and Stripes: Yeah there's a dog on your balls! [laughs]
Colonel Stars and Stripes: Yeah there's a dog on your balls! [laughs]
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Chris D'Amico: What the hell, Mom? Did you delete the news off the DVR?
Mrs. D'Amico: Yes. Yes I did, Christopher.
Chris D'Amico: That was the one with Kick-Ass!
Mrs. D'Amico: Ugh, Christopher! You've got to stop obsessing over this superhero!
Chris D'Amico: He is not a superhero, Mom. He's a murderer! He blew Dad up with a bazooka, for fuck's sake!
Mrs. D'Amico: [making sign of the cross]Your father died in a fire.
Chris D'Amico: A fire! What is your problem?
Mrs. D'Amico: You! You are my problem! I am trying to raise you to be a normal boy. That's why we moved to Long Island after your father's accident.
Chris D'Amico: A bazooka is not an accident, you delusional bitch!
Mrs. D'Amico: Yes. Yes I did, Christopher.
Chris D'Amico: That was the one with Kick-Ass!
Mrs. D'Amico: Ugh, Christopher! You've got to stop obsessing over this superhero!
Chris D'Amico: He is not a superhero, Mom. He's a murderer! He blew Dad up with a bazooka, for fuck's sake!
Mrs. D'Amico: [making sign of the cross]Your father died in a fire.
Chris D'Amico: A fire! What is your problem?
Mrs. D'Amico: You! You are my problem! I am trying to raise you to be a normal boy. That's why we moved to Long Island after your father's accident.
Chris D'Amico: A bazooka is not an accident, you delusional bitch!
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Old Man: [walking in on The Motherfucker's robbery]What's wrong with you, boy?
Chris D'Amico: Get on the floor too, Gandalf, or I will bust a cap in your ass!
Old Man: You're going to bust your own face when that gun kicks if you don't hold it properly.
Chris D'Amico: Just get on the ground! [Old Man slowly gets on the floor]
Chris D'Amico: [getting agitated]God! Will you hurry up? [the Motherfucker shoots his gun, hitting himself in the face]
Old Man: I told you!
Chris D'Amico: Get on the floor too, Gandalf, or I will bust a cap in your ass!
Old Man: You're going to bust your own face when that gun kicks if you don't hold it properly.
Chris D'Amico: Just get on the ground! [Old Man slowly gets on the floor]
Chris D'Amico: [getting agitated]God! Will you hurry up? [the Motherfucker shoots his gun, hitting himself in the face]
Old Man: I told you!
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Chris D'Amico: [posing with guns]I know what my role is in this, Javier. My dad was a crime boss, so it just makes sense. I'm a super-villain! It's evolution.
Javier: Come on, just put those things down before you hurt somebody, Chris.
Chris D'Amico: That's not my name.
Javier: Okay, okay... uh, red-Red Mist.
Chris D'Amico: No, Red Mist was my superhero name. Henceforth I'll be known as The Motherfucker!
Javier: Come on, just put those things down before you hurt somebody, Chris.
Chris D'Amico: That's not my name.
Javier: Okay, okay... uh, red-Red Mist.
Chris D'Amico: No, Red Mist was my superhero name. Henceforth I'll be known as The Motherfucker!
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Uncle Ralph: It's okay to have a bit of fun but you can't go hiring a gang of heavy hitters. Javier should've told you.
Chris D'Amico: No, it doesn't matter. Uncle Ralph, I'm going to make Kick-Ass pay for what he did to us.
Uncle Ralph: Chrisy, you need to forget that punk. It's more important that you stay out of this. You're not like me, your dad. You're... special.
Chris D'Amico: You can't tell me what to do anymore. I know who I am now.
Uncle Ralph: Oh yeah, and who's that?
Chris D'Amico: The Motherfucker. [Uncle Ralph laughs]
Uncle Ralph: You think you're the big bad guy, huh? Let me show you what real evil looks like.
Chris D'Amico: No, it doesn't matter. Uncle Ralph, I'm going to make Kick-Ass pay for what he did to us.
Uncle Ralph: Chrisy, you need to forget that punk. It's more important that you stay out of this. You're not like me, your dad. You're... special.
