My Best Girl Quotes

Ma Johnson: I've been to the loveliest funeral, Pa.

Movie: My Best Girl
Ma Johnson: I've been to the loveliest funeral, Pa.

Movie: My Best Girl
Maggie Johnson: I love you, Joe... but I can never, never marry you.
[pause]

Maggie Johnson: It's my family, Joe... they need me more than you do.

Pa Johnson: Like hell we do!

Movie: My Best Girl
Maggie Johnson: I love you, Joe... but I can never, never marry you. [pause]
Maggie Johnson: It's my family, Joe... they need me more than you do.
Pa Johnson: Like hell we do!

Movie: My Best Girl
Maggie Johnson: I love you, Joe... but I can never, never marry you.
[pause]

Maggie Johnson: It's my family, Joe... they need me more than you do.

Pa Johnson: Like hell we do!

Movie: My Best Girl
Maggie Johnson: He's a swell actor - his uncle knows Lon Chaney!

Movie: My Best Girl
Pa Johnson: [to Ma Johnson] The next funeral you go to will be your own!

Movie: My Best Girl
Pa Johnson: [to Ma Johnson] The next funeral you go to will be your own!

Movie: My Best Girl
Professor Turner: See I always knew your mom was the best it was ever going to get for me. And I never asked the more important question which is, was I the best it was ever going to get for her?

Movie: My Best Girl
Professor Turner: The truth will set you free but before it does; It's gonna piss you off!

Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: I would kick you in the ass, but my foot might get sucked in.

Alexis: Well I would kick you in the dick, but my foot might get Herpes.

Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: Easy, Urlacher. Ever notice it's the linebackers concerned with people not eating? If the pussy police here would stop ordering her french fries tempura...
Claire: I just had a child!
Tank: Well, congratulations. I'm sure he was probably delicious. Looks like you downed the whole thing.

Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: [Addressing Alexis] Well at least I can hide my shame in my pants. What really sucks is having the ass the size of a miniature Mediterranean donkey.

Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: Whats the plan for tonight? Bring this girl back here. Pop open a bottle of chloroform. Insert tab A in slot b, repeat as necessary.

Movie: My Best Girl
Tank: How do I bump into her?
Craig: She's a high school English teacher.
Tank: I can't really hang around high school these days unfortunately.

Movie: My Best Girl