Leverage Quotes
Hardison: I am the Super-Skrull. Okay? I have all y'all's skills. I hack, I grift, I thieve.
Eliot: Do you fight?
Hardison: I have a dog for that. Name's Megabite.
. . .
[later, after Nate reveals the part he needs Hardison to play in the con]
Hardison: You know what you've done? You asked me to play the violin in front of people!
Nate: Well, you said you were good.
Hardison: As a child! That was ten years ago!
Nate: Oh, c'mon, c'mon Hardison. Listen, you know, told me you could do anything. You told me you were Super-Skull!
Hardison: SKRULL! Skrull! Get it right. Super…Super…Super-Skrull. Who has the combined powers of the Fantastic Four. One of whom is not Itzhak Perlman!
Eliot: Do you fight?
Hardison: I have a dog for that. Name's Megabite.
. . .
[later, after Nate reveals the part he needs Hardison to play in the con]
Hardison: You know what you've done? You asked me to play the violin in front of people!
Nate: Well, you said you were good.
Hardison: As a child! That was ten years ago!
Nate: Oh, c'mon, c'mon Hardison. Listen, you know, told me you could do anything. You told me you were Super-Skull!
Hardison: SKRULL! Skrull! Get it right. Super…Super…Super-Skrull. Who has the combined powers of the Fantastic Four. One of whom is not Itzhak Perlman!
TV Show: Leverage
[Hardison is digitally altering a photo of their mark]
Eliot: Nice. Make him—make him look drunker. And then richer.
Hardison: What you want me to do, give the man a pet tiger?
Eliot: Can you do that?
Eliot: Nice. Make him—make him look drunker. And then richer.
Hardison: What you want me to do, give the man a pet tiger?
Eliot: Can you do that?
TV Show: Leverage
Fake FBI Guy: FBI, sir. That young lady's in our custody.
Hardison: Aw see, you made two mistakes, bro. First, you flashed that fake ass FBI badge at me. Second, [points at Eliot] you spilled his coffee.
[later, back at homebase]
Nate: Where's Eliot?
Hardison: Oh, he had to change his shirt. He got coffee on it. And some blood and some teeth.
Hardison: Aw see, you made two mistakes, bro. First, you flashed that fake ass FBI badge at me. Second, [points at Eliot] you spilled his coffee.
[later, back at homebase]
Nate: Where's Eliot?
Hardison: Oh, he had to change his shirt. He got coffee on it. And some blood and some teeth.
TV Show: Leverage
Parker: So, I have to tell you something.
Hardison: Okay. [pause] Did--did you want to talk?
Parker: Yeah, okay. So, the thing is, I think that maybe I might be having feelings. Like weird, weird feelings... f-for...[pauses, looks around] pretzels.
Hardison: Pretzels. Okay. Well, they're right here. When you want them.
Hardison: Okay. [pause] Did--did you want to talk?
Parker: Yeah, okay. So, the thing is, I think that maybe I might be having feelings. Like weird, weird feelings... f-for...[pauses, looks around] pretzels.
Hardison: Pretzels. Okay. Well, they're right here. When you want them.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: Now, I rigged my laptop to record your com. Now this means I can alter your pitch from anywhere to make you sound like Darth Eliot...
Eliot: [voice like Darth Vader] I don't speak on command, Hardison.
Hardison: ...to Spencer Smurf.
Eliot: [voice like Smurf] I don't speak on command, Hardison.
Eliot: Hardison.
Hardison: Don't ever do the Smurf thing again?
Eliot: Right.
Eliot: [voice like Darth Vader] I don't speak on command, Hardison.
Hardison: ...to Spencer Smurf.
Eliot: [voice like Smurf] I don't speak on command, Hardison.
Eliot: Hardison.
Hardison: Don't ever do the Smurf thing again?
Eliot: Right.
TV Show: Leverage
Kaylin: Have you ever been in love?
Eliot: Once.
Kaylin: How'd it end?
Eliot: I promised her I would be there for her.
Kaylin: What's wrong with that?
Eliot: 'Cause I made the same promise to the United States Government, and I found out you can't make that promise more than once.
Eliot: Once.
Kaylin: How'd it end?
Eliot: I promised her I would be there for her.
Kaylin: What's wrong with that?
Eliot: 'Cause I made the same promise to the United States Government, and I found out you can't make that promise more than once.
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: There's a price on my head in three different countries and I'm fairly certain a fatwa was issued!
Hardison: When you get back, we gonna have us a serious conversation about the difference between caution and paranoia.
Eliot: When you've done the things I've done, there's no such thing as paranoia.
Hardison: When you get back, we gonna have us a serious conversation about the difference between caution and paranoia.
Eliot: When you've done the things I've done, there's no such thing as paranoia.
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: Sometimes you--you--you don't get a second chance to get it right.
Parker: Why not?
Sophie: Rules of life.
Nate: But that's exactly what we do. We change the rules.
