My Name Is Earl Quote
[A cop goes to Club Chubby's per a police complaint]
Cop: What is the problem here, ladies?
Catalina: The problem is, officer, that this perra stole my regular!
Cop: Alright, alright! Now let's hear Perra's side of the story.
Dancer: He's my regular now! You weren't around! A man's got needs, and I got everything he needs [smacks butt] right here, okay?!
Cop: What's your side of the story, sir?
Nescobar: I don't know why they're fighting! They have both sat on my lap, they are both now my wives.
Cop: Sir, just because a girl sits on your lap doesn't mean you're married to her!
Catalina: You shouldn't even sit on a man's lap; you'll break his legs.
Dancer: [Looks confused]
Catalina: I'm calling you fat.
Dancer: Oh, you should not have explained that!
Nescobar: Wives, wives! I have enough seed for both of you. The skinny one, I will lay with you for pleasure. The thick one, you will birth my sons.
Catalina: See? He called you thick!
[The two girls tackle and fight each other on a pool table; the cop restrains Nescobar from breaking up the fight]
Cop: Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on! Let's see where this goes.
Club Announcer: [V/O] Gentlemen, there is a catfight at the pool table!
Cop: What is the problem here, ladies?
Catalina: The problem is, officer, that this perra stole my regular!
Cop: Alright, alright! Now let's hear Perra's side of the story.
Dancer: He's my regular now! You weren't around! A man's got needs, and I got everything he needs [smacks butt] right here, okay?!
Cop: What's your side of the story, sir?
Nescobar: I don't know why they're fighting! They have both sat on my lap, they are both now my wives.
Cop: Sir, just because a girl sits on your lap doesn't mean you're married to her!
Catalina: You shouldn't even sit on a man's lap; you'll break his legs.
Dancer: [Looks confused]
Catalina: I'm calling you fat.
Dancer: Oh, you should not have explained that!
Nescobar: Wives, wives! I have enough seed for both of you. The skinny one, I will lay with you for pleasure. The thick one, you will birth my sons.
Catalina: See? He called you thick!
[The two girls tackle and fight each other on a pool table; the cop restrains Nescobar from breaking up the fight]
Cop: Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on! Let's see where this goes.
Club Announcer: [V/O] Gentlemen, there is a catfight at the pool table!
TV Show: My Name Is Earl
