Mock the Week Quote
Andy Parsons: Okay, today, we're going to have a special outing. So, Miss Williams, if you would like to tell everybody why you're a lesbian.
Milton Jones: We welcome a new member of staff today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body, and we will call him "The Head".
Chris Addison: Would whoever's milkshake is brining all the boys to the yard please stop it?
Greg Davies: I'm sorry to keep you waiting, boys and girls. I've just had a shit the size of a baby seal.
Chris Addison: If you're found in posession of cocaine, you'll be given 100 lines. No, wait...
Seann Walsh And today in the after school club, we'll be using paper-mache to make a mother that actually loves you enough to pick you up at 3: 00.
Hugh Dennis: I'm delighted to say that during the summer holidays, Mr. Wang married Ms. Cur. (waits for the laughter to die down) His nickname will remain the same.
Greg Davies: A wise man once said, boys and girls, that if you try your hardest, you can fulfill your dreams. Generally, that's true. Not for you though, Tom. You can't read. So...
Seann Walsh: And today everyone, we have a new boy. Now for some reason, whatever reason, he's been to a lot of schools, so be kind to him. Would you please make your way to the front, Richard Poowilly?
Milton Jones: A word about registers: Most of the staff are on one.
Andy Parsons: So that is how you put on a condom. But sir, shouldn't you have used a cucumber? Not without E. Coli kicking around.
Hugh Dennis: Sorry. Sorry I'm late, I've just had a run-in with an interactive whiteboard. It told me to fuck off.
Chris Addison: I've had all your mums.
Milton Jones: We welcome a new member of staff today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body, and we will call him "The Head".
Chris Addison: Would whoever's milkshake is brining all the boys to the yard please stop it?
Greg Davies: I'm sorry to keep you waiting, boys and girls. I've just had a shit the size of a baby seal.
Chris Addison: If you're found in posession of cocaine, you'll be given 100 lines. No, wait...
Seann Walsh And today in the after school club, we'll be using paper-mache to make a mother that actually loves you enough to pick you up at 3: 00.
Hugh Dennis: I'm delighted to say that during the summer holidays, Mr. Wang married Ms. Cur. (waits for the laughter to die down) His nickname will remain the same.
Greg Davies: A wise man once said, boys and girls, that if you try your hardest, you can fulfill your dreams. Generally, that's true. Not for you though, Tom. You can't read. So...
Seann Walsh: And today everyone, we have a new boy. Now for some reason, whatever reason, he's been to a lot of schools, so be kind to him. Would you please make your way to the front, Richard Poowilly?
Milton Jones: A word about registers: Most of the staff are on one.
Andy Parsons: So that is how you put on a condom. But sir, shouldn't you have used a cucumber? Not without E. Coli kicking around.
Hugh Dennis: Sorry. Sorry I'm late, I've just had a run-in with an interactive whiteboard. It told me to fuck off.
Chris Addison: I've had all your mums.
TV Show: Mock the Week
