My Boys Quotes
PJ: I don't know what just happened.
Bobby: Well, sometimes a man and a woman get... a special feeling.
PJ: Shut up!
Bobby: Well, sometimes a man and a woman get... a special feeling.
PJ: Shut up!
TV Show: My Boys
Andy: Brendan, tell me your heaviest piece of furniture.
Brendan: Thousand pound bed!
Mike: (echo) Thousand pound... bed. Why would you say thousand pound bed?
Brendan: Thousand pound bed!
Mike: (echo) Thousand pound... bed. Why would you say thousand pound bed?
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: Princess Frostine.
Kenny: She's kind of cute.
Mike: Bonjour, princess.
Andy: I hope that's a lollipop...
Kenny: She's kind of cute.
Mike: Bonjour, princess.
Andy: I hope that's a lollipop...
TV Show: My Boys
Stephanie: What were you thinking sleeping with Bobby? And how was it?
PJ: I don't know what I was thinking. And it was a solid B. Perfect attendance, didn't turn in all of his homework.
PJ: I don't know what I was thinking. And it was a solid B. Perfect attendance, didn't turn in all of his homework.
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: Hey, just for the sake of argument... it was *this* week?
PJ: Yes.
Andy: Is that what you called?
Brendan: It is, pay it up! Come on!
Mike: You couldn't hold out until Halloween, could you?
PJ: Wait a second here, you guys bet on when I would break up with Hank?
Brendan: Oh yeah, we do it for all the guys you date.
Andy: It's the first time I lost.
PJ: Oh, I'm so sorry to disappoint you.
PJ: Yes.
Andy: Is that what you called?
Brendan: It is, pay it up! Come on!
Mike: You couldn't hold out until Halloween, could you?
PJ: Wait a second here, you guys bet on when I would break up with Hank?
Brendan: Oh yeah, we do it for all the guys you date.
Andy: It's the first time I lost.
PJ: Oh, I'm so sorry to disappoint you.
TV Show: My Boys
Kenny: Well, now that he's history, I think it's safe to tell you that Mike couldn't stand him.
Mike: Oh! I liked him more than you did!
Kenny: That's not saying much.
Mike: Oh! I liked him more than you did!
Kenny: That's not saying much.
TV Show: My Boys
PJ: Okay, that was Greg Zonar, and I didn't date him, he was stalking me.
Kenny: Mike stalked a girl once. But, Mike stalks a lot of girls.
Kenny: Mike stalked a girl once. But, Mike stalks a lot of girls.
TV Show: My Boys
Kenny: Fine, we start and finish on three. No fingernails, no disengaging your grip early. In the event of a dispute, we're gonna bring in a neutral party...
Mike: I know the rules of a thumb fight!
Mike: I know the rules of a thumb fight!
TV Show: My Boys
PJ: (to Kenny) Hey, don't feel bad, you did better than last year, okay?
Mike: It was odd, it was like little girl hands.
Mike: It was odd, it was like little girl hands.
TV Show: My Boys
Kenny: I'm going on the record, I think Dani's great.
PJ: Puh-lease.
Kenny: Come on, she's cool, she's funny, she's sm-
PJ: Don't you dare say smart!
Kenny: Smurfy.
Stephanie: That's the only word you can think of that begins with "sm-"?
PJ: You were gonna say smart. About a woman who thought she was having dinner in another state.
Brendan: You know what guys, I feel like I've seen her before.
PJ: Oh hey, does this help jog your memory? (begins making porn music sounds and talking in a whispery voice) Oh, Mr. Cable Man-
Stephanie: (in a deep voice) Yes?
PJ: (in porn voice) I want all your channels!
Brendan: Wow, dinner and a movie.
Kenny: I've seen this one.
PJ: Puh-lease.
Kenny: Come on, she's cool, she's funny, she's sm-
PJ: Don't you dare say smart!
Kenny: Smurfy.
Stephanie: That's the only word you can think of that begins with "sm-"?
PJ: You were gonna say smart. About a woman who thought she was having dinner in another state.
Brendan: You know what guys, I feel like I've seen her before.
PJ: Oh hey, does this help jog your memory? (begins making porn music sounds and talking in a whispery voice) Oh, Mr. Cable Man-
Stephanie: (in a deep voice) Yes?
PJ: (in porn voice) I want all your channels!
Brendan: Wow, dinner and a movie.
