King of the Hill Quotes
Dale Gribble: You're like E.T., except E.T. was a purebred alien with a heart of gold. You're only half-alien and at times can be a tad self-absorbed.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: What happens if my tee shot lands on a bird's back and he carries it out of bounds but then is attacked by a larger bird who grabs the ball and drops it in the hole? Is that still a hole-in-one? Because that's how I'm going to play it.
Hank Hill: Dang it, Dale. It already happened once. What are the odds of it happening again?
Hank Hill: Dang it, Dale. It already happened once. What are the odds of it happening again?
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bill Dauterive: I've never had a caddy before. I'm gonna treat him like crap.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Step on it, Bill! I don't know which way it's coming out, but it's coming out!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: I don't mean to sound racist, but this by far is the best selection of beans I have ever seen. I'm serious.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale Gribble: Get away from my wife or next time I'll aim for the mannequin and hit you.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Nancy Gribble: This is supposed to be my re-wedding to Dale! My second chance! Why is God punishin' me? (looks up with her arms in the air) Why, Shoog?!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bug Gribble: : Oh my god, Hank! Are you gay?
Hank Hill: What?! No! I sell propane!
Hank Hill: What?! No! I sell propane!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Nancy Gribble: So, are you really okay with your dad being gay?
Dale Gribble: Why would I have a problem with it? I've been friends with John Redcorn for years, and he's gay.
Dale Gribble: Why would I have a problem with it? I've been friends with John Redcorn for years, and he's gay.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Hank: Hey, John Redcorn.
John Redcorn: Hank.
Hank: Uh, yeah, John Redcorn, I had a dream last night. You got a minute?
John Redcorn: Come in. I'll brew some cantamel tea.
Hank: ...and the woman in my dreams, the one without the clothing, was not my wife. And needless to say that is not a dream I intended to have.
John Redcorn: My people believe that dreams of the unconscious mind trying to solve a problem with the conscious mind cannot. Is there anything unusual going on with you?
Hank: Nope. Everything's the same as it's always been for as long as I can remember. Yep, same old, same old.
John Redcorn: Is it possible that after 20 years of marriage, you're a little tired of your wife?
Hank: What?! That's crazy! Our romantic life is as good as the day we were married. It hasn't changed a bit. Yep, we've got a great routine. If I were bored of Peggy, I'd be having dreams in which I was bored of Peggy, not grilling naked with the neighbor's wife.
John Redcorn: (laughs) Minh.
Hank: Uh, no.
John Redcorn: It's Nancy? My Nancy? You're having dirty dreams about my sweet Nan-Nan?
Hank: Say, is that a new suede vest?
John Redcorn: Nancy used to like it when I kept the vest on during sex. Do you want it?
Hank: Oh, God!
John Redcorn: Here, take it! Take it all!
Hank: Bah!
John Redcorn: (crying)
John Redcorn: Hank.
Hank: Uh, yeah, John Redcorn, I had a dream last night. You got a minute?
John Redcorn: Come in. I'll brew some cantamel tea.
Hank: ...and the woman in my dreams, the one without the clothing, was not my wife. And needless to say that is not a dream I intended to have.
John Redcorn: My people believe that dreams of the unconscious mind trying to solve a problem with the conscious mind cannot. Is there anything unusual going on with you?
Hank: Nope. Everything's the same as it's always been for as long as I can remember. Yep, same old, same old.
John Redcorn: Is it possible that after 20 years of marriage, you're a little tired of your wife?
Hank: What?! That's crazy! Our romantic life is as good as the day we were married. It hasn't changed a bit. Yep, we've got a great routine. If I were bored of Peggy, I'd be having dreams in which I was bored of Peggy, not grilling naked with the neighbor's wife.
John Redcorn: (laughs) Minh.
Hank: Uh, no.
John Redcorn: It's Nancy? My Nancy? You're having dirty dreams about my sweet Nan-Nan?
Hank: Say, is that a new suede vest?
John Redcorn: Nancy used to like it when I kept the vest on during sex. Do you want it?
Hank: Oh, God!
John Redcorn: Here, take it! Take it all!
Hank: Bah!
John Redcorn: (crying)
TV Show: King of the Hill
Marlene: I'm going to be honest with you -- I only understand about half of what you say. The other times I just nod and smile and wait for your pants to come off.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Peggy: Bill is picking on Boomhauer? He hasn't done that since he had hair.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne: Let's see, how can I explain this...? You know how you can be happy eating vanilla ice cream day after day after day? Well, Mr. Boomhauer isn't just like that. See, he likes to try different flavors.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Bobby: But he can have a new flavor every day! He's dating the ice cream lady!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Luanne: Mr. Boomhauer had grown-up sex with the ice cream lady, and now he's dumped her. You're never gonna have ice cream again, Bobby.
TV Show: King of the Hill
Dale: We gotta do something. The alley was balanced before. A cool single guy, and a cool married guy. A loser single guy, and a loser married guy. Now it's me and three losers!
TV Show: King of the Hill
[Hank meets his Japanese half-brother, who looks astonishingly like him, for the first time.]
Hank: Bwaaaaaaah!!!
Junichiro: (In unison with hank) Braaaaaah!!!
Junichiro: I kick-a your ass!!!
Hank: Bwaaaaaaah!!!
Junichiro: (In unison with hank) Braaaaaah!!!
Junichiro: I kick-a your ass!!!
TV Show: King of the Hill
Junichiro: (To Hank) With all respect and honor, I would not be saddened if both you and your father went to Hell!
TV Show: King of the Hill
[After receiving a message with information about rampaging Cotton's whereabouts.]
Junichiro: It is one of the businessmen I exchanged cards with! See? Japanese politeness is surprisingly effective! He just saw shinless stranger boarding at train station. He say he buy train ticket and... dishonor pay toilet.
Junichiro: It is one of the businessmen I exchanged cards with! See? Japanese politeness is surprisingly effective! He just saw shinless stranger boarding at train station. He say he buy train ticket and... dishonor pay toilet.
TV Show: King of the Hill
[After discarding Japanese politeness in favor of American ass-kicking.]
Junichiro: Look at me! Here come Ronald Reagan, Mike Tyson!
Junichiro: Look at me! Here come Ronald Reagan, Mike Tyson!
TV Show: King of the Hill