Kick-Ass 2 Quotes
The Tumor: Eat a dick!
Mindy Macready: You're going to eat yours if you don't start talking.
The Tumor: Go ahead and shoot me, you little bitch. There's nothing you can do to make me talk. [Mindy pistol whips The Tumor]
Dave Lizewski: Hold on. I can't do this right now. It's my dad's funeral.
Mindy Macready: Dave, your father loved you... just like my daddy loved me. And I know it hurts but maybe... maybe that's the real meaning of being a superhero. It's taking that pain and turning it into something good. Something right. Remember what you told me? This is your life. You've got to live it. Now help me find some pliers. I'm going to make this guy eat his own dick.
The Tumor: Seriously?
Mindy Macready: You're going to eat yours if you don't start talking.
The Tumor: Go ahead and shoot me, you little bitch. There's nothing you can do to make me talk. [Mindy pistol whips The Tumor]
Dave Lizewski: Hold on. I can't do this right now. It's my dad's funeral.
Mindy Macready: Dave, your father loved you... just like my daddy loved me. And I know it hurts but maybe... maybe that's the real meaning of being a superhero. It's taking that pain and turning it into something good. Something right. Remember what you told me? This is your life. You've got to live it. Now help me find some pliers. I'm going to make this guy eat his own dick.
The Tumor: Seriously?
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Chris D'Amico: Anybody else want to be a super-villain? Promise I pay better than Chuck little dick Liddell!
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Katie Deauxma: You remember Malik?
Dave Lizewski: Dude who volunteers at your needle exchange?
Katie Deauxma: His baton is so much bigger than Kick-Ass'.
Dave Lizewski: No.
Katie Deauxma: Yeah. And by baton I mean penis.
Dave Lizewski: Yeah, I got that. Thanks.
Dave Lizewski: Dude who volunteers at your needle exchange?
Katie Deauxma: His baton is so much bigger than Kick-Ass'.
Dave Lizewski: No.
Katie Deauxma: Yeah. And by baton I mean penis.
Dave Lizewski: Yeah, I got that. Thanks.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Marty: Well, I became Battle-Guy after my parents were mugged and killed coming home from the opera. Did I tell you that the sick bastard maxed out their credit cards on porno sites?
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Javier: [referring to Mrs. D'Amico]Damn she had a nice pair of guns.
Chris D'Amico: Dude, she's dead! Don't talk about her tits.
Javier: [holding pistols]I was talking about these.
Chris D'Amico: Dude, she's dead! Don't talk about her tits.
Javier: [holding pistols]I was talking about these.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Brooke: Hi, Detective Williams! This must be Mindy.
Detective Marcus Williams: It is. Hi, Brooke. So you girls have some fun and I'll pick you up in the morning, okay?
Mindy Macready: I'll be the one with the slit wrists.
Detective Marcus Williams: It is. Hi, Brooke. So you girls have some fun and I'll pick you up in the morning, okay?
Mindy Macready: I'll be the one with the slit wrists.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [to Eisenhower]You have to stay in there till you calm down, you lunatic. Wonder what's bothering you.
Mother Russia: I know. Tonight you die.
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [draws gun]Ladies first.
Mother Russia: You will not shoot me. You are super hero. You help people. You do not hurt them.
Chris D'Amico: That's super villain territory or as I like to call my little gang, The Toxic Mega-Cunts.
The Tumor: [waves]Hi.
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [takes gun; clicks, Mother Russia realizes it's empty]Yeah, just like your head.
Genghis Carnage: [Mother Russia overpowers Colonel, pulls out a machete and stabs him]Yeah!
The Tumor: Ooh, that's gotta hurt. [Mother Russia uses Colonel's coat to wipe his blood off her blade]
Chris D'Amico: I did my homework on you, Colonel. You used to be Sal Bertolinni, didn't you? Did a few jobs for my dad back in the day before you got born-again?
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [dying]I used to hangout with a lot of losers.
Chris D'Amico: Is this how you thought you would die, Sal? Dressed like an idiot?
Colonel Stars and Stripes: Who are you supposed to be?
Chris D'Amico: I'm the Mother Fucker! And I'm here to end Kick-Ass. Not just kill him. I am going to shit on everything that he loved. Let's trash this place guys. [picks up mail statement]
Chris D'Amico: Miranda Swedlow. Who's that, Sal? She one of the whores on your team? [googles her name and matches her with her face on the poster]
Chris D'Amico: Night Bitch. All snuggled up to Kick-Ass. Looks like our boy's got a new hot pocket.
Mother Russia: Want me to kill his dog?
Chris D'Amico: The dog, Jesus Christ, I'm not that evil. Cut the old man's head off. You guys hungry? I'm
Mother Russia: I know. Tonight you die.
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [draws gun]Ladies first.
Mother Russia: You will not shoot me. You are super hero. You help people. You do not hurt them.
Chris D'Amico: That's super villain territory or as I like to call my little gang, The Toxic Mega-Cunts.
The Tumor: [waves]Hi.
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [takes gun; clicks, Mother Russia realizes it's empty]Yeah, just like your head.
Genghis Carnage: [Mother Russia overpowers Colonel, pulls out a machete and stabs him]Yeah!
The Tumor: Ooh, that's gotta hurt. [Mother Russia uses Colonel's coat to wipe his blood off her blade]
Chris D'Amico: I did my homework on you, Colonel. You used to be Sal Bertolinni, didn't you? Did a few jobs for my dad back in the day before you got born-again?
