Monk Quotes
[The earthquake prevents Sharona and Benjy from returning to their home.]
Sharona: Well, we can always stay at Aunt Gail's.
Benjy: Why can't we stay at Mr. Monk's?
Sharona: Because I will go crazy slower at Aunt Gail's.
Sharona: Well, we can always stay at Aunt Gail's.
Benjy: Why can't we stay at Mr. Monk's?
Sharona: Because I will go crazy slower at Aunt Gail's.
TV Show: Monk
[As they sit with the new widow, gibberish-speaking Adrian attempts to express his condolences. Sharona tells him to leave the room.]
Father Hatcher: Um... where's he from?
Sharona: Neptune.
Father Hatcher: Um... where's he from?
Sharona: Neptune.
TV Show: Monk
[Benjy turns on the tap and rusty colored water comes out]
Benjy Fleming: The water's all rusty!
Gail Fleming: Oh yeah, it always gets like that after an earthquake. Fortunately, I always keep some mineral water around for situations like this... Where's my water?
[She opens the cupboard under the sink, which is empty. Cuts to the bathroom, where Monk is soaking in the tub, surrounded by empty plastic bottles.]
Gail Fleming: [banging on the door] Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Don't come in, I'm taking a bath.
Gail Fleming: With my mineral water?!
Adrian Monk: I tried the water from the tap, it was a little rusty.
Gail Fleming: Yeah well, enjoy that bath, it's costing me $95 dollars!
Adrian Monk: [oblivious to her sarcasm] Thank you!
Benjy Fleming: The water's all rusty!
Gail Fleming: Oh yeah, it always gets like that after an earthquake. Fortunately, I always keep some mineral water around for situations like this... Where's my water?
[She opens the cupboard under the sink, which is empty. Cuts to the bathroom, where Monk is soaking in the tub, surrounded by empty plastic bottles.]
Gail Fleming: [banging on the door] Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk: Don't come in, I'm taking a bath.
Gail Fleming: With my mineral water?!
Adrian Monk: I tried the water from the tap, it was a little rusty.
Gail Fleming: Yeah well, enjoy that bath, it's costing me $95 dollars!
Adrian Monk: [oblivious to her sarcasm] Thank you!
TV Show: Monk
Lt. Disher: So, uh... what's it like, having Adrian Monk as a house guest?
Gail Fleming: Well, a few years ago, a squirrel got into the house, and I could hear it running through the attic and the walls. Took me two months to get rid of it. Drove me crazy.
Lt. Disher: ...And?
Gail Fleming: And, that's what it's like!
Gail Fleming: Well, a few years ago, a squirrel got into the house, and I could hear it running through the attic and the walls. Took me two months to get rid of it. Drove me crazy.
Lt. Disher: ...And?
Gail Fleming: And, that's what it's like!
TV Show: Monk
[Sharona kicks Darryl into the arms of Capt. Stottlemeyer, who grabs him from behind.]
Darryl Wright: Son of a bitch!
Stottlemeyer: I'm surprised you can talk with a broken jaw.
Darryl Wright: I don't have a broken jaw!
[Stottlemeyer spins him around and belts him.]
Darryl Wright: Son of a bitch!
Stottlemeyer: I'm surprised you can talk with a broken jaw.
Darryl Wright: I don't have a broken jaw!
[Stottlemeyer spins him around and belts him.]
TV Show: Monk
[During the initial police press conference, a streaker runs by.]
[Stottlemeyer speaks]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: This investigation is open and ongoing. We have at least one witness, and there is some physical evidence, which is being analyzed as we speak.
Reporter #1: Captain, is Willie Nelson a suspect?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: We haven't ruled out anybody as of yet. That's all I can say.
Reporter #2: Has Mr. Nelson made a statement?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Mr. Nelson has been very cooperative. He's agreed to stay in town and remain available to us at our discretion. Now, I-I wanna stress this again. We have not accused or charged anyone of this crime. [a streaker runs by behind them]
Streaker: Whoo-hoo! [the reporters laugh and applause. The streaker runs away, but slips and falls on the ground] Whoo! [the reporters walk over to him]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What the hell was that?
Lt. Randall Disher: That was a streaker, sir.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What is this, 1974? [Reporters take pictures of the runaway streaker]
Streaker: Oh, yeah!
