Melrose Place Quotes
Chris Marchette: [whispering to Sydney] Diddling the boss, I here? That's one way of staying out of the nuthouse where you belong.
Sydney Andrews: [slaps him across the face] You bastard! Stay away from me! You here me? [Jake enters]
Jake Hanson: [to Chris] All right, that's it. Get out!
Chris Marchette: [feigning innocence] Now wait a minute! That girl's out of her mind! She attacked me for no reason! I did absolutely nothing.
Jake Hanson: [scoffs] I don't give a damn! Get out of my place. You insult Sydney, you insult me too.
Jane Andrews Mancini: [walks up; completely oblivious to Chris' actions] Jake, Chris and I only came here to make peace.
Chris Marchette: Jane's right. I only said hello to Sydney, and she just slaped me.
Jake Hanson: Take your lies and your ego elsewhere, Crocodile Dundee!
Chris Marchette: I am not lying!
Jake Hanson: I said, get out. You too, Jane. Out!
Jane Andrews Mancini: Sydney is one lying to you Jake. She has you so fooled. You have no idea what a sick person you are involved with.
Jake Hanson: Oh, that's funny. I was about to say the exact same thing to you about Chris!
Sydney Andrews: [slaps him across the face] You bastard! Stay away from me! You here me? [Jake enters]
Jake Hanson: [to Chris] All right, that's it. Get out!
Chris Marchette: [feigning innocence] Now wait a minute! That girl's out of her mind! She attacked me for no reason! I did absolutely nothing.
Jake Hanson: [scoffs] I don't give a damn! Get out of my place. You insult Sydney, you insult me too.
Jane Andrews Mancini: [walks up; completely oblivious to Chris' actions] Jake, Chris and I only came here to make peace.
Chris Marchette: Jane's right. I only said hello to Sydney, and she just slaped me.
Jake Hanson: Take your lies and your ego elsewhere, Crocodile Dundee!
Chris Marchette: I am not lying!
Jake Hanson: I said, get out. You too, Jane. Out!
Jane Andrews Mancini: Sydney is one lying to you Jake. She has you so fooled. You have no idea what a sick person you are involved with.
Jake Hanson: Oh, that's funny. I was about to say the exact same thing to you about Chris!
TV Show: Melrose Place
Jane Andrews Mancini: I'm sorry. I've been so distracted lately.
Jo Beth Reynolds: It's PMS - Post Marriage Syndrome.
Jo Beth Reynolds: It's PMS - Post Marriage Syndrome.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[about Megan]
Dr. Michael Mancini: If you get us back together, what's in it for you?
Jennifer Mancini: [Godfather voice] One day Michael, I will come to you for a favor, and when I do, you will grant me that favor... no matter what it is. Capiche?
Dr. Michael Mancini: [pause] You're the weird one in the family... you know that, right?
Dr. Michael Mancini: If you get us back together, what's in it for you?
Jennifer Mancini: [Godfather voice] One day Michael, I will come to you for a favor, and when I do, you will grant me that favor... no matter what it is. Capiche?
Dr. Michael Mancini: [pause] You're the weird one in the family... you know that, right?
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Jane is trying to comfort Richard after Mackenzie's death]
Richard Hart: [coldly] Keep your clothes on Jane, it's not gonna work this time.
Richard Hart: [coldly] Keep your clothes on Jane, it's not gonna work this time.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[last lines]
Billy Campbell: [as he begins typing his next entry] Move over, Doogie Howser.
Billy Campbell: [as he begins typing his next entry] Move over, Doogie Howser.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[about Kimberly]
Sydney: What's happening in her world is not exactly happening in ours.
Sydney: What's happening in her world is not exactly happening in ours.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[about life on the West coast]
Samantha Reilly Campbell: Everyone out here has this kinky sort of desperation.
Samantha Reilly Campbell: Everyone out here has this kinky sort of desperation.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[about Megan]
Dr. Michael Mancini: If you get us back together, what's in it for you?
Jennifer Mancini: ["Godfather" voice] One day Michael, I will come to you for a favor, and when I do, you will grant me that favor... no matter what it is. Capiche?
Dr. Michael Mancini: [pause] You're the weird one in the family... you know that, right?
Dr. Michael Mancini: If you get us back together, what's in it for you?
