Leverage Quotes
Sheriff Bill Hastings: We're just going by the book.
Hardison: The book? The book got a good man killed. I can't… my blood pressure…
Parker: Ex-partner. I wouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.
Hardison: The book? The book got a good man killed. I can't… my blood pressure…
Parker: Ex-partner. I wouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: Hey. What smells like crank and screams like a girl?
[kicks a meth dealer in the knee, prompting the scream]
Eliot: Heh. Right answer.
[kicks a meth dealer in the knee, prompting the scream]
Eliot: Heh. Right answer.
TV Show: Leverage
Nate: More, more, more, more! Blood, blood, blood, blood! That's what audiences want!
Irina: To see me die?
Nate: Like you wouldn't believe. [laughs insanely]
Irina: To see me die?
Nate: Like you wouldn't believe. [laughs insanely]
TV Show: Leverage
Nicolas: So where are you from?
Parker: Where am I from? Oh, where am I from!
Nate: [Through the earpiece] You're from, uh…Pittsburg, Detroit, Atlanta…
Parker: I'm from Pittsburgh, Detroit, Atlanta.
Nate: I meant, pick one!
Parker: Where am I from? Oh, where am I from!
Nate: [Through the earpiece] You're from, uh…Pittsburg, Detroit, Atlanta…
Parker: I'm from Pittsburgh, Detroit, Atlanta.
Nate: I meant, pick one!
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: This, this, this is my world! You need, you need someone to, I dunno, crawl through an air duct, you call Parker. Bash a head in? Eliot. Internet porn? Hardison! You need someone to take over a movie, then…
Nate: I ask an actor. Right. Um. Sophie. About the acting…
Sophie: Oh, yeah? What? What is it?
Nate: [looks around uncomfortably] You're right. You're right. You, you know, we're gonna go with your scene.
Nate: I ask an actor. Right. Um. Sophie. About the acting…
Sophie: Oh, yeah? What? What is it?
Nate: [looks around uncomfortably] You're right. You're right. You, you know, we're gonna go with your scene.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: I know growing up was tough, I-I know that you grew up in the system and that it was, it was bad, I know it-it was worse than bad, but that doesn't mean that all foster parents are monsters. Mine wasn't.
Parker: You grew up with your grandmother.
Hardison: We called her Nana, but she was our foster mom. She, uh, she would cuss like a sailor an' old girl would tan your ass just as soon as look at you, but, but she fed us, she bathed us, she put a roof over our heads, and, oh, she would raise hell if you so much as looked at us crooked.
Parker: Yeah? Well, you were lucky. No. We put these kids in the system and odds are, they're gonna…they're gonna… [tearing up] they're gonna turn out like me.
Hardison: [gently] I like how you turned out.
Parker: You grew up with your grandmother.
Hardison: We called her Nana, but she was our foster mom. She, uh, she would cuss like a sailor an' old girl would tan your ass just as soon as look at you, but, but she fed us, she bathed us, she put a roof over our heads, and, oh, she would raise hell if you so much as looked at us crooked.
Parker: Yeah? Well, you were lucky. No. We put these kids in the system and odds are, they're gonna…they're gonna… [tearing up] they're gonna turn out like me.
Hardison: [gently] I like how you turned out.
TV Show: Leverage
[Nate walks in on the aftermath of a fight]
Nate: Did you just kill a guy with an appetizer?
Eliot: I dunno. Maybe.
Nate: Did you just kill a guy with an appetizer?
Eliot: I dunno. Maybe.
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: Whatever happened to 'a wedding is just a big con'? [Walks away]
Nate: I didn't say that was a bad thing!
Nate: I didn't say that was a bad thing!
TV Show: Leverage
[Eliot has been sent in to the local FBI offices steal data, only to find it's all on cassette tapes.]
Eliot: Hardison, how am I supposed to get out of the FBI offices with a box full of surveillance tapes, huh?
Hardison: [Over comms] Punch somebody!
Eliot: [Threateningly] Oh, I am going to punch somebody.
Eliot: Hardison, how am I supposed to get out of the FBI offices with a box full of surveillance tapes, huh?
Hardison: [Over comms] Punch somebody!
Eliot: [Threateningly] Oh, I am going to punch somebody.
TV Show: Leverage
[Eliot is demonstrating his culinary skills to a surprised Nate]
Eliot: I’m cutting onions. De-veining shrimp. Pan searing some scallops. I got 200 people I need to feed, all right? Back off!
Nate: Okay, okay.
Eliot: [grinning] What, you think the only thing I know how to do is bust heads?
