Major Payne Quotes
Major Benson Winifred Payne: [Payne has just been informed that the USMC has run out of battles for him to fight, AND has passed him over for promotion to Lieutenant Colonel] General, are you telling me that nowhere in the military is there any longer a job for trained human weapons of destruction such as myself?
Gen. Decker: Most blood is now shed in the halls of Congress, Payne. Guys like us are becoming dinosaurs.
Major Benson Winifred Payne: General, surely there must be SOMEBODY left who needs some killing, or some killing done for them.
Gen. Decker: Sorry, Major. There's nobody left. You've killed them all.
Gen. Decker: Most blood is now shed in the halls of Congress, Payne. Guys like us are becoming dinosaurs.
Major Benson Winifred Payne: General, surely there must be SOMEBODY left who needs some killing, or some killing done for them.
Gen. Decker: Sorry, Major. There's nobody left. You've killed them all.
Movie: Major Payne
Major Payne: Let's move it, you turds. You'll get no sympathy from me. You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphillis. That's where you'll find my sympathy. This ain't no walk in the park. Let's go. Hustle, hustle, hustle. [Woliger has barely got out of the tube]
Major Payne: Hey Dumbo, you should be able to be able to fly through those tubes with the big ass ears, boy.
Cadet Dotson: Yeah Dumbo, fly baby, fly.
Major Payne: Hey Williams. [Cadet Williams as turns around and taps the deaf kid]
Major Payne: You two Marlee Matlin son. If you don't get across that rope. I'm a hang you with it.
Cadet Dotson: He'll hang you with it. [laughs]
Major Payne: Heathcoat, you get your fat body up over that wall.
Cadet Dotson: Get your fat pork body over that...
Major Payne: [to Dotson] You shut up. [to the cadets]
Major Payne: Nobody leaving here until you can get off this wall one minute and twenty seconds.
Cadet Alex Stone: Come one, he can't do it. Leave him alone, I can barely. It's slippery out here.
Major Payne: Slippery he says. Does Charlie care about slippery? Only thing he knows is slip your throat! What if this was a life or death situation?
Cadet Alex Stone: Well it's not a life or death situation.
Major Payne: [pulls the pin from his hand grenade] It is now. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. [the cadets scream as the bolted out the course, except for Alex]
Cadet Alex Stone: Come on, guys. What are you crazy? It's just a dummy grenade. [Major Payne tosses the grenade and it explodes. Stone ducks as a tree falls of
Major Payne: Hey Dumbo, you should be able to be able to fly through those tubes with the big ass ears, boy.
Cadet Dotson: Yeah Dumbo, fly baby, fly.
Major Payne: Hey Williams. [Cadet Williams as turns around and taps the deaf kid]
Major Payne: You two Marlee Matlin son. If you don't get across that rope. I'm a hang you with it.
Cadet Dotson: He'll hang you with it. [laughs]
Major Payne: Heathcoat, you get your fat body up over that wall.
Cadet Dotson: Get your fat pork body over that...
Major Payne: [to Dotson] You shut up. [to the cadets]
Major Payne: Nobody leaving here until you can get off this wall one minute and twenty seconds.
Cadet Alex Stone: Come one, he can't do it. Leave him alone, I can barely. It's slippery out here.
Major Payne: Slippery he says. Does Charlie care about slippery? Only thing he knows is slip your throat! What if this was a life or death situation?
Cadet Alex Stone: Well it's not a life or death situation.
Major Payne: [pulls the pin from his hand grenade] It is now. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. [the cadets scream as the bolted out the course, except for Alex]
Cadet Alex Stone: Come on, guys. What are you crazy? It's just a dummy grenade. [Major Payne tosses the grenade and it explodes. Stone ducks as a tree falls of
Movie: Major Payne
[Major Payne after noticing the big biker]
Major Payne: Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum. What beanstalk you fall from?
Major Payne: Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum. What beanstalk you fall from?
Movie: Major Payne