Colonel Stars and Stripes: [dying]I used to hangout with a lot of losers.
Chris D'Amico: Is this how you thought you would die, Sal? Dressed like an idiot?
Colonel Stars and Stripes: Who are you supposed to be?
Chris D'Amico: I'm the Mother Fucker! And I'm here to end Kick-Ass. Not just kill him. I am going to shit on everything that he loved. Let's trash this place guys. [picks up mail statement]
Chris D'Amico: Miranda Swedlow. Who's that, Sal? She one of the whores on your team? [googles her name and matches her with her face on the poster]
Chris D'Amico: Night Bitch. All snuggled up to Kick-Ass. Looks like our boy's got a new hot pocket.
Mother Russia: Want me to kill his dog?
Chris D'Amico: The dog, Jesus Christ, I'm not that evil. Cut the old man's head off. You guys hungry? I'm
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Dave Lizewski: You're not scared, to die?
Mindy Macready: Are you scared you're never gonna grow into your big boy pants?
Dave Lizewski: I'm serious. What if Spider-Man or Batman got killed one night? Like, it could happen.
Mindy Macready: If you're scared of dying, one thing is certain - you are going to die. My daddy was never afraid of dying.
Dave Lizewski: Look where that got him.
Mindy Macready: He knew he might have to make the ultimate sacrifice one day. And that's why he made me promise I'd never stop defending this city. Cross my heart, hope to die.
Dave Lizewski: Your dad was insane. You know that, right?
Mindy Macready: You're wrong, Dave. My daddy was the first real superhero. Not you or Red Mist. It was my daddy, and it was an honor to serve by his side.
Mindy Macready: Are you scared you're never gonna grow into your big boy pants?
Dave Lizewski: I'm serious. What if Spider-Man or Batman got killed one night? Like, it could happen.
Mindy Macready: If you're scared of dying, one thing is certain - you are going to die. My daddy was never afraid of dying.
Dave Lizewski: Look where that got him.
Mindy Macready: He knew he might have to make the ultimate sacrifice one day. And that's why he made me promise I'd never stop defending this city. Cross my heart, hope to die.
Dave Lizewski: Your dad was insane. You know that, right?
Mindy Macready: You're wrong, Dave. My daddy was the first real superhero. Not you or Red Mist. It was my daddy, and it was an honor to serve by his side.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Detective Marcus Williams: [after catching Mindy as Hit-Girl]Your father was like a brother to me. He was a great cop and a hero. But Big Daddy - that was not your father. Okay? That was someone who robbed you of your childhood. And this... Hit-Girl. That's not who you are. You are Mindy Macready, and you're just starting high school. I understand that you don't know who that person is yet, but you will. You just gotta try.
Mindy Macready: I don't want to.
Detective Marcus Williams: You don't know what you want. You can't. You're not an adult. Not yet.
Mindy Macready: Yeah, well I've done more in my 15 years than most adults have in their lifetime.
Detective Marcus Williams: That note that your father gave you, the one that you were supposed to open if anything ever happened to him, what'd it say?
Mindy Macready: That you would take care of me.
Detective Marcus Williams: And that you were supposed to listen to me, right? Well, listen up. I want you in school, I want you to stop talking to that boy, and I want you to promise me that this is never going to happen again.
Mindy Macready: [after long pause]Cross my heart, hope to die.
Mindy Macready: I don't want to.
Detective Marcus Williams: You don't know what you want. You can't. You're not an adult. Not yet.
Mindy Macready: Yeah, well I've done more in my 15 years than most adults have in their lifetime.
Detective Marcus Williams: That note that your father gave you, the one that you were supposed to open if anything ever happened to him, what'd it say?
Mindy Macready: That you would take care of me.
Detective Marcus Williams: And that you were supposed to listen to me, right? Well, listen up. I want you in school, I want you to stop talking to that boy, and I want you to promise me that this is never going to happen again.
Mindy Macready: [after long pause]Cross my heart, hope to die.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Chris D'Amico: [laughs]Oh, this is perfect. Are you really that stupid? There's two of you, and a whole army of us. Do you really have such a hard-on to die?
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Mindy Macready: [after watching Union J's music video]What the fuck was that?
Dolce: I know, right? I'm soaked!
Brooke: That - that is who you are, Mindy. You may not dress like us or talk like us, but when it comes to boys we're all the same. Twilight, Channing Tatum, Union J... it's biology, bitch. Don't fight it.
Mindy Macready: I, um... I gotta go.
Dolce: But we were going to go get high on bath salts at Logan's house!
Dolce: I know, right? I'm soaked!
Brooke: That - that is who you are, Mindy. You may not dress like us or talk like us, but when it comes to boys we're all the same. Twilight, Channing Tatum, Union J... it's biology, bitch. Don't fight it.
Mindy Macready: I, um... I gotta go.
Dolce: But we were going to go get high on bath salts at Logan's house!
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Chris D'Amico: [Kicking Dave Lizewski in the ground]No. No. People WANT to win the lottery, people WANT to fuck Scarlett Johansson, no one WANTS to risk their life so some moron can walk through the projects at night.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2
Dr. Gravity: We're going to organize a fight. There are a lot of guys online who said they're in if we need them.
Tommy's Mum: Are you kidding me? This isn't West Side Story.
Tommy's Mum: Are you kidding me? This isn't West Side Story.
Movie: Kick-Ass 2