King of the Hill Quotes
Dale Gribble: I never thought I'd say this, but, I don't think I can finish my beer.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bill Dauterive: We're engaged!
Leanne Platter: It was supposed to be a surprise! (punches Bill and burps) I need a smoke!
Bill Dauterive: This is the happiest day of my life!
Leanne Platter: It was supposed to be a surprise! (punches Bill and burps) I need a smoke!
Bill Dauterive: This is the happiest day of my life!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy Hill: I will not have you running around all glammed up like Phyllis Diller!
Luanne Platter: You're not my mama! Mama is my mama!
Peggy Hill: Luanne, you are never gonna see her for who she is. Well, I am sorry, but I have not got time for pain. The next time that woman breaks your heart, I'm not gonna be waiting there to say "I told you so."
Luanne Platter: You're not my mama! Mama is my mama!
Peggy Hill: Luanne, you are never gonna see her for who she is. Well, I am sorry, but I have not got time for pain. The next time that woman breaks your heart, I'm not gonna be waiting there to say "I told you so."
TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne Platter: Mama, please!
Leanne Platter: Will you quit callin' me that?!
Leanne Platter: Will you quit callin' me that?!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy Hill: Leanne, whether you like the title or not you are this girl's mother. She has been waiting her whole life for just a shred of attention from you. But you don't even know how to return a fraction of the love you get from your child or even from your man. I hope someday you can live without alcohol, but until that day we can all live very nicely without you.
Leanne Platter: I kicked your brother's ass and I will kick yours too, sissy!
Peggy Hill: Well, there's one thing you didn't count on. My brother has got size 6 feet, but I don't! Ho-yeah! (throws Leanne to the ground with her feet and kicks her)
Leanne Platter: I kicked your brother's ass and I will kick yours too, sissy!
Peggy Hill: Well, there's one thing you didn't count on. My brother has got size 6 feet, but I don't! Ho-yeah! (throws Leanne to the ground with her feet and kicks her)
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bill Dauterive: If she doesn't come back, that means she and I weren't meant to be and if she does come back, well then...then I'll call the police.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Writchard: Bobby, I need a soda!
Bobby: Yes, Mr. Writchard.
Writchard: Not that way! Just run across.
Bobby: But the track?!
Writchard: Don't back-talk the boss man! Ain't you ever cross the highway?! Run where there ain't any cars!
Bobby: They're going too fast!
Writchard: Do it you- you monkey boy! I'm the boss of you!
Hank: What the hell. BOBBY NO! What are you doing?
Bobby: I'm going to cross the track and bring Mr. Writchard a soda.
Hank: That's crazy! Why would you do something like that?
Bobby: I'm giving 110%, Dad.
Writchard: Go-to here, Go-to boy. I want a soda! Go-to now, you!
Hank: BWAAAAAHHH!!!
Announcer: There's a crazy man on the track!
Hank: BWAAAAAHHH!!!
Announcer: Oh, and there goes Gordon into the wall!
Pit crew guy: You're up!
Dale and Bill: Boomhauer, Boomhauer, Boomhauer, Yeah!
Bobby: Yes, Mr. Writchard.
Writchard: Not that way! Just run across.
Bobby: But the track?!
Writchard: Don't back-talk the boss man! Ain't you ever cross the highway?! Run where there ain't any cars!
Bobby: They're going too fast!
Writchard: Do it you- you monkey boy! I'm the boss of you!
Hank: What the hell. BOBBY NO! What are you doing?
Bobby: I'm going to cross the track and bring Mr. Writchard a soda.
Hank: That's crazy! Why would you do something like that?
Bobby: I'm giving 110%, Dad.
Writchard: Go-to here, Go-to boy. I want a soda! Go-to now, you!
Hank: BWAAAAAHHH!!!
Announcer: There's a crazy man on the track!
Hank: BWAAAAAHHH!!!
Announcer: Oh, and there goes Gordon into the wall!
Pit crew guy: You're up!
Dale and Bill: Boomhauer, Boomhauer, Boomhauer, Yeah!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Writchard: Ah! (laughing) You can't get me!
Hank: BWAAAAAHHH!!! (breaks the caged fence and chases after Writchard)
Writchard: (screams)
Hank: BWAAAAAHHH!!! (breaks the caged fence and chases after Writchard)
Writchard: (screams)
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby Hill: There's some milk in the fridge that is about to go bad....and there it goes.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Boomhauer: Hey man, is this dang ol' 911? Hey listen, there's a dang ol' fire in here, and dang ol' Mega-Lo-Mart went boom!
