Metalocalypse Quotes
Nathan: Most brutal album, huh? Ugh, I hate to say it, they're right! It's an amazing album! Congratulations Pickles. It's so chilling!
Murderface: What a great way to go out too! I only hope we can end that way! Clawing our eyes out, throwing up acid blood!
Toki: I officially take backs whatever I said about Snakes 'N' Barrels. You're amazing!
Skwisgaar: This music is likes potato chips. I can't stops listening to it! Plays it again!
Pickles: Alright.
Murderface: What a great way to go out too! I only hope we can end that way! Clawing our eyes out, throwing up acid blood!
Toki: I officially take backs whatever I said about Snakes 'N' Barrels. You're amazing!
Skwisgaar: This music is likes potato chips. I can't stops listening to it! Plays it again!
Pickles: Alright.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Snizzy: Oh no. My gu-girdle-itar is choking my tummy and my guts which is where my brains are.
Sammy: There's little civil war soldiers looking for my skin.
Antonio "Tony" DiMarco Thunderbottom: I'm aware of my tongue..
Snizzy: Get it off me!
Sammy: Oh no, I am also aware of my tongue.
Antonio: [screaming] I believe I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken. I'm a, I'm a chicken. I believe I am a chicken.
Sammy: There's little civil war soldiers looking for my skin.
Antonio "Tony" DiMarco Thunderbottom: I'm aware of my tongue..
Snizzy: Get it off me!
Sammy: Oh no, I am also aware of my tongue.
Antonio: [screaming] I believe I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken. I'm a chicken. I'm a, I'm a chicken. I believe I am a chicken.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles the Drummer: Ohh, [beer cans and bottles are heard clattering] I am gonna be well-burned, SHUT UP! Dammit! Dammit Stop! Shut Up! Shut up you crappy alarm! [alarm stops, Pickles clicks on a lamp to reveal many people in his room]
Fan: OH YEAH PICKLES! PICKLES WAKES UP JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!
Pickles: [shrieking] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE?! [fan ignores him and continues yelling] Oh god, I forgot... I hate fan day!
Fan: OH YEAH PICKLES! PICKLES WAKES UP JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!
Pickles: [shrieking] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE?! [fan ignores him and continues yelling] Oh god, I forgot... I hate fan day!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
TV Newsreader: An official statement from Dethklok calls this "A psychotic day of insane celebration for regular jack-offs.".
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Facebones: Remember, our snipers have 50 caliber sniper rifles that can kill you from almost 3 miles away. [shows sniper taking person down from long distance] Yikes!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan Explosion: Why do I drink so much before stupid fan day?
William Murderface: I believe you drink because it's fan day.
Nathan: Ugh. I don't w - Don't talk to me about that. Wai - wait, where's Skwisgaar?
Toki Wartooth: I don't think he gonna be here for a while, he had a very big night with a very huge fan!
Nathan: Yeah, we were all up late.
Toki: Not me, I actually got good rest.
Pickles: Can you please, just be quiet for a second?
Toki: Ahh, what's wrong Pickle? You just need to eat something. Your name is Pickle, maybe you should try pickle herring sandwich [hands him a sandwich] very famous from Oslo!
William Murderface: I believe you drink because it's fan day.
Nathan: Ugh. I don't w - Don't talk to me about that. Wai - wait, where's Skwisgaar?
Toki Wartooth: I don't think he gonna be here for a while, he had a very big night with a very huge fan!
Nathan: Yeah, we were all up late.
Toki: Not me, I actually got good rest.
Pickles: Can you please, just be quiet for a second?
Toki: Ahh, what's wrong Pickle? You just need to eat something. Your name is Pickle, maybe you should try pickle herring sandwich [hands him a sandwich] very famous from Oslo!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Fan: OH YEAH PICKLE- [Pickles shuts the door]
Pickles: GOD! Everywhere I go, there's fans everywhere! Can't I just throw up in my own house?! Ugh!
Murderface: OH GOD! Don't, what are you - bulimia?
Nathan: Oh, great now you're gonna start a whole chain reaction, puke-a... a-thon!
Pickles: GOD! Everywhere I go, there's fans everywhere! Can't I just throw up in my own house?! Ugh!
Murderface: OH GOD! Don't, what are you - bulimia?
Nathan: Oh, great now you're gonna start a whole chain reaction, puke-a... a-thon!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Aww! Blood puke! Good song title, someone write that - oh, that's right we already wrote that. Good song though!
