Metalocalypse Quotes
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Ohh... this thing squish my ball... Eeegh... I might throw up -
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki Wartooth: Oh, cool, yous gots a new shipment of custom guitar!
Skwisgaar: Yeah, dis is uh, some designs I'm messings arounds with, uh... dis one is, um, is Swiss Army-tar. Is good guitar for a camping trip, s'got toothpick.
Pickles the Drummer: Yeah, good tone, what's that one right' theere?
Skwisgaar: Uhh, is just an ant farm-itar. They, stills workings on it.
William Murderface: Nice! I'd like to stand on that thing.
Pickles: Yeah, I'd stand on that.
Skwisgaar: Yah, an' this is the Gibson Excalib-itar, you know, and here's my... guitar made from the wood of Christ's cross.
Murderface: Awww, get ready for a billion e-mails, here comes the offended religious weirdos.
Skwisgaar: What's offensive about the most religious instrument ever?
Skwisgaar: Yeah, dis is uh, some designs I'm messings arounds with, uh... dis one is, um, is Swiss Army-tar. Is good guitar for a camping trip, s'got toothpick.
Pickles the Drummer: Yeah, good tone, what's that one right' theere?
Skwisgaar: Uhh, is just an ant farm-itar. They, stills workings on it.
William Murderface: Nice! I'd like to stand on that thing.
Pickles: Yeah, I'd stand on that.
Skwisgaar: Yah, an' this is the Gibson Excalib-itar, you know, and here's my... guitar made from the wood of Christ's cross.
Murderface: Awww, get ready for a billion e-mails, here comes the offended religious weirdos.
Skwisgaar: What's offensive about the most religious instrument ever?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Johnson: This will do just fine!
Murderface: Dirty worthless hippies!
Skwisgaar: This guys is way too happy!
Johnson: Make them wish they was never born! Give the blues!
Nathan: Somebody slap my sunburned back. [William smacks his back, and yells in agony] I can feel pain again! ...I'm ready!
Murderface: Dirty worthless hippies!
Skwisgaar: This guys is way too happy!
Johnson: Make them wish they was never born! Give the blues!
Nathan: Somebody slap my sunburned back. [William smacks his back, and yells in agony] I can feel pain again! ...I'm ready!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Okay, let me explains again, in prefectly clear English, I wants, flys in, on, a dragons, okay? How many times I gots to tell this peoples?!
Stage Hand: I know, there isn't a dragon.
Skwisgaar: I know dat's what I'm telling you!
Stage Hand: But that's what I'm telling you.
Skwisgaar: So go get one! What are you doing here?! Go! Go get one! Now! Go, go!
Stage Hand: They don't have them!
Skwisgaar: Are you telling me dere out of dragons?
Stage Hand: They never had dragons.
Skwisgaar: Who didn't?
Stage Hand: The world!
Skwisgaar: [infuriated] Get dis guy out of here! Finds me a dragon!
Stage Hand: I know, there isn't a dragon.
Skwisgaar: I know dat's what I'm telling you!
Stage Hand: But that's what I'm telling you.
Skwisgaar: So go get one! What are you doing here?! Go! Go get one! Now! Go, go!
Stage Hand: They don't have them!
Skwisgaar: Are you telling me dere out of dragons?
Stage Hand: They never had dragons.
Skwisgaar: Who didn't?
Stage Hand: The world!
Skwisgaar: [infuriated] Get dis guy out of here! Finds me a dragon!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Okay, pulls it togedder. Don'ts lets the stress gets-in-to-you! Yous is the fastest guitarist alive, dere's no pressure! OH GODS, I cant's do..
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Uh, Nathan? Is this all we gots for costumes?
Nathan: Yeah.
Toki: THIS ISN'T GOOD! We can't wear none of this!
Nathan: Dude, you don't need to freak out.
Toki: I just want it to be great! Maybe you don't, but I do!
Nathan: Alright, alright... Are you okay?
Toki: Yes, I'm fine.
Nathan: You are eating a lot of candy.
Toki: So? You drinks a lot of barbecue sauce!
Nathan: Maybe you've had too much sugar.
Toki: No, I ha... Awhhh, oh hold on -
Nathan: Yeah.
Toki: THIS ISN'T GOOD! We can't wear none of this!
Nathan: Dude, you don't need to freak out.
Toki: I just want it to be great! Maybe you don't, but I do!
Nathan: Alright, alright... Are you okay?
Toki: Yes, I'm fine.
Nathan: You are eating a lot of candy.
Toki: So? You drinks a lot of barbecue sauce!
Nathan: Maybe you've had too much sugar.