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [chuckles] Well, if there are no further questions, we'll be going. Thank you.
[Stottlemeyer speaks]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: This investigation is open and ongoing. We have at least one witness, and there is some physical evidence, which is being analyzed as we speak.
Reporter #1: Captain, is Willie Nelson a suspect?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: We haven't ruled out anybody as of yet. That's all I can say.
Reporter #2: Has Mr. Nelson made a statement?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Mr. Nelson has been very cooperative. He's agreed to stay in town and remain available to us at our discretion. Now, I-I wanna stress this again. We have not accused or charged anyone of this crime. [a streaker runs by behind them]
Streaker: Whoo-hoo! [the reporters laugh and applause. The streaker runs away, but slips and falls on the ground] Whoo! [the reporters walk over to him]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What the hell was that?
Lt. Randall Disher: That was a streaker, sir.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What is this, 1974? [Reporters take pictures of the runaway streaker]
Streaker: Oh, yeah!
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [chuckles] Well, if there are no further questions, we'll be going. Thank you.
TV Show: Monk
[Monk rattles off an arcane observation about one of Willie's studio recordings.]
Willie Nelson: You know more about me than I do.
Sharona Fleming: He knows more about everybody than they do.
Willie Nelson: You know more about me than I do.
Sharona Fleming: He knows more about everybody than they do.
TV Show: Monk
[Monk, Sharona, Stottlemeyer and Disher are in Stottlemeyer's office]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Close the door. [Randy closes the door] What you are about to see cannot leave this room. The tabloids would pay a million dollars for this videotape. It's from the surveillance camera near the crime scene. [Randy presses play on the tape]
Lt. Randall Disher: The alley's a dead end. This is the only way in. The side door to the radio station was wired to an alarm, so we know it wasn't opened.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: The bottom line: we can tell for sure who was or was not there. [Monk pretends playing the clarinet] What the hell are you doing? [Monk signals to Stottlemeyer to wait a minute]
Sharona Fleming: Oh, uh, he's practicing.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Really?
Sharona Fleming: Willie Nelson invited him to sit in with his band.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, hemay be live fromFolsom Prison. Check this out. Go ahead. [Randy presses play on the tape. On the tape, we see Mrs. Mass pass by the camera as she enters the alleyway, tapping her cane as she feels around] Yeah, there goes Mrs. Mass. Tap, tap, tap. She goes into the alley. [A few minutes later, Sonny Cross walks by] Fast-forward. And there goes the soon-to-be-late Sonny Cross. [A few seconds after Sonny Cross enters, Willie Nelson comes running into the alleyway] And there goes Willie Nelson. Nobody else goes in or out. Pretty much a slam dunk.
Sharona Fleming: Are you gonna arrest him?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: D.A.'s ready to move. I'm waiting for some tests from the lab. Maybe tomorrow. [turns to Randy] Call your mom. Tell her to set the VCR. We're gonna be on the 6: 00 news.
Adrian Monk: Captain, what about the note on the door?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Close the door. [Randy closes the door] What you are about to see cannot leave this room. The tabloids would pay a million dollars for this videotape. It's from the surveillance camera near the crime scene. [Randy presses play on the tape]
Lt. Randall Disher: The alley's a dead end. This is the only way in. The side door to the radio station was wired to an alarm, so we know it wasn't opened.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: The bottom line: we can tell for sure who was or was not there. [Monk pretends playing the clarinet] What the hell are you doing? [Monk signals to Stottlemeyer to wait a minute]
Sharona Fleming: Oh, uh, he's practicing.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Really?
Sharona Fleming: Willie Nelson invited him to sit in with his band.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, hemay be live fromFolsom Prison. Check this out. Go ahead. [Randy presses play on the tape. On the tape, we see Mrs. Mass pass by the camera as she enters the alleyway, tapping her cane as she feels around] Yeah, there goes Mrs. Mass. Tap, tap, tap. She goes into the alley. [A few minutes later, Sonny Cross walks by] Fast-forward. And there goes the soon-to-be-late Sonny Cross. [A few seconds after Sonny Cross enters, Willie Nelson comes running into the alleyway] And there goes Willie Nelson. Nobody else goes in or out. Pretty much a slam dunk.
