Muppets Tonight Quotes
[The crew just performed Delerious for Prince]
TAFKAP: That's wonderful, but I ain't into the leather and lace look much anymore, guys
Gonzo the Great: Oh, good, 'cause this bustier is killing me, heheh.
[...]
TAFKAP: By the way, Gonzo. You are definitely workin' these pumps 'n fishnets.
TAFKAP: That's wonderful, but I ain't into the leather and lace look much anymore, guys
Gonzo the Great: Oh, good, 'cause this bustier is killing me, heheh.
[...]
TAFKAP: By the way, Gonzo. You are definitely workin' these pumps 'n fishnets.
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[Clifford introduces the guest star]
Clifford: ..., an incredible performer, and the most unusual name in showbusiness, right here. [shows The Symbol]
Bobo the Bear: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, how many drawings of my mother are out there?
Clifford: ..., an incredible performer, and the most unusual name in showbusiness, right here. [shows The Symbol]
Bobo the Bear: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, how many drawings of my mother are out there?
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Narrator: Muppets Tonight presents: The Hardy Pigboys in the Mystery of the Zombiequeen of the Amazon Outerspace Jungle beewoman case... Based on a novel by Jane Austen... Argh, who wrote this?
Andy & Randy: Eh, we did! ... Here we are. Andy 'n Randy Hardy Pigboys... Us, junior spaceboy-pigdetectives, marooned on a straaange planet! Because we are here to solve a mys-te-ry!
Bee Soldier: Zzzzzzzzz! Erm. Who are you?
Andy & Randy: This mystery is too hard!
Andy & Randy: Eh, we did! ... Here we are. Andy 'n Randy Hardy Pigboys... Us, junior spaceboy-pigdetectives, marooned on a straaange planet! Because we are here to solve a mys-te-ry!
Bee Soldier: Zzzzzzzzz! Erm. Who are you?
Andy & Randy: This mystery is too hard!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[21 Muppet heights - a soap opera with Johnny Fiama as Clark Barr, Sal as Chaz and Heather Locklear as Diamanda]
Clark Barr: Well well well, Chaz, what are you doing here? Where is Diamanda? Where is she?
Chaz: She's in the bedroom and she won't come out, Johhny!
Clark Barr: Mmmm. ... [with teeth tight] It's not Johnny, it's Clark, Chaz!
Chaz: Okay, Clark Chaz.
Clark Barr: No, no, no, you, you're Chaz, I'm Clark - Clark Barr.
Chaz: Clark bar, mmmmm! Clark bar like the candy?
Clark Barr: What you talkin' about? It's my na... Oh right, forget about it, just do your lines, Sal!
Chaz: Ok Johhny. I mean Clark - Chaz, I m... Clark. ... er
Clark Barr: Where was I? Where was I? Oh yes, yes, yes! Ha ha! Oh, I can't believe this, me the most powerful lawyer in 21 Muppet Heights, and you[disbelief is apparent] a succesful male supermodel, here we are, both being taken advantage of by Diamanda. Come out, come out, Diamanda, and let the world see the evil side of womanhood!
Diamanda: Hey guys! Look, I've knitted mittens! For everyone!
Clark Barr: Mittens?
Clark Barr: Well well well, Chaz, what are you doing here? Where is Diamanda? Where is she?
Chaz: She's in the bedroom and she won't come out, Johhny!
Clark Barr: Mmmm. ... [with teeth tight] It's not Johnny, it's Clark, Chaz!
Chaz: Okay, Clark Chaz.
Clark Barr: No, no, no, you, you're Chaz, I'm Clark - Clark Barr.
Chaz: Clark bar, mmmmm! Clark bar like the candy?
Clark Barr: What you talkin' about? It's my na... Oh right, forget about it, just do your lines, Sal!
Chaz: Ok Johhny. I mean Clark - Chaz, I m... Clark. ... er
Clark Barr: Where was I? Where was I? Oh yes, yes, yes! Ha ha! Oh, I can't believe this, me the most powerful lawyer in 21 Muppet Heights, and you[disbelief is apparent] a succesful male supermodel, here we are, both being taken advantage of by Diamanda. Come out, come out, Diamanda, and let the world see the evil side of womanhood!
Diamanda: Hey guys! Look, I've knitted mittens! For everyone!
Clark Barr: Mittens?
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Bunsen: Let's go over some of the equipment you'll be needing to host the show this evening, mister Bond.
