Metalocalypse Quotes
Skwissgar: Heys, Pickle! Try nots to gets Hepastitis Cs from dats! Yeah, those girls are pretty skankys.
Nathan: Yeah, those girls are...I'd do 'em.
Skwissgar: Yeah, I do dems too.
Pickles: [nervously] Should we call it a night?
Seth: Oh no you fuckin' don't, I just fuckin' ordered shots!
Nathan: Yeah, those girls are...I'd do 'em.
Skwissgar: Yeah, I do dems too.
Pickles: [nervously] Should we call it a night?
Seth: Oh no you fuckin' don't, I just fuckin' ordered shots!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: He's trying to escape, get him!
Pickles: Nooo! Nooo, noo, let me go!
Nathan: [grabs him] What, you were gonna run away and leave us here?!
Pickles: I didn't know! I didn't know! I didn't know it was gonna be like this! I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know—[Murderface punches him several times.] Stop hitting me!
Murderface: Can't help it! [punches him again]
Pickles: Did you hear that speech, everybody's on his side, they — let's leave...let's leave now, let's go! Let's go!
Nathan: Don't be stupid, Pickles.
Pickles: Did you hear him, talkin' about Dethklok business endeavors—
Nathan: I know, Pickles, I know, look; we can't leave. Not yet. [pause] It's just too funny.
Pickles: Nooo! Nooo, noo, let me go!
Nathan: [grabs him] What, you were gonna run away and leave us here?!
Pickles: I didn't know! I didn't know! I didn't know it was gonna be like this! I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know—[Murderface punches him several times.] Stop hitting me!
Murderface: Can't help it! [punches him again]
Pickles: Did you hear that speech, everybody's on his side, they — let's leave...let's leave now, let's go! Let's go!
Nathan: Don't be stupid, Pickles.
Pickles: Did you hear him, talkin' about Dethklok business endeavors—
Nathan: I know, Pickles, I know, look; we can't leave. Not yet. [pause] It's just too funny.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: It's too hilarious!
Nathan: Man, it's really good...
Seth: Hey, Pickles! I need your uh, y'know, credit card for a second.
Nathan: Man, it's really good...
Seth: Hey, Pickles! I need your uh, y'know, credit card for a second.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Huh, the mid-west. Whoa. A bunch of Swedes cames over two hundred years ago and got fat and ugly. Heh, I loves it.
Toki: [drunk] Aaaaw, you know it! Haa hooo! Fats and ugly- [gags and spills his drink]
Skwisgaar: [annoyed] Takes it easy on the sauce.
Toki: Aw, yous... takes this on the sauce, yous nots the boss of me. I gonna go gets schnapps, you wants one?
Skwisgaar: Yeah...
Toki: [drunk] Aaaaw, you know it! Haa hooo! Fats and ugly- [gags and spills his drink]
Skwisgaar: [annoyed] Takes it easy on the sauce.
Toki: Aw, yous... takes this on the sauce, yous nots the boss of me. I gonna go gets schnapps, you wants one?
Skwisgaar: Yeah...
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Mes gonna do solo albums. All Toki. It's gonna be called Toki... IS THE KING!!! Oh, hold on. Mmm- [gags] Oh I got to throws up- [gags] throws up and takes a nap. [throws up on his suit] GOOD NIGHTS! [passes out]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: This is great. This is some good drama.
Murderface: You can't pay for this.
Nathan: You can't. It...it simply is.
Murderface: It's like an eclipse or something, it's just, you gotta be there.
Skwissgar: Guys, we gotta leaves, the cops is here!
Toki: The pig sirens is goin' off, scramble!
Murderface: You can't pay for this.
Nathan: You can't. It...it simply is.
Murderface: It's like an eclipse or something, it's just, you gotta be there.
Skwissgar: Guys, we gotta leaves, the cops is here!
Toki: The pig sirens is goin' off, scramble!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: I've never seen so much blood at a wedding. Awesome.