Nathan: [breathing heavily] Ohh, I think I need another liver transplant.
Nathan: [breathing heavily] Ohh, I think I need another liver transplant.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Taped Tour Message: Prepare to see one of the greatest sights you've ever seen, the fastest guitarist alive, in his natural habitat.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Taped Tour Message: In order to keep Nathan Explosion healthy, and because of the tremendous drinking it takes to entertain all you Dethklok fans out there, Nathan must undergo a series of liver transplants.
Doctor: Now, have you eaten anything this morning?
Nathan: [heart monitor beeps faster] Nope.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Nathan: I mean, yea... I mean, no.
Doctor: Okay, anesthesia please.
Doctor: Now, have you eaten anything this morning?
Nathan: [heart monitor beeps faster] Nope.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Nathan: I mean, yea... I mean, no.
Doctor: Okay, anesthesia please.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Facebones: Hey guys, it's me, Facebones. Now's the time you've all been waiting for. Your very own exclusive super duper exclusive fan song and one time only song videooooo [holds the last syllable for 16 seconds] ...roll it.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: If they only knew how much we hated them, I mean they just keep crawling back like groveling putrid stupid zombies that just want to eat our brains that is our art.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: Hey, what are you doing?
Guard: He's in a wheelchair my lords, I did not know what to do.
Guard: He's in a wheelchair my lords, I did not know what to do.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan Explosion: We have liberated your island from you, your island that was once a nucular, nuclear testing facility that has in turn tragically disfigured you all into ugly horrible-looking mutants. And we now decree your island the Dethklok Home for Wayward Kitties. [pause] RELEASE... THE KITTIES!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: [playing with a laser pointer] My god, these things are amazing. Check it out, I'm an eye doctor.
Charles Ofdensen: Can you please give me the laser pointer? It does not belong to you.
Nathan: Hey, wait your turn.
William Murderface: Hey, point that into my eyes again. Awww, yeaaah, it's awesome!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Points the laser beams at my too eye. Awhhh, cool...
Charles Ofdensen: Can you please give me the laser pointer? It does not belong to you.
Nathan: Hey, wait your turn.
William Murderface: Hey, point that into my eyes again. Awww, yeaaah, it's awesome!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Points the laser beams at my too eye. Awhhh, cool...
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Toki Wartooth: Yeah but checks dis out! I can force all the bloods to my face and gives myself a real cool blowjob!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Dat's what I'm talkin' about!
Skwisgaar: Pfft... you means nosebleed, not blowjob. Idiot.
Skwisgaar: Pfft... you means nosebleed, not blowjob. Idiot.
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Ofdensen: I'm sorry, who is that fat kid?
Nathan: Don't play dumb, you know who that is.
Ofdensen: I have no idea who that is. Who the hell is that?
Pickles: Uh, hello, that's our son.
Murderface: Yeah, we adopted him, for charity?
Ofdensen: I'm sorry, how is that charity?
Nathan: Then we are his foster fathers. What do you mean? That's for charity, right?
Ofdensen: No Nathan, that's not donating money to organizations. That's... that doesn't help our tax situation.
Nathan: Seriously?
Ofdensen: Yeah. Can you give him back?
Nathan: Hey that's a crappy thing to say but no, I don't think we can. We tried.
Ofdensen: Well, let's talk about the big show. You guys are performing at the United Celebrities of the World Foundation with the London Philharmonic, kind of a big deal, London Philharmonic, blah blah.
Nathan: Don't play dumb, you know who that is.
Ofdensen: I have no idea who that is. Who the hell is that?
Pickles: Uh, hello, that's our son.
Murderface: Yeah, we adopted him, for charity?
Ofdensen: I'm sorry, how is that charity?
Nathan: Then we are his foster fathers. What do you mean? That's for charity, right?
Ofdensen: No Nathan, that's not donating money to organizations. That's... that doesn't help our tax situation.
Nathan: Seriously?
Ofdensen: Yeah. Can you give him back?
Nathan: Hey that's a crappy thing to say but no, I don't think we can. We tried.
Ofdensen: Well, let's talk about the big show. You guys are performing at the United Celebrities of the World Foundation with the London Philharmonic, kind of a big deal, London Philharmonic, blah blah.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: The donation will go to pharmaceutical research.
Nathan: What kind of pharmaceugical research? [still playing with the laser pointer]
Ofdensen: Well, I'm not sure. It doesn't say.
Nathan: Have those guys cured anything?
Ofdensen: Uhhh... no. It says here, no, they have not.
