Man of the House Quotes
Ben Archer: [Ben has to choose an Indian name for Jack] How about... Squatting Dog?
Jack Sturgess: [Jack gives him a surprised look] Squatting Dog? That's the best you could come up with?
Ben Archer: I had a dog once who had a terrible case of the squirts. He was my best friend in the whole world.
Jack Sturgess: Didn't you have any other pets?
Ben Archer: I had a squirrel named Numb Nuts.
Jack Sturgess: [sighs] I think I'll take... Squatting Dog.
Jack Sturgess: [Jack gives him a surprised look] Squatting Dog? That's the best you could come up with?
Ben Archer: I had a dog once who had a terrible case of the squirts. He was my best friend in the whole world.
Jack Sturgess: Didn't you have any other pets?
Ben Archer: I had a squirrel named Numb Nuts.
Jack Sturgess: [sighs] I think I'll take... Squatting Dog.
Movie: Man of the House
Ben Archer: [as the bad guys are trying to figure out the best way to kill Ben and Jack] If you were really clever, you'd wrap us in wet rawhide, and when it dried it would shrink and squeeze organs through our orifices like a tube of toothpaste.
Movie: Man of the House
Roland Sharp: ...and you couldn't possibly be talking about my mother, because my mother is allergic to dogs!
Movie: Man of the House
Teresa: [Sharp has a pizza delivered at dinner, while the girls all have homemade salads] What is that?
Roland Sharp: The Carnivore. Pepperoni, sausage, ground beef, ham and olive loaf all gathered together in one savory pie. With jalepenos. Want some?
Heather: Yes. No!
Roland Sharp: Extra thick crust.
Anne: I can't, I'm on the zone.
Roland Sharp: What zone?
Anne: The proper combination of protein, fat and carbohydrates.
Roland Sharp: This combination here is proper as hell.
Barb: I'm a total Atkins girl.
Evie: I'm on Weight Watchers, you'll probably blow all your daily points with just one bite.
Roland Sharp: This baby has one point and one point only, and that is tasting good.
Roland Sharp: The Carnivore. Pepperoni, sausage, ground beef, ham and olive loaf all gathered together in one savory pie. With jalepenos. Want some?
Heather: Yes. No!
Roland Sharp: Extra thick crust.
Anne: I can't, I'm on the zone.
Roland Sharp: What zone?
Anne: The proper combination of protein, fat and carbohydrates.
Roland Sharp: This combination here is proper as hell.
Barb: I'm a total Atkins girl.
Evie: I'm on Weight Watchers, you'll probably blow all your daily points with just one bite.
Roland Sharp: This baby has one point and one point only, and that is tasting good.
Movie: Man of the House
Tommy: You see the taller blonde. Is that Anne or Barb? I can never remember.
Roland Sharp: HEBAT.
Tommy: What?
Roland Sharp: HEBAT. It's a mnemonic device: Heather, Evie, Barbara, Anne, Theresa. HEBAT.
Roland Sharp: HEBAT.
Tommy: What?
Roland Sharp: HEBAT. It's a mnemonic device: Heather, Evie, Barbara, Anne, Theresa. HEBAT.
Movie: Man of the House