Jennifer Mancini: ["Godfather" voice] One day Michael, I will come to you for a favor, and when I do, you will grant me that favor... no matter what it is. Capiche?
Dr. Michael Mancini: [pause] You're the weird one in the family... you know that, right?
TV Show: Melrose Place
[about Michael and Kimberly]
Bruce Teller: Attractive, intelligent-looking, upscale... who are they?
Amanda Woodward: The Doctors Frankenstein.
Bruce Teller: Attractive, intelligent-looking, upscale... who are they?
Amanda Woodward: The Doctors Frankenstein.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Amanda and Kyle are kissing in front of Jennifer at the Jazz Club]
Jennifer Mancini: Are we working? Or are you gonna mate right in front of me?
Jennifer Mancini: Are we working? Or are you gonna mate right in front of me?
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Amanda on men]
Amanda: Get used to the fact that even the most perfect, sensitive guy is, bottom line,a dog. I mean, he might be a well-behaved dog, but he still howls at the moon and grabs the first leg he can get ahold of.
Amanda: Get used to the fact that even the most perfect, sensitive guy is, bottom line,a dog. I mean, he might be a well-behaved dog, but he still howls at the moon and grabs the first leg he can get ahold of.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Amanda's trying to evict Taylor]
Taylor Davis McBride: There are laws against This. Tenants rights, squaters rights, human rights.
Amanda Woodward: Well, look who's talking about being human... the most in-human person on Earth.
Taylor Davis McBride: Oh really, giving up your title so soon?
Taylor Davis McBride: There are laws against This. Tenants rights, squaters rights, human rights.
Amanda Woodward: Well, look who's talking about being human... the most in-human person on Earth.
Taylor Davis McBride: Oh really, giving up your title so soon?
TV Show: Melrose Place
[At Kyle and Amanda's engagement party]
Taylor Davis McBride: I think before the main course comes out, that one of you should give a toast to the happy couple. Now, anyone will do, except for the wannabe war-bride Christine. I don't think you'd have anything nice to say, now would you?
Kyle McBride: Damnit Taylor, I said back off.
Taylor Davis McBride: Hey! Excuse me if I think it's inappropriate that you bring the girl you've been dreaming about for years here.
Amanda Woodward: This is none of your business, *waitress*. Now go get us more food.
Taylor Davis McBride: I think before the main course comes out, that one of you should give a toast to the happy couple. Now, anyone will do, except for the wannabe war-bride Christine. I don't think you'd have anything nice to say, now would you?
Kyle McBride: Damnit Taylor, I said back off.
Taylor Davis McBride: Hey! Excuse me if I think it's inappropriate that you bring the girl you've been dreaming about for years here.
Amanda Woodward: This is none of your business, *waitress*. Now go get us more food.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Before Amanda's wedding to Kyle]
Taylor Davis McBride: Amanda! I couldn't find anything blue, but I did find something old... a picture of Kyle and me on *our* wedding day. Oh hell, you already got the something borrowed bit with my husband. Too bad he hasn't shown! All the guests out there are wondering if maybe he stood you up.
Amanda Woodward: You know, I don't remember you being added to the guest list, so why don't you get out of here?
Taylor Davis McBride: Gladly. Oh, by the way... that dress is hideous.
Taylor Davis McBride: Amanda! I couldn't find anything blue, but I did find something old... a picture of Kyle and me on *our* wedding day. Oh hell, you already got the something borrowed bit with my husband. Too bad he hasn't shown! All the guests out there are wondering if maybe he stood you up.
Amanda Woodward: You know, I don't remember you being added to the guest list, so why don't you get out of here?
Taylor Davis McBride: Gladly. Oh, by the way... that dress is hideous.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[calling Burns, Mancini & Cooper]
Dr. Michael Mancini: Megan! I need a favor!
Megan Lewis Mancini McBride: Uh, you have the wrong number!
Dr. Michael Mancini: Megan! I need a favor!
Megan Lewis Mancini McBride: Uh, you have the wrong number!
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Carter is regrettably avoiding Sydney's phone calls]
Walter: Why don't we just disconnect the phone? You don't really need a private line.
Carter Gallivan: No, of course not. Cause I'm not allowed to have a private life. Doesn't fit into my schedule. Right Walter?