Sharona Fleming: Are you gonna arrest him?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: D.A.'s ready to move. I'm waiting for some tests from the lab. Maybe tomorrow. [turns to Randy] Call your mom. Tell her to set the VCR. We're gonna be on the 6: 00 news.
Adrian Monk: Captain, what about the note on the door?
TV Show: Monk
[Radio jockey Kenny Freedman introduces Willie Nelson and his band]
Kenny Freedman: We're back. I'm Little Kenny Freedman. You're listening to Three Chord Monte on KNGY. We are very excited to have live in our studio the legendary Willie Nelson. I know you've been reading a lot about Willie in the papers. Everybody seems to have an opinion on "the incident". But tonight, we're gonna forget about all that and enjoy the music. Willie, would you like to introduce the band?
Kenny Freedman: We're back. I'm Little Kenny Freedman. You're listening to Three Chord Monte on KNGY. We are very excited to have live in our studio the legendary Willie Nelson. I know you've been reading a lot about Willie in the papers. Everybody seems to have an opinion on "the incident". But tonight, we're gonna forget about all that and enjoy the music. Willie, would you like to introduce the band?
TV Show: Monk
Lt. Randall Disher: So, what's the plan?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, you know how they handled the O.J. case down in Los Angeles? We do the opposite. Where are we?
Lt. Randall Disher: Uh, same as I told you on the phone, sir. Mrs. Mass is reasonably sure that she can recognize the assailant's voice.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Reasonably sure. [turns to Mrs. Mass] Excuse me, Mrs. Mass? Do you listen to country and western music?
Wendy Maas: No, I like classical.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Okay. Good. Bring him in.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, you know how they handled the O.J. case down in Los Angeles? We do the opposite. Where are we?
Lt. Randall Disher: Uh, same as I told you on the phone, sir. Mrs. Mass is reasonably sure that she can recognize the assailant's voice.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Reasonably sure. [turns to Mrs. Mass] Excuse me, Mrs. Mass? Do you listen to country and western music?
Wendy Maas: No, I like classical.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Okay. Good. Bring him in.
TV Show: Monk
Lt. Randall Disher: Sir, are you ready for this?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What is this? A game show? Can't you just walk in here and say what you have to say?
Lt. Randall Disher: The droplets on Willie Nelson's jacket: human blood from the victim.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, he said that he leaned over the body. Maybe he got the blood on him then.
Lt. Randall Disher: The lab is 40% sure they're splatter marks from the actual shooting.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: 40%?
Lt. Randall Disher: What do you think?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, I think it's not exactly through the hoop, is it?
Lt. Randall Disher: Okay, the blood is 40%. Videotape?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Forty-eight percent.
Lt. Randall Disher: Voice I.D.?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Fifteen percent.
Lt. Randall Disher: Motive?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Twenty.
Lt. Randall Disher: Well, that's like 123%. I mean, plus means and opportunity.
[Stottlemeyer sighs]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: All right, bring him in. I have to be crazy. Be plumb out of my mind to arrest Willie Nelson.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What is this? A game show? Can't you just walk in here and say what you have to say?
Lt. Randall Disher: The droplets on Willie Nelson's jacket: human blood from the victim.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, he said that he leaned over the body. Maybe he got the blood on him then.
Lt. Randall Disher: The lab is 40% sure they're splatter marks from the actual shooting.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: 40%?
Lt. Randall Disher: What do you think?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, I think it's not exactly through the hoop, is it?
Lt. Randall Disher: Okay, the blood is 40%. Videotape?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Forty-eight percent.
Lt. Randall Disher: Voice I.D.?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Fifteen percent.
Lt. Randall Disher: Motive?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Twenty.
Lt. Randall Disher: Well, that's like 123%. I mean, plus means and opportunity.
[Stottlemeyer sighs]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: All right, bring him in. I have to be crazy. Be plumb out of my mind to arrest Willie Nelson.
TV Show: Monk
Police spokesman: As you know, Willie Hugh Nelson was arrested at 10: 15 last night. He will be indicted in Judge Hackman's courtroom tomorrow. Captain Stottlemeyer was the arresting officer and will be happy to answer any of your questions. Captain.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Thank you, Jeff. First of all, I would like to thank the members of my department who have been investigating this case. They've done an outstanding job.
