King of the Hill Quotes
Hoyt: I'm a lot better now, here I owe you. [takes out some cigarettes from the pack and hands them to Lucky] See, on the oil rig, these are like money.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hoyt: Smart man. [lays more cigarettes on the patio table] That means we're like family. Say I got 10 cigarettes and you pay me 10 more for watching your back. Now how many I got?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne: I'm just sad that Daddy had to back to his oil rig again.[turns to Lucky] He would be so proud of you.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: Well, he sure would but they really need him on that oil rig. Otherwise they wouldn't have given him a life time contract.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Ted Wasanasong: This was no act of god; look at those sledgehammer marks! It was the act of rednecks, on a drunken rampage.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale: (After they rebuild neighbor's house) We should do this to Bill's house when he dies.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bill: What a nice lady. We used to talk about puppies and serial killers through the fence.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Lucky: I've seen a lot of nature documentaries and I find that most of life's questions can be answered with another question: what would a monkey do?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Emcee: We're here to honor one of the giants of Texas propane, Mr. Buck Strickland. To introduce Mr. Strickland, his right-hand man, Hank Hill.
Hank: (Hank walks onto the stage drunk and knocks down the emcee) I'm not going to say, hell, I am going to say what I have been wanting to say, Buck Strickland is a monster, a drunk monster. Buck Strickland is nothing but a worthless disgusting bastard- (gibberish). And now I'm going to vomit. (he vomits)
Hank: (Hank walks onto the stage drunk and knocks down the emcee) I'm not going to say, hell, I am going to say what I have been wanting to say, Buck Strickland is a monster, a drunk monster. Buck Strickland is nothing but a worthless disgusting bastard- (gibberish). And now I'm going to vomit. (he vomits)
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale: (Imitating Survivorman) There is no greater survival skill that the ability to start a fire without matches. Fortunately Arlen is rich in natural propane tank deposits.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: Not one of [these girls] has seen my "Flatulent Monkey Visits the Post Office" routine!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Man: Hey, do you have that song that goes, "Wah-nah-nah-nah-nah scroun-scrouna Wah-nah-nah-nah-nah scroun-scrouna?"
Clerk: (To Peggy) I gotta... yeah.
Clerk: (To Peggy) I gotta... yeah.
TV Show: King of the Hill
[Dale and Bill are wrestling over a beer can.]
Kahn Souphinousaphone: Chain-smoking anorexic vs. that heart attack waiting to happen! Who will die first...?
Kahn Souphinousaphone: Chain-smoking anorexic vs. that heart attack waiting to happen! Who will die first...?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Cotton Hill: (In a letter) "Hank, if you're readin' this it means Fatty's dead. So I have to leave this task to the one most likely to screw it up: You."
TV Show: King of the Hill
[The series' last lines]
Bobby: Well, Dad, it looks like this is the last one.
Hank: Oh, you're just getting started, Bobby. You'll be grilling your whole life.
Bobby: Just like you.
Hank: Yep.
Bobby: Yep.
Bobby: Well, Dad, it looks like this is the last one.
Hank: Oh, you're just getting started, Bobby. You'll be grilling your whole life.
Bobby: Just like you.
Hank: Yep.
Bobby: Yep.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Connie: Ugh! How many cows do you people eat in a year?
Hank Hill: Wait! We figured this out once!
Hank Hill: Wait! We figured this out once!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale: Really?
Animal Control Member: Yes, now go home and make love with your wife, then come back ready for the hunt.
Dale: But she's at work. Don't worry, I'll figure it out.
Animal Control Member: Yes, now go home and make love with your wife, then come back ready for the hunt.
Dale: But she's at work. Don't worry, I'll figure it out.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: They sure do. Actually, they're 10,000 gallon heffers, sir. And it's sunrise.
TV Show: King of the Hill