Law and Order - Criminal Intent Quotes
Goren: I need to use my most important investigative tool. My library card.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Two suspects discussing the dead mortician.]
Russell: Harry, he got killed over the weekend. Right in the funeral home.
Harry: God has a very peculiar sense of humor.
Russell: Harry, he got killed over the weekend. Right in the funeral home.
Harry: God has a very peculiar sense of humor.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: The fake boils, the crucifixion pose, it was all just to throw us off.
Goren: It's impressive.
Deakins: It's demented.
Goren: It worked.
Goren: It's impressive.
Deakins: It's demented.
Goren: It worked.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: Pacemakers have to be removed before cremation. Otherwise the lithium batteries explode. Gives off a toxic fume and could damage the cremation chamber.
Deakins: Yeah, I heard silicon implants had to be removed. My buddy Martinelli in the 3-7 married a stripper.
Deakins: Yeah, I heard silicon implants had to be removed. My buddy Martinelli in the 3-7 married a stripper.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Carver: Did the autopsy on Mr. Ferguson prove he'd been frozen, then thawed?
Deakins: The autopsy proved when it comes to medical science, you're better off asking The Magic 8-ball.
Deakins: The autopsy proved when it comes to medical science, you're better off asking The Magic 8-ball.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[A social worker and a deputy mayor are killed, bringing the Major Case squad in to investigate a school for young geniuses.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren uses tweezers to pick a piece of lint off the dead driver's suit.]
Goren: Looks like Webster had a passenger, sat close to him. Wore a purple cashmere sweater.
Eames: Tight-fitting size 2 with a plunging neckline.
[Goren inspects the lint with interest.]
Goren: Mm. That I can't tell from this.
Eames: I can tell from the bull he was feeding his wife.
Goren: Looks like Webster had a passenger, sat close to him. Wore a purple cashmere sweater.
Eames: Tight-fitting size 2 with a plunging neckline.
[Goren inspects the lint with interest.]
Goren: Mm. That I can't tell from this.
Eames: I can tell from the bull he was feeding his wife.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Deakins watches Goren and Eames enter the observation room after questioning a witness.]
Deakins: I smell square one up ahead.
Deakins: I smell square one up ahead.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren pauses to look into a classroom where small children are working on a complicated math problem on the chalkboard.]
Dr. Leonard: Please. You're going to disturb the children.
Goren: Are they working on that problem on the board?
Dr. Leonard: Yes. This is a special math tutorial.
Goren: Really? These little kids are gonna solve that?
Dr. Leonard: These are profoundly gifted children.
Eames: You'll have to forgive my partner, Dr. Leonard. He's feeling very humble right now.
Dr. Leonard: Please. You're going to disturb the children.
Goren: Are they working on that problem on the board?
Dr. Leonard: Yes. This is a special math tutorial.
Goren: Really? These little kids are gonna solve that?
Dr. Leonard: These are profoundly gifted children.
Eames: You'll have to forgive my partner, Dr. Leonard. He's feeling very humble right now.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Regarding a test that tests social adjustment.]
Eames: I remember this. We had to take it the last year of high school.
Goren: So did we.
Eames: How did you do?
Goren: I had to go to my counselor's office and have a talk with the school shrink.
[Eames chuckles.]
Goren: How about you?
Eames: Me? I was so well adjusted, they elected me prom queen.
Eames: I remember this. We had to take it the last year of high school.
Goren: So did we.
Eames: How did you do?
Goren: I had to go to my counselor's office and have a talk with the school shrink.
[Eames chuckles.]
Goren: How about you?
Eames: Me? I was so well adjusted, they elected me prom queen.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[When a university professor is killed, the detectives encounter a convoluted plot masterminded by an Australian woman who isn't who she seems. Marks the first appearance of Nicole Wallace.]
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Dr. Fellowes: You know why the battles in academia are so vicious. It's because the stakes are so low.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Wallace: Everyone knows academics are all talk and no action.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Teaching a university class.]
Wallace: In American literature, the descent into madness is usually preceded by obsession. A consuming obsession. Example, anyone?
[The class is unresponsive.]
Wallace: Alright, I'll get you started. Moby Dick. What characterizes Ahab's obsession?
[Goren raises his hand in the back of the room.]
Wallace: Yes. In the back.
[Wallace realizes that it is Goren.]
Goren: The dogged, unrelenting pursuit of evil.
Wallace: Interesting. Evil. I always fancied it was man's unrelenting pursuit of his own potency.
Wallace: In American literature, the descent into madness is usually preceded by obsession. A consuming obsession. Example, anyone?
[The class is unresponsive.]
Wallace: Alright, I'll get you started. Moby Dick. What characterizes Ahab's obsession?
[Goren raises his hand in the back of the room.]
Wallace: Yes. In the back.
[Wallace realizes that it is Goren.]
Goren: The dogged, unrelenting pursuit of evil.
