King of the Hill Quotes
Hank Hill: Soccer was invented by european housewives as a way to keep busy while their husbands did the cooking
TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy Hill (To a group of soccer moms): If we were in Canada you ladies would be snooty Quebecoise.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Kahn Souphanousinphone: Minh come quick! Bobby Hill marrying hillbilly cousin. You owe me five dollars. In your face!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne Platter Kleinschmidt: Uncle Hank! Bobby's trying to get out of marrying me!
Hank Hill: Bobby, you cut that out!
Bobby: "Dad! I've gotten Luanne pregnant!"
Hank Hill: Bobby, you cut that out!
Bobby: "Dad! I've gotten Luanne pregnant!"
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: (Bobby is presenting Jesus' miracles in the form of a magic show) Now, "for my next trick, I'm gonna need a large wooden cross and a couple of volunteers..."
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: They wanted to see me wet my pants from fear... but they're too late!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Too late, I killed Shackleford! No...wait, correction, Shackleford wants a pizza.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby Hill: I'd like a one-way ticket to Mexico por favor. That means 'today.'
TV Show: King of the Hill
Cotton Hill: I'm an old man. Everybody already hates me. But Bobby is just a child; he has his whole life ahead of him. ... If I could take a bullet for my grandson, I would. Just not in the face; that's how I make my livings.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale: (After a trampoline falls on his foot) "Aah! This is a sign that we have been playing God with Buckley's trampoline and now God is playing God with us, and He's a whole lot better at it. I refuse to touch this portal to hell!"
TV Show: King of the Hill
[Hank is hanging around Buckley's trampoline. Dale peeks out his window and yells: ]
Dale: Run, Hank! Portal to Hell!
[Dale quickly closes his curtains.]
Dale: Run, Hank! Portal to Hell!
[Dale quickly closes his curtains.]
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank Hill: Y'know dad when you call him "good Hank" it's gonna make me sound like bad Hank.
Cotton Hill: Well you burnt my burger didn't you B.H.?
Cotton Hill: Well you burnt my burger didn't you B.H.?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bill: (Trying to put on his old football helmet) "Hank, how did my head get so fat?"
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: (Reading the note) 'Mr. Hill, I just got my first period.' Bwaaaaah!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Chappy: I live in a shack, I poop in an outhouse, I eat what I kill.
Hank Hill: There isn't a Mrs. Chappy, is there Chappy?
Hank Hill: There isn't a Mrs. Chappy, is there Chappy?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby Hill: : Dad! Dad, the police are lookin' for you!
Hank Hill: (whispering to himself) Oh, god! Debbie's hippie roommate turned me in for smokin' narcotics!
Peggy Hill: Haaaank!
Buck Strickland: I like to hump, I like to eat, and I don't like to drive.
Hank: I am inducing vomiting!
Hank Hill: (whispering to himself) Oh, god! Debbie's hippie roommate turned me in for smokin' narcotics!
Peggy Hill: Haaaank!
Buck Strickland: I like to hump, I like to eat, and I don't like to drive.
Hank: I am inducing vomiting!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: How long does it take Debbie to throw in a load of laundry? I really need to talk to her.
Debbie's roommate: She should be right up. Debbie said you were gonna... HEY!
Hank: No, we were not. It was a trick.
Debbie's roommate: Is $300 too much for a Hot Wheels VW Purple Evil Weevil?
Hank: (sighs) Yeah, I could use one too.
Debbie's roommate: Damn, the ebay auction closed. I lost my weevil.
Hank: Dang it. Could I get a light off yours? Huh, that's a funny looking cigarette. You roll it yourself?
Debbie's roommate: Yeah.
Hank: You got a weak flame on this thing. (Hank breathes it and coughs) This isn't one of them clove cigarettes, is it?
Debbie's roommate: No man. That's the chronic, from Mexico.
Hank: Huh, damn NAFTA. It's clearly an inferior tobacco.
Debbie's roommate: So, does your wife party too?
Hank: Party? Uh, we throw a party for Fourth of July and Labor Day.
Debbie's roommate: No, I mean party, you know. Get high. Get stoned.
Hank: BWAHHHHHHH!
Debbie's roommate: She should be right up. Debbie said you were gonna... HEY!
Hank: No, we were not. It was a trick.
Debbie's roommate: Is $300 too much for a Hot Wheels VW Purple Evil Weevil?
Hank: (sighs) Yeah, I could use one too.
Debbie's roommate: Damn, the ebay auction closed. I lost my weevil.
Hank: Dang it. Could I get a light off yours? Huh, that's a funny looking cigarette. You roll it yourself?
Debbie's roommate: Yeah.
Hank: You got a weak flame on this thing. (Hank breathes it and coughs) This isn't one of them clove cigarettes, is it?
Debbie's roommate: No man. That's the chronic, from Mexico.
Hank: Huh, damn NAFTA. It's clearly an inferior tobacco.
Debbie's roommate: So, does your wife party too?
Hank: Party? Uh, we throw a party for Fourth of July and Labor Day.
Debbie's roommate: No, I mean party, you know. Get high. Get stoned.
Hank: BWAHHHHHHH!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Infiltration of mental hospital complete. Proceed to phase two; exfiltration of mental hospital.
TV Show: King of the Hill