Metalocalypse Quotes
Nathan: Yeah, well, all I can think about is the raffle. Can we win it?
Pickles: Well dude, I fucking hope so, that's the only reason my ass is goin' 'ere!
Nathan: Oh yeah! And there's gonna be an awesome motivational speaker. Oh my God I love being motivated. I love being motivated!
Toki: Me too!
Nathan: I LOVE BEING MOTIVATED!
Pickles: Well dude, I fucking hope so, that's the only reason my ass is goin' 'ere!
Nathan: Oh yeah! And there's gonna be an awesome motivational speaker. Oh my God I love being motivated. I love being motivated!
Toki: Me too!
Nathan: I LOVE BEING MOTIVATED!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: I have to works with you everyday. So please, would you please take it easy on the cologne?
Murderface: While that hurts my feelings, I understand.
Murderface: While that hurts my feelings, I understand.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: When you see a piece of trash on the ground, don't just stand there, PICK IT UUUUUP!
Pickles: Yeah! And don't leave your lunch lying around either! It attracts ants!
Pickles: Yeah! And don't leave your lunch lying around either! It attracts ants!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Facebones: And most important, remember - death is an everyday part of the workplace!
Facebones: So, when you see a dead body, don't freak out!
Facebones: So, when you see a dead body, don't freak out!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: Wowee!
Facebones: Just... ring your Deth-bell!
Toki: [rings his Deth-bell]
Facebones: Just... ring your Deth-bell!
Toki: [rings his Deth-bell]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Klokateer 216: Hey! Dildo! I'm 216! [punches Agent 216 in the balls]
Nathan: [watching a fight erupt between the two 216s] Whoa, a fight!
Murderface: Yeah, kill each other! [Agent 216 grabs Klokateer 216 who struggles to escape] Rip his face off!
Nathan: Yeah!
Nathan: [watching a fight erupt between the two 216s] Whoa, a fight!
Murderface: Yeah, kill each other! [Agent 216 grabs Klokateer 216 who struggles to escape] Rip his face off!
Nathan: Yeah!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: So, wait a minute. Stupid Level 2 employees get a Viking funeral? That's balls.
Pickles: That's gotta be expensive. You know, still with the embezzler on the loose?
Ofdensen: Actually, Accounting discovered who was embezzling this morning.
Toki: Oh good! We should kill that guy! No police!
Ofdensen: Well there will be no action taken, legal or otherwise.
Pickles: What the hell, no punishment?! G-Gimme one good reason!
Ofdensen: Because it was you. All of you. You, have been stealing from the company that... you own.
Nathan: Well that's, you know, that's bad, huh?
Ofdensen: Yes it is, Nathan.
Nathan: Maybe we could blame it on, um, somebody... Him, that guy. [points to dead body of Agent 216 on funeral pyre]
Ofdensen: Yes. Let's do that.
Nathan: [to Agent 216] We release you from your earthly duties. Yeah- I uh...doodily- I don't know. [throws torch on the funeral pyre]
Pickles: That's gotta be expensive. You know, still with the embezzler on the loose?
Ofdensen: Actually, Accounting discovered who was embezzling this morning.
Toki: Oh good! We should kill that guy! No police!
Ofdensen: Well there will be no action taken, legal or otherwise.
Pickles: What the hell, no punishment?! G-Gimme one good reason!
Ofdensen: Because it was you. All of you. You, have been stealing from the company that... you own.
Nathan: Well that's, you know, that's bad, huh?
Ofdensen: Yes it is, Nathan.
Nathan: Maybe we could blame it on, um, somebody... Him, that guy. [points to dead body of Agent 216 on funeral pyre]
Ofdensen: Yes. Let's do that.
Nathan: [to Agent 216] We release you from your earthly duties. Yeah- I uh...doodily- I don't know. [throws torch on the funeral pyre]
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: [watching Agent 216 burn on the funeral pyre] I get his pension - DIBS! Called it!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Customer: Ay fuckface! Give me four number fives!
Nathan Explosion: ...Ummm... uhh... how much you wanted? A five?
Customer: No, retard! I want four fives!
Nathan: [long pause] Ummmmmmm...
Customer: Listen, Tonto! You give me four fives! And you do it now!
