Monk Quote
'["Honest" Jake Phillips is on his ladder and removing the mounting for an off-centered lamp]
"Honest" Jake Phillips: This is going to be easy; piece of cake; a little walk in the park here. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna reattach its fixture to a parallel support beam. It's going to be good as new.
Adrian Monk: Oh I hope so. Be careful!
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Ah, you're a little bit of a nervous Nellie, are ya? I've got a cousin like you. He makes coffee nervous. [He hands a screw to Monk] Hold this. [Monk quickly grabs an evidence bag from a drawer and puts the screw in, then writes the word "SCREWS" on it] Another one coming here. Whoa, head's up. [Jake hands Monk the other screw, and then removes the covering. He stops, and looks closely at the attachment with his screwdriver]
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Uh-oh.
Adrian Monk: Uh-oh? What uh-oh?
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Your wires are all frayed. The connection is rusted.
Adrian Monk: Wha-What does it mean?
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Well it means you're not up to code, my friend. This is a fire trap. OK, we're gonna have to run a new line to here. We're gonna have to go through that wall, feed it up over here-
Adrian Monk: W-w-wait, wait. I love that wall. That's... that's my third favorite wall.
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Adrian, I'm a surgeon. It's gonna be like taking out an appendix; a little incision, snip, snip, snip, pop over with the wire, and the fixture, a little spackle, a little paint...
Adrian Monk: Is it going to be [imitates a jackhammer] messy?
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Nah, no way. You won't even know I was here. [cuts to Jake carelessly breaking down part of the wall, leaving the framework exposed. After taking out a big chunk of the wall, he stops
"Honest" Jake Phillips: This is going to be easy; piece of cake; a little walk in the park here. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna reattach its fixture to a parallel support beam. It's going to be good as new.
Adrian Monk: Oh I hope so. Be careful!
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Ah, you're a little bit of a nervous Nellie, are ya? I've got a cousin like you. He makes coffee nervous. [He hands a screw to Monk] Hold this. [Monk quickly grabs an evidence bag from a drawer and puts the screw in, then writes the word "SCREWS" on it] Another one coming here. Whoa, head's up. [Jake hands Monk the other screw, and then removes the covering. He stops, and looks closely at the attachment with his screwdriver]
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Uh-oh.
Adrian Monk: Uh-oh? What uh-oh?
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Your wires are all frayed. The connection is rusted.
Adrian Monk: Wha-What does it mean?
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Well it means you're not up to code, my friend. This is a fire trap. OK, we're gonna have to run a new line to here. We're gonna have to go through that wall, feed it up over here-
Adrian Monk: W-w-wait, wait. I love that wall. That's... that's my third favorite wall.
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Adrian, I'm a surgeon. It's gonna be like taking out an appendix; a little incision, snip, snip, snip, pop over with the wire, and the fixture, a little spackle, a little paint...
Adrian Monk: Is it going to be [imitates a jackhammer] messy?
"Honest" Jake Phillips: Nah, no way. You won't even know I was here. [cuts to Jake carelessly breaking down part of the wall, leaving the framework exposed. After taking out a big chunk of the wall, he stops
TV Show: Monk
