Metalocalypse Quotes
Facebones: Hey folks, it's me. Facebones!
Klokateer: All right! Facebones! [another Klokateer shocks him]
Facebones: I'm here to talk about a very serious issue! Sexual harassment in the workplace! But first, what is sexual harassment? Well, sexual harassment is the act of degrading people, with your sexuality. It takes the power away from the people being harassed, and makes the harasser, more powerful than ever!
Murderface: I got fucking peppersprayed. How-how does that give me power?
Facebones: Compliments in the workplace can easily become as construtant as flirtation. Now, a short example. In this example, a Klokateer will be equipped with a shocking mechanism, that will help guide him into behaving properly at work!
Klokateer: All right! Facebones! [another Klokateer shocks him]
Facebones: I'm here to talk about a very serious issue! Sexual harassment in the workplace! But first, what is sexual harassment? Well, sexual harassment is the act of degrading people, with your sexuality. It takes the power away from the people being harassed, and makes the harasser, more powerful than ever!
Murderface: I got fucking peppersprayed. How-how does that give me power?
Facebones: Compliments in the workplace can easily become as construtant as flirtation. Now, a short example. In this example, a Klokateer will be equipped with a shocking mechanism, that will help guide him into behaving properly at work!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Male Klokateer: Is that a new belt?
Female Klokateer: Yes, it is.
Male Klokateer: It looks very good. [gets shocked] AHHH!!!
Facebones: Saying that your belt looks good can be taken as a sexual offense. Let's try that again!
Female Klokateer: Yes, it is.
Male Klokateer: It looks very good. [gets shocked] AHHH!!!
Facebones: Saying that your belt looks good can be taken as a sexual offense. Let's try that again!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Male Klokateer: Is that a new belt?
Female Klokateer: Yes.
Male Klokateer: That is good information to have. [red light goes off with an alarm]
Facebones: Saying something like, "that is good information to have" could be kind of creepy. And they could think that he's compiling information for a parking lot attack, or a home invasion. And thaaat's harassment!
Female Klokateer: Yes.
Male Klokateer: That is good information to have. [red light goes off with an alarm]
Facebones: Saying something like, "that is good information to have" could be kind of creepy. And they could think that he's compiling information for a parking lot attack, or a home invasion. And thaaat's harassment!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Male Klokateer: AHHHHHHHH, FUUUUCK!
Facebones: Cursing in the workplace can also make people feel awkward. Now let's try that again.
Facebones: Cursing in the workplace can also make people feel awkward. Now let's try that again.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Male Klokateer: Is that a new belt?
Female Klokateer: Yes, it is.
Male Klokateer: [gets shocked right away] AHHHHHHH!
Facebones: Best to avoid all those compliments and continue working! Now let's watch that again without all those confusing compliments!
Female Klokateer: Yes, it is.
Male Klokateer: [gets shocked right away] AHHHHHHH!
Facebones: Best to avoid all those compliments and continue working! Now let's watch that again without all those confusing compliments!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Facebones: Well done! But what if our klokateer didn't want to make any complimants, but instead, a fun joke?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Voice: NO JOKING IN THE WORKPLACE! NO JOKING IN THE WORKPLACE!
Facebones: Humor is hurtful and can ruin lives. We're almost done folks. We're rounding the corner to finish our sexual harassment fun marathon! And also practical information! Do not linger around in restrooms. Keep your office door open so the people can see that you're clearly not jacking off in there. If you get a boner during work, best excuse yourself and go home! Here's a list of t hings to remember to avoid being caught in a tricky sexual harassment lawsuit. HERE WE GO! [speaking fast] Err on the side of caution do not tell people they look good do not compare people to each other dress conservatively do not make fun of people resist the urge to be friendly this could be taken as flirting if you do happen to accidentally flirt do not make up for it by being overly friendly this could be taken as an aggressive attack.
Murderface: [annoyed] WILL THIS THING NEVER END?!?!
