Mr. Show Quotes
Ronnie Dobbs (David): Y'all wear condoms on both your ears, I think it's funny. [Cough and groan]
TV Show: Mr. Show
Gold tooth in "Rap The Musical" (Bob): Well, I'm an old gold tooth, and I'll tell you the truth. I live in the mouth of my homie.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Nathan, the exotic animal lover (David): Just like I killed Bilbo...and the cockatiel...with a book!
TV Show: Mr. Show
"Grass Valley" Greg Sniper (David): Goats are the only animals with an innate sense of democracy. That’s why they're called "Nature's President".
TV Show: Mr. Show
Greg Sniper's accountant (Bob): He spent a hundred million dollars on a campaign to legalize tomatoes, which I assume worked, because I had a tomato yesterday, and I'm not in jail, am I?
TV Show: Mr. Show
Greg Sniper's accountant (Bob): Goats are stupid, mean, and hardheaded animals. That’s why they're called "Nature's President".
TV Show: Mr. Show
Globo-Chem Theme Parks Division chairman (Bob): When you see the new San Francisco, you'll say "San Fran-tastic!"
TV Show: Mr. Show
Globo-Chem Theme Parks Division chairman (Bob): We are sensitive to the needs of those suffering from homophobia. So in our new San Francisco, we got rid of the dirt, but kept the pansies by creating "Bachelorland".
TV Show: Mr. Show
Sir Isaac Newton (Paul F. Tompkins): My father touched my butthole. This made me thirst for knowledge.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Ty Keenan, basketball recruiter (Bob): I'm thinking about of running away from my grandma's house.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Boss in "A Second Wind" (Dave Foley): So Todd - you know we're considering you for this big promotion, right?
Husband in "A Second Wind" (David): Yes sir.
Boss in "A Second Wind" (Dave Foley): Well, what'd you think of my wife's casserole?
Husband in "A Second Wind" (David): Uhh...it was good!
Boss in "A Second Wind" (Dave Foley): Really? I don't hear you farting.
Husband in "A Second Wind" (David): Yes sir.
Boss in "A Second Wind" (Dave Foley): Well, what'd you think of my wife's casserole?
Husband in "A Second Wind" (David): Uhh...it was good!
Boss in "A Second Wind" (Dave Foley): Really? I don't hear you farting.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Gary, the blind guy Bob "helps" (David): Bob? BOB?! I don't spend my day fucking around on a television show. I have a company to run.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Movie exec with cat eyes (David): Where's your golden public now? I'll tell you where. They're all laughing. Laughing at you. They're laughing at the big fat asshole.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Movie exec boss (John Ennis): We'll sue the pants off of 'em!!!
Movie exec (Bob): And then we'll sell them pants!
Movie exec (Bob): And then we'll sell them pants!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Judge in "Coupon: The Movie" trial (Bob): May I remind you that I am not on trial here ... until next week.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Dad of "gay" son (John Ennis): You gay bastard!!! No gay son of mine isn't not-gay, you better get gay or I'll make you gay!!!
TV Show: Mr. Show