007: Thank you, Bunsen, but, er... I'm not really James Bond, I'm just... Pierce Brosnan, Heh!
Bunsen: Oooh, Whatever you say, 007, wink, wink!
Beaker: Wink, wink, wink!
007: Thank you, Bunsen, but, er... I'm not really James Bond, I'm just... Pierce Brosnan, Heh!
Bunsen: Oooh, Whatever you say, 007, wink, wink!
Beaker: Wink, wink, wink!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Bunsen: Over here, I like to show you, this: which call this our "Deadly Alarm Clock".
007: I see! And how 'oes that work?
Bunsen: Well we put it in a great big slingshot and fire it point blank at somebodies head. It really hurts!
007: I see! And how 'oes that work?
Bunsen: Well we put it in a great big slingshot and fire it point blank at somebodies head. It really hurts!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Clifford: Welcome to Muppets Tonight, the show that can be seen everywhere from Istanbul to Constantinople.
Rizzo: Clifford, haven't you heard? Istanbul is Constantinople!
Clifford: Wadda ya mean?
[Four rats pop up and sing a rendition of 'Istanbul (Not Constantinople)' by The Four Lads]
Rats: Istanbul was Constantinople.
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.
Been a long time gone, Constantinople.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks!
Rizzo: Clifford, haven't you heard? Istanbul is Constantinople!
Clifford: Wadda ya mean?
[Four rats pop up and sing a rendition of 'Istanbul (Not Constantinople)' by The Four Lads]
Rats: Istanbul was Constantinople.
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople.
Been a long time gone, Constantinople.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Clifford: [Adressing the Audience] Excuse me while I see what we have in our vast reservoire of talent. Later! [Walks off to meet Rizzo] Yo, Riz, Riz! What ya got for me?
Rizzo: Well, I'm afraid our vast reservoire is more like a vast desert. All we got is dancing grandmas!
Clifford: Oah, that doesn't sound good!
Rizzo: It's either that or Seymore and Pepe doing German opera.
[Seymour and Pepe do their song]
Seymour: Hi, there!
Pepe: Ah, Aah!
Seymour: I'm Tristan.
Pepe: I'm Isolde.
Together: We're two of a kind!
Pepe: We both wear lederhosen,
Seymour: and we're swimming up the Rhine.
Together: Tadaa!
Clifford: I'll go and introduce the grandmas.
Rizzo: Yeah.
Rizzo: Well, I'm afraid our vast reservoire is more like a vast desert. All we got is dancing grandmas!
Clifford: Oah, that doesn't sound good!
Rizzo: It's either that or Seymore and Pepe doing German opera.
[Seymour and Pepe do their song]
Seymour: Hi, there!
Pepe: Ah, Aah!
Seymour: I'm Tristan.
Pepe: I'm Isolde.
Together: We're two of a kind!
Pepe: We both wear lederhosen,
Seymour: and we're swimming up the Rhine.
Together: Tadaa!
Clifford: I'll go and introduce the grandmas.
Rizzo: Yeah.
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[Waldorf and Statler watch The Dancing Grandmas]
Statler: Woo-Wooh! Look at her shake that thing!
Waldorf: And what thing is that?
Statler: [pause] I don't remember! [both laugh]
Statler: Woo-Wooh! Look at her shake that thing!
Waldorf: And what thing is that?
Statler: [pause] I don't remember! [both laugh]
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Clifford: Yo, yo, yo, Pierce, where-a ya been, man? We need you for the spy-in-the-casino sketch.
007: Oh, good, good, good! What does that involve?
Clifford: You know... the usual! Where the spy has a fight scene, dances with beautiful women, gets tortured and saves the day!
007: [pauses for a moment while staring blankly] And what do I do?
Clifford: That is what you'll be doing, man, just like in your movies.
007: But Clifford, this is live television. In the movies we plan everyting and we do it over and over again until we get it right. I mean: we have stunt-men and special effects and we go to exotic locations like... Istanbul and... Constantinople.
[The Four rats pop up again.]
Rats: Now every gal in Constantinople,
lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople,
so if you've a date, in Constantinople,
she'll be waiting in Istanbul!
007: You know Clifford, that annoying and repetitive rat-song , has given me time to think: I'll do the sketch!
007: Oh, good, good, good! What does that involve?
Clifford: You know... the usual! Where the spy has a fight scene, dances with beautiful women, gets tortured and saves the day!
