Melrose Place Quotes


Amanda Woodward: Divorced, married, widowed, and all in what? 48 hours?

TV Show: Melrose Place

Amanda Woodward: I just think sometimes I'm a little too blunt with people and I should work on that.
Jo Beth Reyonds: Couldn't hurt.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Amanda Woodward: If you're going to kiss me, don't do that pent-up macho anger thing. I don't like bruises.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Amanda Woodward: Is your memory that selective or are you just suffering from some grand delusion?

TV Show: Melrose Place

Amanda Woodward: Look who's talking about being human, the most in-human person on Earth.
Taylor Davis McBride: Oh, giving up your title so soon?

TV Show: Melrose Place

Amanda Woodward: What can I say, when God was passing out business sense, Jane was in the back of the line getting her nails done.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Amanda: Until now I have tolerated you childish behavior but this crosses the line.
Craig: I just thought that since San Francisco went so well...
Amanda: ...you'd see if you could charm me into bed? There's only one man who can do that, and that's my husband, whom I happen to love very much.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Dr. Brett "Coop" Cooper: Is it weird to show compassion? To want to give life back to a patient?
Dr. Michael Mancini: Dr. Frankenstein said the same thing.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Dr. Brett "Coop" Cooper: You know, you have got to be the lowest form of life I've encountered since the last time I stepped on a slug!
Dr. Michael Mancini: Well why don't you just leave before I throw you out with the rest of the medical waste.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Jo Reynolds: I'm going to cancel the paper. It's just more proof that the world sucks.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Brooke: Maybe it's time for us to bury the hatchet.
Alison: Gee, you'd have to pull it out of my back first.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Kyle McBride: [to Amanda] I love you! [She slaps him]
Amanda Woodward: This isn't about love. It's about two dead women... Christine and me. And I killed us both.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Kyle McBride: I guess he wanted a little more out of the relationship than you did.
Sydney: Yeah, you can say that again.
Kyle McBride: I guess he wanted a little more out of the relationship than you did.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Kyle McBride: You're allright Amanda. I always thought you were a shrieking fish wife, but you're allright.
Amanda Woodward: Well, you're not so bad yourself for someone I thought of as a hen-pecked know nothing. [pause]
Kyle McBride: Hen-pecked?
Amanda Woodward: ...know-nothing.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Lexi Sterling Cooper: Get out of my way, moron!
Dr. Michael Mancini: It's "Doctor Moron" for you!

TV Show: Melrose Place

Lexi Sterling Cooper: Listen, why don't you do us all a favor and get another helicopter crash or kidnapped?
Amanda Woodward: You know, Lexi, when I look at you all I see is a bitter woman uncapable of love.
Lexi Sterling Cooper: Amanda, it's not me you see, it's your own reflection.

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Lexi Sterling Cooper: They took my picture, too. My new name is now 26401.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Richard: Keep your clothes on Jane, it's not gonna work this time.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Taylor Davis McBride: Michael, listen... I don't want a relationship, I don't want a commitment... I need your sperm.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Taylor Davis McBride: So where are you off to? To spend the day with your friend Eric plotting the death of my restaurant?
Megan Lewis Mancini: You know, I don't work for Eric anymore, so if you'll exscuse me...
Taylor Davis McBride: How come? He get tired of you and throw you out of bed?
Megan Lewis Mancini: For your information, I never slept with Eric. The only woman he wants in bed is Amanda. He would give up the world for one night with her, and guess what? She would never do it. You can kiss your restaurant goodbye. Personally, I hope you end up in the gutter.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Taylor Davis McBride: The baby's kicking again.
Dr. Michael Mancini: Well, of course he is. You're his mother. I'm surprised he's not screaming bloody murder and holding up a liquor store.

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Taylor: Good morning Amanda.
Amanda Woodward: Goodbye Taylor.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Megan: I'm a prostitute, okay? I belong here.
Michael: We're both prostitutes. Practically everybody I know is a prostitute.
Megan: At least everybody on this street.
Michael: Would you bud out.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Alison: You know Jake as well as anyone, and he's supposedly this man of action, but his only solution on how to handle a wigged out Jane is to do nothing. What is that?
Billy: I find it really weird you coming to me about this.
Alison: Well I'm 'that' desperate.
Billy: Well 'that' desperate could lead to Jake throwing another punch at me all right.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Nurse Amy: She's your wife's landlord. That would be your present wife, number four, isn't it? And she wants all your belongings out of the house by to-night.
Michael: And did she say why?
Nurse Amy: Nooo, but I'm sure we'll be reading about it in tomorrow morning's newspaper.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Jane Andrews Mancini: I'm sorry. I've been so distracted lately.
Jo Beth Reynolds: It's PMS - Post Marriage Syndrome.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Dr. Michael Mancini: It's this building... it makes people nuts. It must be something in the water, something to do with the pool. Come to think of it, I was normal when I moved in.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Dr. Michael Mancini: What was I thinking? That you'd actually listen to me? That you'd actually stay out of my life? Course you won't. You can't. You haven't got the capabilities! It's like asking an ape to do algebra.
Taylor Davis McBride: Now now Michael. Apes are very intelligent.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Michael: Call me old-fashioned, but I'd like to know who I'm sleeping with.

TV Show: Melrose Place

Michael: How you doin' Syd?
Sydney: You scum.
Michael: Yeah, I miss you too.

TV Show: Melrose Place