Facebones: Humor is hurtful and can ruin lives. We're almost done folks. We're rounding the corner to finish our sexual harassment fun marathon! And also practical information! Do not linger around in restrooms. Keep your office door open so the people can see that you're clearly not jacking off in there. If you get a boner during work, best excuse yourself and go home! Here's a list of t hings to remember to avoid being caught in a tricky sexual harassment lawsuit. HERE WE GO! [speaking fast] Err on the side of caution do not tell people they look good do not compare people to each other dress conservatively do not make fun of people resist the urge to be friendly this could be taken as flirting if you do happen to accidentally flirt do not make up for it by being overly friendly this could be taken as an aggressive attack.
Murderface: [annoyed] WILL THIS THING NEVER END?!?!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: So this girl wants to get it on with you?
Toki: Yeahs, the 15ths.
Nathan: Why is that important?
Toki: That's when she says she ams ovulatings and that's the chances are highs for whats to be pregnants.
Pickles: So she wants to have planned sex with you.
Nathan: Sex designed to procreate? Ugh! Fucking gross.
Pickles: You can't tell me when to have a boner! That's my business!
Toki: And you knows what else? [brings up Caroline's photo on his Dethphone] This is what she looks like!
Nathan: Ohhh boy...
Toki: She looks like a gorilla whats been shaved!!!
Pickles: Yeah, well, your in the hot seat. Look, you want some advice, I got some for you, alright? When the 15th comes, you just gotta listen. Alright?
Toki: Listens?
Pickles: You need listen to your dick Toki. Your dick will tell you exactly what you need to do, alright? Listen to your dick.
Nathan: Yeah, listen to your dick.
Toki: Listens to my dick!
Nathan: And also, don't ever get into a room that you can't get out of.
Toki: Yeahs, the 15ths.
Nathan: Why is that important?
Toki: That's when she says she ams ovulatings and that's the chances are highs for whats to be pregnants.
Pickles: So she wants to have planned sex with you.
Nathan: Sex designed to procreate? Ugh! Fucking gross.
Pickles: You can't tell me when to have a boner! That's my business!
Toki: And you knows what else? [brings up Caroline's photo on his Dethphone] This is what she looks like!
Nathan: Ohhh boy...
Toki: She looks like a gorilla whats been shaved!!!
Pickles: Yeah, well, your in the hot seat. Look, you want some advice, I got some for you, alright? When the 15th comes, you just gotta listen. Alright?
Toki: Listens?
Pickles: You need listen to your dick Toki. Your dick will tell you exactly what you need to do, alright? Listen to your dick.
Nathan: Yeah, listen to your dick.
Toki: Listens to my dick!
Nathan: And also, don't ever get into a room that you can't get out of.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Congratulations, you can now call your parents and safely say you are now Murdertooth recording artists, Get Thee Hence!
Get Thee Hence Band: Yeaaah! [start celebrating]
Lead Singer: So where's our advance, son?
Murderface: Uhh I'm sorry I don't even know what you're talking about.
Bass Player: Where's our fucking advance, you heard us.
Murderface: Oh oh oh the advance! Oh you mean advance money!
Lead singer: Wait wait wait. Hold up hold up hold up. Are you sure you're even a fucking label?
Toki: Kinds of.
Murderface: [shoves Toki away] Toki shut up! We're the fucking real deal, bros. But look. Shouldn't we get a contract in place or something?
DJ: You guys hear that fucking back peddling bullshit fucking suits.
Murderface: What? No, man! We're not suits! We're your bros. Toki, get my checkbook. [gets checkbook] Sooo, what uhh like five thousand?
Bass Player: What do I look like, a fucking hooker?
Murderface: Fifteen.
Lead Singer: Keep coming.
Murderface: Thirty.
Lead Singer: Uh uh.
Murderface: [growing nervous] Forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, hundred, hundred-ten [faster] hundred-twenty, hundred thirty, hundred forty-hundred fifty, hundred sixty, hundred seventy, hundred eighty, hundred ninety, two hundred! Two-ten, two-twenty, two-thirty, two-forty, two-fifty, two-sixty, two-seventy, two-eighty, two-ninety, three hundred! Five...hundred thousand dollars! And that is my final offer-five-ten. Five-twenty? Five-thirty, five-forty, six hundred? Seven hundred. Eight hundred. Nine hundred...a million.
