Leverage Quotes
Alec Hardison: Shouldn't I be playing the computer guy?
Nathan Ford: No, I want you to actually *be* the computer guy.
Nathan Ford: No, I want you to actually *be* the computer guy.
TV Show: Leverage
Nathan Ford: We're going with a much bigger scam. One of the classics...
Parker: The "London Spank"?
Alec Hardison: The "Geneva Pasa-Doble"...
Eliot Spencer: The "Apple Pie". [stares from the group]
Eliot Spencer: It's like the "Cherry Pie", but with lifeguards.
Sophie Devereaux: [savoring the thought] Whew...
Nathan Ford: [announcing the official answer] "Glengarry Glen Death". It's like a mutual fund, but instead of stocks you invest in, in death.
Parker: The "London Spank"?
Alec Hardison: The "Geneva Pasa-Doble"...
Eliot Spencer: The "Apple Pie". [stares from the group]
Eliot Spencer: It's like the "Cherry Pie", but with lifeguards.
Sophie Devereaux: [savoring the thought] Whew...
Nathan Ford: [announcing the official answer] "Glengarry Glen Death". It's like a mutual fund, but instead of stocks you invest in, in death.
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie Devereaux: Are you drunk?
Nathan Ford: Technically, no. I was drunk a couple of hours ago. Now, I'm just hung over.
Nathan Ford: Technically, no. I was drunk a couple of hours ago. Now, I'm just hung over.
TV Show: Leverage
Nate: You know that part of the conversation where I punch you in the neck nine or ten times? We're comin' up on that part pretty quick.
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: I'm going to beat Dubenich so bad even the people that look like him are going to bleed.
Parker: You won't get within a hundred yards. He knows your face. He knows all our faces.
Eliot: He tried to kill us.
Parker: More importantly he didn't pay us.
Eliot: How is that more important?!
Parker: I take that personally.
Eliot: There's somethin' wrong with you.
. . .
[after the con]
Parker: What is it with women and shoes?
Sophie Deveraux: There's something wrong with you.
Eliot: That's what I said!
Parker: You won't get within a hundred yards. He knows your face. He knows all our faces.
Eliot: He tried to kill us.
Parker: More importantly he didn't pay us.
Eliot: How is that more important?!
Parker: I take that personally.
Eliot: There's somethin' wrong with you.
. . .
[after the con]
Parker: What is it with women and shoes?
Sophie Deveraux: There's something wrong with you.
Eliot: That's what I said!
TV Show: Leverage
Victor Dubenich: Do you know anything about airplane design?
Nate: Yeah, I could give it a shot. You know, you get me a pencil and one of those little rulers.
Nate: Yeah, I could give it a shot. You know, you get me a pencil and one of those little rulers.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: Going to plan B?
Nate: Technically, that would be plan G.
Hardison: How many plans do we have? Is there, like, a plan M?
Nate: Yeah. Hardison dies in plan M.
Eliot: I like plan M.
Nate: Technically, that would be plan G.
Hardison: How many plans do we have? Is there, like, a plan M?
Nate: Yeah. Hardison dies in plan M.
Eliot: I like plan M.
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: What's in it for me?
Nate: Payback. And if it goes right, a lot of money.
Parker: And what's in it for me?
Nate: A lot of money. And if it goes right, payback.
Nate: Payback. And if it goes right, a lot of money.
Parker: And what's in it for me?
Nate: A lot of money. And if it goes right, payback.
TV Show: Leverage
[last lines; the team is interviewing two grieving parents who want revenge on the company that killed their daughter]
Nate: People like that…corporations like that, they have all the money, they have all the power, and they use it to make people like you go away. Right now, you're suffering under an enormous weight. We provide…Leverage.
Nate: People like that…corporations like that, they have all the money, they have all the power, and they use it to make people like you go away. Right now, you're suffering under an enormous weight. We provide…Leverage.
TV Show: Leverage
[Sophie is at a Congressman's party, pretending to be a lobbyist for a defense contractor.]
Sophie: My company's focused on meeting Senators, but I'm thinking Congressmen.
