Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes
[Watching homeless people sneak in and out of steam tunnels.]
Goren: You ever think what it's like living down there?
Eames: With what one bedrooms are going for, I've considered it.
Goren: You ever think what it's like living down there?
Eames: With what one bedrooms are going for, I've considered it.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Deakins: All those in favor of he's our guy, raise your hand.
[Goren and Eames look at each other.]
Deakins: Oh, that's good.
[Goren and Eames look at each other.]
Deakins: Oh, that's good.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Eames prepares to kick a motel door in.]
Eames: Housekeeping. Ready or not--
Eames: Housekeeping. Ready or not--
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: You're under arrest for the murder of Lois Romney.
Jameson: What, you're serious?
Eames: You don't see us wearing clown shoes, do you?
Jameson: What, you're serious?
Eames: You don't see us wearing clown shoes, do you?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Mrs. Van Acker: You people are all over the map.
Eames: We're pretty good at reading maps, Mrs. Van Acker.
Eames: We're pretty good at reading maps, Mrs. Van Acker.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: So you see, Mr. Jameson. The only fingers in the pie are yours.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Jameson: That vindictive, stupid bitch.
Carver: We are all ears.
Carver: We are all ears.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: "Returned due to insufficient postage." Somebody must have missed the last rate hike.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: My mother didn't like my girlfriends either, even if she pretended to, but she didn't kill any of them.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren and Eames investigate the death of a sexton in a respected church, only to lose their primary suspect when he, too, is murdered.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Deakins and Eames watch Goren shouting and cheering bravo to a homeless man in the Interrogation room.]
Deakins: Great. The Goren Show's back in town.
Deakins: Great. The Goren Show's back in town.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[After Goren interviews a manic, schizophrenic homeless man.]
Eames: You were good talking with Howard.
Goren: Mmm. Lots of practice.
Eames: You were good talking with Howard.
Goren: Mmm. Lots of practice.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: You know us. We're the NYPD. We lie all the time. And we're good at it.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: After 18 years in foster care, Kevin turns up an uncle.
Goren: Touching, isn't it?
Goren: Touching, isn't it?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Deakins: What about you? Any dazzling insights you'd like to share?
Goren: Uh...no.
Goren: Uh...no.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: You thinking of converting? Because I think Father Capanna would love to baptize you.
Goren: Too late, you're speaking to a lapsed alter boy.
Eames: I should've known. Disregard for authority, fascination with bad behavior....
Goren: Too late, you're speaking to a lapsed alter boy.
Eames: I should've known. Disregard for authority, fascination with bad behavior....
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Lawyer: This is pure harassment.
Eames: You have no idea how many times a day we hear that.
Eames: You have no idea how many times a day we hear that.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Forensic Accountant: Next to Immaculate Conception, how the Church handles its money is one of the great mysteries of the faith.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: [To Goren] Listen to you. What did you think you were doing here? A catch-and-release program?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: Detective, if you try and run one by me like that again, I will have your badge.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[The Major Case Squad chases after a ladies' man who has reeled out of control and is killing off his demanding girlfriends.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[After finding another petite corpse]
Eames: Big day for little women.
Eames: Big day for little women.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: You know, I have a theory about why certain men are attracted to petite women. You Wanna Hear it.
Talbott: Not particularly.
Goren: Petite women are a snug fit for small men.
Talbott: That's so ridiculous.
Goren: No. I think I'm onto something here. Small men can feel like they have a titan missile in their pocket.
Talbott: Not particularly.
Goren: Petite women are a snug fit for small men.
Talbott: That's so ridiculous.
Goren: No. I think I'm onto something here. Small men can feel like they have a titan missile in their pocket.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: You're a small guy. What size shoe do you wear?
[Goren thumps his feet onto the table.]
Goren: I wear a 13. you look like a 9 or ... you know, like an 8?
Talbott: I'm an ... oh, God, I don't even want to talk to you about this. Don't drag me into this.
'[Talbott fends Goren off. Goren laughs with delight.]
Goren: You got small hands, too!
[Goren thumps his feet onto the table.]
Goren: I wear a 13. you look like a 9 or ... you know, like an 8?
Talbott: I'm an ... oh, God, I don't even want to talk to you about this. Don't drag me into this.
'[Talbott fends Goren off. Goren laughs with delight.]
Goren: You got small hands, too!
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Looking at a victim's international driver's license picture]
Eames: The maid said he was good looking. This makes him look like all three of the Three Stooges.
Eames: The maid said he was good looking. This makes him look like all three of the Three Stooges.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[On hearing that a customer who ordered a suit has been killed.]
Tailor: This is a disaster. The pattern's been made, the cloth's been cut.
Tailor: This is a disaster. The pattern's been made, the cloth's been cut.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: [Going through victim's rolodex] Here's George W.'s address in Texas.
Goren: [Going through victim's papers] Really? I have a letter from Donald Trump thanking Dupont for his "timely advice." And he misspells the word "investment."
Eames: You'd think Trump's secretary would use spell-check.
Goren: [Going through victim's papers] Really? I have a letter from Donald Trump thanking Dupont for his "timely advice." And he misspells the word "investment."
Eames: You'd think Trump's secretary would use spell-check.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Upon finding forgeries of character references in the victim's assistant's apartment]
Goren: Why would an heir to the Dupont fortune need phony character references?
Eames: Low self-esteem?
Goren: Why would an heir to the Dupont fortune need phony character references?
Eames: Low self-esteem?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent