Mr. Show Quotes
Victor, the dumped landlord (Bob): Is Victor now to fix the sun? I cannot get up there.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Shamul/Anwar (David/Paul F. Tompkins): I spit on your spit. I piss on your spit. I shit on your piss. I fart on your shit. I laugh at your fart. We are friends again! Hey!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Dylan, the pretentious hipster (David): Jupiter's Thunder!!! Rock & Roll is the most criminal of garbages...it is a crutch...it is a crutch! It will never sully my ears!!!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Panzic Poojaran (David): Everyday people go into restaurants, and they...they take the condiments, and they take them and put them on the plate and mix it up and put it in their glass and they dare their friends to drink it. They...they think it is funny. RIGHT NOW I WOULD DRINK IT! AND I WOULD THANK THEM FOR IT!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Panzic Poojaran (David): If I die ... if I die ... tell my people ... to bury me ... in mashed potatoes!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Grandpa Timmy (unknown): And testicular electrocution would be administered to all those who get into monkeyshines!
TV Show: Mr. Show
NASA spokesman (David): We have the technology. The time is now. Science can wait no longer. Children are our future. America can, should, must, and will blow up the moon.
TV Show: Mr. Show
San Francisco protester (Sarah Silverman): We're spending all this money, millions of dollars, to blow up the moon, when there are so many things here on Earth to blow up ... Mount Everest, the North Pole, et cetera. We're earthlings, let's blow up Earth things!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Father of streaker Jimmy Montello (John Ennis): I slave 12 hours a day making pepper, to put clothes on your back, so you can go taking them off?!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Carl Espick, editor of Value magazine (David): The Great Caruso wasn't nearly as great as, say, SAMMY HAGAR, the red rocker!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Science program host (Bob): Scientists have ascertained that there may be as many as... 24 stars in the cosmos.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Kedzie Matthews (Tom Kenny): Watch as Mrs. Vila gets half of This Old House in "This Old Divorce"!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Jack Weber (Bob): Here's a simple test to see if your child is really a costumed dwarf: hit him in the head with a hammer.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Jack Weber (Bob): Just because a child is defiant doesn't mean they want to overthrow the government. Maybe they just want a cookie, a game, some attention...attention that a drunken father cannot provide...I'm sorry, Tim.
TV Show: Mr. Show
Marriage Con & Boat Show seminar host (Jill Talley): Men 'R' Stupid...ta da! Women 'R' Stupider. We need to get married! I did it! Get in line! Get in line, you dumb bitch!
TV Show: Mr. Show
Benjamin Gerard, ice cream purveyor (David): "Rock & Roll Double Chunk". It has chocolate in it, and we figure if people like Rock & Roll music, they'll like this, cause it says "Rock & Roll" on it.
TV Show: Mr. Show
"Last Indian" piece narrator (Tom Kenny): I fuckin' saw God, Jack. And I laughed in his fuckin' face!
TV Show: Mr. Show