Monte Carlo Quotes
[Jim and Wheely both suddenly notice that Herbie is gone]
Jim Douglas: Herbie!
Wheely Applegate: You mean no Herbie.
Jim Douglas: Herbie!
Wheely Applegate: You mean no Herbie.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Charlie Chan: Humble presence is of no more consequence than one drop of rain in cloudburst.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Claude Gilbert: Congratulations, Douglas. You have just won the right to taste my dust tomorrow.
Bruno Von Stickle: And mine, Douglas. Today, you break my record. But tomorrow, I return your hello-comeback into goodbye forever. Auf Wiedersehen.
Bruno Von Stickle: And mine, Douglas. Today, you break my record. But tomorrow, I return your hello-comeback into goodbye forever. Auf Wiedersehen.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: I have a system that can't miss. If I happened to be standing beside a brunette I bet on red. If I am standing next to a readhead I bet on black.
Armand: But suppose you're standing next to a blonde. What do you do then?
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: I ask where she lives.
Armand: But suppose you're standing next to a blonde. What do you do then?
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: I ask where she lives.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Countess Helene Mara: After all there's a little difference between us.
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: The only difference between us is that you are a woman and I am a man. That's all.
Countess Helene Mara: No, I'm afraid not. I happen to be a countess.
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: Yes, I'm a... I am a hairdresser. Alright I am a hairdresser.
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: The only difference between us is that you are a woman and I am a man. That's all.
Countess Helene Mara: No, I'm afraid not. I happen to be a countess.
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: Yes, I'm a... I am a hairdresser. Alright I am a hairdresser.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Diane Darcy: [she sees the taxi driver laughing, when really at something other strange he heard about her car and Herbie on the radio, but thinking that it's over the fact that they are missing] Do you think this is something to laugh about?
Taxi driver: [while still chuckling] Forgive me, madamoiselle, I laugh at the radio. Two cars take a ride on the Bateau Mouche. Would you believe such a thing?
Taxi driver: [while still chuckling] Forgive me, madamoiselle, I laugh at the radio. Two cars take a ride on the Bateau Mouche. Would you believe such a thing?
Movie: Monte Carlo
Insp. Bouchet: Yes, yes, yes. But, uh, are you sure that all the security precautions had been taken?
Monsieur Ribeaux: I've searched my memory. Could I have forgotten something?
Det. Fontenoy: [interrupting their discussion] Inspector, some residue of a footprint. I might have overlooked it, but I seemed to hear your voice calling out Fontenoy, remember, no clue is too small.
[chuckles]
Insp. Bouchet: Did you also here me saying Take it to the lab and get it analyzed, Fontenoy?
Monsieur Ribeaux: I've searched my memory. Could I have forgotten something?
Det. Fontenoy: [interrupting their discussion] Inspector, some residue of a footprint. I might have overlooked it, but I seemed to hear your voice calling out Fontenoy, remember, no clue is too small.
[chuckles]
Insp. Bouchet: Did you also here me saying Take it to the lab and get it analyzed, Fontenoy?
Movie: Monte Carlo
Jim Douglas: [signing in to the qualifying round] Douglas and Applegate.
Race official: Douglas. Ah, yes, Monsieur Douglas. You're in the heat after this one. Good luck.
Bruno Von Stickle: That's the same heat I'm in, Douglas. You're going to need more than luck. You're going to need wings.
Wheely Applegate: Oh, yeah? Well, you may just be in for a little surprise.
Bruno Von Stickle: [chuckles] I can see your surprise. It is very little.
[Herbie drives his front wheels onto a hose with a squirter at the end which Von Stickle is using to wash his car; where he look straight at it, wondering what happened to the water. Right on target, Herbie goes off the hose, and causes Von Stickle to get squirted in the face]
Jim Douglas: Look for an even bigger surprise when the race starts.
Race official: Douglas. Ah, yes, Monsieur Douglas. You're in the heat after this one. Good luck.
Bruno Von Stickle: That's the same heat I'm in, Douglas. You're going to need more than luck. You're going to need wings.
Wheely Applegate: Oh, yeah? Well, you may just be in for a little surprise.
Bruno Von Stickle: [chuckles] I can see your surprise. It is very little.
[Herbie drives his front wheels onto a hose with a squirter at the end which Von Stickle is using to wash his car; where he look straight at it, wondering what happened to the water. Right on target, Herbie goes off the hose, and causes Von Stickle to get squirted in the face]
Jim Douglas: Look for an even bigger surprise when the race starts.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Jim Douglas: [about Herbie] He's out of his mind.