Parker: Why not?
Sophie: Rules of life.
Nate: But that's exactly what we do. We change the rules.
TV Show: Leverage
Kaylin: You can come with me, you know. You're a natural-born country singer if I've ever seen one. Maybe the next Johnny and June?
Eliot: Some roads, you start going down, well, you can't turn back, and... I'm about a hundred miles down one of those right now.
Eliot: Some roads, you start going down, well, you can't turn back, and... I'm about a hundred miles down one of those right now.
TV Show: Leverage
[after racing to catch up to their mark]
Parker: Who knew a sedan could hit 140?
Sophie: Parker, you are never to get behind the wheel of a car again. Never.
Parker: Who knew a sedan could hit 140?
Sophie: Parker, you are never to get behind the wheel of a car again. Never.
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: That's the difference between a real soldier and this Halloween outfit you have going on. You'd kill to protect your rights. A real soldier would die to protect someone else's.
TV Show: Leverage
Parker: We have to convince them that they need us. It will be tough, and they might shoot you a little.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: How is this car going to get Lefty's attention?
Parker: You bring a car like this to a local chop-shop, they all know a new player is in town. Besides this is Lefty's car.
Parker: You bring a car like this to a local chop-shop, they all know a new player is in town. Besides this is Lefty's car.
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: They're going to kill Hardison.
Hardison: They're gonna kill who? Uh-uh no they ain't! Nate, you gotta stall!
Hardison: They're gonna kill who? Uh-uh no they ain't! Nate, you gotta stall!
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: You better say something, I swear on my momma I will blow a hole through your bedroom and Spider-man out of the side of this building.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: [to the Russian mobsters he's just locked in a cage] Age of the geek baby, stay strong.
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: [after Parker tossed a crowbar at him] You don't throw crowbars at people!
Parker: Sorry. [mimicked whining] "You don't throw crowbars at people." Could have just tasered him.
Parker: Sorry. [mimicked whining] "You don't throw crowbars at people." Could have just tasered him.
TV Show: Leverage
Jimmy: You're more ruthless than me, crueler than me. Maybe you are better than me. I'm proud of you son.
Nate: Enjoy your retirement.
Nate: Enjoy your retirement.
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: The Skagway Shuffle.
Nate: Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
Hardison: See, now y'all are just making stuff up.
Sophie: It's like the Fiddle Game.
Nate: Yeah, only underground.
Parker: Is Eliot going to be the fiddle again?
Nate: No.
Sophie: No.
Parker: Can I be the fiddle?
Nate: No.
Sophie: No.
Nate: Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
Hardison: See, now y'all are just making stuff up.
Sophie: It's like the Fiddle Game.
Nate: Yeah, only underground.
Parker: Is Eliot going to be the fiddle again?
Nate: No.
Sophie: No.
Parker: Can I be the fiddle?
Nate: No.
Sophie: No.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: Apparently their computer system is also an antique... possibly steam powered, which would be cool.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: Micro detonator, surround sound, dust spray, modified oxygen meter, and...what? What? Yes, I do spend my weekends making these things. Man, w-we're coming to a mine. It's not rocket science.
Nate: [referring to Eliot's outfit] I like it. It gives him a whole Village People construction-dude thing.
Hardison: Thank you.
Nate: [referring to Eliot's outfit] I like it. It gives him a whole Village People construction-dude thing.
Hardison: Thank you.
TV Show: Leverage
Hardison: What are you doing?
Parker: [laying down for a nap] Stealing souls is hard work.
Parker: [laying down for a nap] Stealing souls is hard work.
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: But when I started telling them about one of my finest jobs ever...
Eliot: But I know she's lying.
Hardison: She's a grifter. It's her job.
Parker: Wait, I'm confused. Now, she's lying about lying?
Eliot: But I know she's lying.
Hardison: She's a grifter. It's her job.
Parker: Wait, I'm confused. Now, she's lying about lying?
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: [after letting himself into a guy's car] I'm gonna need a couple of things from you. I need your clothes, and I need your little invite to this party. This can go two ways--you can give them to me, and I can stuff you in the trunk of this car, which, by the way, looks pretty comfortable. Not a bad night. Or, you can not give them to me... and I can do exactly what you'd expect a crazy guy in your back seat to do to you. [The doctor hands over his keys] That's the right choice.
TV Show: Leverage
Eliot: [on the phone] Why are you sending second rate thugs to try and kill me?
Thug: Hmmmm? [looks offended]
Eliot: If I'm not honest with you, you'll never improve.
Thug: [nods, grunts in agreement.]
Thug: Hmmmm? [looks offended]
Eliot: If I'm not honest with you, you'll never improve.
Thug: [nods, grunts in agreement.]
TV Show: Leverage
Sophie: It was en route. That's like stealing my mail.
Parker: What, is stealing mail a crime? Oops.
Parker: What, is stealing mail a crime? Oops.
TV Show: Leverage