Mystery Science Theater 3000 Quote


Dr. Forrester: Oh, Joel, the stories I could tell you of... frenzied bachelor parties, and exotic dancers jumping out of cakes... sounds exciting? Sure... but around midnight, there you are, frustrated and disappointed with a fake cake you can't eat and a dancer named Candy who has to leave to drive her baby-sitter home! What've you got?
TV's Frank: Nothin'
Dr. Forrester: That's why we've combined dessert, *and* objectifying the human body. In one easy cake mix: Cake n' Shake! A real exotic dancer included!
TV's Frank: That's right, Clay! Now gluttony and exploitation serves eight! And just think: Now even mom, dad, and the kids can enjoy a Chippendale dancer at little Jimmy's seventh birthday! Oh, Clay! Can I tempt you with some dessert?
Dr. Forrester: Oh, Frank, this looks wonderful! You've outdone yourself! Just a sliver...
TV's Frank: Oh, it was nothing! I merely followed the easy to read instructions right on the box! And hey, here's a tip: Just fold the exotic dancer right into the cake, that way you save a step! You don't have to wait for the cake to finish baking!
Dr. Forrester: I'll remember that for my cake for the next bake sa-... You what? You baked a person in it? An hour at 350?

TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000

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