Nathan: Yeah, you really beat up your brother.
Pickles: But I feel bad for him.
Nathan: But you just said you hated him, why would...eh.
Pickles: Yeah, I mean, I hate him, but...
Skwisgaar: Ya but it's not unsposed to make sense. For you see, wes are aimless, hate-filled animals, scamperings away into the nights.
Toki: That's rights. For you see, that's what families is. Peoples whats you hates.
Pickles: Yeah, I guess you're right.
Nathan: Yeah, you really beat up your brother.
Pickles: But I feel bad for him.
Nathan: But you just said you hated him, why would...eh.
Pickles: Yeah, I mean, I hate him, but...
Skwisgaar: Ya but it's not unsposed to make sense. For you see, wes are aimless, hate-filled animals, scamperings away into the nights.
Toki: That's rights. For you see, that's what families is. Peoples whats you hates.
Pickles: Yeah, I guess you're right.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Oh, Pickle don't look good. Pickle looks scared!
Liz Bane: He's fine. This is outstanding exposure.
Nathan: Who the hell is this lady?
Toki: Oh, that's Pickle new P.R. lady.
Nathan: She's not a groupie?
Toki: No.
Nathan: Never mind then.
Liz Bane: He's fine. This is outstanding exposure.
Nathan: Who the hell is this lady?
Toki: Oh, that's Pickle new P.R. lady.
Nathan: She's not a groupie?
Toki: No.
Nathan: Never mind then.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: [drunk] AND THE WINNER IS "CINNAMON BUNS!!!" STARRING PICKLES THE DRUMMER, DIRECTED BY VODKA AND BEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! [collapses]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Why don't we just start our own P.R.?
Skwissgar: Yeahs, all its is telling somebody something. And thats what I does right now.
Nathan: Yeah. And we should do it with the 3 of us right?
Murderface: Yeah let's do it.
Skwissgar: Yeah, let's do that.
Toki: Hey, how comes you don't asks me? The 3, it's the 4 of us.
Nathan: You were all the way over there, you- you we weren't even- we couldn't even see you.
Toki: I just heard everythings and i want to be parts of it too.
Skwissgar: Tokis, yous toos lates. That's what you gets for trying to play video game.
Toki: WHAT'S TOO LATE!?! I STANDS RIGHT HERE! You just excludes me on purpose, you know it!
Nathan: That's bad P.R. right there.
Skwissgar: Yeahs, all its is telling somebody something. And thats what I does right now.
Nathan: Yeah. And we should do it with the 3 of us right?
Murderface: Yeah let's do it.
Skwissgar: Yeah, let's do that.
Toki: Hey, how comes you don't asks me? The 3, it's the 4 of us.
Nathan: You were all the way over there, you- you we weren't even- we couldn't even see you.
Toki: I just heard everythings and i want to be parts of it too.
Skwissgar: Tokis, yous toos lates. That's what you gets for trying to play video game.
Toki: WHAT'S TOO LATE!?! I STANDS RIGHT HERE! You just excludes me on purpose, you know it!
Nathan: That's bad P.R. right there.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: We want our own PR person, like Pickles has.
Ofdensen: But I am a PR person.
Murderface: But we want a real PR person.
Ofdensen: I am a real PR person.
Skwisgaar: No, we wants a reals PRs person!
Ofdensen: I am a real PR person--
Toki: But we wants a lady!
Ofdensen: I am--fine.
Ofdensen: But I am a PR person.
Murderface: But we want a real PR person.
Ofdensen: I am a real PR person.
Skwisgaar: No, we wants a reals PRs person!
Ofdensen: I am a real PR person--
Toki: But we wants a lady!
Ofdensen: I am--fine.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Host: And look who's here, it's the guy who's everywhere now, Dethklok's drummer Pickles--
Pickles: (waving liquor bottle) Yeeah, woo-hoo!
Host: --along with his publicist Liz Bane.
Pickles: How ya doin'?