007: [pauses for a moment while staring blankly] And what do I do?
Clifford: That is what you'll be doing, man, just like in your movies.
007: But Clifford, this is live television. In the movies we plan everyting and we do it over and over again until we get it right. I mean: we have stunt-men and special effects and we go to exotic locations like... Istanbul and... Constantinople.
[The Four rats pop up again.]
Rats: Now every gal in Constantinople,
lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople,
so if you've a date, in Constantinople,
she'll be waiting in Istanbul!
007: You know Clifford, that annoying and repetitive rat-song , has given me time to think: I'll do the sketch!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[James Bond meets the bad guy in the casino]
007: Hey Blowfish, you up to your old tricks of playing pinochle again, hey?
Blowfish: It's blackjack, you fool!
007: So, changed your name to Black Jack? Very clever! But I still recognise you!
[...]
MC: [French accent] Ladies and gentleman, The Maman Casino is proud to present the song stylings of... Miss Porky Galore!
007: Hey Blowfish, you up to your old tricks of playing pinochle again, hey?
Blowfish: It's blackjack, you fool!
007: So, changed your name to Black Jack? Very clever! But I still recognise you!
[...]
MC: [French accent] Ladies and gentleman, The Maman Casino is proud to present the song stylings of... Miss Porky Galore!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[Swift Wits, the fastest game-show on earth. Hosted by Nookie Blier]
Nookie Blier: Here is today's contestant, mister Arthur Model.I understand you have a very interesting story about the time you had a sea cruise with the Dalai Lama?
Arthur Model: Yes, Nookie, you see: we were a...
Nookie Blier: Ahah. Okay Arthur. I said you have a interesting story. I didn't say that I wanted to hear it!
Nookie Blier: Here is today's contestant, mister Arthur Model.I understand you have a very interesting story about the time you had a sea cruise with the Dalai Lama?
Arthur Model: Yes, Nookie, you see: we were a...
Nookie Blier: Ahah. Okay Arthur. I said you have a interesting story. I didn't say that I wanted to hear it!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[The Rock Lobsters enter the KMUP building and encounter Bobo the Security Bear, who is on the phone]
Band leader: After we do our number, we take over the studio and make our demands!
Drummer: Okay!
Bobo: Hey, hey, hey, hey!! What are you guys doing here?
Band leader: Eh, we're the Rock Lobsters, we're here to do our big Rock Lobster song on the show.
Drummer: Yeah, and then we're gonna take over the studio!
Band leader: [to drummer] Sssht, Chatterhead! [to Bobo] He was talking about how, how bears will believe anything you tell 'em.
Bobo: [laughs] You got that right! Ah, have a good day, fellows!
Band leader: After we do our number, we take over the studio and make our demands!
Drummer: Okay!
Bobo: Hey, hey, hey, hey!! What are you guys doing here?
Band leader: Eh, we're the Rock Lobsters, we're here to do our big Rock Lobster song on the show.
Drummer: Yeah, and then we're gonna take over the studio!
Band leader: [to drummer] Sssht, Chatterhead! [to Bobo] He was talking about how, how bears will believe anything you tell 'em.
Bobo: [laughs] You got that right! Ah, have a good day, fellows!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[007 juggles with Andy and Randy Pig.]
007: Coming at you Nancy, coming at you Clancy! [Throws clubs at the Pigs]
Andy: [As clubs hit them on the head] Aw! We should have found out what juggling is. Aw!
007: There we go. Coming at you. Don't lose interest.
Randy: Aw. Why is he hitting us?
Andy and Randy: This job is too hard!
007: Coming at you Nancy, coming at you Clancy! [Throws clubs at the Pigs]
Andy: [As clubs hit them on the head] Aw! We should have found out what juggling is. Aw!
007: There we go. Coming at you. Don't lose interest.
Randy: Aw. Why is he hitting us?
Andy and Randy: This job is too hard!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[The Rock Lobsters are nearing the end of their song.]
Clifford: [to Rizzo] Figure those lobsters out there: aren't they cute? With their little lobster outfits, their little lobster guitars and their little lobster semi-automatic weopons.
[Rizzo and Clifford both laugh, until it hits them]
[Cut to stage]
Band leader: [Interspersed with enthousiastic support from his peers] Keep that camera turned on me, or we will shoot you! Shellfish of the world, unite! We, the Crustacean Liberation Army, are taking over the Muppet Studios! Here we will announce our plans for world domination. Here are our demands: First, that from now on, when someone's in bad mood, no-more calling them 'crabs'. Second: when someone is short, no-more calling them 'shrimps'.
