Laverne and Shirley Quotes
Laverne: Squiggy, do you know the Purple Fiends?
Squiggy: Know them? They beat me up three times!
Squiggy: Know them? They beat me up three times!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: This song is called "Night After Night," and it's about two nights in a row.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: Squiggy, true or false...
Squiggy: True!
Laverne: I didn't ask the question yet!
Squiggy: Yes, you did. You said, "Squiggy, true or false?" I'm Squiggy, that would be true.
Squiggy: True!
Laverne: I didn't ask the question yet!
Squiggy: Yes, you did. You said, "Squiggy, true or false?" I'm Squiggy, that would be true.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: [Referring to a bowl of mushy food] It's brown now, that means it was yellow once!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: You know girls, between us, Squiggy's not as smart as he looks...
Laverne: Aww, he's gotta be...
Laverne: Aww, he's gotta be...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: [To Shirley] You're too little to be a LAMP. Maybe you could be a nightlight...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: You're nothing but a yellow-bellied cream puff!
Shirley: Cream puff?! Cream puff?! I'll have you know that cream puffs don't have bellies!
Shirley: Cream puff?! Cream puff?! I'll have you know that cream puffs don't have bellies!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: What I don't have in strength, I make up for in what I lack up here! [Points to head]
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: My family may have left Poland in disgrace, but some day we'll return the same way!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: [To Laverne] You're pretty, and you're smart, and you happen to be the classiest girl I know.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Woman: In my country, I'd have your head!
Lenny: You'd look pretty stupid with my head!
Lenny: You'd look pretty stupid with my head!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: I've got better things to do than spend my time in the kitchen!
Shirley: Oh yeah? Well answer me this - how do you intend on keeping a husband happy, hmmm?
[Laverne smiles suggestively]
Shirley: Well I hear that gives them quite the appetite!
Shirley: Oh yeah? Well answer me this - how do you intend on keeping a husband happy, hmmm?
[Laverne smiles suggestively]
Shirley: Well I hear that gives them quite the appetite!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Carmine: Ow, don't touch me! [Pauses] That's funny, that's what you usually say!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: Okay, Carmine, how much do you need?
Carmine: Five thousand bucks.
Laverne: [Flipping through the bible] Five thou-
[Laverne stops flipping the pages, closes the bible, and bows her head]
Laverne: Let us pray.
Carmine: Five thousand bucks.
Laverne: [Flipping through the bible] Five thou-
[Laverne stops flipping the pages, closes the bible, and bows her head]
Laverne: Let us pray.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Carmine: No, no, you don't understand - I only need a wife for one night.
Shirley: Get out.
Carmine: No, no, no, it's for the money.
Laverne: Then why don't you just call Ready Betty Wazaluski?
Shirley: Both of you, get out of here!
Shirley: Get out.
Carmine: No, no, no, it's for the money.
Laverne: Then why don't you just call Ready Betty Wazaluski?
Shirley: Both of you, get out of here!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: [To Laverne] Boy, you just stepped straight off the bus right into Filth Town, didn't you?
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: Alright, so maybe we are pickleheads... but we're the BEST DAMN PICKLEHEADS IN THE STATE OF MILWAUKEE!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Squiggy: Ooh, the swimsuit competition! I'm gonna turn down the sound so we can see it better!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: [Stuck in a dress] Somebody get this dress off me!
[Lenny & Squiggy barge through the front door.]
Squiggy: This looks like a job for a couple of pickleheads!
[Lenny & Squiggy barge through the front door.]
Squiggy: This looks like a job for a couple of pickleheads!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: I treat my body like a temple, Laverne. You choose to treat yours like an amusement park.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: [Referring to a fur coat] This is the second best thing I've ever felt!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: [After seeing the guys gawk over a hot girl] Now I know who God gave the rest of my body to...
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Woman: [Speaking about Laverne and Shirley] You know the old saying - girls without looks make the best cooks.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Lenny: If you cut us, do we not bleed? If you slap us, do we not swell up? If you spit on us, do we not get wet?
Squiggy: The answer to all these questions is yes.
Squiggy: The answer to all these questions is yes.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: Well, it could get hot in their kitchen.
Shirley: Not if you don't take this it won't.
Shirley: Not if you don't take this it won't.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Laverne: We've got a date with a couple of veterinarians.
Squiggy: Never trust men who don't eat meat. There's something fishy about them.
Squiggy: Never trust men who don't eat meat. There's something fishy about them.
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley
Shirley: Nobody wants anything that's been chewed up and spit out.
Squiggy: Hello!
Squiggy: Hello!
TV Show: Laverne and Shirley