Reporter #1: Captain, how strong is your case against Willie Nelson? We would not have authorized this arrest unless we were certain that we have all the facts for the district attorney to successfully prosecute this case. [the same streaker from before runs by] Oh! Get a shot of that.
Streaker: Hey, hi! [Stottlemeyer turns and whispers to Randy]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: For the love of-I want him. Go, go! Get him! [Randy and the other cops take off after the streaker. Stottlemeyer turns back to the cameras and fakes a laugh]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: San Francisco. You gotta love it. [the streaker keeps on running, with the police hot on his trail]
Lt. Randall Disher: We're on foot, heading south towards Prospect.
Police Dispatcher: Is there a description?
Lt. Randall Disher: He's wearing gray sneakers.
Police Dispatcher: Is there anything else?
Lt. Randall Disher: He's not Jewish!
Streaker: Come on! [He passes a homeless man] Excuse me. Oh, yeah. Good boys.
[a police car blocks the streaker's way]
Uniform Cop #1: All right, hold it right there! Stop! Stop! Stay where you are. All right, we got him.
[They handcuff the streaker, and Randy speaks on the radio]
Lt. Randall Disher: Streaker in custody.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Thank you, Jeff. First of all, I would like to thank the members of my department who have been investigating this case. They've done an outstanding job.
Reporter #1: Captain, how strong is your case against Willie Nelson? We would not have authorized this arrest unless we were certain that we have all the facts for the district attorney to successfully prosecute this case. [the same streaker from before runs by] Oh! Get a shot of that.
Streaker: Hey, hi! [Stottlemeyer turns and whispers to Randy]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: For the love of-I want him. Go, go! Get him! [Randy and the other cops take off after the streaker. Stottlemeyer turns back to the cameras and fakes a laugh]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: San Francisco. You gotta love it. [the streaker keeps on running, with the police hot on his trail]
Lt. Randall Disher: We're on foot, heading south towards Prospect.
Police Dispatcher: Is there a description?
Lt. Randall Disher: He's wearing gray sneakers.
Police Dispatcher: Is there anything else?
Lt. Randall Disher: He's not Jewish!
Streaker: Come on! [He passes a homeless man] Excuse me. Oh, yeah. Good boys.
[a police car blocks the streaker's way]
Uniform Cop #1: All right, hold it right there! Stop! Stop! Stay where you are. All right, we got him.
[They handcuff the streaker, and Randy speaks on the radio]
Lt. Randall Disher: Streaker in custody.
TV Show: Monk
[Stottlemeyer comes to the recording studio to arrest Willie Nelson for murder]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Willie Nelson?
Jody - Band Member #1: I'm Willie Nelson.
Bee - Band Member #2: I'm Willie Nelson.
Mickey - Band Member #3: I'm Willie Nelson.
Willie Nelson: Don't think they're goin' for it, boys.
Lt. Randall Disher: Mr. Nelson, we have a warrant for your arrest for the premeditated murder of Jason "Sonny" Cross.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Willie Nelson?
Jody - Band Member #1: I'm Willie Nelson.
Bee - Band Member #2: I'm Willie Nelson.
Mickey - Band Member #3: I'm Willie Nelson.
Willie Nelson: Don't think they're goin' for it, boys.
Lt. Randall Disher: Mr. Nelson, we have a warrant for your arrest for the premeditated murder of Jason "Sonny" Cross.
TV Show: Monk
Sharona: Aunt Minn's not coming here. I'm going there. My, ah, flight leaves in about an hour, and... I'm gonna be gone for seven days.
Monk: In a row?
Monk: In a row?
TV Show: Monk
[Adrian empties his pockets of all his baggied items, including his money.]
Security Guard: You didn't have to put them in baggies, sir.
Sharona: No, he did.
Security Guard: You didn't have to put them in baggies, sir.
Sharona: No, he did.
TV Show: Monk
Monk: She forgot she was a vegetarian? Who forgets they're vegetarian? It's like... forgetting you're a Republican.
TV Show: Monk
[Monk is talking to Lt. Disher on an airplane phone.]
Disher: Are you really up there in an airplane?
Monk: It's better than being up here not in an airplane.
Disher: Are you really up there in an airplane?
Monk: It's better than being up here not in an airplane.