911 Operator: Sir, you are going to have to speak a lot more slowly.
Boomhauer: Dang... ol'... Mega-Lo-Mart... done git went got it, and dang ol' boom!
911 Operator: Sir, you are going to have to speak a lot more slowly.
Boomhauer: Dang... ol'... Mega-Lo-Mart... done git went got it, and dang ol' boom!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy: HAAAAAANNNNNKKKK!
Bill: CHUUUUUCCCCCKKK!
Mega Lo Mart Employee: Buckley and Luanne are in there!
Bill: CHUUUUUCCCCCKKK!
Mega Lo Mart Employee: Buckley and Luanne are in there!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: (With his pants pulled up, in heavy Yiddish accent) "What are you talkin' about?"
TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy Hill: Mix pineapple juice and club soda, and you've got yourself a big bucket of crap.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy Hill: You hear the expression "Lie like a dog" so much it is almost a cliché.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy Hill: Well, well, well Jo-hon Redcorn.
John Redcorn: Oh, Peggy. Nancy's headache's very severe this morning, um... must be the pollen.
Peggy Hill: Well, well, well.
John Redcorn: Well.
Peggy Hill: Jo-hon Redcorn.
John Redcorn: Pe-eggy Hill.
John Redcorn: Oh, Peggy. Nancy's headache's very severe this morning, um... must be the pollen.
Peggy Hill: Well, well, well.
John Redcorn: Well.
Peggy Hill: Jo-hon Redcorn.
John Redcorn: Pe-eggy Hill.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Cotton Hill: I'm goin' down to the corn dog shack to watch the girlies make lem-o-nade.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Whatd'ya got under the foil Mr. Party Pooper, some party poop?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: "Heck, I thought I'd go ahead and sharpen all the axes."
Dale Gribble: (singing) "Hank's a lumberjack and he's OK..."
Dale Gribble: (singing) "Hank's a lumberjack and he's OK..."
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' detector, man, government take away freedom of smoke, talkin' 'bout yo, man.
Hank Hill: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' boy ain't right, man, talkin' 'bout kick your ass, man.
Boomhauer: (speaking clearly) For God's sake, Hank, act like an adult. And keep it down, guys, will you? I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros, and I've been on the same dang page for twenty minutes.
Bill: Dang ol' pretty pretty pizza, man, I tell you what.
Hank Hill: Yeah, man, I tell you what, man, dang ol' boy ain't right, man, talkin' 'bout kick your ass, man.
Boomhauer: (speaking clearly) For God's sake, Hank, act like an adult. And keep it down, guys, will you? I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros, and I've been on the same dang page for twenty minutes.
Bill: Dang ol' pretty pretty pizza, man, I tell you what.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Heck Dorland: "I got bad news men. Chet Elderson died. Natural causes." (Bill farts while his butt is hanging out the top of the fire pole) "Oh, for cryin' out loud!"
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bill Dauterive: My face hurts.
Hank Hill: And it'll match your ass when I'm done kicking it!
Hank Hill: And it'll match your ass when I'm done kicking it!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Bobby, I didn't think I'd ever need to tell you this, but I would be a bad parent if I didn't. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.
Bobby Hill: Why do you hate what you don't understand?
Hank Hill: I don't hate you Bobby!
Bobby Hill: I was talking about soccer.
Hank Hill: Oh yeah, I hate soccer.
Bobby Hill: Why do you hate what you don't understand?
Hank Hill: I don't hate you Bobby!
Bobby Hill: I was talking about soccer.
Hank Hill: Oh yeah, I hate soccer.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Coach Sours: You little pantywads think you're ready to play the Wolves again? The Wolves eat razorblades for breakfast! Run, you bunch of pudgy-butted softies! Run, with your fancy sneakers, with pumps, valves and lights on the back that can set off a seizure! But what do you care? I ran around the world in a pair of Chuck Taylors for the love of pete! Take a salt tablet.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale: "I killed eight gophers last year and a purebred Tennessee walking horse that was looking at me funny."
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Boys, the Welton Wolves have already left their mark on this bridge. Now, what does a cougar do when a wolf comes into his neck of the woods?
Bobby Hill: Beats him in football?
Hank Hill: Yeah, that's where I was gonna end up.
Bobby Hill: Beats him in football?
Hank Hill: Yeah, that's where I was gonna end up.
TV Show: King of the Hill