Host: His face is everywhere these days. People are calling you the most popular member of Dethklok. How does that make you feel?
Pickles: I got two words: drunk and horny.
Pickles: (waving liquor bottle) Yeeah, woo-hoo!
Host: --along with his publicist Liz Bane.
Pickles: How ya doin'?
Host: His face is everywhere these days. People are calling you the most popular member of Dethklok. How does that make you feel?
Pickles: I got two words: drunk and horny.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Liz Bane: You've been behind that drum kit for way too long, Pickles. This is your time. It's time... for Pickles.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Now, publicity is all about being seen.
Nathan: Yeah, okay, okay, that's a good point, because what I was gonna say is publicity is all about being seen.
Murderface: That's what I just--I thought I was running this meeting, you're just repeating!
Nathan: Oh, I'm sorry, you're right, please.
Murderface: We need to get our faces out to where everybody can see us--
Skwisgaar: Likes Pickle on TV!
Murderface: Exactly! But everybody goes on TV--
Nathan: Yeah, everybody goes on TV, everyone does, you're right.
Murderface: Yes, just my point, everybody goes on TV--
Nathan: Everybody's already on there, why would you wanna do that?
Murderface: Yes--
Nathan: Go, go the other way.
Murderface: Grr... yes. We need to go where--
Nathan: Where nobody's gone yet.
Toki: Oh, radio!
Nathan: Toki, get outta here, you're not in the PR club.
Toki: It's stupidest PR club, it doesn't work!
Murderface: THANK YOU JUST I'M RUNNING THIS MEETING! WE NEED TO... just somewhere that's not on TV. FUCK! (throws laptop)
Nathan: Yeah, okay, okay, that's a good point, because what I was gonna say is publicity is all about being seen.
Murderface: That's what I just--I thought I was running this meeting, you're just repeating!
Nathan: Oh, I'm sorry, you're right, please.
Murderface: We need to get our faces out to where everybody can see us--
Skwisgaar: Likes Pickle on TV!
Murderface: Exactly! But everybody goes on TV--
Nathan: Yeah, everybody goes on TV, everyone does, you're right.
Murderface: Yes, just my point, everybody goes on TV--
Nathan: Everybody's already on there, why would you wanna do that?
Murderface: Yes--
Nathan: Go, go the other way.
Murderface: Grr... yes. We need to go where--
Nathan: Where nobody's gone yet.
Toki: Oh, radio!
Nathan: Toki, get outta here, you're not in the PR club.
Toki: It's stupidest PR club, it doesn't work!
Murderface: THANK YOU JUST I'M RUNNING THIS MEETING! WE NEED TO... just somewhere that's not on TV. FUCK! (throws laptop)
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgar: What are they gots there grapesdrink?
Nathan: Yeah they're drinking some fucking grape drink that's awesome.
Toki: Oh grapesdrink.
Murderface: That's a pretty fancy grape drink.
Skwisgar: How comes theys gets to have grapesdrink?
Nathan: Yeah how come we can't have any fucking grape drink? That's fucking not fucking fair.
Nathan: Yeah they're drinking some fucking grape drink that's awesome.
Toki: Oh grapesdrink.
Murderface: That's a pretty fancy grape drink.
Skwisgar: How comes theys gets to have grapesdrink?
Nathan: Yeah how come we can't have any fucking grape drink? That's fucking not fucking fair.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Liz Bane: Pickles you're late, we have to hurry.
Pickles: Ok.
Liz Bane: Time is running out.
Pickles: Ok.
Liz Bane: This is our destiny.
Pickles: Ok let's just play this show and get out of here. We got any songs with destiny in the title?
Nathan: Ummm, no, but I can stick it in it doesn't matter no one can understand what I'm saying anyway.
Pickles: Ok.
Liz Bane: Time is running out.
Pickles: Ok.
Liz Bane: This is our destiny.
Pickles: Ok let's just play this show and get out of here. We got any songs with destiny in the title?