Chris D'Amico: You can't tell me what to do anymore. I know who I am now.
Uncle Ralph: Oh yeah, and who's that?
Chris D'Amico: The Motherfucker. [Uncle Ralph laughs]
Uncle Ralph: You think you're the big bad guy, huh? Let me show you what real evil looks like.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Marty: It's still blowing my mind. Kick-Ass! It's like finding out your best friend's always been Will Smith.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Mindy Macready: [in Russian, to Mother Russia]I would've thought a cunt like you could handle all those pricks.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
[last lines] Dave Lizewski: [voice-over]When Mindy left, that's when I finally understood where my life was going. Just like it had to eventually happen, that real people would try to be superheroes, eventually it had to end too. Superheroes can't exist in the real world for a reason. It's because the real world needs real heroes, and not some punk in a wetsuit playing dress-up, but a genuine badass who can really kick ass.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
[first lines] Mindy Macready: A handgun bullet travels at more than 700 miles per hour. [Mindy pulls a gun out]
Dave Lizewski: Hey, whoa! Absolutely not! No.
Mindy Macready: Look, if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it.
Dave Lizewski: Okay, good. I don't want to do it!
Mindy Macready: Fine. [Mindy shoots Dave in the chest]
Dave Lizewski: Hey, whoa! Absolutely not! No.
Mindy Macready: Look, if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it.
Dave Lizewski: Okay, good. I don't want to do it!
Mindy Macready: Fine. [Mindy shoots Dave in the chest]
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Harlow: Maybe she's a dyke.
Mindy Macready: Maybe I'll jam my foot up your snatch.
Mindy Macready: Maybe I'll jam my foot up your snatch.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Todd: You guys watch Spider-Man last night? Is it weird if Aunt May gets you kind of hard?
Marty: Not if you're a granny-slammer.
Marty: Not if you're a granny-slammer.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Chris D'Amico: Javier, thank you. I couldn't do this without you. You're pretty much like the only real family I have left.
Javier: Not a problem, man. I got your back.
Chris D'Amico: Hey, it's kind of like you're the Alfred to my evil Bruce Wayne.
Javier: Did you just call me your fucking butler?
Chris D'Amico: Yeah, is that not a compliment? Shit, my bad.
Javier: Not a problem, man. I got your back.
Chris D'Amico: Hey, it's kind of like you're the Alfred to my evil Bruce Wayne.
Javier: Did you just call me your fucking butler?
Chris D'Amico: Yeah, is that not a compliment? Shit, my bad.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Dave Lizewski: What is wrong with you dude? This is not a comic book. This is real life! When you're dead, it's done. There's no sequel.
Chris D'Amico: You made this real. You started it. And I'm going to end it! I'll be immortal. Like an evil Jesus!
Chris D'Amico: You made this real. You started it. And I'm going to end it! I'll be immortal. Like an evil Jesus!
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Insect Man: I've been bullied my whole life for being gay. So now I stand up for the defenseless. It's why I don't wear a mask. Too much like being back in the closet.
Colonel Stars and Stripes: As long as your heart's in the right place, we don't care what you put in your mouth.
Colonel Stars and Stripes: As long as your heart's in the right place, we don't care what you put in your mouth.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Dave Lizewski: [voice-over]If I was even thinking about a Kick-Ass sequel, I had to get serious.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Dave Lizewski: [bumping into Goth Kid]Ow, watch it.
Goth Kid: Watch me end your life!
Marty: Come on forget it, it's just one of those dickheads that follows the Motherfucker on Twitter.
Dave Lizewski: Who?
Marty: The Motherfucker. He's some guy planning to be the world's first super-villain. He's got like a thousand followers already.
Dave Lizewski: What an asshole.
Goth Kid: Watch me end your life!
Marty: Come on forget it, it's just one of those dickheads that follows the Motherfucker on Twitter.
Dave Lizewski: Who?
Marty: The Motherfucker. He's some guy planning to be the world's first super-villain. He's got like a thousand followers already.
Dave Lizewski: What an asshole.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Mother Russia: Are you ready to die, little girl?
Mindy Macready: I might be, if I have to keep looking at that shit stain you call a face.
Mindy Macready: I might be, if I have to keep looking at that shit stain you call a face.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2