Monk Quote
[Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher arrive at Cassie Drake's house to check out Monk's suspicions on Joseph Moody, as Monk complains about the messiness of "Honest" Jake's repairs]
Lt. Randall Disher: So how's the new house?
Adrian Monk: Oh, it's pretty awful, thanks for asking. I don't want to talk about it; I don't want to think about it. Every 20 minutes it's something else, something's rusted or corroded, falling apart or about to fall apart.
Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah, I can't wait to check it out.
Adrian Monk: It's like a nightmare, except for the part where you wake up and it's all over. Why didn't you warn me?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I did. I tried to. I think we all did.
Adrian Monk: Well, why didn't you, like, tie me down and shoot me in the leg? What's the good of having a gun if you don't shoot your friend in the leg when he's about to buy an old house? [Randy knocks on the door]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Next time I will. I promise. [No one responds to Randy's knock] Go ahead.
Lt. Randall Disher: [knocks again] Hello? [Again, no response. He taps lightly on the door, and Monk scorches a look of confusion at him. Stottlemeyer chuckles, realizing that Randy is sending him a message in Morse code]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Hey, did you ever hear the one about the...? [taps a reply to Randy's initial message with his knuckles]
Natalie Teeger: That's not the way I heard it. [Stottlemeyer and Disher glance at her] My husband was in the Navy. Remember?
Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah right. [Stottlemeyer knocks another message on the door]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Miss Drake! [He pulls on the door, which moves. Fearing the worst, he pulls open the door a little bit. The
Lt. Randall Disher: So how's the new house?
Adrian Monk: Oh, it's pretty awful, thanks for asking. I don't want to talk about it; I don't want to think about it. Every 20 minutes it's something else, something's rusted or corroded, falling apart or about to fall apart.
Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah, I can't wait to check it out.
Adrian Monk: It's like a nightmare, except for the part where you wake up and it's all over. Why didn't you warn me?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I did. I tried to. I think we all did.
Adrian Monk: Well, why didn't you, like, tie me down and shoot me in the leg? What's the good of having a gun if you don't shoot your friend in the leg when he's about to buy an old house? [Randy knocks on the door]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Next time I will. I promise. [No one responds to Randy's knock] Go ahead.
Lt. Randall Disher: [knocks again] Hello? [Again, no response. He taps lightly on the door, and Monk scorches a look of confusion at him. Stottlemeyer chuckles, realizing that Randy is sending him a message in Morse code]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Hey, did you ever hear the one about the...? [taps a reply to Randy's initial message with his knuckles]
Natalie Teeger: That's not the way I heard it. [Stottlemeyer and Disher glance at her] My husband was in the Navy. Remember?
Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah right. [Stottlemeyer knocks another message on the door]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Miss Drake! [He pulls on the door, which moves. Fearing the worst, he pulls open the door a little bit. The
TV Show: Monk