Get Thee Hence Band: Yeaaah! [start celebrating]
Lead Singer: So where's our advance, son?
Murderface: Uhh I'm sorry I don't even know what you're talking about.
Bass Player: Where's our fucking advance, you heard us.
Murderface: Oh oh oh the advance! Oh you mean advance money!
Lead singer: Wait wait wait. Hold up hold up hold up. Are you sure you're even a fucking label?
Toki: Kinds of.
Murderface: [shoves Toki away] Toki shut up! We're the fucking real deal, bros. But look. Shouldn't we get a contract in place or something?
DJ: You guys hear that fucking back peddling bullshit fucking suits.
Murderface: What? No, man! We're not suits! We're your bros. Toki, get my checkbook. [gets checkbook] Sooo, what uhh like five thousand?
Bass Player: What do I look like, a fucking hooker?
Murderface: Fifteen.
Lead Singer: Keep coming.
Murderface: Thirty.
Lead Singer: Uh uh.
Murderface: [growing nervous] Forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, hundred, hundred-ten [faster] hundred-twenty, hundred thirty, hundred forty-hundred fifty, hundred sixty, hundred seventy, hundred eighty, hundred ninety, two hundred! Two-ten, two-twenty, two-thirty, two-forty, two-fifty, two-sixty, two-seventy, two-eighty, two-ninety, three hundred! Five...hundred thousand dollars! And that is my final offer-five-ten. Five-twenty? Five-thirty, five-forty, six hundred? Seven hundred. Eight hundred. Nine hundred...a million.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Charles: Uh, but back to this rehab buisness, uh, it's a recap, it's costing us a lot, uh, and the local authorities want a scape goat.
Nathan: So we offered them you. 'Cause you were drinking a lot!
Pickles: What are you talking about?! It was a technical malfunction!
Nathan: Denial! Huh, yeah. Denial.
Pickles: The hoverdrums, the drumsticks-
Toki: Denials.
Murderface: Denial!
Skwisgaar: Textbooks case.
Nathan: Right there, [holds up a textbook entitled "Denial"] says in the book.
Skwisgaar: Yeah.
Nathan: Look, Pickles, to put it bluntly, you can't handle your booze.
Murderface: Can't handle your booze, Pickles!
Skwisgaar: Yeahs, lightweights!
Nathan: You can't handle your booze, and WE CAN! [shows various photos of Dethklok members, not including Pickles, intoxicated and causing chaos] Flying hoverdrums all across Mozambique, who does that? Really.
Pickles: It's part of the show!
Nathan: Uh huh. Yeah, excuses, excuses.
Pickles: [pause] I hate you all. I really do.
Nathan: [slams his beer bottle down] TRY TO CALM DOWN, PICKLES! THAT'S THE BOOZE TALKING!!
Nathan: So we offered them you. 'Cause you were drinking a lot!
Pickles: What are you talking about?! It was a technical malfunction!
Nathan: Denial! Huh, yeah. Denial.
Pickles: The hoverdrums, the drumsticks-
Toki: Denials.
Murderface: Denial!
Skwisgaar: Textbooks case.
Nathan: Right there, [holds up a textbook entitled "Denial"] says in the book.
Skwisgaar: Yeah.
Nathan: Look, Pickles, to put it bluntly, you can't handle your booze.
Murderface: Can't handle your booze, Pickles!
Skwisgaar: Yeahs, lightweights!
Nathan: You can't handle your booze, and WE CAN! [shows various photos of Dethklok members, not including Pickles, intoxicated and causing chaos] Flying hoverdrums all across Mozambique, who does that? Really.
Pickles: It's part of the show!
Nathan: Uh huh. Yeah, excuses, excuses.
Pickles: [pause] I hate you all. I really do.
Nathan: [slams his beer bottle down] TRY TO CALM DOWN, PICKLES! THAT'S THE BOOZE TALKING!!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: What am I supposed to do without booze? It's my whole life.
Nathan: You could try eating an apple. You can always eat an apple...instead of drinking.
Skwisgaar: You cans try, instead of doings drugs, jackings off while yous chokes yourselfs with a leather belts around your throats, close to the points of death.
Nathan: Yeah, that's a natural high.
Murderface: Yeah, that's good clean fun. I do it every morning.
Charles: Okay, guys. I really, really don't want to promote auto-erotic asphyxiation, okay?
Murderface: God! Live a little bit, Grandma!
Charles: I'm trying... it's an embarrassing death. You always have to color it differently in the media.
Murderface: I think it's an awesome death.
Nathan: Fucking bad-ass death.
Toki: Yeah, it's better than blowing up in the space shuttle.
Nathan: You could try eating an apple. You can always eat an apple...instead of drinking.
Skwisgaar: You cans try, instead of doings drugs, jackings off while yous chokes yourselfs with a leather belts around your throats, close to the points of death.
Nathan: Yeah, that's a natural high.
Murderface: Yeah, that's good clean fun. I do it every morning.
Charles: Okay, guys. I really, really don't want to promote auto-erotic asphyxiation, okay?
Murderface: God! Live a little bit, Grandma!
Charles: I'm trying... it's an embarrassing death. You always have to color it differently in the media.
Murderface: I think it's an awesome death.
Nathan: Fucking bad-ass death.
Toki: Yeah, it's better than blowing up in the space shuttle.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Charles: Now an unfortunate scheduling conflict has come because of all this, you have a show to perform, but Pickles will be in rehab.
Nathan: So we can't play with a drummer? You know that will take a lot of rhythmic elements out of the song, I mean, don't you think?
Charles: Well I think I figured something out. You can't play with Pickles, but you can play with a machine. You can play with a drum machine. [a machine is shown in the darkness, playing a Metal beat; the band members look at it in awe]
Toki: [flabbergasted] Whoa, looks at that! Ohhhh.
Nathan: Whoa, that's pretty fucking cool.
Murderface: Oh my gosh, that's bad-ass!
Charles: Well good then. In the meantime, you'll have to watch this instructional video in order to operate it.
Nathan: So we can't play with a drummer? You know that will take a lot of rhythmic elements out of the song, I mean, don't you think?
Charles: Well I think I figured something out. You can't play with Pickles, but you can play with a machine. You can play with a drum machine. [a machine is shown in the darkness, playing a Metal beat; the band members look at it in awe]
Toki: [flabbergasted] Whoa, looks at that! Ohhhh.
Nathan: Whoa, that's pretty fucking cool.
Murderface: Oh my gosh, that's bad-ass!
Charles: Well good then. In the meantime, you'll have to watch this instructional video in order to operate it.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Facebones: Hey pals, it's me! Faaaacebooooones!
Nathan: [drinking a beer] Hey look! Facebones!
Facebones: And let me introduce you to your newest robot pal and band member, X2P1158! He's the coolest high-tech drum machine known to humankind! He can play any style! Including, but not limited to Latin, soul, R&B, rock, adult contemporary, fusion, Latin fusion, and dildo fusion too! And he can outperform any drummer and is capable of performing up to 200 polyrhythms at once! It can also perform the deadly hexi-kicks! Check it out! [a sample of fast double kicks is heard] WOW! And most importantly, they can handle their alcohol! Not like SOME DRUMMERS!
Nathan: Holy shit! It's the perfect drummer!
Skwisgaar: We should totally finds one that plays rhythm guitars too.
Toki: That woulds be cools! Another robots pals!
Computer: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
Facebones: The X2P1158 is equipped with a 10,000 megaton self detonation device! And in rare cases become self aware and cause dangerous harm to humans! If that's the case contact the manufacturer! Not our problem! But that probably won't happen anywhooooo! Thanks for watching and have fun playing with the X2P1158! I'm Facebones! G-g-g-g-g-g....GOODBYE!
Nathan: Hey, Pickles isn'tgonna care that he's being replaced, is he?
Skwisgaar: Nah, he'll be fines! He am probably be settlings in real nicely and adjustings in rehabds.