Toki: No, I ha... Awhhh, oh hold on -
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: Is that a tooth?
Toki: Yeah. Got any other questions? I'll be right here!
Nathan: Your teeth are falling out because of your free candy from your free endorsement deal.
Toki: Are you a dentists?
Nathan: No.
Toki: Well then shut up! Oh, by the way, teeths grow back!
Nathan: Uh, no they don't.
Toki: Yes they do. Don'ts you remember beings a little kids when you teeths woulds falls out and grow back and you would get the old one under the pillow so the ancient Norse god Orthar, the tooths collector, woulds leaves you a Pickle's Nickel?!
Nathan: Why don't ya just get out of here?!
Toki: Fine... GOOD-BYYYE!
Pickles: That was weird. Was that your first fight?
Toki: Yeah. Got any other questions? I'll be right here!
Nathan: Your teeth are falling out because of your free candy from your free endorsement deal.
Toki: Are you a dentists?
Nathan: No.
Toki: Well then shut up! Oh, by the way, teeths grow back!
Nathan: Uh, no they don't.
Toki: Yes they do. Don'ts you remember beings a little kids when you teeths woulds falls out and grow back and you would get the old one under the pillow so the ancient Norse god Orthar, the tooths collector, woulds leaves you a Pickle's Nickel?!
Nathan: Why don't ya just get out of here?!
Toki: Fine... GOOD-BYYYE!
Pickles: That was weird. Was that your first fight?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: I don't know whats to do! This solid crystal oxynigating hands aquariums won't comes off!
Toki: SKWISGAAR YOU GOTS TO GETS ON STAGE SOON!
Skwisgaar: OHH NOOOO!
Murderface: Clank them together! Over your head! Burst them! Hurry!
Toki: SKWISGAAR YOU GOTS TO GETS ON STAGE SOON!
Skwisgaar: OHH NOOOO!
Murderface: Clank them together! Over your head! Burst them! Hurry!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: It sounded cool.
Pickles: No wait! I got it, do we have any butter?
Murderface: OH NO! ALL I GOT IS STUPID DOOR KNOBS!
Pickles: Ahh, dammit, why didn't any of us get a butter endorsement deal?
Nathan: [drinking his barbecue sauce] Wait! We could try my barbecue sauce!
Pickles: DO IT!
Pickles: No wait! I got it, do we have any butter?
Murderface: OH NO! ALL I GOT IS STUPID DOOR KNOBS!
Pickles: Ahh, dammit, why didn't any of us get a butter endorsement deal?
Nathan: [drinking his barbecue sauce] Wait! We could try my barbecue sauce!
Pickles: DO IT!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: YOU'RE FREE! RUN AWAY SKWISGAAAAAR!
Pickles: Why should he run away?
Skwisgaar: Okay, somebody please hands me my guitars, ands a towel! [tastes the sauce] Oh God, is there cilantros in this?!
Nathan: Yeah. Why?
Skwisgaar: I'm allergic to cila - [tongue suddenly swells and he has trouble speaking]
Murderface: Skwisgaar! Your hands! '[Skwisgaar's hands are swelling up as well]
Pickles: Why should he run away?
Skwisgaar: Okay, somebody please hands me my guitars, ands a towel! [tastes the sauce] Oh God, is there cilantros in this?!
Nathan: Yeah. Why?
Skwisgaar: I'm allergic to cila - [tongue suddenly swells and he has trouble speaking]
Murderface: Skwisgaar! Your hands! '[Skwisgaar's hands are swelling up as well]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface (voice-over): Over a million babies and ladies die every hemisecond. That's why I use Murder Knobs.
Murderface: Doorknobs for a new world.
Murderface: Doorknobs for a new world.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles (voice-over): I'm Pickles the Drummer. And our country's experiencing a horrible problem - nobody is using nickels. Use nickels.
Pickles: Nickels is money too guys.
Voice-over: Paid for in nickels by the US Department of Treasury.
Pickles: Nickels is money too guys.
Voice-over: Paid for in nickels by the US Department of Treasury.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan (voice-over): I guess I've always hated my father. Explosion Sauce changed that.
Nathan: Explosion Sauce - it's good on its own.
Nathan: Explosion Sauce - it's good on its own.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki Wartooth (voiceover): I Toki. I slips in and out of diabetic coma. They should makes insulin-flavored candy. Whatever.
Toki: Candy: tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy.
Toki: Candy: tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki Wartooth: Hooowee, I am such one tired guy! How comes shopping's so stupid? What's I have now? All this stuff, what do I do?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Yeah, you know what? Uhh... just throw everything away, dats what I do.