Nate: No, well, yeah.
Eliot: Look. Hold a knife like this, [holds a chef's knife normally] cuts through an onion. [switches to a backhand grip] Hold a knife like this…cuts through, like, eight yakuza in four seconds. Screams, carnage. People are like knives. Everything's in context.
Eliot: I’m cutting onions. De-veining shrimp. Pan searing some scallops. I got 200 people I need to feed, all right? Back off!
Nate: Okay, okay.
Eliot: [grinning] What, you think the only thing I know how to do is bust heads?
Nate: No, well, yeah.
Eliot: Look. Hold a knife like this, [holds a chef's knife normally] cuts through an onion. [switches to a backhand grip] Hold a knife like this…cuts through, like, eight yakuza in four seconds. Screams, carnage. People are like knives. Everything's in context.
TV Show: Leverage
Nate: Sophie, where are we at?
Sophie: Huh? I don’t know, Nate. I think you need to ask yourself that question. You called me, remember? And now we’re working together every day. I don’t know what you want. And to ask me that dressed like a Vicar. You’re a very strange man.
Nate: No, no, no. I mean, where are we at with finding the money?
Sophie: Huh? I don’t know, Nate. I think you need to ask yourself that question. You called me, remember? And now we’re working together every day. I don’t know what you want. And to ask me that dressed like a Vicar. You’re a very strange man.
Nate: No, no, no. I mean, where are we at with finding the money?
TV Show: Leverage
[Parker was trapped in an office, hiding from someone, and appeared in the hallway less than a minute later, completely calm.]
Parker: So what are we waiting for?
Eliot: How does she do that?
Nate: I don't even ask anymore.
Parker: So what are we waiting for?
Eliot: How does she do that?
Nate: I don't even ask anymore.
TV Show: Leverage
[Distracting the security guards as they run away[
Nate: Oh, it's right behind us! It's right behind us!
Parker: Aaaaah! It's furry! It's big! It's chasing us! Get down. Aaah!
[They run, while the guards pull out their guns and run in circles, confused.]
Nate: Oh, it's right behind us! It's right behind us!
Parker: Aaaaah! It's furry! It's big! It's chasing us! Get down. Aaah!
[They run, while the guards pull out their guns and run in circles, confused.]
TV Show: Leverage
[Parker is posing as a flight attendant after stealing a bag from the original woman assigned to the flight.]
Sophie: [To Nate and Eliot] How did you both know there'd be an extra uniform in the bag?
Nate: Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms in case they get called to work unexpectadly.
Eliot: Or if something happens to the one they're already wearing.
Sophie: How does everyone know that?
[In unison]
Nate: Worked airport security.
Eliot: Slept with a flight attendant.
Sophie: [To Nate and Eliot] How did you both know there'd be an extra uniform in the bag?
Nate: Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms in case they get called to work unexpectadly.
Eliot: Or if something happens to the one they're already wearing.
Sophie: How does everyone know that?
[In unison]
Nate: Worked airport security.
Eliot: Slept with a flight attendant.
TV Show: Leverage
Parker: [as a flight attendant, speaking before takeoff] In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let’s face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely, the impact will kill you.
[People give each other uncertain looks while Eliot rubs his face]
Parker: Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exit. Because if this plane's on fire, you're gonna wanna get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over a thousand degrees! That's hot, folks.
[People murmur, looking even more concerned and confused]
[People give each other uncertain looks while Eliot rubs his face]
Parker: Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exit. Because if this plane's on fire, you're gonna wanna get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over a thousand degrees! That's hot, folks.
[People murmur, looking even more concerned and confused]
TV Show: Leverage
Nate: Okay, so our wedding date would be when we met, so that makes us married for…
[In unison]
Sophie: Ten years.
Nate: Eight years.
Sophie: You don't remember when we met?
Nate: Of course I do. I was just rounding.
Sophie: By subtracting two years?
[In unison]
Sophie: Ten years.
Nate: Eight years.
Sophie: You don't remember when we met?
Nate: Of course I do. I was just rounding.
Sophie: By subtracting two years?
TV Show: Leverage
[In Nathan Ford's Office]
Hardison: Let's see what we can learn about Nathan Ford today. Online poker? Online chess? Sudoku. Crossword. Damn, somebody needs to get laid.
Nathan: Hardison, you're not in my office are you?
Hardison: Uhh...No, Naw I'm just minding my own thing.
[After the discussion]
Hardison: Okay got it.
Nathan: And Hardison.
Hardison: Yeah?
