Mystery Science Theater 3000 Quotes
Crow T. Robot: There's always a boring shot.
Joel: Yeah.
Tom Servo: My shorts are never boring.
Joel: Thank you, Tom.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: They've broken our code! And the sergeant was a grasshopper undercover!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: think they were going for a 'Touch of Evil' feel, but they got a touch of somethin' else.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: This is really something. I don't know what, but it's something.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: This is the kind of movie you don't pause when you leave the room
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: This is what lonely people did before sci-fi conventions.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: This movie means two things to me: Sheet cake and back fat.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Trash talking wasn't very good yet. All you could say was "ARRGHGHR."
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Well, a good thing about the movie was it wasn't any longer.
Joel: And a bad thing?
Crow T. Robot: It was this long.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Well, just come to see what you've done with all the grant money... [shouts]
Crow T. Robot: Oh, my God!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Well, let's see... fourteen minutes to live. Wonder if I can get a pizza in that time?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Well, the music's awful, but at least it's drowning out the dialogue.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: What, no headbutt this morning? Honeymoon over?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Whenever they test nuclear bombs, it's the monsters who suffer.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: Why not men in Little Bo Peep costumes with stinky cigars explaining the facts of life to our unsuspecting daughters? I, for one...
Tom Servo: Yes! Yes! Mr. Crow! I don't think we should stop there! Let's break down ALL the barriers. Hairy men in Spartan costumes holding bake sales on shady boulevards! Naked jock-strap wrestling! Big...
Joel: Gentlemen, I have Commercial Sign, I'm sorry.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: With all my parts, I could've made an excellent vacuum-cleaner. Instead, it's the movies that suck!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: You know it's gonna be funny, he's wearing corderoy
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Crow T. Robot: You're really stupid if you get hit by a car AFTER the Apocalypse.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Dr. Forrester: [after Joel gives a horrible invention exchange. TV's Frank is crying in the background] I think you die, Joel! Heh-heh-heh... Well, your experiment this week is going to be hard to keep down. It's called The Unearthly and it stars John Carradine and Tor Johnson, plus two stinky shorts. [shouts]
Dr. Forrester: Frank, shut up! [Frank cries louder in defiance]
Dr. Forrester: Enjoy!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Dr. Forrester: [on the electric bag pipes] I love it! Look, Larry's cornias are bleeding!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Dr. Forrester: [planning on injecting Lawrence] Now, let's see... It's so hard to find a spot I haven't hit... Uh, what's this flower? And who's Roseanne?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000