Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Quotes
Tatiana: One time I got high, I read the back of the shampoo bottle for thirteen hours.
Jeanie Stangle: Because it said repeat.
Tatiana: Rinse and repeat.
Jeanie Stangle: I get it.
Jeanie Stangle: Because it said repeat.
Tatiana: Rinse and repeat.
Jeanie Stangle: I get it.
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Tatiana: The key to teaching children is repetition. You'd be surprised how stupid they are.
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Mike Stangle: What's next? I'm gonna walk in on Mom giving Dad a... a push-pop?
Dave Stangle: What's a push-pop?
Mike Stangle: I made it up, Dave. It's a sexual term that I just made up.
Dave Stangle: What's a push-pop?
Mike Stangle: I don't know.
Dave Stangle: What's a push-pop!
Mike Stangle: I don't know!
Dave Stangle: WHAT'S A PUSH-POP?
Mike Stangle: I've been to the bowels of the internet and I've never seen a push-pop.
Dave Stangle: God, just tell me, what's a push-pop?
Mike Stangle: It's a whole hand up an ass, David. Is that what you want me to say?
Dave Stangle: Oh... Oh, God!
Mike Stangle: Two hands! Two hands pushing the pop! Pushing the pop! Is that what you want me to say? I'll send you some links.
Dave Stangle: What's a push-pop?
Mike Stangle: I made it up, Dave. It's a sexual term that I just made up.
Dave Stangle: What's a push-pop?
Mike Stangle: I don't know.
Dave Stangle: What's a push-pop!
Mike Stangle: I don't know!
Dave Stangle: WHAT'S A PUSH-POP?
Mike Stangle: I've been to the bowels of the internet and I've never seen a push-pop.
Dave Stangle: God, just tell me, what's a push-pop?
Mike Stangle: It's a whole hand up an ass, David. Is that what you want me to say?
Dave Stangle: Oh... Oh, God!
Mike Stangle: Two hands! Two hands pushing the pop! Pushing the pop! Is that what you want me to say? I'll send you some links.
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Tatiana: [about Mike]He looks like a fun-house mirror version of a better looking guy. But he really is that guy.
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Burt Stangle: [about bringing dates to the wedding]We don't want you showing up stag and riling each other up.
Mike Stangle: We don't rile each other up!
Burt Stangle: We *never* get riled up!
Mike Stangle: I don't get riled!
Dave Stangle: He doesn't, and I don't either!
Mike Stangle: We don't rile each other up!
Burt Stangle: We *never* get riled up!
Mike Stangle: I don't get riled!
Dave Stangle: He doesn't, and I don't either!
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Eric: One time I saw a movie, then walked across the hall and saw another movie. And I didn't even pay until afterwards.
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Burt Stangle: I want you two to bring a date. That's two dates.
Dave Stangle: You want us to bring dates to a wedding?
Mike Stangle: Excuse me?
Dave Stangle: Are you allowed to do that?
Dave Stangle: You want us to bring dates to a wedding?
Mike Stangle: Excuse me?
Dave Stangle: Are you allowed to do that?
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Dave Stangle: Maybe Dad'll just forget about his ultimatum.
Mike Stangle: Why would Dad forget about an old tomato?
Dave Stangle: No, his ul... his ultimatum.
Mike Stangle: Old tom...?
Dave Stangle: Ultimatum.
Mike Stangle: Are you saying old tomato?
Dave Stangle: Ultima-*tum*, like a tomb or a crypt.
Mike Stangle: Why would Dad forget about an old tomato?
Dave Stangle: No, his ul... his ultimatum.
Mike Stangle: Old tom...?
Dave Stangle: Ultimatum.
Mike Stangle: Are you saying old tomato?
Dave Stangle: Ultima-*tum*, like a tomb or a crypt.
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Mike Stangle: Somebody over cooked the soft pretzel. My dick is hard, that's what I'm saying. Give me five minutes.
Movie: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates