Monk Quote
[FBI agent Colmes wants Monk to wear a wire into a meeting with mob kingpin Salvatore Lucarelli.]
Monk: Okay, okay. Here's the thing: I can't have anything taped to my chest.
Colmes: Ah, that's fine. Come here, I'll... let me show you this. Ah, you see, these days...
[He pulls out a piece of paper.]
Colmes: We can put a transmitter just about anywhere on the human body. You have six options.
[Monk and Sharona examine the list, with Disher and Stottlemeyer looking over their shoulders.]
Monk: Number One... is out. Number Two... uh, you-you wouldn't actually shave me there, would you? [Colmes nods.] Okay... no thank you. Number Three...
Sharona: What if you had to sit down?
Monk: Right. Good point. Number Four... [slowly looks up at Colmes, then turns to Sharona.] Even if I die, don't let them do Number Four.
Lt. Disher: Number Five.
Monk: I'll do... okay. I'll do it. I'll try that.
Sharona: That's only for women!
Lt. Disher: Oh! Right.
Monk: Oh, yeah. Ah, Number Six... Number Six. I'll... I can do that.
Colmes: Number Six? Great.
Monk: Not Four.
Monk: Okay, okay. Here's the thing: I can't have anything taped to my chest.
Colmes: Ah, that's fine. Come here, I'll... let me show you this. Ah, you see, these days...
[He pulls out a piece of paper.]
Colmes: We can put a transmitter just about anywhere on the human body. You have six options.
[Monk and Sharona examine the list, with Disher and Stottlemeyer looking over their shoulders.]
Monk: Number One... is out. Number Two... uh, you-you wouldn't actually shave me there, would you? [Colmes nods.] Okay... no thank you. Number Three...
Sharona: What if you had to sit down?
Monk: Right. Good point. Number Four... [slowly looks up at Colmes, then turns to Sharona.] Even if I die, don't let them do Number Four.
Lt. Disher: Number Five.
Monk: I'll do... okay. I'll do it. I'll try that.
Sharona: That's only for women!
Lt. Disher: Oh! Right.
Monk: Oh, yeah. Ah, Number Six... Number Six. I'll... I can do that.
Colmes: Number Six? Great.
Monk: Not Four.
TV Show: Monk