Drummer: [Freaking out] Yeah, because that's one thing that really burns us.
Band leader: Take it easy, Ed. [Ed calms] Third: No more movies based on old tv-shows.
Drummer: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, that's right! But... wait a minute, what's that got to do with shellfish?
Band leader: Nothing. It's for the benefit of all mankind!
[Cut to backstage]
Clifford: Well, You got to agree with them on that one!
Clifford: [to Rizzo] Figure those lobsters out there: aren't they cute? With their little lobster outfits, their little lobster guitars and their little lobster semi-automatic weopons.
[Rizzo and Clifford both laugh, until it hits them]
[Cut to stage]
Band leader: [Interspersed with enthousiastic support from his peers] Keep that camera turned on me, or we will shoot you! Shellfish of the world, unite! We, the Crustacean Liberation Army, are taking over the Muppet Studios! Here we will announce our plans for world domination. Here are our demands: First, that from now on, when someone's in bad mood, no-more calling them 'crabs'. Second: when someone is short, no-more calling them 'shrimps'.
Drummer: [Freaking out] Yeah, because that's one thing that really burns us.
Band leader: Take it easy, Ed. [Ed calms] Third: No more movies based on old tv-shows.
Drummer: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, that's right! But... wait a minute, what's that got to do with shellfish?
Band leader: Nothing. It's for the benefit of all mankind!
[Cut to backstage]
Clifford: Well, You got to agree with them on that one!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Band leader: [still making fierce demands] ...demand number 49: 'Istanbul should be changed back to Constantinople'.
[The four rats pop up and sing their song again]
Rats: So take me back to Constantinople.
No, you can't go back to Constantinople.
Been a long time gone, Constantinople.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks! Hey!!
Band leader: All right, so it wasn't a real demand, I just wanted to hear that song again! Anyway, until our demands are met, we rule the airwaves! We will control the entertainment on this show! We will put on what we wanna see! Men, what do we wanna see? [they discuss it amongst themselves] You're kidding me! Sure? [the men agree] Right then, we choose to put on... The Dancing Grandmas!!
[The four rats pop up and sing their song again]
Rats: So take me back to Constantinople.
No, you can't go back to Constantinople.
Been a long time gone, Constantinople.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks! Hey!!
Band leader: All right, so it wasn't a real demand, I just wanted to hear that song again! Anyway, until our demands are met, we rule the airwaves! We will control the entertainment on this show! We will put on what we wanna see! Men, what do we wanna see? [they discuss it amongst themselves] You're kidding me! Sure? [the men agree] Right then, we choose to put on... The Dancing Grandmas!!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Statler: Boy, watching these grandmas has me feeling something I haven't felt in years.
Waldorf: What's that?
Statler: My pulse! [Both laugh]
Waldorf: What's that?
Statler: My pulse! [Both laugh]
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[After five minutes, the demands have still not been met]
Band leader: To show you serious we are: Bring out the hostages! Heheheheh!
[Seymour and Pepe are being brought in, begging for mercy"]
Band leader: So, how does it feel now that you're about to be sacrificed, big-shot-capitalistic entertainers? Let's hear you sing now."
Seymour and Pepe: "Okay."
[Seymour and pepe perform their song for the second time ever on the air]
Pepe: Heheheh!
Seymour: I'm Seymour.
Pepe: I'm Pepe.
Seymour and Pepe: We're two of a kind.
Pepe: We're about to be sacrificed,
Seymour: and I've got a big behind?
Pepe: [to the lobsters] If we only had a little more time to prepare, okay. [Seymour agrees]
Band leader: Silence! Take 'em away before they sing again!
Band leader: To show you serious we are: Bring out the hostages! Heheheheh!
[Seymour and Pepe are being brought in, begging for mercy"]
Band leader: So, how does it feel now that you're about to be sacrificed, big-shot-capitalistic entertainers? Let's hear you sing now."
Seymour and Pepe: "Okay."
[Seymour and pepe perform their song for the second time ever on the air]
Pepe: Heheheh!
Seymour: I'm Seymour.
Pepe: I'm Pepe.
Seymour and Pepe: We're two of a kind.
Pepe: We're about to be sacrificed,
Seymour: and I've got a big behind?