Toki: Now I throws it away.
Skwisgaar: Just going to die anyway.
Toki: Guess it's full circle.
Skwisgaar: Goodbye.
Toki: Okay.
Skwisgaar: Burn it.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Yeah, you know what? Uhh... just throw everything away, dats what I do.
Toki: Now I throws it away.
Skwisgaar: Just going to die anyway.
Toki: Guess it's full circle.
Skwisgaar: Goodbye.
Toki: Okay.
Skwisgaar: Burn it.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles the Drummer: Dude, I thought you hated wearing a watch?
Nathan Explosion: I smash...them. [smashes watch with fist]
Pickles: Cool. Mind if I try?
Nathan: Uh yeah, I- I mean they're mine, but...
Pickles: [rummaging through the watches] Whoa that's nice. What is that, a Hamilton? [drops it and stomps on it] Well, that's... you know... fun.
Nathan Explosion: I smash...them. [smashes watch with fist]
Pickles: Cool. Mind if I try?
Nathan: Uh yeah, I- I mean they're mine, but...
Pickles: [rummaging through the watches] Whoa that's nice. What is that, a Hamilton? [drops it and stomps on it] Well, that's... you know... fun.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
William Murderface: Check it out, losers. Direct your attention to my crotch. See it?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Pickles: Woah ho ho!
Murderface: Feel it, envy it.
Pickles: That is something else!
Murderface: Best purchase ever.
Skwisgaar: Yeah, that's good codpiece.
Murderface: It's not a big deal; it's just totally diamond-encrusted and titanium-based...
Toki: Oh, whats a coincidence! I gots a real cool codpiece too!
Pickles: Woah ho ho!
Murderface: Feel it, envy it.
Pickles: That is something else!
Murderface: Best purchase ever.
Skwisgaar: Yeah, that's good codpiece.
Murderface: It's not a big deal; it's just totally diamond-encrusted and titanium-based...
Toki: Oh, whats a coincidence! I gots a real cool codpiece too!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: Uh, that's a dildo? A strap-on dildo?
Toki: Aww, screw you all off! My codpiece is the coolest!
Skwisgaar: Yeah... well...
Toki: Jealous!
Skwisgaar: Anybody else get somethings cool?
Pickles: Yeah I was just, tryin' ta shop, I'm just too drunk right now. I tried to buy 'dat cinnamon bun franchise thing, but uh...
Toki: Oh, yeah, what the hell?
Pickles: Too drunk... too drunk.
Charles Ofdensen: There you are. I've been trying to contact you all day.
Pickles: Cinnamon buns!
Toki: Aww, screw you all off! My codpiece is the coolest!
Skwisgaar: Yeah... well...
Toki: Jealous!
Skwisgaar: Anybody else get somethings cool?
Pickles: Yeah I was just, tryin' ta shop, I'm just too drunk right now. I tried to buy 'dat cinnamon bun franchise thing, but uh...
Toki: Oh, yeah, what the hell?
Pickles: Too drunk... too drunk.
Charles Ofdensen: There you are. I've been trying to contact you all day.
Pickles: Cinnamon buns!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensem: Well you should care, because it turns out that one of your employees is a major embezzler.
Nathan: AWESOME! Right?
Toki: Ambuzle? What means that?
Pickles: Oh, well it's a cool way of saying...take-having something.
Skwisgaar: Hey guys I haves a good use of the words unsbozzle: my lungs, unsbozzle, de air, from the Earth, as I can breathe. It. Period.
Ofdensen: I don't think that's correct.
Skwisgaar: Oh lighten up Mr. Dooms N' Glooms, embezzle is metal.
Pickles: Who's the guy embezzling from, you know, anyway?
Ofdensen: Well, he is embezzling... from you.
Nathan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nathan: AWESOME! Right?
Toki: Ambuzle? What means that?
Pickles: Oh, well it's a cool way of saying...take-having something.
Skwisgaar: Hey guys I haves a good use of the words unsbozzle: my lungs, unsbozzle, de air, from the Earth, as I can breathe. It. Period.
Ofdensen: I don't think that's correct.
Skwisgaar: Oh lighten up Mr. Dooms N' Glooms, embezzle is metal.
Pickles: Who's the guy embezzling from, you know, anyway?
Ofdensen: Well, he is embezzling... from you.
Nathan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Pickles: Okay, so, uhh... number 421. You, ehh... you are part of the sector eighteen, recording studio maintainence clean team. Okay! Uhh... qui... couple questions. How, do, you, value, your, what you contribute, of, to, at the work force? Ehh... second part: which, do you most, can't, the least? Skwisgaar?