Wallace: Interesting. Evil. I always fancied it was man's unrelenting pursuit of his own potency.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Discussing a grad student's poor quality thesis.]
Wallace: It wouldn't butter your parsnips.
Wallace: It wouldn't butter your parsnips.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Discussing Nicole Wallace.]
Goren: This woman is very, very good.
Goren: This woman is very, very good.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[In the interrogation room, Wallace shows Goren a pad of paper on which she's written a date and a social security number.]
Goren: That's my social security number and my birthdate.
Wallace: Yes. Remarkable. The fountain of information that can spring from those little numbers. Home address. Next of kin. Mother's maiden name. Mother's address. Tell me, Robert, how often do you get up to the Carmel Ridge Center?
Goren: That's my social security number and my birthdate.
Wallace: Yes. Remarkable. The fountain of information that can spring from those little numbers. Home address. Next of kin. Mother's maiden name. Mother's address. Tell me, Robert, how often do you get up to the Carmel Ridge Center?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[To Nicole Wallace about the exchange of information.]
Goren: No. You want to play, then it has to be tit for tat.
Goren: No. You want to play, then it has to be tit for tat.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Wallace: I did meet Nicole before I left for England. She told me things.
Goren: Where is she now?
Wallace: I don't know. Carried away by dingoes? It happens a lot in Australia.
Goren: Where is she now?
Wallace: I don't know. Carried away by dingoes? It happens a lot in Australia.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Wallace: My turn. How old were you when you first realized your mommy wasn't like all the other mommies?
[Goren slams out of his chair and stands. He walks around the table and sits down next to Wallace. He loosens his collar.]
Goren: Seven.
Wallace: Were you ashamed?
Goren: And frightened. My turn. How old were you when your father first molested you? [Wallace appears flustered] It's the only explanation for your intense hatred of men.
[Goren slams out of his chair and stands. He walks around the table and sits down next to Wallace. He loosens his collar.]
Goren: Seven.
Wallace: Were you ashamed?
Goren: And frightened. My turn. How old were you when your father first molested you? [Wallace appears flustered] It's the only explanation for your intense hatred of men.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[To Nicole Wallace]
Goren: When I met you, you wanted me to know who you truly were; how smart, how funny, how charming you were. You wanted me to know you, Nicole Wallace, a sparking, little girl who survived horrible abuse with her wits intact.
Goren: When I met you, you wanted me to know who you truly were; how smart, how funny, how charming you were. You wanted me to know you, Nicole Wallace, a sparking, little girl who survived horrible abuse with her wits intact.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren and Eames arrive too late to arrest Wallace and find she has already abandoned her apartment.]
Eames: What did you think, she'd have scones and a glass of sherry for us?
Eames: What did you think, she'd have scones and a glass of sherry for us?
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: You're really good at keeping secrets. Me, I just run off at the mouth.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Martinez: Gary Burke is dead.
Eames: How do you know that?
Martinez: PNN. Prison News Network.
Goren: That's the same place we get our news from.
Eames: How do you know that?
Martinez: PNN. Prison News Network.
Goren: That's the same place we get our news from.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Goren: That's a nice, uh, what you're wearing. I mean, where'd you get that from? From Peru? What do they call that? A serap-- s ... serape. No it's a s... s... s--
Martinez: ...Sweater.
Martinez: ...Sweater.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Deakins: ' The guy's a prosecutor. He knows losing a case is part of the game.
Eames: There's losing, and then there's losing to your wife.
Goren: And then there's getting your balls handed to you on a platter.
Eames: There's losing, and then there's losing to your wife.
Goren: And then there's getting your balls handed to you on a platter.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren calls Eames over to inspect the contents of an oven found in a warehouse.]
Eames: Aha. Illegal baking.
Eames: Aha. Illegal baking.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
[Goren explains the calligraphy found on scraps of paper to an increasingly bewildered Deakins.]
Goren: This type of calligraphy, the elongated character, the sharp brush strokes, is in the Imperial style of early Qing dynasty, 18th century. It evolved from the thin gold calligraphy developed by the Emperor Huizong.
Eames: He got that off his box of Wheaties this morning.
Goren: This type of calligraphy, the elongated character, the sharp brush strokes, is in the Imperial style of early Qing dynasty, 18th century. It evolved from the thin gold calligraphy developed by the Emperor Huizong.
Eames: He got that off his box of Wheaties this morning.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent
Eames: You look familiar.
Weems: My last gig. I was the plump and happy raisin in a snack food commercial. Am I in trouble?
Eames: You tell us. You checked into a hotel under an assumed name, forged papers were delivered to your room, an associate of yours is suspected of murdering a woman.
Goren: You don't look so plump and happy now, George.
Weems: My last gig. I was the plump and happy raisin in a snack food commercial. Am I in trouble?
Eames: You tell us. You checked into a hotel under an assumed name, forged papers were delivered to your room, an associate of yours is suspected of murdering a woman.
Goren: You don't look so plump and happy now, George.
TV Show: Law and Order - Criminal Intent