Nathan: You - you wanted... you wanted?
Customer: Hey, wait a minute, aren't you Nathan Explosion?
Nathan: [long pause] Yeah, I guess I am.
Customer: Didn't you have anything to fall back on after your band was killed by blackbirds?
Nathan: Huh. No I never graduated from high school -
Nathan Explosion: ...Ummm... uhh... how much you wanted? A five?
Customer: No, retard! I want four fives!
Nathan: [long pause] Ummmmmmm...
Customer: Listen, Tonto! You give me four fives! And you do it now!
Nathan: You - you wanted... you wanted?
Customer: Hey, wait a minute, aren't you Nathan Explosion?
Nathan: [long pause] Yeah, I guess I am.
Customer: Didn't you have anything to fall back on after your band was killed by blackbirds?
Nathan: Huh. No I never graduated from high school -
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Manager: He's a complete idiot! Cannot even function! He's so Stupid!
Nathan: Yeah. I'm stupid! Oh I am.
Customer: Oh, well that's too bad. OH SHIT LOOK OUT! [deliberatly squirts Nathan in the face with ketchup]
Nathan: OWWWWW! I'LL KILL YOU!
Customer: Oh, now you gotta go wash your face!
Nathan: Ohh face, yeah - [places hands in the deep-fryer and splashes hot oil on his face, attempting to wash it] OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Manager: That's the deep-fryer you idiot!
Nathan: Yeah. I'm stupid! Oh I am.
Customer: Oh, well that's too bad. OH SHIT LOOK OUT! [deliberatly squirts Nathan in the face with ketchup]
Nathan: OWWWWW! I'LL KILL YOU!
Customer: Oh, now you gotta go wash your face!
Nathan: Ohh face, yeah - [places hands in the deep-fryer and splashes hot oil on his face, attempting to wash it] OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Manager: That's the deep-fryer you idiot!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: Sorry I'm late guys, I uh... just had another one a those, I-can't-figure-it-out dreams again, you know... I think I might be stupid.
Pickles the Drummer: How can you be stupid? You're famous!
Charles Ofdensen: That is true...
Toki Wartooth: And yous a billionaire!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Dat sounds smart to me no matter how many times you slice it.
William Murderface: Hey quick! What's six times, um, er, uh... twelve!
Pickles the Drummer: How can you be stupid? You're famous!
Charles Ofdensen: That is true...
Toki Wartooth: And yous a billionaire!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Dat sounds smart to me no matter how many times you slice it.
William Murderface: Hey quick! What's six times, um, er, uh... twelve!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Senator Stampingston: Nathan Explosion is furthering his education. This could have devastating repercussions!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Dr. Natasha Neshenskanovich: General. America is the dominant force in the world because our great people are dangerous and stupid. Nathan Explosion is a hero to the ignorant. If he seeks higher education, they will start to act as if they're as good as anyone! If the secret gets out that the working class is as smart as the upper crust that runs the world, well, the results would be catastrophic.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: Now wait, what do you mean five minus x? What is... what is x?
Mordhaus Librarian: Oh sweetie... it's just algebra.
Nathan: It's stupid, and it's not even that akikabablel.
Mordhaus Librarian: Applicable.
Nathan: [attempts to say applicable repeatedly, but fails] IT'S STUPID!
Mordhaus Librarian: Oh sweetie... it's just algebra.
Nathan: It's stupid, and it's not even that akikabablel.
Mordhaus Librarian: Applicable.
Nathan: [attempts to say applicable repeatedly, but fails] IT'S STUPID!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Toki: But it's wrong!
Murderface: Hey, I don't care how wrong it is. Just admit it; I'm a great speller and it burns you.
Toki: You're not a great speller! You got to spell right to be a speller!
Murderface: So what? A guy hits a home run, but since he's fat it's not a home run? It's gotta be perfect? That's not the point.
Toki: Now that is the point! THAT - IS - SPELLING!
Skwisgaar: Ech, they can't helps it, Toki. Not everyone gets the advantage of superior Skanzanavians ekocationen.
Pickles: 'Kay, name something that's got nothin' ta do with guitar go, go go go go go...
