Malcolm in the Middle Quote

[Hal continues pretending to have Hysterical Conversion Disorder as he continues using his feet and rips off sheets of toilet paper]
Lois: It's been four days, Hal. I tried to be patient, but this has gone one long enough. You have to snap out of it. Look I admit you've been resourceful and you've learned to do so many things. And the Sex has been interesting.
[She walks in as Hal is now using his feet to pour in some tooth paste on his to his tooth brush to brush his teeth. He raises his brush to do so and she walks into the master bedroom.]
Lois: But you can't go on living like this. Don't think I don't know what this is all about. You're trying to avoid making this decision. This isn't going to work and frankly this is beneath you. It's the cowards way out, Hal. You don't think I don't like a paralyzed vacation. Everyone waiting on me hand and foot. You know what? It doesn't work that way. You can't keep making up ridiculous illnesses to get out of what you don't want to do.
[sees Hal pulling out a long thread of dental floss to floss his teeth]
Lois: Oh for God's sake. Do you have any idea how insane you're acting? I'm just glad your boys aren't here to see this.
[sees Hal raise his feet to floss his teeth]'
Lois: Oh Hal, you changed Jamie's diapers with those feet.
[she leaves disgusted]

TV Show: Malcolm in the Middle

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