Murderface: Yeah, he's probably living like a fucking king!
Nathan: [drinking a beer] Hey look! Facebones!
Facebones: And let me introduce you to your newest robot pal and band member, X2P1158! He's the coolest high-tech drum machine known to humankind! He can play any style! Including, but not limited to Latin, soul, R&B, rock, adult contemporary, fusion, Latin fusion, and dildo fusion too! And he can outperform any drummer and is capable of performing up to 200 polyrhythms at once! It can also perform the deadly hexi-kicks! Check it out! [a sample of fast double kicks is heard] WOW! And most importantly, they can handle their alcohol! Not like SOME DRUMMERS!
Nathan: Holy shit! It's the perfect drummer!
Skwisgaar: We should totally finds one that plays rhythm guitars too.
Toki: That woulds be cools! Another robots pals!
Computer: WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
Facebones: The X2P1158 is equipped with a 10,000 megaton self detonation device! And in rare cases become self aware and cause dangerous harm to humans! If that's the case contact the manufacturer! Not our problem! But that probably won't happen anywhooooo! Thanks for watching and have fun playing with the X2P1158! I'm Facebones! G-g-g-g-g-g....GOODBYE!
Nathan: Hey, Pickles isn'tgonna care that he's being replaced, is he?
Skwisgaar: Nah, he'll be fines! He am probably be settlings in real nicely and adjustings in rehabds.
Murderface: Yeah, he's probably living like a fucking king!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
[Toki visits Dr. Rockso in jail]
Dr. Rockso: Toki! Oh thank God! You gotta get Dr. Rockso outta here! I can't tell you what they're doing to me in the joint! [sobs]
Toki: Shuts up Rockso. You have beens a constant source of disappoint-ska-ments.
Dr. Rockso: [sobs again]
Toki: Enoughs! Ever since I knows you, you acts like a dildos! And you used the be a greats rock n' roll clown. You used to bes a star! But looks at you now. You're like a dogs whats bloateds and rottings on the sides of the roads. Likes a turds in the toilet ins an abandoned buildings whats no ones even flushed. Likes a dead whore whats the police won't even investigate 'cause no one cares-
Dr. Rockso: [annoyed] Okay baby, I get the idea...
Toki: Buts... den's I realized... That's it! You amn'ts on tops, and that's whys you haves slumpeds to the bottoms of garbage! You needs to be backs on tops Rockso! I'ms gonna bails you out, and helps you reforms your old band: Zazz Blammymatazz!
Dr. Rockso: Toki! Oh thank God! You gotta get Dr. Rockso outta here! I can't tell you what they're doing to me in the joint! [sobs]
Toki: Shuts up Rockso. You have beens a constant source of disappoint-ska-ments.
Dr. Rockso: [sobs again]
Toki: Enoughs! Ever since I knows you, you acts like a dildos! And you used the be a greats rock n' roll clown. You used to bes a star! But looks at you now. You're like a dogs whats bloateds and rottings on the sides of the roads. Likes a turds in the toilet ins an abandoned buildings whats no ones even flushed. Likes a dead whore whats the police won't even investigate 'cause no one cares-
Dr. Rockso: [annoyed] Okay baby, I get the idea...
Toki: Buts... den's I realized... That's it! You amn'ts on tops, and that's whys you haves slumpeds to the bottoms of garbage! You needs to be backs on tops Rockso! I'ms gonna bails you out, and helps you reforms your old band: Zazz Blammymatazz!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Alls we gots to do is sells a bunch of tickets, make sure Rockso performs and thens we makes our money backs and thens we goes on vacations -- easy!
Nathan: You think this is the first time that group of fucking clowns has tried to reunite?
Skwisgaar: Whats do you means?