Skwisgaar: Yeah?
Pickles: You write these questions?
Skwisgaar: Yeah I did.
Pickles: Okay! Well, 421, do you have an answer?
Klokateer 421: I am a highly skilled microphone cleaner my masters, and what I most can't the least, would be do not a bad job, but always a good.
Skwisgaar: Okaaaay... good answer...
Pickles: Well that's all I got, uh, guys?
Nathan: No, I got one more question, and answer honestly! [long pause] Are you the guy who's embezzling from us?
Klokateer 421: No.
Nathan: [long pause] Okay... I believe you.
Pickles: Whoo! Well you are all set 421, thanks for doin' a great job -
Murderface: Hold up Hold up hold everything! I just wanna say a little something personal. [to Klokateer 421] How is... uhh the [picks up his notes] uhh... Little Amanda and Scott? Your children? Things are still rough with the divorce isn't it? That's tough! Are you still talkin' to Rachel? Yeah, well hey! HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY! Ha! Two weeks huh? Get outta here you're done!
Skwisgaar: Yeah?
Pickles: You write these questions?
Skwisgaar: Yeah I did.
Pickles: Okay! Well, 421, do you have an answer?
Klokateer 421: I am a highly skilled microphone cleaner my masters, and what I most can't the least, would be do not a bad job, but always a good.
Skwisgaar: Okaaaay... good answer...
Pickles: Well that's all I got, uh, guys?
Nathan: No, I got one more question, and answer honestly! [long pause] Are you the guy who's embezzling from us?
Klokateer 421: No.
Nathan: [long pause] Okay... I believe you.
Pickles: Whoo! Well you are all set 421, thanks for doin' a great job -
Murderface: Hold up Hold up hold everything! I just wanna say a little something personal. [to Klokateer 421] How is... uhh the [picks up his notes] uhh... Little Amanda and Scott? Your children? Things are still rough with the divorce isn't it? That's tough! Are you still talkin' to Rachel? Yeah, well hey! HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY! Ha! Two weeks huh? Get outta here you're done!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: We are really, really good bosses.
Skwisgaar: Yeah, I know. We cares about all of dems. It's like a plantations, but de slaves is our friends.
Skwisgaar: Yeah, I know. We cares about all of dems. It's like a plantations, but de slaves is our friends.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: I would like to ask questions next time.
Skwisgaar: Are you askings us to do that, Toki?
Toki: Ya I don'no.
Skwisgaar: Dats interesting. You saids, 'I woulds likes to asks a question.' Dats a statements.
Toki: What... is... the difference?
Skwisgaar: That's, a great question.
Skwisgaar: Are you askings us to do that, Toki?
Toki: Ya I don'no.
Skwisgaar: Dats interesting. You saids, 'I woulds likes to asks a question.' Dats a statements.
Toki: What... is... the difference?
Skwisgaar: That's, a great question.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Hel-lo! Would you haves to seat? [216 sits down]
Skwisgaar: First of alls, how are you? We cares about each and everyones of you little tiny goofballs.
Toki: Uhh, maybe I go crazy, but sorry I thought I was asking the questions!
Pickles: Go ahead! Go Toki -
Toki: I thought we agreed -
Pickles: Toki, who cares just - Okay fine! You ask the questions!
Toki: Fine I will! [to 216] Am you... what are we... is a Dethklok employee?
Skwisgaar: First of alls, how are you? We cares about each and everyones of you little tiny goofballs.
Toki: Uhh, maybe I go crazy, but sorry I thought I was asking the questions!
Pickles: Go ahead! Go Toki -
Toki: I thought we agreed -
Pickles: Toki, who cares just - Okay fine! You ask the questions!
Toki: Fine I will! [to 216] Am you... what are we... is a Dethklok employee?
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Man on P.A.: Attention: please proceed to the performance atrium for the Dethklok employee motivational seminar conference conference and raffle.
Murderface: Well, that's us, lets go! [As he rises, his cod piece splits the table in half, crushing 216] Oh, uh, sorry pal, we're gonna have to do this later. But uh - could you do me a favor? Could you have a great day? Could you do that for me? Thanks.
Murderface: Well, that's us, lets go! [As he rises, his cod piece splits the table in half, crushing 216] Oh, uh, sorry pal, we're gonna have to do this later. But uh - could you do me a favor? Could you have a great day? Could you do that for me? Thanks.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: [points at dead body of a Klokateer that Agent 216 has killed] Look at this one! Asleeps in some bloods! We gots to gets tougher on these guys maybe huh?
TV Show: Metalocalypse