TV Show: Monk
[Stephan's girlfriend locks Monk inside the bathroom while he is changing. He starts banging on the door and Sharona comes to rescue him.]
Monk: Sharona! Open up! This isn't funny!
[Sharona opens the door. Monk pops out, clutching a piece of paper.]
Sharona: What's that?
Monk: It's my will.
Monk: Sharona! Open up! This isn't funny!
[Sharona opens the door. Monk pops out, clutching a piece of paper.]
Sharona: What's that?
Monk: It's my will.
TV Show: Monk
Little Girl: Pete and Repeat got in a boat. Pete fell out. Who was left?
Adrian Monk: Repeat.
[Scene repeats]
Adrian Monk: Repeat.
[Scene repeats]
TV Show: Monk
Stottlemeyer: Well, I guess this is your worst nightmare, a crime scene on a rooftop.
Monk: No, it's not my worst nightmare. It's my fourth worst. No, wait, fifth. No, fourth. Fourth or fifth, I didn't bring the list with me.
Monk: No, it's not my worst nightmare. It's my fourth worst. No, wait, fifth. No, fourth. Fourth or fifth, I didn't bring the list with me.
TV Show: Monk
Monk: [repeating Derek Philby's words back to him] Q.E.D. Quod erat demonstratum. "Thus it is proven."
TV Show: Monk
Adrian Monk: Used to be. Um... I'm a private consultant now, and, uh... I'm just helping the department with their report.
[takes paper towel, reaches for the coffee pot with the regular coffee, and starts pouring it into the pot with the decaf]
Adrian Monk: Were you all here when Miss Landow died?
First Teacher: That's right. The students were taking their SATs. We were proctoring the test.
Adrian Monk: So - so you were all together? [looks closely at the pots to make sure they are even]
First Teacher: No, we were in different classrooms.
Sharona Fleming: Adrian...!
[Monk is not happy with the measurements. So he tries mixing the two pots together while trying to even them out]
Derek Philby: Excuse me, what are you doing?
Adrian Monk: Oh - um... just making them even.
Derek Philby: [highly amused at the little display] But you're mixing the regular with the decaf!
Adrian Monk: But they're even.
Derek Philby: But they're mixed together!
Adrian Monk: But they're - they're even.
Derek Philby: But they're mixed together.
Adrian Monk: But they're even...
Derek Philby: But they're mixed together.
Adrian Monk: But they're even...
[changes the subject]
[takes paper towel, reaches for the coffee pot with the regular coffee, and starts pouring it into the pot with the decaf]
Adrian Monk: Were you all here when Miss Landow died?
First Teacher: That's right. The students were taking their SATs. We were proctoring the test.
Adrian Monk: So - so you were all together? [looks closely at the pots to make sure they are even]
First Teacher: No, we were in different classrooms.
Sharona Fleming: Adrian...!
[Monk is not happy with the measurements. So he tries mixing the two pots together while trying to even them out]
Derek Philby: Excuse me, what are you doing?
Adrian Monk: Oh - um... just making them even.
Derek Philby: [highly amused at the little display] But you're mixing the regular with the decaf!
Adrian Monk: But they're even.
Derek Philby: But they're mixed together!
Adrian Monk: But they're - they're even.
Derek Philby: But they're mixed together.
Adrian Monk: But they're even...
Derek Philby: But they're mixed together.
Adrian Monk: But they're even...
[changes the subject]
TV Show: Monk
[Monk's suitcases, filled with food and water, get stolen]
Monk: What am I going to eat and drink?
Sharona: Adrian, they have food and water in Mexico.
Monk: Answer the question! What am I going to eat and drink!?
Monk: What am I going to eat and drink?
Sharona: Adrian, they have food and water in Mexico.
Monk: Answer the question! What am I going to eat and drink!?
TV Show: Monk
[After Monk has turned up, having been presumed dead]
Monk: [tortured] That officer outside told me I was dead. I'm not dead... am I?
Monk: [tortured] That officer outside told me I was dead. I'm not dead... am I?
TV Show: Monk
[Monk has been presumed dead]
Stottlemeyer: I want a full-dress funeral, white gloves and black armbands, twenty-one gun salute. I want the governor there, and I want the mayor to give a eulogy...
Disher: Monk wasn't on active duty, sir. We can't go full-dress...
Stottlemeyer: Adrian Monk is to be buried with honors, or I quit! Let me tell you something, Lieutenant, and I'm not afraid to say this: I loved that man.
[The phone rings.]
Stottlemeyer: [answers] Stottlemeyer... yes. Yes, I understand.
[hangs up]
Stottlemeyer: Adrian Monk is alive.
[And now he has to cancel all his funeral arrangements!]
Stottlemeyer: I HATE THAT MAN!
Stottlemeyer: I want a full-dress funeral, white gloves and black armbands, twenty-one gun salute. I want the governor there, and I want the mayor to give a eulogy...
Disher: Monk wasn't on active duty, sir. We can't go full-dress...
Stottlemeyer: Adrian Monk is to be buried with honors, or I quit! Let me tell you something, Lieutenant, and I'm not afraid to say this: I loved that man.
[The phone rings.]
Stottlemeyer: [answers] Stottlemeyer... yes. Yes, I understand.
[hangs up]
Stottlemeyer: Adrian Monk is alive.
[And now he has to cancel all his funeral arrangements!]
Stottlemeyer: I HATE THAT MAN!
TV Show: Monk
Lt. Plato: Maybe you come back alone, you can earn some more necklaces.
Sharona: Why does everybody keep mentioning my necklaces?
Lt. Plato: They are fiesta beads.
Sharona: What are fiesta beads?
Lt. Plato: You don't remember how you got them?
Sharona: Ahh, no.
Lt. Plato: Guys give them to girls... at parties.
Sharona: Oh, what for?
[Lt. Plato whispers to Sharona]
Sharona: [gasps] Oh my God, why didn't you tell me?!
Lt. Plato: You wore them so... proudly!
Sharona: Why does everybody keep mentioning my necklaces?
Lt. Plato: They are fiesta beads.
Sharona: What are fiesta beads?
Lt. Plato: You don't remember how you got them?
Sharona: Ahh, no.
Lt. Plato: Guys give them to girls... at parties.
Sharona: Oh, what for?
[Lt. Plato whispers to Sharona]
Sharona: [gasps] Oh my God, why didn't you tell me?!
Lt. Plato: You wore them so... proudly!
TV Show: Monk
[explaining what happened, hoarsely, as he hasn't drank any water in days]
Monk: He was a thirsty victim...
Sharona: Adrian.
Monk: I mean, the perfect victim.
Monk: He was a thirsty victim...
Sharona: Adrian.
Monk: I mean, the perfect victim.
TV Show: Monk
[Monk gets baseball star Scott Gregorio to coach Benjy at batting practice.]
Sharona: Thank you, Adrian! [pause] I thought I'd thank you now, because in a half an hour, you're probably gonna piss me off again.
Monk: You're welcome.
Sharona: Thank you, Adrian! [pause] I thought I'd thank you now, because in a half an hour, you're probably gonna piss me off again.
Monk: You're welcome.
TV Show: Monk
Scott Gregorio: They say that when you lose an arm, you can still feel it. That's what it feels like. I miss her so much. How do you... how do you go on? How do you keep working?
Adrian Monk: When Trudy fell in love with me, I was a detective. I was on the street, breaking cases. So I keep working. I keep trying to be the man she loved. That's all you can do: be the man she loved.
Adrian Monk: When Trudy fell in love with me, I was a detective. I was on the street, breaking cases. So I keep working. I keep trying to be the man she loved. That's all you can do: be the man she loved.
TV Show: Monk
[Monk solves the case, and brings a videotape to prove his theory.]
Monk: Can I make a prediction here? You're each going to say, "Oh, my God" twice.
Sharona: Okay, here it is!
Monk: Don't blink.
[They watch the video.]
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Oh, my God.
Lt. Disher: Oh, my God!
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Oh, my...
Lt. Disher: Oh, my God!
Monk: [off Stottlemeyer's look] My God.
Monk: Can I make a prediction here? You're each going to say, "Oh, my God" twice.
Sharona: Okay, here it is!
Monk: Don't blink.
[They watch the video.]
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Oh, my God.
Lt. Disher: Oh, my God!
Capt. Stottlemeyer: Oh, my...
Lt. Disher: Oh, my God!
Monk: [off Stottlemeyer's look] My God.
TV Show: Monk