Nathan: There was that one time they almost reunited, but Rockso drank a whole bunch of acid right before he went onstage and just spent the whole night spraying some lady with huge tits in the front row with a big spraying thing and they didn't even play one song. Cancelled. Then they were supposed to reunite, but Rockso, the night before, smuggled like twenty condoms worth of cocaine into his intestines. Then he ate some super-spicy Mexican food and the condoms melted and O.D.'d and he couldn't perform. Canceled. Then there was that one time they were about to reunite and like Rockso borrowed $20 million from the Ecuadorian drug cartel and they were like, "Give us our money back," and he's like, "No, I'm not gonna give you your money back," and they're like, "Well, we're gonna shoot you," and he's like, "Well, go ahead and shoot me" and they shot him. And now he pees out the side of his dick. And uh... they canceled the show. So, that's what I heard.
Pickles: Yeah, heard that.
Nathan: You think this is the first time that group of fucking clowns has tried to reunite?
Skwisgaar: Whats do you means?
Nathan: There was that one time they almost reunited, but Rockso drank a whole bunch of acid right before he went onstage and just spent the whole night spraying some lady with huge tits in the front row with a big spraying thing and they didn't even play one song. Cancelled. Then they were supposed to reunite, but Rockso, the night before, smuggled like twenty condoms worth of cocaine into his intestines. Then he ate some super-spicy Mexican food and the condoms melted and O.D.'d and he couldn't perform. Canceled. Then there was that one time they were about to reunite and like Rockso borrowed $20 million from the Ecuadorian drug cartel and they were like, "Give us our money back," and he's like, "No, I'm not gonna give you your money back," and they're like, "Well, we're gonna shoot you," and he's like, "Well, go ahead and shoot me" and they shot him. And now he pees out the side of his dick. And uh... they canceled the show. So, that's what I heard.
Pickles: Yeah, heard that.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: Look -- there's nothing I hate more than that fucking clown, but there isn't anything I won't do to hang out with MICKEY MOUSE!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Why didn'ts we brings our jackets?
Pickles: Dudes this is a totally humiliating way to die! Huddled together, like a bunch of homos!
Murderface: [whispering] Pickles...we need to use each others body heat to stay alive. I'm telling you here.
Pickles: Ugh, just try not to get a boner!
Murderface: YOU try not to get a boner from me!
Pickles: Dudes this is a totally humiliating way to die! Huddled together, like a bunch of homos!
Murderface: [whispering] Pickles...we need to use each others body heat to stay alive. I'm telling you here.
Pickles: Ugh, just try not to get a boner!
Murderface: YOU try not to get a boner from me!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: What the hell happened out there?! You!
Nathan: Yeah! How did we get left behind?!
Toki: Yeah! [punches Skwisgaar]
Skwisgaar: Owww!
Murderface: I just wanna get warm! I need more blankets! [struggling]
Ofdensen: Look you guys were out there for less than 15 minutes! God knows why you ran into the woods and didn't stay in the gas station!
Nathan: ...Well maybe we don't know, to go inside, when it's cold, alright?!
Nathan: Yeah! How did we get left behind?!
Toki: Yeah! [punches Skwisgaar]
Skwisgaar: Owww!
Murderface: I just wanna get warm! I need more blankets! [struggling]
Ofdensen: Look you guys were out there for less than 15 minutes! God knows why you ran into the woods and didn't stay in the gas station!
Nathan: ...Well maybe we don't know, to go inside, when it's cold, alright?!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen's Assistant: Pardon me sir, but did you just order 70 million units of-
Ofdensen: Yeah.
Ofdensen: Yeah.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: Did you...book a gig...in Syria...without telling me?!
Pickles: Eh...
Murderface: Why are you yelling at us?
Pickles: Eh...
Murderface: Why are you yelling at us?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: There's something bigger to think about. Our manager finally hates us...
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: Now, if for some reason, I can't convince one of these two countries to reschedule, we could be the cause of World War III...which will hurt record sales. And that's our bread and butter they're fucking with.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: Now listen, it's in our best interest to satisfy both parties to the best of my ability. For that, I may need a little patience on your- [Dethphone rings; clears throat] Sorry. [silences phone] I may need a little patience as I iron out the-
Assistant: Sir, it's Dethklok.
Ofdensen: Well, tell them "no." I'll have to return their phone call.
Assistant: They claim it's rather urgent.