Pepe: [to the lobsters] If we only had a little more time to prepare, okay. [Seymour agrees]
Band leader: Silence! Take 'em away before they sing again!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Cheerleaders: [Cheering] Grouper, grouper, give a shout, he's the guy that buys you out Goooo Grouper.
Kermit the Frog: Excuse me, but who are you?
Cheerleaders: We're the corporate majorettes. [One bimbo punches Kermit in the face]
Kermit the Frog: What did you do that for?
Bimbo: This is a hostile make-over.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: [Entering] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! That is take-over, you bubblehead! Now get back to the limo. I don't know why I made them senior executive vice-presidents.
Clifford and Kermit: Woof!!
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Ah, now I remember.
Kermit the Frog: Excuse me, but who are you?
Cheerleaders: We're the corporate majorettes. [One bimbo punches Kermit in the face]
Kermit the Frog: What did you do that for?
Bimbo: This is a hostile make-over.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: [Entering] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! That is take-over, you bubblehead! Now get back to the limo. I don't know why I made them senior executive vice-presidents.
Clifford and Kermit: Woof!!
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Ah, now I remember.
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Kermit the Frog: Hello everyone, Kermit the Fr... [Ernst Stavros Grouper coughs] Virgil the Monkey here.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Make the noise
Kermit the Frog: Ee, ee, ee, oo, oo, oo. O.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: I love this little monkey.
Kermit the Frog: Anyway: I want to introduce you to the new owner of our station, Mr. Ernst Stavros Grouper.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Now, as your new owner I would like to get to know each of you by name: Who are you?
Rizzo the Rat: Well, I'm Rizzo the Rat
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Not anymore, now you're Alfred the Worm!
Rizzo the Rat: What the...?
Ernst Stavros Grouper: And you: Who are you?
Bobo the Bear: Err, I'm Bobo the Bear.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Not anymore, now... you're... Whitley Nibbles the Television Elf.
Bobo the Bear: Allright.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: And, er, let's see, who, who are you?
Bill the Bubbleguy: Well, I'm, err,... Bob, and, Err,... raisins come out of my Ears.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: No, you are Bill, and bubbles come out of your head.
Bill the Bubbleguy: Yes! It worked.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Now, now, now. There will be a few more changes. Number One: Yellow will be known as the official color of naughtiness. Number two: I expect you all to anticipate my needs before they are spoken.
Rizzo the Rat: Number three.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Very good, Alfred, my obsiquious little worm.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Make the noise
Kermit the Frog: Ee, ee, ee, oo, oo, oo. O.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: I love this little monkey.
Kermit the Frog: Anyway: I want to introduce you to the new owner of our station, Mr. Ernst Stavros Grouper.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Now, as your new owner I would like to get to know each of you by name: Who are you?
Rizzo the Rat: Well, I'm Rizzo the Rat
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Not anymore, now you're Alfred the Worm!
Rizzo the Rat: What the...?
Ernst Stavros Grouper: And you: Who are you?
Bobo the Bear: Err, I'm Bobo the Bear.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Not anymore, now... you're... Whitley Nibbles the Television Elf.
Bobo the Bear: Allright.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: And, er, let's see, who, who are you?
Bill the Bubbleguy: Well, I'm, err,... Bob, and, Err,... raisins come out of my Ears.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: No, you are Bill, and bubbles come out of your head.
Bill the Bubbleguy: Yes! It worked.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Now, now, now. There will be a few more changes. Number One: Yellow will be known as the official color of naughtiness. Number two: I expect you all to anticipate my needs before they are spoken.
Rizzo the Rat: Number three.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Very good, Alfred, my obsiquious little worm.
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Kermit the Frog: Err, Mr. Grouper
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Yes my little funky monkey
Kermit the Frog: I am a frog, I am not a monkey,
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Yes, and the Elephant Man is a human being, what else is new!
Kermit the Frog: Well, I tell you what's new. Just because you bought the company does not give you the right to come in here and push the Muppets around.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: What are you saying Virgil?
Kermit the Frog: I tell you what I'm saying: if the muppets can't be who the muppets are, then I quit, Grouper, I quit, quit, quit!
Ernst Stavros Grouper: [sweet] Virgil, Virgil, my spunky little funky monkey, you cannot quit.
Kermit the Frog: Why is that?
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Because you're fired!! Muhahahaha!