Wheely Applegate: He's out of his mind, all right. Over that luscious little Lancia.
Wheely Applegate: He's out of his mind, all right. Over that luscious little Lancia.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Jim Douglas: [trying to think of any clue of where Herbie and the Lancia could be, but Diane misunderstands him and thinks that he is trying to be fresh with her] Where would you take a boyfriend on his first night to Paris?
Diane Darcy: 'Boyfriend?' Don't tell me this is your cute way of making a pass.
Jim Douglas: If I had romance in mind, would he be along?
[points to Wheely]
Wheely Applegate: Right.
[suddenly makes an annoyed-looking frown]
Diane Darcy: 'Boyfriend?' Don't tell me this is your cute way of making a pass.
Jim Douglas: If I had romance in mind, would he be along?
[points to Wheely]
Wheely Applegate: Right.
[suddenly makes an annoyed-looking frown]
Movie: Monte Carlo
Jim Douglas: Is that a knocking I hear in the gas tank?
Wheely Applegate: Not in my gas tank. Never!
Jim Douglas: Sounds like something clonking around in there.
Wheely Applegate: [not giving in to any problems that could deprive them from their chance of winning the race] Well, we either listen to the driver and stop to take the gas tank apart, or we listen to the mechanic and try to win this race.
Jim Douglas: I'm listening to the mechanic.
Wheely Applegate: Not in my gas tank. Never!
Jim Douglas: Sounds like something clonking around in there.
Wheely Applegate: [not giving in to any problems that could deprive them from their chance of winning the race] Well, we either listen to the driver and stop to take the gas tank apart, or we listen to the mechanic and try to win this race.
Jim Douglas: I'm listening to the mechanic.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Jim Douglas: We've lost our car, and we'd like to know if you've seen it by any chance.
Diane Darcy: Who cares about your silly Volkswagen? My Lancia has been stolen!
Waiter: [points to Diane] Uh, your car.
[then points over to Jim and Wheely]
Waiter: And your car.
Jim Douglas: Yes.
Waiter: I saw them both.
Diane Darcy: Then you saw who stole them?
Waiter: You would not believe this. I would not believe this. No one would believe this.
Jim Douglas: What?
Waiter: I think they steal each other.
Diane Darcy: Who cares about your silly Volkswagen? My Lancia has been stolen!
Waiter: [points to Diane] Uh, your car.
[then points over to Jim and Wheely]
Waiter: And your car.
Jim Douglas: Yes.
Waiter: I saw them both.
Diane Darcy: Then you saw who stole them?
Waiter: You would not believe this. I would not believe this. No one would believe this.
Jim Douglas: What?
Waiter: I think they steal each other.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Jim Douglas: You listen to me, Herbie, and you listen good. Now, you and I did not come out of mothballs to be the laughingstock of the continent.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Max: Excuse me, sir. There's some very impressive racing cars here, but I don't seem to see the little Volkswagen.
Showroom MC: Ah, you mean the Douglas car. It will be here. Patience, my friend, patience.
Quincey: If one more person says "patience" to me, I'll - ...
[Max taps his shoulder]
Max: We better have it now, because if we don't turn up with that diamond, Double X is going to mark the spot where we're buried.
Quincey: [sees Herbie finally arriving] Here, here. Don't dig our graves just yet.
Showroom MC: Ah, you mean the Douglas car. It will be here. Patience, my friend, patience.
Quincey: If one more person says "patience" to me, I'll - ...
[Max taps his shoulder]
Max: We better have it now, because if we don't turn up with that diamond, Double X is going to mark the spot where we're buried.
Quincey: [sees Herbie finally arriving] Here, here. Don't dig our graves just yet.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Max: Right on schedule. Just ten steps to six million dollars.
Quincey: One step to Devil's Island, if anything touches that floor.
Quincey: One step to Devil's Island, if anything touches that floor.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Wheely Applegate: [about a French man's response to a racing story he just told him] I didn't understand what he was saying.
Jim Douglas: That's OK. He didn't understand what you were saying either. Come to think of it, I don't think *I* understood what you were saying.
Jim Douglas: That's OK. He didn't understand what you were saying either. Come to think of it, I don't think *I* understood what you were saying.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Wheely Applegate: [about a French man's response to a racing story he just told him] I didn't understand what he was saying.