Skwisgaar: [unable to produce an answer] Oh, dum, dah, uh, oh, um, ah...
Murderface: Hey, I don't care how wrong it is. Just admit it; I'm a great speller and it burns you.
Toki: You're not a great speller! You got to spell right to be a speller!
Murderface: So what? A guy hits a home run, but since he's fat it's not a home run? It's gotta be perfect? That's not the point.
Toki: Now that is the point! THAT - IS - SPELLING!
Skwisgaar: Ech, they can't helps it, Toki. Not everyone gets the advantage of superior Skanzanavians ekocationen.
Pickles: 'Kay, name something that's got nothin' ta do with guitar go, go go go go go...
Skwisgaar: [unable to produce an answer] Oh, dum, dah, uh, oh, um, ah...
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: I'm ready. I had that uh, "I'm late for class and I'm in my underwear" dream, but - my palms are sweaty and I can't concentrate, I CAN'T CONCENTRATE!
Murderface: That's anxiety! A-N-X-I-E-T.
Murderface: That's anxiety! A-N-X-I-E-T.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Skwisgaar: Um, Nathans? What do yous do, before you're nervous, at a show?
Murderface: You know what you do...
Pickles: Yeah, whaddaya you, whaddaya you do? [shakes a bottle of liquor in front of Nathan] What's Nathan do?
Murderface: Just have a little drink!
Nathan: That's it! I have a little drink! [starts drinking the entire bottle of liquor]
Murderface: That's what you do!
Murderface: You know what you do...
Pickles: Yeah, whaddaya you, whaddaya you do? [shakes a bottle of liquor in front of Nathan] What's Nathan do?
Murderface: Just have a little drink!
Nathan: That's it! I have a little drink! [starts drinking the entire bottle of liquor]
Murderface: That's what you do!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Murderface: The only reason I have a high school degree is 'cause of a very special principal, who let me just play bass and drink beer and smoke dope because I told him I'd cut his eyes out if he didn't let me graduate.
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Ofdensen: Nathan! I have your test results.
Nathan: Aww, you open it, I... I can't stand the pressure.
Ofdensen: Let's see here, okay, uh... it's a, uh... zero. No questions were answered.
Nathan: Awww... DAMN! SERIOUSLY?!
Ofdensen: How could you... not have known that?
Nathan: Do you think you're better than me?
Ofdensen: I took the liberty of writing your Harvard commencement speech.
Nathan: [Still angry] Thanks!
Nathan: Aww, you open it, I... I can't stand the pressure.
Ofdensen: Let's see here, okay, uh... it's a, uh... zero. No questions were answered.
Nathan: Awww... DAMN! SERIOUSLY?!
Ofdensen: How could you... not have known that?
Nathan: Do you think you're better than me?
Ofdensen: I took the liberty of writing your Harvard commencement speech.
Nathan: [Still angry] Thanks!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: [reading the speech] Harvard... solutions... solutions to you.
Ofdensen: [whispers to him] Salutations!
Ofdensen: [whispers to him] Salutations!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
Nathan: I don't need this stupid speech! [looking out at graduates] You think you're smart huh? Think you can come up here and take a piece of this? Huh? Any of you? You? You? Listen, Harvard. I'm a billionaire. And most of you are gonna graduate, and move back in with your parents! I'm gonna tell you somethin', though. We have something in common: we're all gonna die. No matter whatcha' do, no matter whatcha' do with your lives, you're dead! You're dead! You're dying. You're gonna die, all of you, dead. You, dead. You, dead, all of you. You, lady? Your tits will be eaten by maggots, in just a few short years. So here's my message, my message to you, a very simple message: Go forth. Go forth, and DIIIIIE!
TV Show: Metalocalypse
TV Announcer: William Murderface has been on the stage for about 45 minutes. The word is "technicality" and it's his first word of the night. It's kind of an ironic situation when the word is "technicality" and he is technically already out because he used his first letter - "p" - which is uh... not a letter in the word. He decided to, uh... very confidently speak out before the word was finished being said.
Murderface: Technicality. P-i-s-s, fuck you! [flips off television camera]
Murderface: Technicality. P-i-s-s, fuck you! [flips off television camera]
TV Show: Metalocalypse