Charles Dufort: You know the great thing about Congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected. But once they're in, the incumbency rate is over ninety-five percent! So you can get on average eighteen, twenty years use out of one of them. In these uncertain times, buying a United States Congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.
Hardison: [listening in on comms] Oh, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I'm a professional criminal and I find that disturbing.
Sophie: My company's focused on meeting Senators, but I'm thinking Congressmen.
Charles Dufort: You know the great thing about Congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected. But once they're in, the incumbency rate is over ninety-five percent! So you can get on average eighteen, twenty years use out of one of them. In these uncertain times, buying a United States Congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.
Hardison: [listening in on comms] Oh, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I'm a professional criminal and I find that disturbing.
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: It'll never hold up in court.
Nate: Ah, but that's where Corporal Perry is lucky. He doesn't have lawyers. He has thieves.
Nate: Ah, but that's where Corporal Perry is lucky. He doesn't have lawyers. He has thieves.
TV Show: Leverage
Parker: You ID'd the weapon from the gunshot sound?
Eliot: It's a very distinctive sound.
[Later]:
Eliot: The tall one? The way he used a knife? Ex Marine. Probably Force Recon.
Hardison: You ID'd a guy off his knife fighting style?
Eliot: It's a very distinctive style.
Eliot: It's a very distinctive sound.
[Later]:
Eliot: The tall one? The way he used a knife? Ex Marine. Probably Force Recon.
Hardison: You ID'd a guy off his knife fighting style?
Eliot: It's a very distinctive style.
TV Show: Leverage
[A violent turn on their latest job worries Hardison, Sophie, and Parker.]
Hardison: I didn't sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.
Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.
Parker: I never hurt anybody.
[Pause]
Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…
Hardison: I didn't sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.
Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.
Parker: I never hurt anybody.
[Pause]
Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: When men are telling the truth they're not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he's making the effort to lie to her.
Eliot: Well, you can't argue with that.
Hardison: Noted and filed.
Eliot: Well, you can't argue with that.
Hardison: Noted and filed.
TV Show: Leverage
James Sterling: Nathan Ford is a common criminal.
Nate: Common. That’s just hurtful.
Nate: Common. That’s just hurtful.
TV Show: Leverage
Sterling: We're insurance men, Nate. We don't care about who's guilty or who's innocent, just who pays.
TV Show: Leverage
Parker: I once saw a horse kill a clown.
[Later]:
Parker: Horses are much less murderous than I originally thought.
[Later]:
Parker: Horses are much less murderous than I originally thought.
TV Show: Leverage
Parker: [Crawling through an air duct] Looks like Parker's gonna have to crawl through the air duct again. God forbid anyone else would have to learn how to frickin' crawl on their stomach through a tiny space. It's not rocket science, people.
Eliot: [on comms, from the truck] Parker, you realize that we can still hear you?
[Parker sighs exasperatedly]:
Eliot: [on comms, from the truck] Parker, you realize that we can still hear you?
[Parker sighs exasperatedly]:
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: I gotta be honest with you. We're gonna need a miracle to save this church.
Nate: So let's go steal ourselves a miracle.
Nate: So let's go steal ourselves a miracle.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: I'm gonna stand over here, so when the good lord throws down on y'all, I don't get hit by the lightning.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: As long as I don't have to do anything immoral.
Nate: No, absolutely not. I just need you to figure out how to…fake a miracle.
[Eliot laughs]
Hardison: We all goin' to Hell.
Nate: No, absolutely not. I just need you to figure out how to…fake a miracle.
[Eliot laughs]
Hardison: We all goin' to Hell.
TV Show: Leverage
Nate: I said bleeding tears, not bleeding ears!
Hardison: Look, look man, you’re lucky on this deadline, I didn’t give you a baking soda volcano.
Hardison: Look, look man, you’re lucky on this deadline, I didn’t give you a baking soda volcano.
TV Show: Leverage
[last line of the episode, on why they took the job to protect St. Nicholas Church]
Sophie: Saint Nicholas? He's the patron saint of thieves.
Sophie: Saint Nicholas? He's the patron saint of thieves.
TV Show: Leverage