Jim Douglas: That's OK. He didn't understand what you were saying either. Come to think of it, I don't think *I* understood what you were saying.
Jim Douglas: That's OK. He didn't understand what you were saying either. Come to think of it, I don't think *I* understood what you were saying.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Wheely Applegate: [about Jim and Herbie the car] Don't let his modesty or this little car coming out of retirement fool you. There isn't a finer tuned cleaner engine anywhere.
Bruno Von Stickle: I'm sure it should be easy to keep clean. All you got to do is drop it in the washing machine, along with your socks.
Wheely Applegate: Appreciate your humor. But just don't you worry about this little washing machi - ...
[Jim elbows him]
Wheely Applegate: - car!
[Von Sticle cracks up at his slip of tongue]
Wheely Applegate: It's a REAL JEWEL!
Bruno Von Stickle: I'm sure it should be easy to keep clean. All you got to do is drop it in the washing machine, along with your socks.
Wheely Applegate: Appreciate your humor. But just don't you worry about this little washing machi - ...
[Jim elbows him]
Wheely Applegate: - car!
[Von Sticle cracks up at his slip of tongue]
Wheely Applegate: It's a REAL JEWEL!
Movie: Monte Carlo
Wheely Applegate: All taken care of, Jim. Had a little talk with Herbie. Had to straighten him out. I don't mind having a car that's got a heart, but I will not tolerate a car falling in love with another car.
Jim Douglas: What did you expect him to fall in love with? The Goodyear blimp?
Wheely Applegate: The Goodyear - - Yeah.
[laughs]
Wheely Applegate: Anyway, I said "Listen Herbie, we're over here for one thing and one thing only. And that's to make the biggest comeback in racing history. So, no women in training camp. You just forget that little chick, and you can do it. Just a matter of mind over metal."
Jim Douglas: What did you expect him to fall in love with? The Goodyear blimp?
Wheely Applegate: The Goodyear - - Yeah.
[laughs]
Wheely Applegate: Anyway, I said "Listen Herbie, we're over here for one thing and one thing only. And that's to make the biggest comeback in racing history. So, no women in training camp. You just forget that little chick, and you can do it. Just a matter of mind over metal."
Movie: Monte Carlo
Charlie Chan: [to Lee at dining table] Can assist in negotiating one order of waffles without danger of arrest?
Movie: Monte Carlo
Claude Gilbert: Congratulations, Douglas. You have just won the right to taste my dust tomorrow.
Bruno Von Stickle: And mine, Douglas. Today, you break my record. But tomorrow, I return your hello-comeback into goodbye forever. Auf Wiedersehen.
Bruno Von Stickle: And mine, Douglas. Today, you break my record. But tomorrow, I return your hello-comeback into goodbye forever. Auf Wiedersehen.
Movie: Monte Carlo
[Max, on the phone at a phone booth, panicking of telling him his news about progress of attempting to get back their stolen diamond]
Max: Double X? Uh, yeah. I'm afraid we- we- we've had another complication.
Insp. Bouchet: [through the phone] I'm beginning to think that you're the complication!
[now showing him at his office]
Insp. Bouchet: [nearly yells it through the phone, but suddenly realizes his receptionist just across the glass wall, and gets his voice down and addresses the diamond in a way, so he couldn't hear him talking about the diamond in a way that reveals any clue that he is behind the diamond robbery] THAT- That item should have been in my hands by now!
Max: [through the phone] Oh, don't worry, sir. It's still in the gas tank.
Insp. Bouchet: Then bring me the gas tank! What are you waiting for?
Max: [shown on the phone at the phone booth] We've lost them again, sir. We don't know where they are.
Max: Double X? Uh, yeah. I'm afraid we- we- we've had another complication.
Insp. Bouchet: [through the phone] I'm beginning to think that you're the complication!
[now showing him at his office]
Insp. Bouchet: [nearly yells it through the phone, but suddenly realizes his receptionist just across the glass wall, and gets his voice down and addresses the diamond in a way, so he couldn't hear him talking about the diamond in a way that reveals any clue that he is behind the diamond robbery] THAT- That item should have been in my hands by now!
Max: [through the phone] Oh, don't worry, sir. It's still in the gas tank.
Insp. Bouchet: Then bring me the gas tank! What are you waiting for?
