King of the Hill Quote
Hank: It says here I owe $40 and that can't be true. I always bring back my tapes. Look for yourself, I've returned The Great Santini 23 times.
Store Clerk: Okay, Hank Hill, June 23rd. Yeah, you rented and never returned Cuffs & Collars.
Hank: I've never even heard of that. Have you?
Peggy: Nuh-uh. Unless it's got the name Merchan, Ivory, or Billy Crystal above the title. I am not interested.
Bobby: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. They're buying me a movie for my birthday. That's why we're here, right?
Luanne: Really, Bobby. They haven't said anything.
Hank: Bobby, you ever heard of a movie called Cuffs & Collars?
Bobby: Ooh, I think that's the one with the two cops who don't get along, but then they do, but it's too late, cause he's dead, but not really.
Hank: So you've seen it?
Bobby: No.
Hank: How about you, Luanne.
Luanne: (nods no)
Bobby: Oh no. You're not getting a movie, Bobby (laughs). You are so smooth.
Hank: No, we didn't rent it. So if you could please erase the $40 and penalize yourself whatever you think is fair, we'll be on our way.
Store Clerk: I am sorry, but the computer won't let me erase anything until you either return the tape or pay the $40.
Hank: I told you I didn't rent the tape, now who is calling me a liar, you or the machine? 'Cause I wanna know whose ass to kick!
Store Clerk: I'm not calling you a liar, sir.
Hank: Fine. Now where's the ass on this thing?
Peggy: (sighs) I need a dryer, Hank. Just pay for the tape.
Hank: Absolutely not. I won't pay for someone else's screw up. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if that tape was sitting on the shelf right now. Where would Cuff's & Collars be, Action Adventure, Action Comedy, Action Action?
Store Clerk
Store Clerk: Okay, Hank Hill, June 23rd. Yeah, you rented and never returned Cuffs & Collars.
Hank: I've never even heard of that. Have you?
Peggy: Nuh-uh. Unless it's got the name Merchan, Ivory, or Billy Crystal above the title. I am not interested.
Bobby: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. They're buying me a movie for my birthday. That's why we're here, right?
Luanne: Really, Bobby. They haven't said anything.
Hank: Bobby, you ever heard of a movie called Cuffs & Collars?
Bobby: Ooh, I think that's the one with the two cops who don't get along, but then they do, but it's too late, cause he's dead, but not really.
Hank: So you've seen it?
Bobby: No.
Hank: How about you, Luanne.
Luanne: (nods no)
Bobby: Oh no. You're not getting a movie, Bobby (laughs). You are so smooth.
Hank: No, we didn't rent it. So if you could please erase the $40 and penalize yourself whatever you think is fair, we'll be on our way.
Store Clerk: I am sorry, but the computer won't let me erase anything until you either return the tape or pay the $40.
Hank: I told you I didn't rent the tape, now who is calling me a liar, you or the machine? 'Cause I wanna know whose ass to kick!
Store Clerk: I'm not calling you a liar, sir.
Hank: Fine. Now where's the ass on this thing?
Peggy: (sighs) I need a dryer, Hank. Just pay for the tape.
Hank: Absolutely not. I won't pay for someone else's screw up. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if that tape was sitting on the shelf right now. Where would Cuff's & Collars be, Action Adventure, Action Comedy, Action Action?
Store Clerk
TV Show: King of the Hill