Nathan: Ok. Shouldn't they have cured at least one disease?
Ofdensen: Well, it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that if you want to keep your money, you do this show.
Pickles the Drummer: See, that makes more sense to us. Just say that from now on.
Nathan: What kind of pharmaceugical research? [still playing with the laser pointer]
Ofdensen: Well, I'm not sure. It doesn't say.
Nathan: Have those guys cured anything?
Ofdensen: Uhhh... no. It says here, no, they have not.
Nathan: Ok. Shouldn't they have cured at least one disease?
Ofdensen: Well, it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that if you want to keep your money, you do this show.
Pickles the Drummer: See, that makes more sense to us. Just say that from now on.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: Dudes, what the hell is wrong with this guy? He can't stand still.
Toki: Maybe he gots to go outside and gos to the... B-A-S-T-H-R-O-H-M-N-S-E.
Toki: Maybe he gots to go outside and gos to the... B-A-S-T-H-R-O-H-M-N-S-E.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Don't kill him, leave him alone! He's my son!
Nathan: I'm not, you idiot, I'm... using... hug therapy on him! Read somewhere it's supposed to calm him down! [Nathan Grunts and Fatty stops squirming] Oh... dear sweet... Lord, I think he just used the restroom in his shorts. [drops Fat Kid] I guess he did have to go outside.
Nathan: I'm not, you idiot, I'm... using... hug therapy on him! Read somewhere it's supposed to calm him down! [Nathan Grunts and Fatty stops squirming] Oh... dear sweet... Lord, I think he just used the restroom in his shorts. [drops Fat Kid] I guess he did have to go outside.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Aw he ate my fucking shoes little bastard! He ate my Civil War shoes! (Murderface walks up to Fatty Ding Dong and has a slap fight with him) They're fucking irreplaceable Civil War shoes! YA FAT SON OF A BITCH!
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Nathan: Hey goofball, look who's all neutered! You are! Yeah you're neutered, huh goofball, yeah! Who's a neutered guy?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: You know, I'm starting to get sick of dis fatherhoods thing, and why are we the ones who always get stuck feeding his fat ass? I think they racist or something.
Skwisgaar: Well, it's not supposed to be easy, Toki. Eats your foods, Fatty Ding-Dong, because your daddies goings to take yous to thes charitys show, to's sees daddies play... eh, he's not listening. I don't know Toki, fatherhood is a strange word. So much responsibility, and whats are the rewards? Huh?
Toki: I suppose... I feel a sense... of pride... knowing I help raise him... so dere is dat. HERE'S A BUCKET OF HANKBURKERS, AND A COUPLE OF BIG GULPS AND CRAPS, YOU FAT TITS!
Skwisgaar: Try not to choke, you fat tub of shit. We loves you!
Skwisgaar: Well, it's not supposed to be easy, Toki. Eats your foods, Fatty Ding-Dong, because your daddies goings to take yous to thes charitys show, to's sees daddies play... eh, he's not listening. I don't know Toki, fatherhood is a strange word. So much responsibility, and whats are the rewards? Huh?
Toki: I suppose... I feel a sense... of pride... knowing I help raise him... so dere is dat. HERE'S A BUCKET OF HANKBURKERS, AND A COUPLE OF BIG GULPS AND CRAPS, YOU FAT TITS!
Skwisgaar: Try not to choke, you fat tub of shit. We loves you!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Well, Fatty... dat's was not great back dere, how you killed an entire orchestra.
Skwisgaar: Looks cool but it does not reflects on us very well. Fatty Ding-Dongs, wes woulds likes to haves a words wid you, fathers to son.
Nathan: Now, we know that it's totally your fault that the London Philharmonic was sliced in half by a laser beam, and we know that you're sorry, we know that. But I guess... hmmm... I guess we'd kinda hoped that you'd use better judgement, y'know?
Skwisgaar: Looks cool but it does not reflects on us very well. Fatty Ding-Dongs, wes woulds likes to haves a words wid you, fathers to son.
Nathan: Now, we know that it's totally your fault that the London Philharmonic was sliced in half by a laser beam, and we know that you're sorry, we know that. But I guess... hmmm... I guess we'd kinda hoped that you'd use better judgement, y'know?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: I think I know what you are all trying to say. I... uh... um... I think we have to build a space helicopter.
Pickles: Ah, well, that's impossible, but I think I may have a better idea.
Pickles: Ah, well, that's impossible, but I think I may have a better idea.
TV Show: Metalocalypse