King of the Hill Quotes
Angela: Men are never going to respect us. That's why we've got to use what God or the surgeon gave us to get what they got: Money.
Luanne Platter: So you'd do anything for money?
Angela: Or a car.
Luanne Platter: So you'd do anything for money?
Angela: Or a car.
TV Show: King of the Hill
John Redcorn: Hank, this is an important ritual among my people. Don't half-ass it.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: I've taken two oaths in my life: One to the NRA, and the other to Nancy Hicks-Gribble. I stood in front of God and all my friends, vowing to be an honorable and truthful man. So I'm not gonna lie to you, I have felt a small, insect-like attraction for you. But my wife is the greatest woman there ever was!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Can't you see you're not making Christianity better, you're just making rock and roll worse?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: So it turns out I'm not the actual Dale Gribble, but a clone of him. The original Dale Gribble is a super-warrior from the year 2087. The second me, i.e. I, was created to help the first me fight the invading Mongol armies.
Hank Hill: Dale, that's asinine, and here's four reasons why. First, you're not gonna clone a super-warrior out of a guy who can't even win a thumb-wrestling match. Two, you've spent your life swearing that the robots will eliminate the clones by the year 2010, so which is it, robots or clones? Three, you've already said you sympathize with the invading Mongolians of 2087, so you'd be the last one they'd send to fight them. And four, if you were from the future, you would have seen this coming.
Hank Hill: Dale, that's asinine, and here's four reasons why. First, you're not gonna clone a super-warrior out of a guy who can't even win a thumb-wrestling match. Two, you've spent your life swearing that the robots will eliminate the clones by the year 2010, so which is it, robots or clones? Three, you've already said you sympathize with the invading Mongolians of 2087, so you'd be the last one they'd send to fight them. And four, if you were from the future, you would have seen this coming.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Kahn: Minh! Come quick! hillbillies having old-school squabble on the front lawn!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Minh: Oh, I bet she burn the meat loaf!
Hank: 20% SHRINKAGE?!
Minh: Why he point at crotch like that?
Hank: You want me to put a patch on my WHAT?!
Kahn: OK, this going in a weird direction now.
Hank: 20% SHRINKAGE?!
Minh: Why he point at crotch like that?
Hank: You want me to put a patch on my WHAT?!
Kahn: OK, this going in a weird direction now.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Minh Souphanousinphone: Oh my god. This is just like when the city of Luang Prabang fell to the Communists! Only this time we can't steal political license plates and escape to Thailand.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Joe Jack: How is your back, honey?
Hank Hill: Great Joe Jack, how is your gambling problem?
Hank Hill: Great Joe Jack, how is your gambling problem?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Dang it, I am sick and tired of everyone's asinine ideas about me. I'm not a redneck, and I'm not some Hollywood jerk. I'm something else entirely. I'm... I'm complicated!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: I'm all jacked up on America right now! Anyone want to hear me recite the Constitution?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: Pee-pee money is not an employment history and look, you left your social security number blank here [points to blank spot on Lucky's application].
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Bill! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing? That outfit makes you look like a sequined train wreck! Look at you! You're part of a twelve-headed jackass! This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the blind! Guhbuh! Underwear! Money! Fat! Ngyuh... (Dale collapses)
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: I still can't believe Bobby cheated on his paper route. I don't even know know how to punish that.
Peggy: Well, the pressures of journalism can be very intense, even I have felt it. But today, I really knocked one out of the park.
Hank: Well, good for you, what's the hint?
Peggy: Okay, get this. I combined two common items in a powerful new way. I told my readers to harness the cleaning power of ammonia with the whitening power of bleach.
Hank: Ammonia and bleach? You told people to mix ammonia and bleach?
Peggy: Only if they want bathroom fixtures that shine like the sun.
Hank: Peggy, that's the recipe for mustard gas. Arlen will be covered with a cloud of poison
Peggy: BWAH!
Peggy: Well, the pressures of journalism can be very intense, even I have felt it. But today, I really knocked one out of the park.
Hank: Well, good for you, what's the hint?
Peggy: Okay, get this. I combined two common items in a powerful new way. I told my readers to harness the cleaning power of ammonia with the whitening power of bleach.
Hank: Ammonia and bleach? You told people to mix ammonia and bleach?
Peggy: Only if they want bathroom fixtures that shine like the sun.
Hank: Peggy, that's the recipe for mustard gas. Arlen will be covered with a cloud of poison
Peggy: BWAH!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Kahn: I will now tell stories of my childhood in Laos. Growing up in the village, I had two chickens. One of these was named "Phuma." I don't recall the name of the other chicken. Sometimes I would put both chickens in the wheelbarrow. This was very funny.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Kahn: Hey, Minh, this guy serious butt-kicker! Anyway, I sorry they kill all your friends.
Nguk (soldier): Yes, that was unhappy for me.
Nguk (soldier): Yes, that was unhappy for me.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Lucky: My father said he wouldn't get married until he became the Disputed Heavyweight Wrestling Champion of the World.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: Uhhhhh. Did your father ever become the Heavyweight wrestling Champion of the World?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Lucky: No, neither he qualified for the weight. And my grandfather said he wouldn't get married until he spoke perfect French.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Joseph: Oh man, he's really got it going on. Wait, did I just sound like a chick?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Ugh...I just stabbed a parking attendant! Uh, where's the "turn yourself in" button?
TV Show: King of the Hill