Nathan: Ummm, no, but I can stick it in it doesn't matter no one can understand what I'm saying anyway.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Gives to me this waterproof guitar that makes sure can floats.
Toki: And gives me waterproof guitars what shoots out bugs repellsgents.
Skwisgaar: Gives to me magic gloves whats can makes my hands fly.
Toki: Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs.
Skwisgaar: Gives to me the swords that glows, which shows me which way that is north.
Toki: Oh and gives to me battleaxe what shows which way's south!
Skwisgaar: Stops copys me.
Toki: You stops copys me.
Toki: And gives me waterproof guitars what shoots out bugs repellsgents.
Skwisgaar: Gives to me magic gloves whats can makes my hands fly.
Toki: Oh, gives to me opposites werewolves that turns to humans whens the moons comes outs.
Skwisgaar: Gives to me the swords that glows, which shows me which way that is north.
Toki: Oh and gives to me battleaxe what shows which way's south!
Skwisgaar: Stops copys me.
Toki: You stops copys me.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar & Toki: [at the same time in constant rhythm, sometimes getting faster] Stops copys me! Stops copys me! Stops copys me! [repeats]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: Oh oh, we gotta get some bait! They got pretty big fish down there, get some big worms, and... you know what, get snakes. Snakes are the biggest worms out there.
Ofdensen: I'm sure there'll be plenty of snakes down there. It's the Amazon.
Pickles: There you go, penny-pinchin' again.
Ofdensen: I'm sure there'll be plenty of snakes down there. It's the Amazon.
Pickles: There you go, penny-pinchin' again.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Did you know there's an Amazonian catfish that can swim up your pee and lay eggs in your ding-dong?!
Pickles: OK, that's it, I'm done eating, alright, just... augh... that's gross!
Murderface: You can mock me but watch out when you pee!
Pickles: Just back off, alright? This is a horrible combination of beef jerky breath and repulsive information, OK? I'm not interested.
Murderface: Fine, but you've been warned. You've been warned, Pickles!
Pickles: OK, that's it, I'm done eating, alright, just... augh... that's gross!
Murderface: You can mock me but watch out when you pee!
Pickles: Just back off, alright? This is a horrible combination of beef jerky breath and repulsive information, OK? I'm not interested.
Murderface: Fine, but you've been warned. You've been warned, Pickles!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: [Sunbathing naked] Feel that jungle air, wind just whistlin' through...
Skwisgaar: Hey, I makes some sandwiches...[Spits out sandwich and drops plate] Oh, Murderface!
Pickles: Oh, man...MURDERFACE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Murderface: My god, you are so repressed.
Pickles: It's got nothin' to do with repressed!
Skwisgaar: How abouts this, I solves the problem--puts your shirts back on!
Pickles: Okay, your wiener, it's disgusting how it's all gnarled, it's like you stuck it in a hornet's nest!
Murderface: Well I happen to play bass with it, there's callus buildup.
Pickles: I don't need to look at it!
Murderface: It's like Amazon boat-rash or something. Can I please just take a leak before I pull my shorts up?
Pickles: Fine, go ahead, but just promise to never do this again, okay?
Skwisgaar: Hey, I makes some sandwiches...[Spits out sandwich and drops plate] Oh, Murderface!
Pickles: Oh, man...MURDERFACE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Murderface: My god, you are so repressed.
Pickles: It's got nothin' to do with repressed!
Skwisgaar: How abouts this, I solves the problem--puts your shirts back on!
Pickles: Okay, your wiener, it's disgusting how it's all gnarled, it's like you stuck it in a hornet's nest!
Murderface: Well I happen to play bass with it, there's callus buildup.
Pickles: I don't need to look at it!
Murderface: It's like Amazon boat-rash or something. Can I please just take a leak before I pull my shorts up?
Pickles: Fine, go ahead, but just promise to never do this again, okay?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: Oh god, now I can see your ass! It's like cottage cheese!