Max: [shown on the phone at the phone booth] We've lost them again, sir. We don't know where they are.
Movie: Monte Carlo
[In the final stage of the race, Bruno Von Stickle won't let Herbie pass him]
Wheely Applegate: Dirty road hog! Why doesn't he learn how to drive?
Jim Douglas: He knows how to drive, that's the trouble!
[They go round a pair of sharp curves, and Von Stickle does a better job of taking them than Herbie]
Wheely Applegate: Yeah, I see what you mean.
Wheely Applegate: Dirty road hog! Why doesn't he learn how to drive?
Jim Douglas: He knows how to drive, that's the trouble!
[They go round a pair of sharp curves, and Von Stickle does a better job of taking them than Herbie]
Wheely Applegate: Yeah, I see what you mean.
Movie: Monte Carlo
[Jim and Wheely both suddenly notice that Herbie is gone]
Jim Douglas: Herbie!
Wheely Applegate: You mean "no Herbie."
Jim Douglas: Herbie!
Wheely Applegate: You mean "no Herbie."
Movie: Monte Carlo
[Jim and Wheely suddenly notices Herbie is gone]
Jim Douglas: Herbie!
Wheely Applegate: You mean, no Herbie.
Jim Douglas: Herbie!
Wheely Applegate: You mean, no Herbie.
Movie: Monte Carlo
[Max, on the phone at a phone booth, panicking of telling him his news about progress of attempting to get back their stolen diamond]
Max: Double X? Uh, yeah. I'm afraid we- we- we've had another complication.
Insp. Bouchet: [through the phone] I'm beginning to think that you're the complication!
[now showing him at his office]
Insp. Bouchet: [nearly yells it through the phone, but suddenly realizes his receptionist just across the glass wall, and gets his voice down and addresses the diamond in a way, so he couldn't hear him talking about the diamond in a way that reveals any clue that he is behind the diamond robbery] THAT- That "item" should have been in my hands by now!
Max: [through the phone] Oh, don't worry, sir. It's still in the gas tank.
Insp. Bouchet: Then bring me the gas tank! What are you waiting for?
Max: [shown on the phone at the phone booth] We've lost them again, sir. We don't know where they are.
Max: Double X? Uh, yeah. I'm afraid we- we- we've had another complication.
Insp. Bouchet: [through the phone] I'm beginning to think that you're the complication!
[now showing him at his office]
Insp. Bouchet: [nearly yells it through the phone, but suddenly realizes his receptionist just across the glass wall, and gets his voice down and addresses the diamond in a way, so he couldn't hear him talking about the diamond in a way that reveals any clue that he is behind the diamond robbery] THAT- That "item" should have been in my hands by now!
Max: [through the phone] Oh, don't worry, sir. It's still in the gas tank.
Insp. Bouchet: Then bring me the gas tank! What are you waiting for?
Max: [shown on the phone at the phone booth] We've lost them again, sir. We don't know where they are.
Movie: Monte Carlo
[Wheely and Jim are dusussing to each other about females]
Wheely Applegate: They never say what they mean. That's what makes the female the species deadlier than the male.
Jim Douglas: You read that some place?
Wheely Applegate: Yes, and I've got a mother, three sisters, and two ex-wives to prove it. Oh, they never told me they wanted me out of the house, but every time I came home, the lock was changed.
Wheely Applegate: They never say what they mean. That's what makes the female the species deadlier than the male.
Jim Douglas: You read that some place?
Wheely Applegate: Yes, and I've got a mother, three sisters, and two ex-wives to prove it. Oh, they never told me they wanted me out of the house, but every time I came home, the lock was changed.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Countess Helene Mara: After all there's a little difference between us.
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: The only difference between us is that you are a woman and I am a man. That's all.
Countess Helene Mara: No, I'm afraid not. I happen to be a countess.
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: Yes, I'm a... I am a hairdresser. Alright I am a hairdresser.
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: The only difference between us is that you are a woman and I am a man. That's all.
Countess Helene Mara: No, I'm afraid not. I happen to be a countess.
Count Rudolph Falliere a.k.a. Rudy the hairdresser: Yes, I'm a... I am a hairdresser. Alright I am a hairdresser.
Movie: Monte Carlo
Countess Helene Mara: oh, oh, oh, oh... ohohohoo... that feels good... oh,oh... that feels even better... you must have electricity in your hands. I've never felt like this before! Gorgeous!
Movie: Monte Carlo