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Yes my little funky monkey
Kermit the Frog: I am a frog, I am not a monkey,
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Yes, and the Elephant Man is a human being, what else is new!
Kermit the Frog: Well, I tell you what's new. Just because you bought the company does not give you the right to come in here and push the Muppets around.
Ernst Stavros Grouper: What are you saying Virgil?
Kermit the Frog: I tell you what I'm saying: if the muppets can't be who the muppets are, then I quit, Grouper, I quit, quit, quit!
Ernst Stavros Grouper: [sweet] Virgil, Virgil, my spunky little funky monkey, you cannot quit.
Kermit the Frog: Why is that?
Ernst Stavros Grouper: Because you're fired!! Muhahahaha!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[Clifford is depressed because Dennis Quaid is good at everything]
Bobo the Bear: [to Clifford] Oh, oh, oh, well: Dennis Quaid is doing great! Yeahyeah, you know: you guys really ought to do this show together, you know, well, we can call it the, er, the Dennis Quaid and Clifford Muppet Good Time Hour Featuring Dennis Quaid! Huhhuh, haa!
Bobo the Bear: [to Clifford] Oh, oh, oh, well: Dennis Quaid is doing great! Yeahyeah, you know: you guys really ought to do this show together, you know, well, we can call it the, er, the Dennis Quaid and Clifford Muppet Good Time Hour Featuring Dennis Quaid! Huhhuh, haa!
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
Sal Minella: Hey, Johnny, I just met this girl at the studio nextdoor, and we're going out tonight! And get this, get this: she's got a sister!
Johnny Fiama: No, no Sal, forget it. No, no, no! I've been on your monkey double dates before, and they spend the entire evening trying to pick bugs outta my hair.
Sal Minella: Oh, come on, come on, Johnny, just meet them.
Johnny Fiama: No, absofalutely not.
Johnny Fiama: No, no Sal, forget it. No, no, no! I've been on your monkey double dates before, and they spend the entire evening trying to pick bugs outta my hair.
Sal Minella: Oh, come on, come on, Johnny, just meet them.
Johnny Fiama: No, absofalutely not.
TV Show: Muppets Tonight
[The Real World Muppets]
Darci: [singing to Clifford] I hate men, I hate men, all men should die, death to al men, [to Rizzo the Rat] I hate rats too. [not singing] So what'ya think?
Rizzo the Rat: [confessional] Mmmm. What could we do? We had to tell her her song was great. she threatened to read us her poetry!
Darci: [singing to Bobo the Bear] Bears are killers, killers of sheep, killers of Bambi, bears should all die. Kill them, kill them. [not singing] So, what'ya think?
Bobo the Bear: Er, it's a little, little, little one-sided.
Darci: So, is it because I'm a woman, I'm not supposed to express my opinions?
Bobo the Bear: Oh, oh, no, no, we, er, it's, er, it's easy to dance to.
Darci: So, that's more like it.
Bobo the Bear: Oh, good, Well, Will you give me the keys to the fridge now, Darci?
[...]
Darci: ...we worked it out. Like all good roommates we came to a compromise.
Clifford, Bobo and Rizzo: [singing to Darci] We hate angry women, who write songs, who hate men,
Rizzo the Rat: One, two!
Clifford, Bobo and Rizzo: and who were raised by wolves.
Darci: [singing to Clifford] I hate men, I hate men, all men should die, death to al men, [to Rizzo the Rat] I hate rats too. [not singing] So what'ya think?
Rizzo the Rat: [confessional] Mmmm. What could we do? We had to tell her her song was great. she threatened to read us her poetry!
Darci: [singing to Bobo the Bear] Bears are killers, killers of sheep, killers of Bambi, bears should all die. Kill them, kill them. [not singing] So, what'ya think?
Bobo the Bear: Er, it's a little, little, little one-sided.
Darci: So, is it because I'm a woman, I'm not supposed to express my opinions?
Bobo the Bear: Oh, oh, no, no, we, er, it's, er, it's easy to dance to.
Darci: So, that's more like it.
Bobo the Bear: Oh, good, Well, Will you give me the keys to the fridge now, Darci?
[...]
Darci: ...we worked it out. Like all good roommates we came to a compromise.
Clifford, Bobo and Rizzo: [singing to Darci] We hate angry women, who write songs, who hate men,
Rizzo the Rat: One, two!
Clifford, Bobo and Rizzo: and who were raised by wolves.
TV Show: Muppets Tonight