Kenny: I've seen this one.
TV Show: My Boys
PJ: That was not Fun Andy!
Stephanie: Yes it was! Don't you remember? Fun Andy was the reason you spent your sweet sixteen party in the emergency room.
PJ: No, he had an allergic reaction.
Stephanie: To cocaine! You take sweet little lovable Andy and you cut him loose and he turns into Mr. Hyde. Or Dr. Jekyll. Who was the one with the fangs?
PJ: Dracula?
Stephanie: Yes it was! Don't you remember? Fun Andy was the reason you spent your sweet sixteen party in the emergency room.
PJ: No, he had an allergic reaction.
Stephanie: To cocaine! You take sweet little lovable Andy and you cut him loose and he turns into Mr. Hyde. Or Dr. Jekyll. Who was the one with the fangs?
PJ: Dracula?
TV Show: My Boys
Aunt Phyllis: These are petanque boules that I won off of an old man in Provence.
PJ: Oh wow, these boules are... what are these?
Aunt Phyllis: It's lawn bowling, but much more pretentious.
PJ: Should we go out and... petanque?
Aunt Phyllis: I've got a better idea, why don't we go to a bar and get pe-tanked?
PJ: Oh wow, these boules are... what are these?
Aunt Phyllis: It's lawn bowling, but much more pretentious.
PJ: Should we go out and... petanque?
Aunt Phyllis: I've got a better idea, why don't we go to a bar and get pe-tanked?
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: You're a good friend.
Bobby: You're a good friend too.
Mike: You're a really good friend.
Bobby: You're a really good friend.
PJ: Alright, before you two start making out can we please get back to the game!
Andy: This has been my favorite episode of Gilmore Girls.
Mike: Alright! (throws poker chip at Andy)
Andy: (in Valley Girl imitation) You guys were mad at each other, but then you got back together!
Bobby: You're a good friend too.
Mike: You're a really good friend.
Bobby: You're a really good friend.
PJ: Alright, before you two start making out can we please get back to the game!
Andy: This has been my favorite episode of Gilmore Girls.
Mike: Alright! (throws poker chip at Andy)
Andy: (in Valley Girl imitation) You guys were mad at each other, but then you got back together!
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: Come on, Kenny, the guy tried to bring a goat into Wrigley Field.
Kenny: The goat had a ticket.
Brendan: It wasn't Goat Day.
Kenny: That's why he bought a ticket. Otherwise he'd have got in free.
Kenny: The goat had a ticket.
Brendan: It wasn't Goat Day.
Kenny: That's why he bought a ticket. Otherwise he'd have got in free.
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: I made out with my 10th grade English teacher, Miss Francis.
PJ: What?!
Mike: No, nonononono! It was two years ago, not when I was in high school. That would have been totally creepy.
Brendan: Did you call her Miss Francis?
Mike: Yes.
Brendan: That's still pretty creepy.
PJ: What?!
Mike: No, nonononono! It was two years ago, not when I was in high school. That would have been totally creepy.
Brendan: Did you call her Miss Francis?
Mike: Yes.
Brendan: That's still pretty creepy.
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: You know, something's been bugging me the last couple of days. Did Brendan put a baby in your stomach?
PJ: Yes, she lives with my mother.
Andy: That's who that little girl is! The one in the rock shirts with the five o'clock shadow.
PJ: Yes, she lives with my mother.
Andy: That's who that little girl is! The one in the rock shirts with the five o'clock shadow.
TV Show: My Boys
Kenny: Mexican Freddy's really not Mexican.
Andy: Sure, just like they call fat guys "tiny" or ugly guys "handsome."
Kenny: What?
Andy: You know what I'm talking about, handsome.
Andy: Sure, just like they call fat guys "tiny" or ugly guys "handsome."
Kenny: What?
Andy: You know what I'm talking about, handsome.
TV Show: My Boys
PJ: You know, it's a funny thing about your wife, Andy, it turns out she does not feast on human flesh.
TV Show: My Boys
Mexican Freddy: It turns out I was working out my issues with my father... on your face.
TV Show: My Boys
PJ: I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It is totally my fault and I'm sorry.
Brendan: But are you sorry?
Brendan: But are you sorry?
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: We're celebrating, Bobby got his old job back!
Bobby: Yup, pay cut and everything.