Murderface: Just let me do this...
Skwisgaar: Quick questions, do you shaves yours ass, because you gots a lots of stubbles goings on there.
Murderface: Quick answer, fuck you!
Pickles: Work out or something, that's a problem area.
Murderface: Just let me do this...
Skwisgaar: Quick questions, do you shaves yours ass, because you gots a lots of stubbles goings on there.
Murderface: Quick answer, fuck you!
Pickles: Work out or something, that's a problem area.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: [whispering] Hey, whatcha readin' there?
Nathan: [whispering] Nothin', just...hey man, why don't you brush your teeth?
Murderface[whispering] You can't brush your teeth in a library, that's ridiculous.
Nathan: [whispering] Nothin', just...hey man, why don't you brush your teeth?
Murderface[whispering] You can't brush your teeth in a library, that's ridiculous.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: [excitedly] They're getting yopo!! If we're gonna die, we're gonna die high!!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Ate her husband in soup...
Pickles: That is so totally Cannibal Corpse.
Pickles: That is so totally Cannibal Corpse.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: [talking about being governor] We don't fill out paper work, and fill out government forms, and wear suits and ties like...grr, dildos! [realizes; to Ofdensen] No offense!
Ofdensen: None taken.
Ofdensen: None taken.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Senator Stampingston: Nathan Explosion is now the governor of Florida!
Crozier: This is an outrage, how can we stop this?
Orlaag: Consider what the people would do, General.
Stampingston: I think it's time that we go to purple alert![a purple light begins randomly blinking and a buzzer sounds whenver the light is shone]
Crozier: This is an outrage, how can we stop this?
Orlaag: Consider what the people would do, General.
Stampingston: I think it's time that we go to purple alert![a purple light begins randomly blinking and a buzzer sounds whenver the light is shone]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: Being governor has its advantages. You could be quite powerful.
Nathan: Oh really?! And I could just put all my friends in charge of everything, and I could just rape and pillage the economy, and line my pockets with money, and I could go mad with power?
Ofdensen: You actually could do that, you know... it's technically-
Murderface: I WANNA BE IN CHARGE OF THE NATIONAL GUARD!
Nathan: Alright you got it!
Toki: I WANTS TO HELPS PEOPLE!
Nathan: YOU GOT IT!
Murderface: I NEED A SECRETARY!
Nathan: YOU GOT IT!
Pickles: I WANNA BE THE AMBASSADOR OF CHINA!
Nathan: YOU GOT IT!
Skwisgaar: I wants no parts of dis, dis ams craps! Governments!
Pickles: Dude, Skwisgaar, you know that Florida has the highest population of old ladies in old lady homes?
Murderface: You could be in charge of old... you know what!
Skwisgaar: Then, I WILLS BE IN CHARGE OF DATS! DEMS OLD LADIES!
Nathan: YOUUU GOT IT!
Nathan: Oh really?! And I could just put all my friends in charge of everything, and I could just rape and pillage the economy, and line my pockets with money, and I could go mad with power?
Ofdensen: You actually could do that, you know... it's technically-
Murderface: I WANNA BE IN CHARGE OF THE NATIONAL GUARD!
Nathan: Alright you got it!
Toki: I WANTS TO HELPS PEOPLE!
Nathan: YOU GOT IT!
Murderface: I NEED A SECRETARY!
Nathan: YOU GOT IT!
Pickles: I WANNA BE THE AMBASSADOR OF CHINA!
Nathan: YOU GOT IT!
Skwisgaar: I wants no parts of dis, dis ams craps! Governments!
Pickles: Dude, Skwisgaar, you know that Florida has the highest population of old ladies in old lady homes?
Murderface: You could be in charge of old... you know what!
Skwisgaar: Then, I WILLS BE IN CHARGE OF DATS! DEMS OLD LADIES!
Nathan: YOUUU GOT IT!
TV Show: Metalocalypse