Walter: Why don't we just disconnect the phone? You don't really need a private line.
Carter Gallivan: No, of course not. Cause I'm not allowed to have a private life. Doesn't fit into my schedule. Right Walter?
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Discussing their mutual divorces over dinner, where Peter has dressed Taylor in Beth's conservative clothing]
Dr. Peter Burns: I mean, first Craig and now Kyle. You're losing ground Amanda. It's almost slutty.
Kyle McBride: Hey. That's a lady your talking to.
Taylor Davis McBride: Oh that's funny. The male slut defending the female slut.
Kyle McBride: Better a slut than a conniving bitch.
Amanda Woodward: Or worse, a conniving bitch in some *ugly* ass clothes.
Dr. Peter Burns: I mean, first Craig and now Kyle. You're losing ground Amanda. It's almost slutty.
Kyle McBride: Hey. That's a lady your talking to.
Taylor Davis McBride: Oh that's funny. The male slut defending the female slut.
Kyle McBride: Better a slut than a conniving bitch.
Amanda Woodward: Or worse, a conniving bitch in some *ugly* ass clothes.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Eric has sent Megan flowers]
Dr. Michael Mancini: [jealous] This is a doctor's office. Patients have allergies, I have allergies.
Megan Lewis Mancini: No you don't.
Dr. Michael Mancini: Well, I'm developing them.
Dr. Michael Mancini: [jealous] This is a doctor's office. Patients have allergies, I have allergies.
Megan Lewis Mancini: No you don't.
Dr. Michael Mancini: Well, I'm developing them.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[giving Peter shopping advice]
Taylor Davis McBride: You never buy your second wife a nicer ring than your first.
Taylor Davis McBride: You never buy your second wife a nicer ring than your first.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[greeting Taylor while leaving Kyle's Restaurant]
Amanda Woodward: Put on weight, Taylor?
Amanda Woodward: Put on weight, Taylor?
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Jane is trying to comfort Richard after Mackenzie's death]
Richard Hart: [coldly] Keep your clothes on Jane, it's not gonna work this time.
Richard Hart: [coldly] Keep your clothes on Jane, it's not gonna work this time.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Jo has removed Richard's towel for the 2nd time]
Richard Hart: I'm not safe in a towel around you, am I?
Richard Hart: I'm not safe in a towel around you, am I?
TV Show: Melrose Place
[learning that Megan is a hooker]
Dr. Michael Mancini: I've had a lot of practice dealing with women who, shall we say... stray from the norm.
Dr. Michael Mancini: I've had a lot of practice dealing with women who, shall we say... stray from the norm.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Megan and Ryan have lovemaking fest]
Megan: Next time I'm going grocery shopping before the orgy.
Megan: Next time I'm going grocery shopping before the orgy.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[Taylor wants to go with Michael to his college reunion]
Dr. Michael Mancini: The answer is no! You're probably too pregnant to travel anyway.
Taylor Davis McBride: I'm not that delicate!
Dr. Michael Mancini: No, but you'll probably throw the plane out of balance.
Dr. Michael Mancini: The answer is no! You're probably too pregnant to travel anyway.
Taylor Davis McBride: I'm not that delicate!
Dr. Michael Mancini: No, but you'll probably throw the plane out of balance.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[to Coop, about an unconcious Lexi]
Dr. Peter Burns: I leave for five minutes and you show up. What is it with you and unconscious women?
Dr. Peter Burns: I leave for five minutes and you show up. What is it with you and unconscious women?
TV Show: Melrose Place
[to Lexi, about their marriage and his affair with Kimberly]
Dr. Brett "Coop" Cooper: You drove me to Kimberly. Think back, we barely talked, we fought all the time. Come to think of it, even in a coma Kimberly had more sex appeal.
Dr. Brett "Coop" Cooper: You drove me to Kimberly. Think back, we barely talked, we fought all the time. Come to think of it, even in a coma Kimberly had more sex appeal.
TV Show: Melrose Place
[to Matt]
Dr. Michael Mancini: I don't know how it works with your kind, but when I buy a woman a closet full of clothes, it's because I want to see her naked.
Dr. Michael Mancini: I don't know how it works with your kind, but when I buy a woman a closet full of clothes, it's because I want to see her naked.
TV Show: Melrose Place