Machete Kills Quotes
Voz: Mendez wasn't my only boogeyman. North Korea, Russia, I have a Mendez everywhere. And in a matter of hours, they'll launch on one another, throwing the world into gargantuan, unrecoverable anarchy. Too many syllables? The world is fucked.
Machete: Why?
Voz: This world must end in order for a more perfect one to emerge. And like it or not, Mr. Machete, you're coming with me.
Machete: Why?
Voz: This world must end in order for a more perfect one to emerge. And like it or not, Mr. Machete, you're coming with me.
Movie: Machete Kills
Freedom Force Leader: Drop it! Reach for the sky before I put that illegal face in a tussle.
El Camale¾n 4: You have it all wrong. This is all a big mistake.
Freedom Force Leader: Only mistake you made was dancin' across that border, muchacho.
El Camale¾n 4: No, no, you don't understand. I am not Mexican.
Freedom Force Leader: Don't move your hands, amigo!
El Camale¾n 4: Sir. really, listen to my voice. Do I sound Mexican? I am from Ontario, for fuck's sake!
Freedom Force Leader: Canadian and Mexican. Double-whammy. Smoke this fool! [the Freedom Force members gun down El Camale¾n 4]
El Camale¾n 4: You have it all wrong. This is all a big mistake.
Freedom Force Leader: Only mistake you made was dancin' across that border, muchacho.
El Camale¾n 4: No, no, you don't understand. I am not Mexican.
Freedom Force Leader: Don't move your hands, amigo!
El Camale¾n 4: Sir. really, listen to my voice. Do I sound Mexican? I am from Ontario, for fuck's sake!
Freedom Force Leader: Canadian and Mexican. Double-whammy. Smoke this fool! [the Freedom Force members gun down El Camale¾n 4]
Movie: Machete Kills
Police Captain: Why help the U.S.?
Machete: 'Cause I'm the only that can.
Police Captain: You're always the sensitive one, Machete.
Machete: 'Cause I'm the only that can.
Police Captain: You're always the sensitive one, Machete.
Movie: Machete Kills
Miss San Antonio: For crying out loud, will one of you well-paid, well-trained gentlemen please shoot that motherfucker!
Movie: Machete Kills
[last lines] Mr. President: I'm President Rathcock, and I approve this message.
Movie: Machete Kills
Voz: Get that Bastard! Try not to get too many of yourselves killed in the process! [laughs]
Movie: Machete Kills
Messenger: Lady... please. Help me.
La Camale¾n: You and all your drug dealing compadras just derailed my pursuit, so frankly... I'm leaning in another direction entirely.
Messenger: Give me mercy.
La Camale¾n: There's about three things I can give you. And they are all in the chamber of this gun. Straight up... [turns gun sideways]
La Camale¾n: Or with some flair?
Messenger: What?
La Camale¾n: Straight up, or with flair?
Messenger: Whatever is the more interesting way to die. [turns the gun upside down and shoots him]
La Camale¾n: Weirdo.
La Camale¾n: You and all your drug dealing compadras just derailed my pursuit, so frankly... I'm leaning in another direction entirely.
Messenger: Give me mercy.
La Camale¾n: There's about three things I can give you. And they are all in the chamber of this gun. Straight up... [turns gun sideways]
La Camale¾n: Or with some flair?
Messenger: What?
La Camale¾n: Straight up, or with flair?
Messenger: Whatever is the more interesting way to die. [turns the gun upside down and shoots him]
La Camale¾n: Weirdo.
Movie: Machete Kills
Lieutenant Brass: Immigration? What the fuck is this?
Sartana: What the fuck does it look like? Get your ass on the ground.
Lieutenant Brass: Sweetheart, I'd lose whatever strapdick you rode in on... [shoots Lt. Brass in his leg]
Sartana: Don't call me sweetheart.
Sartana: What the fuck does it look like? Get your ass on the ground.
Lieutenant Brass: Sweetheart, I'd lose whatever strapdick you rode in on... [shoots Lt. Brass in his leg]
Sartana: Don't call me sweetheart.
Movie: Machete Kills
Miss San Antonio: The M4 carbine long-range. It's got reflex sights, micro-polymer grip, a customized trigger. Fast enough to nip a jackrabbit on roller skates. That is, of course, you happen to come across a jackrabbit on roller skates.
Movie: Machete Kills
Mendez: I got news for you, cabr¾n. Killing me ain't in the cards. 'Cause I'm the ticking, ticking, wrath of Mexico, motherfucker.
Movie: Machete Kills
El Camele¾n 1: You wouldn't happen to have a Popsicle I could stick up my ass, would you?
Movie: Machete Kills
El Camale¾n 2: Your sense of direction doesn't inspire confidence, se±or. Allow me to translate. [shoots him]
Movie: Machete Kills
Luz: One minute they're tearin' ass for the border, the next they're vanished. Disappeared without a trace. It's like aliens abducted by goddamn aliens.
Movie: Machete Kills
Luz: I can't see, but I can still kick your ass.
Voz: That's why I'm taking you with me.
Voz: That's why I'm taking you with me.
Movie: Machete Kills