Nathan: Don't forget to turn off my computer.
Hardison: [dumbstruck] Well how in the he...
Hardison: Let's see what we can learn about Nathan Ford today. Online poker? Online chess? Sudoku. Crossword. Damn, somebody needs to get laid.
Nathan: Hardison, you're not in my office are you?
Hardison: Uhh...No, Naw I'm just minding my own thing.
[After the discussion]
Hardison: Okay got it.
Nathan: And Hardison.
Hardison: Yeah?
Nathan: Don't forget to turn off my computer.
Hardison: [dumbstruck] Well how in the he...
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: So you can write that little check now?
Hardison: [In the bar, over the comms] Man, why can't they all be this easy?
Randy: Oh, of course not. We have to go to Miami. My dad's the one who can write the check.
Hardison: Man, why they all gotta be this hard?
Hardison: [In the bar, over the comms] Man, why can't they all be this easy?
Randy: Oh, of course not. We have to go to Miami. My dad's the one who can write the check.
Hardison: Man, why they all gotta be this hard?
TV Show: Leverage
[Parker is pretending to have fallen off a ski lift, but then just dangles there.]
Nate: [Over the comms] Parker? Parker? Parker, what are you doing?
Parker: Oh, yeah. [Unenthusiastically] Help. Help. Help. [To the other man in the lift] How you doing?
Nate: [Over the comms] Parker? Parker? Parker, what are you doing?
Parker: Oh, yeah. [Unenthusiastically] Help. Help. Help. [To the other man in the lift] How you doing?
TV Show: Leverage
Nate: Okay, cheap tie, bad aftershave. Now why would the state police be interested in my business?
TV Show: Leverage
Nate: Can we give her [Parker] a fake tumor?
Hardison: Oh, we could inject her brain with some contrast dye and have it pool into her cranial cavity but there might be some side effects.
Parker: Like what?
Hardison: Organ failure, death, deathlike symptoms.
Parker: I vote for plan B.
...
Nate: Somebody find me a brain.
Parker: Oh yeah, he is definitely getting creepier.
Hardison: Oh, we could inject her brain with some contrast dye and have it pool into her cranial cavity but there might be some side effects.
Parker: Like what?
Hardison: Organ failure, death, deathlike symptoms.
Parker: I vote for plan B.
...
Nate: Somebody find me a brain.
Parker: Oh yeah, he is definitely getting creepier.
TV Show: Leverage
[Sophie is preparing Parker for the role of a dying woman]
Sophie: Think of a really sad thing that's happened in your life like, I dunno, when your father died.
[Parker bursts out laughing]
Sophie: Think of a really sad thing that's happened in your life like, I dunno, when your father died.
[Parker bursts out laughing]
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: Have you ever noticed how all bad guys know at least one stripper?
Hardison: Yeah? Well, you know at least a hundred, what does that say about you?
Eliot: Hey. I'm a bad guy.
Hardison: Yeah? Well, you know at least a hundred, what does that say about you?
Eliot: Hey. I'm a bad guy.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: Don't get mad, but…I may have spilled slushie in your car.
Eliot: That's like forty-four ounces, Hardison!
Hardison: It's not that much…
Eliot: The lid is floating in the damn floorboard, man!
Hardison: Wow. You are…
Eliot: It's running into the backseat!
Hardison: Very dramatic.
Eliot: When we get back to the office, you're cleaning this up.
Hardison: Seriously?
[Spots Jack leaving the bar]
Eliot: You're cleaning this up!
Hardison: That's our guy.
Eliot: Don't try to change the subject!
Eliot: That's like forty-four ounces, Hardison!
Hardison: It's not that much…
Eliot: The lid is floating in the damn floorboard, man!
Hardison: Wow. You are…
Eliot: It's running into the backseat!
Hardison: Very dramatic.
Eliot: When we get back to the office, you're cleaning this up.
Hardison: Seriously?
[Spots Jack leaving the bar]
Eliot: You're cleaning this up!
Hardison: That's our guy.
Eliot: Don't try to change the subject!
TV Show: Leverage
[Hardison is stuck near a bomb that is about to explode.]
Hardison: Okay, it's a computer bomb, I know computers. It's a computer bomb, uhh… we, we gotta reboot the system!
Eliot: You want me to kick it?
Hardison: God, I'm goin' to die.
Hardison: Okay, it's a computer bomb, I know computers. It's a computer bomb, uhh… we, we gotta reboot the system!
Eliot: You want me to kick it?
Hardison: God, I'm goin' to die.
TV Show: Leverage