Mystery Science Theater 3000 Quotes
Tom Servo: Hey Lord of the Pants. Can you tear yourself away from yourself for a minute?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Hey, Mike, is that Satan's butt? Oh, no, wait, it's that guy's face.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Hey, they threw Alanis Morissette in prison.
Mike Nelson: Finally.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Hey, they're doctors, but they do puppet shows, too!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Hi, everyone, kind of a tough moment. We just tapped into earth's geneology records and discovered the cause of this simian holocaust. You see, virtually every single one of Mike's decendants married apes!
Mike Nelson: Come on, all my grandkids?
Crow: Yep.
Mike Nelson: What about great grandchildren?
Crow: Checking... yes! Francis Nelson married a macaque, otherwise they all married great apes.
Tom Servo: You can see why he's upset folks.
Crow: Thomas Ryan Nelson married a slow lorus. Kevin R.W. Nelson, probably a great great grandchild, who married a ruffed lemur... Yep! Your family liked its monkeys Mike!
Mike Nelson: Thomas Ryan Nelson married a slow lorus. Kevin R.W. Nelson, probably a great great grandchild, who married a ruffed lemur... Yep! Your family liked its monkeys Mike!
Crow: Oh it was quite unusual... hey hey hey hey, here's a Wilburt H. Nelson who married a Sara Thompson of Oak Park Illinois. Uh Ohhh... seems he kept an aye aye in an apartment downtown. Ha hoo hoo, this is not pretty stuff. Here's a W.D. Nelson who married eight times... silverbacked gorilla, one two and three, then he picked up a penchant for a bonobo and married those four times before wedding a japanese snow monkey on a day before...
Mike Nelson: OK, OK Crow, I think everyones heard enough. I think we all get the point.
Crow: Mike I think I speak for all of us when I say... GOOD ONE NELSON!
Tom Servo: I'm locking up my sock monkey, I'll give you that much for free.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: I can't believe people call me a psycho, I'm gonna take those people's heads and carve em' into ashtrays.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: I don't think I'll be able to get to *slee* tonight!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: I figure he'll get bored and die, and then I will rule!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: I hope they don't pick up the pace, this movie is relentless.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: I see the movie has finally thrown up its hands and said, "I just don't know."
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: If you only see 10,000 movies this year, make sure this isn't one of them.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: I'm sorry these two didn't end up together.
Mike Nelson: They did.
Tom Servo: Oh, then I'm sorry about that.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: Is the FILM grainy, or are these GUYS just kinda grainy?
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: It was a Big time when Big men drove nothing but Huge Ford Cars!
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Tom Servo: It's dangerous for Joe Don to be in the water. Someone's bound to harpoon him.
TV Show: Mystery Science Theater 3000