Ofdensen: Urgent? Very well. [to the U.N. members] I'm very sorry. Uh guys, I'm in a meeting with the United Nations right now.
Pickles: Toki hit me in the arm and it really hurt!
Assistant: Sir, it's Dethklok.
Ofdensen: Well, tell them "no." I'll have to return their phone call.
Assistant: They claim it's rather urgent.
Ofdensen: Urgent? Very well. [to the U.N. members] I'm very sorry. Uh guys, I'm in a meeting with the United Nations right now.
Pickles: Toki hit me in the arm and it really hurt!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: I'm trying to solve the Israeli-Syrian issue with the U.N. right now and-
Nathan: Hey! It's Nathan! He hit me too! And he keeps on hitting all of us!
Ofdensen: Well uh, maybe if you-
Murderface: Hey! Hey!
Ofdensen: Mhmm?
Murderface: It's William.
Ofdensen: Yes.
Murderface: I was just standing there, and Toki walks up and slaps me hard, REALLY HARD on the back! And I didn't do ANYTHING to provoke him!
Skwisgaar: No neithers did any ofs us! And now I gots a fuckings welts all over my arms.
Ofdensen: Okay well listen-
Murderface: AND THE TV NEWS CALLED ME FAT!
Ofdensen: Okay. Guys?
Murderface: Y-yes?
Ofdensen: I'm really busy right now. In the mean time, try to tell Toki, that you don't appreciate being hit.
Nathan: YOU TELL HIM! He won't listen to us! We know he won't!
Murderface: No he won't! You have to do it!
Ofdensen If I get home before dinner, I'll talk to him, okay? I just- I can't do it right now, I'm in the-
Pickles: NO! NOW!
Murderface: We're watching you on TV! We'll know if you don't!
Nathan: Yeah, you're on C-SPAN!
Pickles: You're not doing it!
Ofdensen: Uh, my apologies ladies and gentlemen of the United Nations, I uh, have to uh...make a quick phone call. Toki. [clears throat][phone ringing] Uhh, hello, Toki, uh-
Toki's Answering Machine: Hi! You've reached the phones of Toki Wartooths. I'm not homes right now, but listens very carefullys to these followings instructions! After you hears a beep, please leaves detaileds message, on whos you are, and whats you lieks to talks to Toki Wartooths abo- [beep]
Nathan: Hey! It's Nathan! He hit me too! And he keeps on hitting all of us!
Ofdensen: Well uh, maybe if you-
Murderface: Hey! Hey!
Ofdensen: Mhmm?
Murderface: It's William.
Ofdensen: Yes.
Murderface: I was just standing there, and Toki walks up and slaps me hard, REALLY HARD on the back! And I didn't do ANYTHING to provoke him!
Skwisgaar: No neithers did any ofs us! And now I gots a fuckings welts all over my arms.
Ofdensen: Okay well listen-
Murderface: AND THE TV NEWS CALLED ME FAT!
Ofdensen: Okay. Guys?
Murderface: Y-yes?
Ofdensen: I'm really busy right now. In the mean time, try to tell Toki, that you don't appreciate being hit.
Nathan: YOU TELL HIM! He won't listen to us! We know he won't!
Murderface: No he won't! You have to do it!
Ofdensen If I get home before dinner, I'll talk to him, okay? I just- I can't do it right now, I'm in the-
Pickles: NO! NOW!
Murderface: We're watching you on TV! We'll know if you don't!
Nathan: Yeah, you're on C-SPAN!
Pickles: You're not doing it!
Ofdensen: Uh, my apologies ladies and gentlemen of the United Nations, I uh, have to uh...make a quick phone call. Toki. [clears throat][phone ringing] Uhh, hello, Toki, uh-
Toki's Answering Machine: Hi! You've reached the phones of Toki Wartooths. I'm not homes right now, but listens very carefullys to these followings instructions! After you hears a beep, please leaves detaileds message, on whos you are, and whats you lieks to talks to Toki Wartooths abo- [beep]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nine interviews viewable as extras on the Season 1 boxset. All but 'Future' and 'Food' are available online at Adult Swim
TV Show: Metalocalypse