Andy: Yeah, and I'm helping him celebrate while traffic clears.
PJ: It's nine o'clock, I think traffic's clear.
Andy: It worked! Let's celebrate!
Bobby: Yup, pay cut and everything.
Andy: Yeah, and I'm helping him celebrate while traffic clears.
PJ: It's nine o'clock, I think traffic's clear.
Andy: It worked! Let's celebrate!
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: This is just the beginning. Today, The Turk Vardell Show. Tomorrow, SportsCenter.
Kenny: For two years. Then, The PJ Franklin Show. [Kenny and Mike scat an improvised theme song ending with PJ]
Brendan: Oh man, you're gonna be huge. National. I mean, you're gonna become America's sweetheart.
Bobby: Then you'll buy an enormous mansion, marry a rock star, develop a drug problem, become a recluse, disappear for a while... you know, lots of rumours that you're dead.
Mike: Then you're not! You reemerge with a brief stint on a cheesy reality show because you gotta lose the recluse weight.
Kenny: Then, you get your comeback. The New PJ Franklin Show. Same theme song! [Kenny and Mike do PJ theme song again]
Bobby: And then, it's time to write your crappy children's book, Even Unicorns Say I'm Sorry.[Kenny and Mike scat some more.]
Kenny: For two years. Then, The PJ Franklin Show. [Kenny and Mike scat an improvised theme song ending with PJ]
Brendan: Oh man, you're gonna be huge. National. I mean, you're gonna become America's sweetheart.
Bobby: Then you'll buy an enormous mansion, marry a rock star, develop a drug problem, become a recluse, disappear for a while... you know, lots of rumours that you're dead.
Mike: Then you're not! You reemerge with a brief stint on a cheesy reality show because you gotta lose the recluse weight.
Kenny: Then, you get your comeback. The New PJ Franklin Show. Same theme song! [Kenny and Mike do PJ theme song again]
Bobby: And then, it's time to write your crappy children's book, Even Unicorns Say I'm Sorry.[Kenny and Mike scat some more.]
TV Show: My Boys
Mike: Sweet! Oh we are totally going. Oh, there will be a ton of women there hoping to glom on to one of the sexy bachelors.
Kenny: But we're not one of 'em.
Mike: Nope, but we know one. So we hover around Brando all night and when the moment's right, bang!
Kenny: Bang!
Mike: We swoop in to snag his drunken castoffs.
Andy: (falsetto) Daddy, how did you meet Mommy? (deep voice) Well dear, Mommy was a drunken castoff.
Bobby: Yeah, see, she wanted to go home with Uncle Brando that night, but Daddy was in the right place at the right time.
PJ: Daddy, do you think I can be a drunken castoff someday?
Andy: Dare to dream, sweetie. Goodnight.
Kenny: But we're not one of 'em.
Mike: Nope, but we know one. So we hover around Brando all night and when the moment's right, bang!
Kenny: Bang!
Mike: We swoop in to snag his drunken castoffs.
Andy: (falsetto) Daddy, how did you meet Mommy? (deep voice) Well dear, Mommy was a drunken castoff.
Bobby: Yeah, see, she wanted to go home with Uncle Brando that night, but Daddy was in the right place at the right time.
PJ: Daddy, do you think I can be a drunken castoff someday?
Andy: Dare to dream, sweetie. Goodnight.
TV Show: My Boys
Trouty: Hey, Sportin' Life, what number sexy are you?
Bobby: Uh, I'm not on the list, Trouty.
Trouty: What? Interrobang? What happened? Do you photograph puffy? Were you having a bad hair day? Although, you do kind of actively pursue that. I'm phmished. Ampersand flummoxed.
Bobby: Actually, Brendan is on the list, so.
Trouty: What number sexy are you?
Brendan: Thirty-seven.
Trouty: (winces) Slam! No man, that's cool. I mean, the important thing is that you're all up in there swinging.
Bobby: Uh, I'm not on the list, Trouty.
Trouty: What? Interrobang? What happened? Do you photograph puffy? Were you having a bad hair day? Although, you do kind of actively pursue that. I'm phmished. Ampersand flummoxed.
Bobby: Actually, Brendan is on the list, so.
Trouty: What number sexy are you?
Brendan: Thirty-seven.
Trouty: (winces) Slam! No man, that's cool. I mean, the important thing is that you're all up in there swinging.
TV Show: My Boys